Before Forsaken and Begotten - Chapter 33: When One Door Closes.... *COMPLETE* Quick note 2-21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arldetta, Oct 24, 2003.

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  1. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, I finished the draft for Catch me today so I'm very happy. Also in light of the Holiday, I thought I could be nice and do an early post for you all. And if I can, I'll still try to update again on Friday. I should be able to really concentrate on this fic now, so I may try and get this fic rolling again. ;) But you'll have to keep your fingers crossed that I don't hit another road block. Thanks again for reading!! :D

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    Chapter 5: Crimson Wishes Grant Only Black Dreams

    ?Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
    For the break that will make it OK
    There's always some reason to feel not good enough
    And it's hard at the end of the day

    I need some distraction or a beautiful release
    Memories seep from my veins
    Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
    I'll find some peace tonight?
    ? Angel (Sara McLachlan ? City of Angels Soundtrack)


    Captain Lessik accessed the outside hatch and prepared for any surprises. Fortunately, only the tall meadow grass moved from a gentle breeze. Beyond the clearing, he noted that the forest was thick and dense. He motioned for some of his crew to exit, in order for them to begin their exterior examination of the damage. At that moment the rest of his crew was working on the internal problems while he took the rest out.

    Lessik followed his crew outside and kept himself alert for any danger. While watching his crew work, the Captain?s thoughts wondered. He recalled the entire incident that led them here. He remembered that the tall Jedi, Master Jinn, had been sent along to watch for the pirates. The board that controlled Galactic Transit Corp requested extra protection in the event they were raided, thus the Jedi had sent the Knight along.

    However, Lessik was unsure as to what the Knight would do, since the pirates were only glorified thieves. Once their ship had been attacked, the Knight advised that they act calmly. Jinn knew there were no valuables on board and thought that caution would guarantee safety for the passengers and crew. This tactic was working until the explosion.

    That event changed the course of both parties. For the pirates, it meant abandon ship and get away as quickly as possible. For his crew and passengers, it meant a fight for survival. What fascinated Lessik the most was the interaction between the Togorians and the human among them. The boy seemed young, but they obviously valued his opinion. Lessik also realized that the boy had known that there were Jedi, mostly, on board. This had peeked his curiosity, since it appeared that he knew that before the raid took place. At least, that was what he gathered from the boy?s words. The Togorian raiders all spoke in their native tongue so, Lessik had listened intently on the boy?s comments.

    Later, once the pirate vessel broke off, he was surprised to find the rogue on his bridge. And not just on his bridge but offering his help to land the craft. Lessik knew that without his co-pilot, Griven, to help, they would have a slim chance of surviving. He was further surprised when the pirate asked for the controls to land the ship, for the most part, by himself. Even as he thought about these events, Lessik was still not sure what prompted him to trust the rouge completely. But in all honesty, he was glad he did.

    Now, he pondered how the raider/hero was doing. He recalled the crimson colour of blood coating some of the controls and the faint, once they landed. The Jedi had said, ?Obi-Wan? when he looked upon the lad and Lessik wasn?t sure if that was the boy?s name or something else. But the tall Jedi stated that they would take care of their own and took the boy with him. For some reason he knew that the Jedi also included the rouge in question.

    In the mean time, he needed to take care of his crew and find out how extensive the damage was. He had four of his men with him and five working in the engineering room. Griven and his medic, Kohnwei, were in the infirmary. All of his men were
  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Well another wonderful post. You know that I liked this one especially. The anger and angst was at an all-time intensity! My favorite part A void. I want to be a void. Nothing. Empty. No more feelings. shows poor Obi-Wan and how deep his despair is. Great job as always!

    Happy Thanksgiving!
  3. CrystalKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    WOW that post had some tense emotions to it.

    Poor Obiwan, I just want to hold and cuddle him. He needs some TLC.
  4. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    great!

    These parts were excellent :

    His hand moved down to check his wounded side and found that there was less pain in the movements. He could also sense the foreign concentration of the Force around the marred tissue. Again he gathered it was Jinn?s handiwork and frowned further. Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. When his mind cleared he could feel the other occupant in the room but said nothing to acknowledge her.


    Desolation and desperation clawed at his distraught countenance, shredding his resolve. And unbeknownst to Obi-Wan, tears traced the lines of his cheeks. His soft skin glistened from his exertion. The silken ginger strands clumped together. His bangs dangled in his face, allowing salty water to sting his eyes. He didn?t know how long he was at it, nor did he give a damn. All he wanted was to stop the misery that engulfed him daily amidst the catastrophe that had become his existence. Rip from his mind, the day his dreams were crushed and buried into the ground of hopelessness. The day his life changed forever and created the monster that fleetingly clung to life.

  5. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Great Job!

    Gobble Gobble- oops, I think I ate too much turkey...burp.
  6. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    GREAT angst-ridden post. The BEST kind.

    Superb writing Arldetta! :D

    Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving :)
  7. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    You know, I forgot to mention last time, but Chapter 5 is the whole reason I decided to write this fic. I had seen the scene with Obi in the rec room and I knew I had to write it. The original Plot Bunny for this was posted in Shanobi's PB Thread in the Writer's Resouce Board. But when I had that vision I made it my own. I hope everyone likes how it all turns out. ;) Thanks for reading!! :D

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    Chapter 6: Conviction of Melancholy

    ?It?s funny that way,
    You can get used to the tears and the pain.
    What a child will believe,
    You never loved me.

    You can?t hurt me now.
    I got a way from you, I never thought I would
    You can?t make me cry.
    You once had the power, I never felt so good about myself.?
    ? Oh, Father (Madonna ? Like a Prayer)


    Slowly, Obi-Wan turned to see who had found him. To his own astonished amazement, he immediately threw his arms around the figure and buried his face in their shoulder. Rekindled tears soaked the cloth, but to his delight, arms came to return the embrace. Together the two hugged each other, tightening and relaxing to reassure the other without words. Their embrace held for what could have been hours to them. It was only when he registered softly spoken words that he withdrew again.

    ?I?ve missed you so much,? the Padawan admitted. She felt Obi-Wan stiffen when she spoke and the abrupt detachment. Her heart ached when she saw the emptiness that remained in the blue-green gaze of a tormented soul. In that moment she wondered if her coming was the right thing to do.

    But the need to do so, was so hard to ignore. When Siri had come to inform them he was awake, they were already aware of his flight. The turmoil he experienced was overpowering to all Force-sensitives. He apparently was not conscious of the fact his emotions were being broadcast through the Force. At first, the group had tried to ignore it, but soon found it was impossible. The deeply rooted pain that lived within Obi-Wan began to affect the young initiates, causing some to cry their responding grief.

    After some time had passed, Tola approached the Padawan and touched her hand. Tears glistened in the little girl?s eyes when she stared into the large silver one?s of the apprentice. Quietly, she leaned forward and whispered, ?He needs you.? It was all Bant needed for her to do what her heart was already commanding. She hurried from the room in search of the source of sorrow that swelled through the ship. The emotions were so powerful, that she could not use the Force to locate him. In the end, it was the sickening sound of vicious punches and anguished cries that allowed her to find him.

    When she entered the Rec Room, she had to stifle the cry that wanted to escape her. Although, by the looks of things, he probably would not have even heard her if she had. The misery in each swing was crushing to the spirit, and she could not imagine housing it. She didn?t know how anyone could have survived while retaining the melancholy that poured off her old friend. Her heart almost shattered when his fist slipped and he slumped against the post. Yet she still could not force herself to move any closer. Only after he had crumpled to the floor was she able to command her legs again.

    Cautiously, she made her way to the wretched form of her friend. And with as much care as she could muster, she touched his shoulder. To her joyous surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and cried on her shoulder. The reaction was not what she expected but it was definitely not unwelcome. How she had missed the bright laughter, the charming smile and the quick wit of her remarkable friend. She knew he had some rough spots, afterall, everyone had flaws of some kind. But she always believed that his were minor. The rivalry between him and Bruck was the biggest obstacle, and it had cost him dearly. Their last fight prompted the Council to send Obi-Wan to Bandomeer, and in turn into the hands of the pirates. And it had disgusted her when they
  8. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, I was bad and didn't reply to the responses to Chapter 4, so I will do both 4&5 now. My apologies. [face_blush]

    ca-tron - Well, I guess you see now how Obi's gonna react to Qui's Force suffestion. I just hoped you liked it.

    Ginger Jedi - Yeah, Tuuvu has become one of my favourite OC's. No he's not perfect and he doesn't try to be. He just allows his emotions to sway him. He's a great Character, so I think I'll be keeping him around. ;)

    CrystalKenobi - Thanks. No he won't be happy and coming to terms with the new bit of info will still take a while. We'll just have to see how things turn out. :)

    Xeana - Yes, Qui has learned his lesson the hard way, in fact he's really only beginning to learn his lesson. But you'll just have to keep reading in order to find out what I really mean. ;) Yes, a pirate rescue is just what the doctor ordered. [face_devil]

    PadawanKitara - Well, thanks for reading it a second time around. Hopefully, I'll be all caught up and start posting again soon. :D

    dianethx - Oh I know how you feel very much. :p But you are one of the few that at least has an idea of what is to come. [face_devil] And yes, I like the end of CHap 5 too. It's one of my favourites. [face_love]

    CrystalKenobi - Yeah. That post flowed right out of me. I loved exposing the raw emotions. They were great. All I know is I wish I could give him some TLC. :D

    Keeper of Swords - Wow, thanks!!! :D
    I liked then too.

    PadawanKitara - Thanks as always. :)

    Ginger Jedi - Aww, thanks. [face_blush] It was my favourite chapter. I love all the raw emotions. It was so much fun to write.


  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    But you do emotional/angsty so well.
  10. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I loved this one as well. Poor Bant, realizing just how bad it was for Obi-Wan, the pain of his past mixing with the physical and mental anguish. And then him saying that the crew should just take their justice. Marvelous but then you know how I feel!
  11. Sabe126 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Sorry I've got a bit behind with this. Am stunned at the emotional assault from Chapter 6. That was an amazing description of Obi-Wan's torn spirit. If he survives, how will Qui-Gon and the other Jedi react when they discover what happened?
  12. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    He seems like he would do anything at this point. [face_devil]

    Cue Quiggy. :D
  13. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Alright folks, I think I have a good announcement for you all. I think I'm far enough ahead that I can hurry this along. Hopefully by the time I actually catch up I will be able to post a Brand Spanking New Chap by Christmas! If not by X-mas by New Year's latest! :D :D :D

    Anyways, the real good news, is this is gonna be kicked up a notch. *BAM* Meaning at least two chaps a week!

    I hope you are all as excited as I am!!

    Now, on with the post!

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    Chapter 7: Appealing a Verdict

    ?I thought I saw a man brought to life
    He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
    He showed me what it was to cry
    Well you couldn?t be that man I adored

    ....Illusion never changed
    Into something real
    I?m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
    You?re a little late
    I?m already torn?
    ? Torn (Natalie Imburglia)

    At first, Qui-Gon had been frustrated with his current assignment. Walking through the dense forest for possible danger only kept him from staying with Obi-Wan and working things out. Adi?s stern glares told him that protesting would be futile, so he had followed her during their trek. But as they ventured through the foliage, the Living Force soothed his tension.

    For a while, neither spoke as they walked. They were busy sensing their surroundings for possible threats. Amazingly, the forest seemed serene even with the teeming indigenous life scurrying through it. The flora perfumed the air with a sweet and inviting smell. Before long the tall Master gave in to the tranquillity beckoning him. Occasionally, pausing to examine a bloom closer.

    Pausing yet again, he glanced up at the warm yellow sun above. There was moisture in the air that reminded him of a planet just after a summer thundershower. The richly filled atmosphere could touch a soul with such a gentleness that it only forced the exasperated Jedi into the tranquility he did not seek. Sighing, he had lost himself in the beauty that surrounded him when Adi came up beside him, ?I am pleased that you were able to find peace again, Qui-Gon.?

    The large Jedi regarded the Councilor for a moment before responding, ?It was not what I was seeking at the moment, Master.? He sighed softly while examining a vibrant lavender orchid. ?But it is what I needed.?

    ?The Force is greater than all of us, Qui-Gon. It knows what you need even if you don?t agree with it.? For a moment the firm woman took her time holding the same purple bloom Qui-Gon had been looking at.

    Qui-Gon returned his attention to the woodland around him. ?I don?t sense anything threatening in these woods.?

    Adi considered the Knight as she too took in the wield surrounding them. ?No, nothing that could be considered dangerous.?

    ?In fact, Master, it is quite the contrary. As if the forest itself emits serenity. Perhaps if we could spare some time we should bring the students out here to meditate.? Qui-Gon honestly believed that the students could benefit from a world bountiful in the Living Force. He also wished for his beloved Tahl to share this beauty with him.

    In that instant he felt his heart constrict, and a sorrow cast down upon him in the shadows of the wood. This was the first time in five long years that he had the first real sense of peace in his heart. Ever since he had learned of Obi-Wan?s apparent demise he had felt incomplete. Shortly after Obi-Wan?s death, he had run into Tahl again. For a time, he felt alive when he was around her but the vacancy still nagged him in the back of his mind. And when she wasn?t there, the emptiness could almost swallow him whole. He had always believed that it was because Tahl had not been in his life constantly.

    It seemed the Council also recognized the change in the Jedi Knight, because they sent him on missions with Tahl and her Padawan more frequently. Yet during most of the missions he shared with his life-long friend, the feeling of emptiness remained. However the sensation seemed to dim
  14. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    PadawanKitara - You're just happy because you get to see my posts first. ;) I post them so late EST that it's still a decent hour for you! [face_laugh] Anyway, Thanks again! I appreciate you sticking with me. :D

    dianethx - OH I know how you feel. And just so you know, I'm getting ADT! LOL, no, not really, I just wanted to scare you off for a bit until I can finish my draft! :p But I'll be sending you more soon. [face_devil]

    Sabe126 - Don't you fret 'bout it. I'm just glad you're still reading at all. Sometimes I think this poor ol' story has been left out to dry for far too long. I don't think too many are even interested in reading it anymore. (You keep quiet Master, I know you still want some more! :p ) But hey, I promised to finish what I started and finish I will. Thanks again!! :D

    ca-tron - OH yes, his emotional turmoil has definately effected his mental state. Oh the angst! [face_devil] [face_love] [face_devil] :D LOL. You know you like it too! :p


    ttfn! :D
  15. Keeper_of_Swords Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    Excellent posts.

    Stuff I liked:

    Emotional chaos, physical suffering and the broad spectrum in between could not be conferred into simple words.

    In that instant he felt his heart constrict, and a sorrow cast down upon him in the shadows of the wood. This was the first time in five long years that he had the first real sense of peace in his heart.

    Only eternal calm and darkness. But he would take the darkness over the red fire of agony that now lapped at his being
  16. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Another cliffie. You do love those so much!

    Poor Obi-Wan, poor Bant and poor Qui-Gon. So much is conspiring against them but mostly Obi-Wan.

    Love your descriptions and actions of all the players in this piece.

  17. CrystalKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Worried about Obiwan. He is going to be alright isn't he. :(

    Again you have done a wonderful job with the interaction of the characters.
  18. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    2 updates a week!?!? Yahooooo! :D

    Nice angsty, dramatic posts there Arldetta :D Role on Friday!
  19. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  20. jacen200015 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
  21. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    Oh, I love seeing Obi being tortures. That's one reason that I hang out around the boards. :D
  22. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Hey, Arldetta, you should check out the nominations. You got 3 for Best AU in the Before the Saga section....way to go!
  23. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, I got out of work early due to family issues, nothing bad so don't worry. Anyways, that translates into good news for you guys! I get to post early!!!! :D

    Well, I'm very excited because if I keep this pace up, I will be getting that new chap to you by Christmas day!!! :D :D

    I figure it might be a nice X-mas present for my faithful readers! And THANK YOU ALL for reading and especially nominating this fic in the Winter Awards!! I don't know if it's entirely deserving, but I appreciate it none-the-less!! :D

    Anyway, enough babble. I think you guys are aching for a post! ;)

    ---------------------------------------------


    Chapter 8: Picking up the Pieces

    ?I hang my head and I advertise
    A soul for sale or rent
    I have no heart, I?m cold inside
    I have no real intent

    Save me, save me, save me
    I can?t face this life alone
    Save me, save me, save me
    I?m naked and I?m far from home.?
    ? Save Me (Queen ? Greatest Hits)


    ?Captain, we have located the ship,? Grruun informed his commander. ?It appears to have landed on NMerra. From what I?ve been able to scan, they are in one of the large forests. The sparse settlements are not anywhere near them. We should be able to approach from an angle that should hide us, if their sensors are back online.?

    Tuuvu listened intently to his helmsman, despite his desire to rush through things he needed to make sure he knew what he was getting into. Once the explanation was complete, he stated simply, ?Do it.?

    ?Aye, sir.? Grruun immediately went to work plotting the course to follow his captain?s commands.

    Tuuvu began to move around the forward cabin checking systems and preparing himself mentally for what lay ahead. Kuuur had been watching his Captain closely since his entrance. At last he decided to try and persuade the man again, ?I still think we should not be risking the crew this way.?

    Pausing for a moment, Tuuvu glanced over at Kuuur harshly, ?I need to know he?s alright. I thought you understood that.? There was a soft snarl to punctuate his displeasure at being questioned again.

    ?I do understand it,? the First Mate replied. Tuuvu turned to fully face his Second-in-command when he noticed a change in his tone. ?It?s just I keep feeling like our whole world is about to change. Like the direction of our lives is about to be drastically altered, and I?m not sure if it?s for the best.? The two stared at each other for a long moment and Kuuur realized that Tuuvu had felt the same thing.

    Before either of them could speak again, Grruun interrupted, ?We?re making our final approach, Capt?n.?

    Distracted with his primary objective, Tuuvu went back to his preparations, ?Good.? He directed his next command to Kuuur and demanded, ?I want a boarding party ready by the time we touch down. You hear me? I want to get in and out of there as quickly as possible.?

    Simply nodding, Kuuur left the bridge to seek out those to accompany them. Tuuvu finished what he was doing and moved to watch as they approached the planet. All the while, his thoughts drifted to his lost charge and what condition he might be in. He pleaded with his gods and even the Force, that his worrying was all for not. But his parental instincts still feared the worst.

    Within a quarter hour the Night?s Scream landed in a nearby meadow to the Zenah. Kuuur had completed his task swiftly. And as the ship touched down, Tuuvu, Kuuur, Mrrogh, Dergh, and Naaur headed out into the forest to find their prey. They did not have to look too hard, as they neared the other clearing. Slowly, they crept along toward the damaged craft. As they got closer they could see a few members of the crew working around the mangled engines. With simple hand movements and glances, they set a plan into motion.

    **

    Obser headed back to his work. He had just finished talking with his Captain who hurried inside after the Jedi. His offer to assist them was turned down, but he did not mind. Fen was a good fri
  24. CrystalKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Very nicely done. I just wanted to cry when Obi said he deserved it. Poor Bant


    I like how you charaterized the healer.
  25. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Keeper of Swords - Thanks, honestly, I wrote this chap so long ago, I forgot how good some of those lines are. ;) Thanks for reminding me. :D

    dianethx - cliffie? these are only baby cliffies. [face_devil] Oh, but isn't it great!! I love ANGST!! [face_love] LOL. Thanks for the support Master! :D

    CrystalKenobi - Now don't go fretting too much. Just read on and you'll find out exactly what happens. [face_devil] I can only hope to maintain all the characters I created. I have a growing database to help me keep consistant. Thanks again! :D

    Ginger_Jedi - LOL, I'm glad someone noticed. ;) Well, it's friday, you ready for emotionally charged tidbits. [face_devil] Good. ;)

    PadawanKitara - Thanks for the nom!! :D

    jacen200015 - Yeah I know, I can be a bit rough on the boy, but it's only because I love him! [face_laugh]

    ca-tron - Oh well, if you enjoy that, you came to the right place. It's about 95% of what I right. Although I did give him 1 moment of peace. ;) Thanks again!

    dianethx - I noticed, god knows why. but I am grateful! You're the best and feel better! :D

    Hey CrystalKenobi you snuck right in there, didn't you! LOL. Anyway, yeah I tend to like my OC's mostly, but none has been more surprising than MysAri and Tuuvu. They've both become very strong in my stories, I'm just glad they are received so well by my readers. :) Thanks again!
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