Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arldetta, Oct 24, 2003.
No post? I feel abandoned!
Arldetta, I think it is safe to say that this story has me pretty awestruck...it is just that good. I can't believe that you have just one post left! (but at least there is sequel to look forward too!)
I can't wait to find out what the verdict is! And I agree completely with Diane - angst but no death! I don't think that I could handle that!!!
Great Job! I can't wait for that next post!
Ohhh, don't feel neglected!! I just had too many other things to do before I could devote my time to this again. But don't fear, I just re-wrote the chap today and posted to my group for beta. Once I get oppinions back, I should be able to touch it up and post by Friday!! That's my goal right now, because I want to start working on the sequel.
I think the new draft is much better than the first. And it won't require much of a touch up if all goes well, which should allow me to do what I plan. And I'm trying to work out a trailer for the sequel too. Hopefully, I can have a teaser within the week.
Well, keep those fingers crossed!! Off to work out a few things. L8r!!
Yippee!! Oh don't worry! We all know about DRL! Can't wait!
I can't wait for the post, but then again, I'm realy sad to see this end. Captain Observant was right when they said "I think it is safe to say that this story has me pretty awestruck...it is just that good."
Alright peeps, I've done my tweeking, still a little unsure but I think it will do.
I would like to thank EVERYONE for reading and sticking with me through my sporadic posting and lengthy delays. I hope this chap lives up to some of your expectations. This journey has been a long one and I was happy to be a part of it. I hope you were too.
Anyway, without further ado, the final chapter of Forsaken and Begotten........ *bows*
Chapter 33: When one door closes?..
?You have brought me to that moment where words run dry,
To that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence??
Past the point of no return,
The final threshold ?
What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?
Beyond the point of no return??? - Point of no Return (Andrew Lloyd Weber ? Phantom of the Opera)
Osei-Tutu looked at the foreman expectantly. She could feel the tension in the room stretching to a point it would snap at the sound of a heartbeat. Even now, virtually everyone held their breath. Glancing around the room quickly, her gaze caught the lithe form of the rogue. He stood tall, with his head slightly bowed in submission to the decision, yet his face was a blank slate. The only indication of his rolling emotions could be glimpsed in the murky blue-green portals to his soul.
Suddenly, she had the urge to end this quickly. Osei-Tutu could no longer stand the suspense, but more importantly, she could no longer take the thought of this young man being put through more agony. And that is exactly what was happening. The question of his future weighed heavily on his young shoulders despite his calm appearance. It was time to put an end to that question. Turning back to the Panel, in a clear voice she prompted, ?Foreman, please inform the court of you decision on the subject of Obi-Wan Kenobi.?
The foreman locked his gaze with the Arbitrator. To look away meant his resolve would crumble and he knew that what was to come would be hard. ?Regarding Obi-Wan Kenobi, this Panel finds that on the count of Damage and Destruction of Property: guilty. On the count of Aggravated Theft and Larceny: guilty. And on the count of Aggravated Manslaughter: guilty.? There was a soft murmur from the audience as the verdict was announced.
Osei-Tutu continued with the formalities of the courtroom, ignoring the whispers. ?Having found the accused guilty on all counts, what is the Panel?s recommendation??
The foreman took a long deep breath, his gaze still locked on to the Arbitrator, ?Based upon the charges this Panel recommends a sentence of one year in a Republic Reformation facility with option of possible parole.? The previously soft murmur abruptly rose, but the foreman continued in a loud clear voice, ?However, in light of the accused?s recent actions in returning the passengers and crew of the Zenah to the safety of the Republic as well as willingly turning himself over to the Republic for prosecution, we recommend a reduction in time to a period of three months. In addition, as the criminal has a unique background, we also suggest that he be placed in the Ashua Detention and Reformation Facility in the Juvenile Division to undergo an intensive rehabilitation program where at the completion of said course, he will be released into Jedi Custody for the Council?s final decision.?
The low din continued for a moment in the spans before the Arbitrator would agree or disagree with the findings. Nodding, her head in silent gratitude for the Panel?s verdict and sentence, she cut through the whispers to silence the crowd. ?Thank you for your recommendations, as Arbitrator in this case I concur with your findings and agree with the suggested sentence. Obi-Wan Kenobi will be taken to Ashua Detention Center this afternoon to begin the rehabilitation process, effective immediately. At this time, the court considers this case closed. Court is now adjourned.? Osei-Tutu rose and left the room, followed quickly by the Panel.
Oh my goodness!!! This is such a sad cliffy!!!!
The orderlies quickly assumed their positions. Obi-Wan jerked as they urged him forward, a single word escaping his lips as he was lead away. ?master?? The word encompassed the plea in his soul. Qui-Gon?s hand remained hovering in the air when Obi-Wan was torn from his grasp. His heart shattered with every step that led his Obi-Wan away from him. He didn?t know if he could take losing the boy again and that is precisely what he feared. The darkness loomed ever closer and he was certain that it was set on destroying the youth. Unconsciously, he took a step forward.
Just past the doorway, Obi-Wan stopped, twisting out of his guard?s arms, he stood looking back at the Jedi. Jaded gems locked with cobalt crystals connecting their souls. The world fell away and only they existed. They stayed honed in to the other as the doors slowly began to close. The white metal partitions severed the link leaving each one drained and empty.
And while Qui-Gon stood staring at the place he last saw his charge, he could hear weeping. At first he believed it to be coming from his own heart, but soon realized that it was the Force itself crying out it?s sorrow. He knew in that instant that this was not what the Force had intended for them and that fate was not yet finished dealing out pain and suffering.
I literally cried! *Sniff*
WELL DONE!!! Extremely well done!!! Great work!! Loved it and look forward to its continuation!
Wonderful, Ari. I liked how you changed it a bit - gave it more punch and angst (and we both know how much I love angst).
I really look forward to the trailer and the next story. Let me know if you need me to beat up your Muse. I'll be glad to do it - if that's what it takes to get you started again.
Great job. Dang, it's over.... for now
What a way to end this part- need moreneed more need more
This is so sad! Obi-Wan is imprisoned in hell now. The dark-side 'll torment and try to destroy him in body and mind. Without the Force how long can he hold out? We'll have to wait months to read the answer...
It's time to say thank you for this wonderful story. You always gave me a reason to look forward to the next week, and the next post. I'll miss you so much! But I understand that you have to take the time you need to re-load your very talented muse.
Have a good time!
Words fail me. That was incredible!
I only found this story the other night! There are some benefits to finding a long story at it's end! You don't have to suffer the wait between posts! I suppose that I'll have to suffer with the next part however, because I don't think I can stand a year and a half or more of waiting before the next part ends!!
I'm always appreciative of a writer who treats Qui-Gon fairly! Too often he is portrayed as a monster!
It's what best expresses what I think of Forsaken and Begotten, Arldetta. Besides, everyone else has said what I might have already!
Bravo! , but, thinking about whats to come for Obi, has me cringing. 7
Well, I'm off on vacation now. And since I won't have a comp to distract me, I should hopefully have that Trailer ready when I get back.
I kinda got sidetracked before hand by a re-design of my website. You could always check that out and let me know what you think. I would greatly appreciate it.
If not I shall hopefully see you all next mon!!
Thanks to everyone who replied, I will do responses when I get back.
Hope to see a first chapter on the next one in my email!!! Soon!!!!
Have a great vacation!
I loved this story Ari and definitely look forward to the next. You have set up a very ominous scenario and I can't wait to see how it plays out. Have a wonderful vacation.
Ok, so you told us it was coming but still...I can't believe that it is over...I have been readiing and loving this story for so long it is just really weird that the end finally came.
You did a fabulous job with the entire story. I enjoyed every sentence that I read. I really loved the tone of the ending, it was the perfect sst-up for the sequel, which is coming shortly, right?
Loved the story! Cam't wait for the sequel! Just let me know what it's called or post the new title on this thread please, and I'll follow you whereever you take our loveable and cuddle-worthy Obi.
Please please tell us where you're posting the sequel!
Utterly fantastic story! I really can't wait for the sequel! Poor Obi and Qui! I can't seem to get enough of those two.
Love this story started reading a long time ago
pleeeeese the sequel would be wonderful
Poor Obi how long does he have to wait to get out of the detention centre.
Hey folks. Sorry I haven't been around. I'm sorry to say that all muses decided to take a vacation and didn't leave me a contact number. However, recently I've been trying to get back into SW in prep for the upcoming release. As a result, they have decided to open negotiations for their return and we're working on a deal right now. (Sorry was reading about the NHL disaster last night, guess it's still fresh on the mind. )
Anyway, I'm not promising anything as of yet, but I am considering starting back up on the Sequel. I will probably post drafts to my group as I write. There is already one for the first chap there, but I don't really like it, so I'm going to try a different angle and see if that draws the Muse out of hiding.
Thank you all for supporting me throughout the years (yes, it has been years ) with this fic, this fandom and this world of fanfic. This has undoubtedly been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've met so many wonderful people who have impacted my life in one way or another. And I can't imagine a world now without writing. Thanks again.
Your humble Author,
Wow! Sorry I never replied to the last thread, but I've been a huge fan of FnB for, yes, years. It is definately a fave! When I came onto the forums today, I did a double take when I saw this! A pleasant surprise!! I've been wondering if you would ever write the sequal, or if your muses had decided to take a permanent holiday with FnB. Well I am totally stoked that you are picking it up again! Please, please release the first chap soon!
Here muse. Here muse.
I hope to see back into the swing of writing soon.
Ans *sniff* don't remind me that there's no hockey this year.