Before Forsaken and Begotten - Chapter 33: When One Door Closes.... *COMPLETE* Quick note 2-21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arldetta, Oct 24, 2003.

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  1. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Well, you know how I feel about it. Wonderfully done, yet again!!!! I loved that Obi-Wan asked for justice, rather than mercy. If I were on a jury, that would probably sway me more than anything else.

    Great job. I loved the whole court scene. But then you knew that... :D
  2. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    The one good thing about missing so much is that I was able to read the whole trial except for the verdict.
  3. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Justice- interesting thing to ask for since it is often a middle ground; not what either side expected or wanted.
  4. Jedi_Borme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2000
    star 3
    NOOOO!!! You can't stop there. I need to know what is going to happen to poor Obi-Wan. You make his life so hard. This is a gread story, can't wait for the next part.
  5. jinny_badpad Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2004
    Pooooor Obiiiiiiii!!! :_| :_|
    Pooooor Quiiiiiiii!!! :_|

    And this Sauro... ummmm... baka!!! Wish I could squash him til he's as flat as a pancake.. [face_devil], but then that wouldn't be very jedi-ish... :(

    Great chapter Arldetta!! Really loved your description of Obi's feelings during this collar off 'n on stuff... made me shiver!! And poor Qui can't get through to him.. must be frustrating not to know what happened to Obi that he changed so much...

    Not that I want to push, but HURRY UUP!!! I think I'm addicted and I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms... [face_hypnotized]

    BadPad
  6. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    That was great Arldetta. I really like how you handled the trial. :)

    Poor Obi-Wan won't be done with this even if the court releases him because then he will need to face the Council's own trial. Poor kid, I can't wait to see what the court decides.
  7. anekasolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2001
    star 2
    wow, i've been away and have missed quite a lot. man that was powerful. You sure have a cruel sence of humor making us wait for the court's decision.
  8. jinny_badpad Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2004
    Hey, someone there?
    New chappy, new chappy, new chappy, PLEEEAAASE!! [face_mischief]
  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    >Hey, Ari, I expected a chapter before this!!!! Get going girl! I expect 2 chapters when I get back or I'm hunting you down and sitting on you until you do!!!! LOL, just kidding. Tell you all about it when I'm back!
  10. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, it's still the 15th in California, hehe! It's my birthday and you guys are getting the present! :D

    Sorry for the delay, the muse was going and then stopped dead again. I had to wring her arm so that she would at least allow me to finish editing this and post. So here I am with another chappie for you.

    Why don't you just go ahead and read it, and I'll post a few comments at the end. Thanks!!!! :D

    -------------------------------------------------------

    Chapter 32: Descent of Twilight

    ?Don?t cry out loud
    You?ve gotta bear your cross
    But never dream too loud
    And you?re tired
    Tied to the next time
    You realize
    Your crimes? ? January Friend (Goo Goo Dolls ? Dizzy up the Girl)



    Oblivious to the day?s proceedings, the cityplanet bustled with life during the evening hours. Every minute a new life started while another ended. Life?s circle rolled on as normal. Nights were usually carefree and boisterous for many of the inhabitants, but for a certain few this night was pregnant with doubts and fears. To those few involved the day had been an emotional torrent that left them drained and unsure. Every decision had consequences, be they good or bad. And it was a decision that would change the course of fate for them. As they awaited the final outcome, many of them would not find the peace they craved.
    For one being in particular the coming verdict hovered over him like a cloud of doom.

    The soft hiss of the door opening seemed not to disturb the occupant inside the small room. Cautiously the visitor stepped in to allow the door to close. For long minutes, noone moved, uncertain if coming was a good idea at all. But just the sight of the huddled figure dispelled all doubts. Taking a calming breath, she took the few steps to reach the corner and slowly knelt down on the ground. Unable to form the proper words, she felt compelled to place a hand on hunched shoulders.

    Startled by the unexpected touch, his head rose up from it?s alcove of arms and legs. Confused blue-green gems stared at her for a moment before deciding the vision before him was real. ?What are you doing here?? His cultured tones a hair above a whisper.

    Looking down for a moment before glancing toward the door, the Calamaran answered in an equally soft voice, ?Master Uvontra was able to arrange a quick visit. She?s waiting for me outside.?

    Silence filled the gap between them. The young man seemed lost in thought once more. Another minute slowly passed before she found the courage to speak again, ?Obi-Wan?I??? A nervous giggle escaped her, ?I don?t even know where to begin. There?s so much I want to say, but somehow now that I?m here it all seems so inadequate.?

    He watched her with vacant eyes. ?You shouldn?t have come.? Voice now devoid of emotion, he was a blank slate to her. It pained her to see him so empty.

    Unconsciously, Bant scooted a little closer to the rogue. ?I had to, I had to tell you that we all still love you very much.?

    Frowning, Obi could no longer hold her gaze. His eyes dropped to the tops of his knees. ?You shouldn?t be here. You could get in trouble for being here.?

    ?Please, please don?t send me away yet.? Her heart was breaking. How could the gentle loving boy she had known long ago be gone completely? She had seen glimpses of that lost initiate on the Zenah and the Norelwind, and she desperately wanted to see him again. ?Please. I don?t care about your past, what they made you do. All I care about is you.?

    ?I don?t deserve your love any more. I?m no longer Jedi.? He tried to shrug away from her gentle touch but he was already trapped in a corner. Besides, as he pulled back she only leaned in closer. Bant was not about to let him go yet.

    ?Do you honestly think that that matters to me?? Her voice was urgent and filled with passion. ?Jedi or not, you will always be Obi-Wan. Criminal or not, you will always be Obi-Wan. We?ve all done things we are not proud of, but that doesn?t mean we have to stop lov
  11. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  12. Jedi_Borme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2000
    star 3
    You know its not nice to end the post like that. This is a great story and can't wait for the next post. :)
  13. jedimommie2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2004
    star 2
    Get back here right now and post the next chapter. It's a good thing I haven't got my nails done yet, because I would have wasted my money by the time I had chewed them off. Wonderful post! Did I sequel? Yippee!!

  14. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Ohhh that was sooooo sweet of Bant!

    Poor Qui... he now knows what Yoda told Obi! Poor guy... he feels like it truly is his fault. And the knowledge that he had the power because Yoda denied other Master's right to train Obi.. now that juz kicks in the gut even more!

    Great work! Loved the emotional play there with all of them! :D

    Can't wait for the last chappie! And I hope the sequal will rock like this one has (then again I'm sure it will ;) your stories rock!)
  15. jinny_badpad Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2004
    Wow, that was so sad... :_| Both of them have lost hope... C'mon Qui, he needs you!!!

    Once again I really loved your description of their feelings. It's so intense, you can nearly feel what they are going through.

    Great post and that cliffy was excellent *laughing hysterically while banging her head on the desk*

    Thanks for the warning... last chappie... *banging her head even more* But hey, there'll be a sequel!!! [face_dancing] :)

    Can't wait for the next/last post... so hurry uuup!!! :D
  16. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful post...terrible cliffie. :D

    I know you planned this as more than one story Arldetta and it does make sense for this arc to end with Obi-Wan's being brought back from the pirates and his fate being decided by the court. I hope your Muse cooperates, I do love this story. :)
  17. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Good Morning everyone!!! :D Just thought I would let you know, the July FanFic Newsletter is up and this month's Interview was provided by yours truely. ;) Mask was also reviewed, which shocked me, but was cool. If you want to take a peek, you can go here.

    Thanks again for reading!! :D

    ~Ari :D
  18. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Wonderful post but evil cliffie! :D
  19. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't leave it like that!!!!!!!!!
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Oh, yes she can leave it like that. Great job again, Ari but you already know how I feel about it. Keep going!!!! And how soon do I have to bug you about the next installment?????

    PS thanks for the lovely words on your interview. That was a wonderful thing to say about someone who likes to kickstart your butt when you need it... [face_laugh]
  21. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, it's all true you know. You have kick started my muse often enough to keep FnB going. We'd still be stuck tn chaps back otherwise. And you also helped my with aan upcoming dilema about where to end and where to pick the story back up. So I must thank you for that.



    And it anyone's really, really, curious and can't stand the wait, I did post a draft at my yahoo group. But I am going to probably put it through a really good fluff'n'stuff revision. So it'll probably be very different. ;) A couple people couldn't wait when I said I finished the draft. [face_blush]


    I'm trying to figure out how to do a 'trailer' for the sequel. I hope to have something about that shortly after the last chap is posted. But we'll see. ;) And I'm really trying to get back into Mask so I can get somewhere with that too. I've left that for too long and have to remember my direction again. Can't say when I'll get to that though. I have to finish a costume for a con in two weeks and I'm really getting into graphics again and want to totally re-do my website. I've been making some wallpapers and that's been really fun. As Willy Wonka once said, 'So much time and so little to do. Scratch that, reverse it.'

    Later y'all! :D

  22. anekasolo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2001
    star 2
    The LAST POST! I'm so sorry to see it end. And i also can't believe you've left us hanging for the court's decision AGAIN.
  23. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    But Arldetta is the Mistress of Cliffies! :D

  24. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Cliffies totally rock!!! :D I love 'em. Actually, I've gotten so used to them because of writing that when Farscape ended with their 'major cliffie' I was like, that's it?? That wasn't so bad. I've seen much crueller, wicked, nasty, evil, vile cliffies than that in fanfic. Of course my hubby was like, "Noooo, they can't end it there!!" And I laughed. ;)


    So don't expect everything to be resolved by the end. Of course, I could kill Obi off and follow up with loose ends in the sequel with Qui and company. Maybe even bring Tuuvu and the Togorians back in to avenge Obi. Now wouldn't that be a twist. :confused: Hmmm, that's not a bad idea, that would save me a lot of hassle for the next fic. :p Well, I'll see if I can get things done for tomorrow, but don't count on it. More than likely sometime next week. So keep those fingers crossed and send offerings to my muse. ;) L8-ta!
  25. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    No killing off Obi-Wan. No, no, no. Angst yes, death no! You are a wicked woman! [face_shame_on_you]
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