Forsaken and Begotten[JA/AU] ~*~ Question for my Readers 10-22-03 Please respond. thnx ~*~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Arldetta, Nov 5, 2002.

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  1. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Ohh... Arldetta- but what a way to start a story.

    Poor Obi-Wan! Caught among the ones that he has some sort of hatred towards. And with Qui-Gon on the ship none-the-less.

    I wonder how long it will take the sometimes slow Jedi to figure out who Obi-Wan is... (of course, Bant is on board- she has a tendency to be brighter than any of the masters... 8-}

    Excellent posts, and I can't wait for more (though I might not post... *grins* have to lurk for a while)

    Anyways, more when you can! :)
  2. Nikita Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2001
    star 3
    k that was absolutely wonderful. I feel awful that Obi had to ask his friend to leave him hurt and in the clutches of the "evil Jedi"... but we all know Qui is going to try and make up for all the hurt he caused our lovely little Obi.

    Now will Bant remember Obi? Cause Siri sure doesn't... though i'm sure she will soon... hehe

    so i'm sitting here patiently waiting for your next wonderful post!

    ~*Nik*~
  3. sabercrazy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    EMT-Obi??????????????

    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    ::shoots up::

    YUP THAT WORKED! I'M ALIVE!

    ::glances at EMT::

    No wait...I'm still dead...

    ::falls back to ground::
  4. kikeriki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2002
    star 1
    You do realize that this was quite an evil place to stop the post, don't you?

    *sighs* If only everyone weren't so wonderful at writing, I wouldn't be so hooked on these thousands of stories!

    Awesome post. Suspenseful. Touching. I WANT MORE! :D :D Please?
  5. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    You've gotten such a wonderful response to this awesome fic of your's Arldetta!

    I can only take the credit for planting the seed here, this bunny adopted you hook line and sinker. I think it new it would have a good home and be well taken care of :)

    I love what you've done so far. Your writing is beautiful and captivating. What more can we readers ask for than a well written fic with an excellent plot line? You've certainly given us both.

    Now, since I have had a sneak peek at what lies ahead [face_devil] I just have to tell all your loyal readers to hold on and enjoy the ride--it's going to be a good one :D

    So glad I could pop in here and see how the fic started off. As you know, due to other lifely responsibilities such as work--ugh! I don't make it here often. I will most likely continue to respond at that other site or by e-mail. I most certainly will stop by here whenever I get the chance though.

    Again, Great job! Can't wait for more.

    --Shan
  6. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    This is soooo good- when is more coming??? [face_begging]
  7. jacen200015 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
  8. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Sheleigh - Thank you. :D And that's ok, I'm into lurking right now myself. ;) And thanks for the help. I really appreciate it.

    Nikita - Thank you! :) I know, but will Obi accept Qui's attempts? As for Bant and Siri, you'll just have to wait and see. [face_devil] Hopefully not too much longer. ;)

    Sabercrazy - LOL. I don't think he'll fall for the possom routine. But good luck trying. :D

    kikeriki - Well, to be honest, I've been one who has always loved torturing good guys. So I figured it might be fun to torture good readers too, with cliffies. [face_devil] LOL, wonderful me. it isn't nice to lie, ya know. But I am glad you're enjoying. :D

    Shan - I would like to think so, but I guess I'm still insecure. *sigh* it's a curse I know, but one I have to live with. Anyway, thank you for the wonderful PB. If not for that, who knows how long it would have taken me to think up something similar. ;) I just hope it turns out to your liking. After all, this one is for you. :D Don't worry, I will be happy when ever you get a chance to drop by, on either site. Thanks again.

    Padawan Kitara - Soon, I should hope. maybe by tues day. We'll see. ;) And Thanks. :)

    Jacen200015 - :D

  9. Jedi_Borme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2000
    star 3
    This is a great story Arldetta. Can't wait to read more.
  10. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Jedi_Borme - Thank you. :D

    Well, here is chapter two. I hope you enjoy it. ;)

    ---------------------------------------------

    Chapter 2 - Only Pain Remains Standing

    ?Wish that I could cry
    Fall upon my knees
    Find a way to lie
    About a home I'll never see

    It may sound absurd: but don't be naive
    Even Heroes have the right to bleed
    I may be disturbed: but won't you concede
    Even Heroes have the right to dream
    It's not easy to be me?
    - Superman (Five for Fighting)


    Darkness could not retain her hold on her prize as Obi-Wan slowly regained consciousness. He was lying on something soft and comforting. Gradually, he became aware that the claxons surrounding him were not just in his head but the dying ship?s imminent death calls. Another jerk reminded him where he was and he quickly sat up, wincing at the agony in his side. He had also recalled what he had said to his captain, friend and guardian. And if he were to keep that promise he needed to survive the death throws of this ravaged vessel. Someone came up beside him, but he tried to ignore her as he gathered his strength to leave. ?Who are you? And how did you know my name??

    Shooting a glance toward Siri, he stated, ?I have to get to the bridge.? Forcing his protesting body to rise he headed out the door.

    Behind him he heard the Jedi Councilor instruct, ?Stay here and take care of the initiates, I?ll be back.? Adi swiftly followed the receding form, and came up beside him. Periodically his step would falter under the objection of his wound but he refused to allow weakness to claim him again. They made their way through the bucking ship, holding on to walls intermittently when the ship shook violently. The corridors were ominously empty which made their walk that much more oppressive and condemning. Despite her usual denouement, Adi could no longer stand the silence between them, ?We found your training saber. Where did you get it?? When she received no answer, she asked bluntly, ?Who are you??

    Hesitating for a moment, Obi-Wan glanced at her through his bangs, ?No one.? Relief washed through him as they reached the forward cabin. When they entered, they quickly swept the scene. The captain was struggling with the controls as the Jedi Master was attending to the co-pilot, who was lying on the floor. As soon as they entered Qui-Gon turned to greet them, a thread of shock wove through his features at the unwelcome visitor, but he dealt with it immediately.

    Walking past the kneeling Master, Obi-Wan headed for the vacant chair and surveyed the mess of controls in front of him. Automatically, he asked, ?Is there a habitable planet close enough for us to land??

    ?I?m heading for one now, but I?m not sure the ship will make it. Systems are failing all over and we?re down to the aft engines.? Called the frantic Captain.

    Assessing the alerts, Obi-Wan quickly ran through his options. Expertly adjusting the instrumentation he said, ?Give me the controls. I?ll get us down.? The captain looked at him incredulously, but noticed the set fortitude in the youthful features. Suddenly, the bulk of the ship responded to Obi-Wan?s directions. Transferring power from non-essential functions, Obi-Wan managed to salvage enough energy to boost power to the remaining engines and forward shields.

    Agony threatened to steal his consciousness, which he fought desperately to hold at bay. The black spots playing at the edge of his vision teased his weary mind, when he felt a surge in the Force behind him. At first he was unsure as to it?s purpose, but was surprised to find it fill him lovingly, pushing away the aches and darkness. With renewed intensity, he headed for the habitable planet the Captain had indicated as their destination. For a moment he paused in his action as he recognized the small moon orbiting the world they limped toward and in that moment he smiled before banishing the emotion.

    Qui-Gon had watched as the rogue entered into the forward cabin with his fellow Jedi. He had already
  11. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    I've been reading this at the other site, and I really love it! I especially liked your description of Obi-Wan's eyes in this chapter. And your wording is so enjoyable to read. Please keep writing! :)
  12. Sugar_Bear Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2001
    star 3

    Heart-stopping action as a gutsy and tenacious Obi successfully landed the ship.

    Heartbreakingly painful when the tempestuous pirate spewed his palpable feelings of bitterness and rejection.

    Qui-Gon appeared genuinely pleased at the rediscovery of the lost Jedi initiate, desperately seeking redemption for his past mistake. However, I'm betting Obi will be a hard sell to convince accepting an apprenticeship from the one who initially refused him.

    Terrific post, Arldetta! Wonderful epiphany when Qui ascertained who Obi was simply by gazing into those breathtaking cerulean eyes!
  13. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    it's late and I have to be up early, so I will just leave you with WOW
  14. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Excellent, excellent post, Arldetta.

    I found Adi's reaction to Obi interesting, as well as his response. Yup, it won't be easy for the Jedi to get back into Obi's good graces. :)
  15. kikeriki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2002
    star 1
    That was AWESOME!!!

    I'd expound more on the wonderfulness of this... but I'm late for school. Can't wait for more! Love pirate Obi!
  16. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Loving it, Arldetta!

    Obi-Wan is so cool. Literally- he's got himself completely under control. (well, mostly). A tad reckless though, landing a ship with life threatening injuries... but still completely Obi-ish.

    Can't wait for more! :)
  17. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Cas - And I really appreciate you stopping by both sites to let me know. I really, really do. :D I really liked describing Obi's eyes. I had great inspiration. My wallpaper at work has a really great shot of Ewan. *sigh* Which is where I got the mint green shirt. The background was a soft green and it brought out his eyes like you wouldn't believe. God, that shot is awesome. *sigh* Anyway, thanks for the compliment. I would like to think so, but sometimes I just don't know if it's anything better than garbage. OH well. Thanks again. :D

    Sugar_Bear - Thank You. [face_blush] I'm really glad you were able to feel all that. I have been trying to learn how to get emotions across better. I hope it's working. :) And thank you. Eyes are a powerful thing. They can reveal or hide so much. And since Qui already mentioned that he could not help seeing those sad eyes over and over in the prologue I knew that they would haunt him. And what you can't remove from your mind allows you to find it easier later. And that's what Qui did. He found what he only dared to dream. But I think you're right, Obi won't be so easy to cionvince to come back. We'll just see how their conversation goes. ;)

    Padawan Kitara - Thanks. :)

    Jedi)Suzuran - Thank You!! I hope that the reactions were at least true to character. I though Adi would remain composed from her experience within the Council. Where as Obi is in such a conflict of emotions that it's hard to keep thoughts in and not get upset when you have to face your pain.

    kikeriki - Wow, thanks. :D Hey, you can elaborate later. ;) I would really appreciate it if you did. :)

    Sheleigh - Well, it wouldn't be our Obi if he didn't put others first, right? Although he might be a bit selfish in the hopes of getting away from the Jedi as soon as possible. But he still saved everyone and wants to make sure there are no other threats. I think I just got an idea of more of the next chap. Thanks. :) Hopefully more up soon. ;)
  18. Jedi_Borme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2000
    star 3
    Loved it Arldetta.
    Poor Obi-Wan, the Jedi don't get what he's been through. Can't wait to read more.
  19. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Great post! The action sequence where Obi-Wan landed the ship was great. As was the moment of recognition for Qui-Gon and Bant.

    You have written it in such a way that I feel bad for all of them. Obi-Wan is protecting himself behind a gruff exterior so that he won't be hurt again. Qui-Gon immediately sees this as his second chance, but he is not realizing that Obi-Wan has 5 years of life standing between who he was and who he is now. Bant is hurt because he did not let her know he was alive. Could he have let her know and chose not to? That is the impression I got. Of course, he had found a life with the pirates and if he had let the Jedi know he was alive, he was probably worried they would "rescue" him and then send him off the AgriCorps anyway.

    I am enjoying what you are doing here. Also, I LOVE your long posts! Can't wait for more. :D
  20. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful job Arldetta. I really like the way you portray someone who was initially trained as a Jedi and put him into a very different life. You are doing a good job portraying both his feelings and those of his friends.

    Waiting for more

    :D The Wookiee
  21. sabercrazy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    I don't think he'll fall for the possom routine

    Then how about the direct approach?

    ::jumps in Obi's arms::

    This latest post totally blew me away and I think I sprained a knee on the landing. Carry me?
  22. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
  23. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    UP :D

    yeah, Saber he might go for that one..... but then again he may rush you off to the healers just to make sure you're OK [face_laugh]
  24. sabercrazy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 4
    but then again he may rush you off to the healers just to make sure you're OK

    ::considers::

    Nah...

    He's too nice to send me to the place he spent so much of his time and totally hates... :D ;)
  25. jacen200015 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
    *gives Obi a huge, warm, comforting hug.*
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