Before Forsaken and Begotten - Chapter 33: When One Door Closes.... *COMPLETE* Quick note 2-21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arldetta, Oct 24, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Of course I want you to keep going. I love this story!
  2. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
  3. Sabe126 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Yes, of course! :)

    Your descriptions of Obi-Wan?s emotions being reflected in his eyes were beautiful. He accepted their channelling of the force but will he be able to forgive them? Are they still in danger? Obi-Wan seemed to recognise where they were going, is it the Pirates planet? What can Qui-Gon say that will make him change his mind?
  4. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    More would be brilliant :D I'm loving this story so far - it's so beautifully written.

    And thank you for reading my short stories :) I'm glad you like my style!
  5. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    You know how I feel! Write faster!
  6. Captain_Observant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    AAHHHH!!
    I just found this repost!!
    Great Job!! I loved it last time, and I am loving it even more this time!!!!
  7. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    Woohoo! A post! That just made my crapy weekend better. Keep it coming with the posts.
  8. Sabe126 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
  9. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    So, it's another Friday, and I guess that means another Post. I truly hope you like this one. It might be a bit confusing, but I thought it flowed so well in my mind. It's one of my favourite chapters. ;) At least, if my memory serves me correctly. :p

    Well, on with the post, right? Enjoy! :D

    ---------------------------------------------


    Chapter 3 ? Old Wounds, Same Mistakes

    ?Nothing that you say will release you.
    Nothing that you pray would forgive you.
    Nothing?s what your words mean to me.

    Something that you did will destroy me.
    Something that you said will stay with me,
    Long after you?re dead and gone.? ? As Heaven is Wide (Garbage)


    Running through the vacant corridors, Bant charged into Adi?s and Siri?s room and headed straight for the ?fresher. A startled Siri, watched her flight and instantly became curious. She was about to follow the fellow Padawan when Master Tahl came in.

    Glancing at the concerned Master, she could see the compassion in the cat like eyes. This puzzled her further, as she could not understand what could have upset them both so. Breezing by, the Master pursued her apprentice. Siri stood still for a moment determining what she should do, when her Master finally entered. She stared up at the stern woman expectantly.

    Adi easily read the bewilderment in the perceptive gaze of her Padawan and knew she would have to answer a multitude of questions. And most of them she feared there would be no answer she could offer at this time. Already expecting the question, she heard, ?Master? What?s happened??

    Sighing, the Councilwoman made her way over to stand in front of the girl. She figured it would be best to start with the facts. ?We?ve landed on a planet. We are still unsure as to the extent of the damage.? She paused to observe the younger woman as Siri battled to hold back her anxiousness at learning the real reason for the distress that surrounded them. ?And we have learned something extraordinary about our Pirate captive. It appears, he was once a Jedi student.?

    Siri wanted to blurt out that that was obvious, since he had known her name. But she bit her tongue to stop such an impertinent comment. Instead, she managed a calm, ?Who is he??

    ?His name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.? Watching the girl intently, Adi gauged the girl?s reaction. After witnessing Bant?s response to the news, she didn?t know how her Padawan would accept this revelation.

    Siri withdrew into her memories. She knew the name and searched for the few instances they had interacted as initiates. After a moment she found a sparring match, in which he won, that sifted forward. And also a memory of Bruck and Obi-Wan standing facing each other as some heated words were exchanged. At the time she thought she was above such petty behaviour, but found she was wrong during a mission to Kegan.

    There she learned she was just as competitive as the two boys and desire to prove herself better. But the patience and experience of the other Padawan with her only proved she had much to learn. That was over three years ago and she thought she had progressed since then. Now her thoughts drifted back to the present and she began to realize the precarious position they were in. Thousands of questions ran through her mind and she sat on the edge of the bed as she sorted through them.

    Regarding her Padawan, Adi watched as Siri sank to the bed. ?Siri??


    ?Are you alright??


    Sniffling a bit, Bant glanced up at her Master?s question. ?I don?t know,? she confessed. ?My world has just been up-turned, and I don?t know what to do about it.? The Calamarian returned her gaze back down to examine her hands. She had sat down on the waste disposal seat since it was really the only place to sit. Tahl after a moment decided to sit across from her on the edge of the bathing tub.

    ?Would you like to talk about it?? She offered calmly. Tahl hated seeing her gentle Padawan under such turmoil. ?It might help.? Opening the door, she would have to wait for her apprentice to accept
  10. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  11. Xeana Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 2
    That's right Qui-Gon. You'd better feel really sorry about what you did to our Obi-Wan! :mad:

    I can't believe I missed a post! [face_shocked] Poor Bant!! :( :_| All the time thinking Obi-Wan was dead and then he shows up on a pirate raid! What a shock.

    Another excellent post. :_| Poor Obi-Wan! :_| Give him a hug from me, please. *Sniffles*
  12. Lurkalidth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 2
    Hi! :) I'm glad you're reposting this. It's a delight to read multiple times. The nuances are as (if not more) compelling the 2nd, 3rd, nth time as the first time through. It still kills me, though, that Obi-Wan winds up paying the price for others' shortsightedness.

    Thank you for sharing this.
  13. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    well thought out dialogue.
  14. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    :D
    This weekend was already good, what with hanging out with my fanforce guild, but this post was just wonderful and flowed so very well. Now if I could get my next chapter to do the same...
  15. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Trust me Arldetta, you are DEFINITELY up to writing this. It is SO good. I am enjoying it so much :D We're only three posts in but I'm already totally absorbed by your storytelling. You've written Obi-Wan so heart-breakingly angsty I could just cry.

    Can't wait 'til next Friday!
  16. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This post remains one of my favorites but I'm a sucker for Obi angst any time...Lovely as always.
  17. Sabe126 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Qui-Gon has his work cut out to get through to Obi-Wan but maybe Bant and Siri can help. Obi-Wan might be more willing to open up to them. Will Qui-Gon force Obi-Wan to return to Coruscant with them, that is if they can get off of the planet. Obi-Wan knows where they are but the others don?t. This could be very dangerous!
  18. Captain_Observant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    I love this story!!
    Have I told you that before?
    And it seems that each and everytime I read it, it just gets better and better....
    AAHHH!!!
    I just wish I had time to read it as often as I would like!!!
    [face_love]
  19. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    hehe, sorry I'm a few hours late guys. I'll try and make it up to you next week. ;)

    Anywho, I'm just going to post the Chap tonight and then I'll do all my replies tomorrow.

    As always, thanks for reading. I still really love this story and I want to do it justice. So hang in there folks a little longer. I hope you like the journey this will be. If I can only pick one story to be my fan fic legacy it would be this. And that's saying a lot because I generally hate all my work! :p

    Well, enough of my inconherant insomniac babble and on with the post! :D

    ---------------------------------------------

    Chapter 4: Wading Through

    ?Life and all it?s many choices
    Are so funny and so mean
    Deep thoughts in one?s convictions
    Can be someone?s discontent
    Just what it seems isn?t
    If must needs the devil drives

    Soul Searcher what are you looking for
    Soul giver what will you settle for?
    ? Soul Searcher (Clanad)


    His arms pulled the youth tighter to him, as Qui-Gon walked toward the sleepcouch. His thoughts still reeling from the battle he had forcefully ended. And he hated himself for it. When he first realized who their captive and daring pilot rescuer was, he had been both elated and dismayed. And those compelling eyes only added to the confusion of his emotions. And what are you going to do now? He asked himself.

    Carefully, he placed the corsair on the mattress but could not bring himself to release his hold from the young man. Instead he wanted to grip tighter so as not to loose him again; so as not to let go of the fantastic waking dream he found him self in. How he wished everything could have gone differently, and not turned into the nightmare it had so quickly become. He will not be pleased, his conscience remarked.

    His internal debate began. He never was to begin with, answering himself wryly. His hand strayed closer to the taut features of the boy, and he marveled to realize that his hand was trembling lightly.

    Noticing the shivering hand as well, his conscience asked, How is it that one boy can effect you more than the thousand wars you have seen?

    Sighing, he lightly brushed the soft ginger bangs from the young face and sat on the edge to watch him sleep. He is special.

    Passively, his conscience queried further, If he?s so special, why did you let him go all those years ago?

    Because, I was blind. I already realized that. He reminded his inner voice. There was nothing I could do when we were told he had been killed.

    And you are so certain of that? A hint of speculation in its tone.

    Tearing his gaze away, Qui-Gon finally stood. Clenching his eyes closed from the rebuke, he stopped two steps away from the couch. What could I have done? Gone to search in vain? The Council would never have allowed that.

    Slowly, he turned back to the sleeping rogue, watching the slight rise and fall of Obi-Wan?s chest. Again the voice remained calm yet condoning at the same time, inciting him further. Yet in your heart, did you not question their judgement when they could provide no trace of him?

    Of course, I did. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and fell into the defensive posture he used so often in his negotiations. But what good could I have done? The investigating authorities claimed that the Pirates took no prisoners.

    The diplomatic voice claimed plainly, They took at least one.

    The casually spoken fact infuriated him even more than he anticipated. Breathing deeply, he mimicked Obi-Wan?s rhythmic breathes to calm his fraying nerves. After a moment he thought but could not finish, If I had only known. . . .

    What would you have done? He asked himself incredulously.

    Taking a step closer to the sleeping form again. Searched for him, obviously.

    You speak with the knowledge of hindsight, but would you have, truthfully? Qui-Gon moved to sit at the edge of the bed again. He soon
  20. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    When Obi wakes up, he's gonna be mad. And Qui will be the only person in the room, the last person Obi wants to see.
  21. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Another great post Arldetta :) I like how you're writing Tuvuu. He's not the most likely father figure but you've written him so convincingly.
  22. CrystalKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    That is a wonderful post. Poor Obiwan thinking he was abandon. Nope he is not going to a happy person I think.
  23. Xeana Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 2

    Aaaaww, sad and sweet. At least Qui-Gon is beginning to realize his mistakes. Poor Obi-Wan, going through all those years feeling abandonded. And the pirates going after Obi-Wan will be exciting to watch!
  24. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Thank you for posting. I am enjoying this the second time around
  25. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This is still one of my favorite stories!!! But then you knew that. Left you a reply on Catch Me. Glad to see that there will be more posts on Forsaken coming...

    Love this fic!!!!!!!!
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.