Forsaken and Begotten[JA/AU] ~*~ Question for my Readers 10-22-03 Please respond. thnx ~*~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Arldetta, Nov 5, 2002.

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  1. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, folks here is that Promised Plot Bunny of Shanobi's that I said I would post today. I hope you enjoy it. This is going to be a bit different from what I usually write but, It will be similar to my more recent works.

    Title: Foresaken and Begotten

    Spoilers: No. Goes completely AU after page 46 in the first Jedi Apprentice book, The Rising Force, by Dave Wolverton. The only thing to keep in mind is that Qui-Gon does not go to Bandomeer as well.

    Disclaimer: Me own Star Wars, Ha!! I wish. Then I could have Obi when ever I wanted. ;) And how ever I wanted. [face_devil] And write him in a better light than the movies. Which really irks me. :mad: Anyway, hopefully you can tell the difference.

    Summary: Obi-Wan is sent to Bandomeer when he is not picked by a Master. On the way there, the ship is attacked by Pirates. And the AU commences. ;)

    Author's Note: <>'s mean thoughts, {} mental conversation.

    Well, here's the first bit. Hope you enjoy!! :D

    ---------------------------------------------

    Prologue ? Paths Not Taken


    ?We walked the narrow path,
    beneath the smoking skies.
    Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
    between darkness and light.?
    - It Can't Rain All The Time(Crow Soundtrack)


    There were times when the darkness was comforting and inviting. It?s only desire to envelop and take a person away from the pains and sorrows of the living world. Banishing worry to leave only a deep serenity. Why would anyone want to deny such a wonderful thing as darkness? The young boy thought. After all, what was there to live for when your dreams are all but shattered? And yet the grey haze that brought with it the grace of light and warmth and beauty crept into the edges of the void. And mentally, he had to suppress the shiver that ran through him, as the comforting rays of light drove out the cold that surrounded him. The intensity of the brightness grew, also bringing on the intense heat of his body. Progressively, Obi-Wan became aware of the fire that emanated from his wounded form. His hazy mind recalled the brief conversation he had with Clat?Ha and that he had been pounded by a Hutt from Offworld. <The fever was obviously a side effect from my injuries.>

    He prepared himself to sit up, but even those small movements caused him to wince at the pain. Pushing the pain aside, he centered his cloudy mind and called upon the Force to heal him. After some long minutes, he could feel the nagging aches dull to a throbbing discomfort. Gently, he pulled himself up to a sitting position and opened his eyes. Immediately, he shut them again as the harsh glare of the infirmary lights caused his eyes to dilate too quickly, inviting a new pain. Raising a hand to shield against them, he carefully, re-opened the captivating sea change orbs. Glancing around he took in his surroundings, and noticed he was alone. <I guess I?m not even that important to the people I was assigned to.>

    But that sarcastic thought brought with it agonies that quickly over took those of his physical body and stabbed right through his heart. He was heading to Bandomeer to become a Farmer. Not a glorious Jedi Knight, but a Jedi Agroculturalist, a failure. The realization made him nauseous, and he soon found himself lying back down on his medical bed. <I don?t care how selfish it sounds, but I don?t want to be a farmer!!> His mind cried out at the injustice he had been forced into. Fully succumbing to his misery and pain, he fell back into the abyss of darkness.

    The next time Obi-Wan emerged from the void, he knew he had been woken by something. At first he gathered his thoughts so as to figure out what could have pulled him from the abyss, when he was suddenly jerked in his bed. A loud boom could be heard and Obi-Wan knew instantly something was happening. Forcing his protesting limbs to move, he hurried as best he could to sit up. Another thud and he was almost thrown from his berth. Gripp
  2. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Yay, first reply! You posted the bunny here, finally! :D :D

    Don't worry about the sporadic posting, I'll wait for more. :)

    *waits for more*

    ;)
  3. obaona Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
  4. Ganki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    WOW that was great. i am yet again addicted to anouther fic.

    Hopeing for more and for it soon ^-^

    Again amazing post.

    UPPSIE!
  5. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Glad to see it here, Arldetta!

    :)
  6. Nikita Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2001
    star 3
    you can't leave it there!!!! Did Obi really die? he didn't... you wouldn't kill him off in the first post! I need more now please!

    GREAT JOB!

    ~*Nik*~
  7. Padawan_Travina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    WHOO!!! You posted....

    ABOUT TIME!!

    GOOD JOB!!

    **sits and waits for more**

    PT
  8. jacen200015 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
  9. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well, folks, it's possible that I might have more time on my hands than I thought. Lay-Offs are coming down the pike at my job, so we'll find out by Friday how much time I'll have to write. Afterall, it's obvious we aren't that busy anyway if I write at work. Anyway...

    Jedi Suzuran - Thanks!! We'll just have to see how things play out. ;)

    obaona - :)

    Ganki - Glad you're addicted. I will try to get you another post soon. :D

    Cas - Thanks. And glad to see you updated too!! :D :D

    Nik - Well, I would think it would be a very short story if I did. And since this is looking to be on the lines of a possible epic, I don't think so. ;)

    PT - :D

    jacen200015 - :)
  10. Nicky Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2002
    star 1
    OMG!!! :eek: You've got to post more soon!
  11. Sugar_Bear Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2001
    star 3

    Totally captivating premise!

    Dare I hope for an eventual reunion and some gut-churning Obi/Qui angst?

    Very nicely done!
  12. kikeriki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2002
    star 1
    He didn't really die, did he?
    DID HE????

    *mutters* You better not've killed my poor Obi! Not yet, anyway... But this is a wonderful piece of work, nevertheless! Can't wait for more!

    :D :D hint, hint...
  13. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    Wow this looks awesome! Just what I don't need- more fics to follow! Fantastic start Ari!
  14. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Oh no, another new promising fic to follow. Very interesting beginning, I look foward to seeing where you take this. :D
  15. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Whoooo!!!!!!!! Great story, Detta! Poor Obi. I felt so bad for him in JA 1. Hey, at least Qui recognizes his mistake, right?

    Know what? Your story just sparked an idea in me!!! YAY! *lol* ignore me.

    Can't wait for more!!!!
  16. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Well folks I am working on the next post, which is a bit of a long one. And I hope you will enjoy. I have been pouring myself into this one. But I am also still hoping to get those others done as well. ;)

    Nicky - very soon, either later today or tomorrow. ;)

    Sugar_Bear - Thank you. And dare to hope! Although it might now be what you expected. :)

    kikeriki - Kill Obi?? me?? I don't think I could do that, but then again it's always a possibility in AU. [face_devil] Glad you liked it. I think the next bit might be better, but that's up to you. ;)

    Wild Huntress - Thanks. And I know exactly what you mean. I'm trying to follow a bunch and work on the 5 that I am posting to myself. *argh* it's hard to keep up. But I hope to have another one for you guys here soon. :)

    Shiela - I hope you like this one. I have some plans and am enjoying the path I'm taking with it. I think it will be quite interesting. :)

    Jacinta - Let's hope Qui learns from it, eh? [face_devil] This fic I hink will tend to be a bit more on the mental angst side, but I hope it still gives you a good rush! ;) And this brilliant Idea must be attributed to the wonderful Shanobi. She posted on the PB thread and it just called to me. So I have to pick it up and care for it. *sigh*

    ::such a cute lil PB, wanna come home with me? gootchy-gootchy-coo. :D ::

    Oh well, the next one will be a good chapter I hope. Keep an eye out for it. ;)
  17. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Here is Chap 1. Enjoy!

    =============================================


    Chapter 1 ? Sister Moon, Don?t forget me.

    ?Why can?t the moon stay full forever?
    Right now she?s got nothing on her mind.

    Will this neverland
    Free me from its clutching hand
    It won?t release me.?
    - Full Forever (Goo Goo Dolls)


    Oceans of emotion gazed out upon the soft white powdery craters just beyond the portal. The scars of one pummeled constantly by asteroids. At that moment the youth could almost feel the celestial body?s pain from the abuse of space. In an odd way he felt a strange kinship to the moon they hid behind. Feeling exposed to the elements and retaining the scars of trust and hope being beaten and betrayed. His stomach lightened again, and the young man began to worry. He had often felt the butterflies of anticipation before a battle, but these were different. Almost as if they were trying to warn him of something but what ever it was remained just beyond his reach.

    He was trying to banish the sensation so it could not conflict with what was to come, but found it impossible. The gravity well created by the nearby moon was the perfect hiding place for the pirate vessel, as it waited poised to pounce on it?s next wayward victim. It was only a matter of time before their next quarry would be approaching and he sought desperately for the peace he needed. He had been standing there for hours deep in thought, still searching, when his friend finally entered the small observatory.

    ?Ready yourself, cub,? declared the grey and white Togorian captain of the Night?s Scream as he stopped just behind the youth. ?A ship has just been picked up on our long range sensors. We are preparing to knock it out of hyperspace in a few minutes.?

    Soft ginger bangs slid down over sad seas as the young adult looked down for a moment. ?You wouldn?t be able to stop this Tuuvu, would you? If I told you I have a bad feeling about this?? A gentle paw came to rest upon the young shoulder and the lad looked up at his friend. Tuuvu almost released his hold at the sorrow he saw in the turbulent seas, but remained in the hopes he could calm the storm.

    In most cases the Captain was eager to listen to the boy?s feelings, but when it came to the raids, he knew there was little he could do to prevent them. ?You know I would if I could. But there are others on this ship that would not be pleased with such a decision.? Nodding the youth accepted the elder being?s answer. He also knew of whom the captain spoke, Kuuur, the first mate of the crew. Patting the boy?s shoulder, the Togorian attempted to ease the tension. ?Besides, this is our last raid before we return to Togoria for the mating period. And then next month we will be celebrating your birthing day. You know Jorri has been planning the party for months now??

    Running a hand through the sweeping strands, he gave a wan smile and said, ?I know. I miss her too.?

    ?Come, cub. Our prey should be arriving any moment.? Giving a quick slap to the boy?s back, Tuuvu began to leave.

    Grinning widely the youth turned after him, ?When are you going to stop calling me cub? I?ll be 18 next month and for humans I?ll be considered an adult.? The duo walked out of the observation lounge to get to one of the boarding portals.

    ?But you will always be a cub to me.? Tuuvu wrapped his arm around the boy?s shoulders. ?I will try to do better, cu? Obi. I promise.? A paw came up to ruffle the boy?s hair.

    ?Do or do not, there is no try.? Laughed Obi-Wan, but it was short lived as the quote brought back too many painful memories. Suddenly, the feeling worsened. He didn?t know what caused him to dredge up those lessons. Having not thought of them for years, Obi-Wan pushed back down the hatred that threatened to overtake him. It would do him no good to enter a conflict while distracted by old demons. Refocusing his energy, he prepared himself for battle.

    *****

    The time had come, he knew, as he felt the ship being barraged by cannon fire. The s
  18. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Wow! I am speechless! If all of your posts are this beautifully written then I can certainly wait patiently (well almost) for them to come once a week.

    This is a very interesting story. I love the interaction between the pirates and Obi-Wan. And now he is stuck on the Jedi ship where surely he will be found out. And not only is he with Qui-Gon but Bant and Siri too. Poor thing is hurt and angry and depressed. I can't wait to see what happens next. :)
  19. Sugar_Bear Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2001
    star 3

    Marvelously enthralling plot development!

    Deeply sad how when released by his captors, the boy who dreamed of becoming a Jedi, but was bound for Agricorp had no where to go.

    Moving how Obi was befriended and adopted by a warm and caring Captain Tuuvu and eventually threw in his lot with the same motley crew of pirates who abducted him.

    Tragically ironic how during the raid on a Jedi ship, those who Obi once considered his family and friends now unknowingly looked upon him as a criminal.

    Splendidly done! Am eagerly awaiting Qui-Gon's stunned reaction to the revelation of who their pirate prisoner is.
  20. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    :eek:
    Wow! Lovely interaction between the pirates and Obi. Qui doesn't know who they have, none of them know.

    Ooh, can't wait when that happens. :D

    Can't wait for the next post. :D :D
  21. Ganki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    Looks like the Jedi picked up a lilttle treasure of there own. Can't wait to see the reactions of them when one of them remebers *hope Bant remembers first*

    I loved the post. Obi and pirates that is so cool ^_^ I oved it!

    Why not up this thing as well, UP!
  22. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    YAY!!! Obi is with Bant and Qui!!! YAY!!!!

    LOL. I like this story so much. And that's ok, Detta, I don't hafve to have torture if it's not planned for. I enjoy it, but I don't have to have it.
    Very nice. I love how the captain didn't want to leave him. It was so sweet!

    [face_smile] Well, I'm going to sit back and wait for more. See you at your next post!
  23. sabercrazy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ::dies::
  24. snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2000
    star 4
    Hey!
    This fic is awesome,.....great idea! Great writing!
    Hmmm...the Jedi are sure in for a surprise when they find out it's Obi....
  25. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Shiela - lol, I hope they are too. For some reason, I'm really putting my heart into this one. And I get frustrated when I can't find the words to write what I'm "feeling" down for this one. The next post I'm really struggling with where as the following is flowing like water. So cross your fingers that the rest are as good as you think these were. :)

    Sugar_Bear - Thank you very much. :) I'm really trying to develop the ability to convey feelings well, so I'm glad if you felt moved by some of the things I wrote. I hope the next chapter will be as emotional.

    Jedi_Suzuran - I think that the "re-uniting" will be a bit longer than I planned, but I hope you like what I came up with for the next post.

    Ganki - Obi-Wan, no matter how beat down, how "dark" or how "chosen" will always be our treasure. I just hope you like how the "re-union" goes. And I'm not sure if it will be exactly what everyone expects.

    Jaci - Don't worry, I think there will be a fair share of physical and mental anguish to appease even the hungriest of appitites. ;) Wish it could appease mine, but I never get a thrill from my own writing. bum.

    Sabercrazy - um, you ok? Someone call a paramedic! It's not good to kill members of OTA.

    **sirens in background close in.**

    **ambulence comes to scretching halt.**

    ** EMT-Obi steps out to give mouth to mouth**

    ::looks around, Did that work to revive Saber??::

    Snowbee-wan - Thank You!! [face_blush] I hope you like how it all turns out. :D
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