Forsaken and Begotten[JA/AU] ~*~ Question for my Readers 10-22-03 Please respond. thnx ~*~

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Arldetta, Nov 5, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Well, I'm here now, and I'm anxious to see how this continues. Just how far will Qui-Gon go to keep Obi-Wan from 'escaping' before he can try to make things right again? Not that I'm trying to give you ideas or anything, but will Qui-Gon have to chain him up and throw him in the brig? Or will he try to keep him asleep the whole time?

    Sounds like Tuuvu really does care for Obi-Wan and wants him back. I can see big problems ahead when he tries to take back his 'son' from the Jedi. I rather like him. If Obi-Wan were allowed to choose between the pirates and the Jedi, I'm not exactly sure whom I'd be rooting for, come to think of it. There'd be heartache no matter what he chose.

    I can't wait to see how you resolve this. :)
  2. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    ?I understand completely, Master. However, I was sent on this mission for a purpose and I believe that purpose now sleeps in that room,? the Knight pointed to the door they had exited from. ?I will accompany you to locate the Captain. And once we have learned what our current situation is, I will be coming back here. I assume full responsibility for our captive.?

    I just love Qui in this post :D Wow, did I just say that?? I must still have a touch of that stomach flu - - Force forbid, Arldetta you actually have me rooting for Qui in this one. Though Tuuvu's words were quite touching too. Oh, what a heartache this is going to be later. I love it :) You're doing such a great job!

    --Shan
  3. Nikita Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2001
    star 3
    Oooh, I don't know what to think! I like the way Tuuvu cares for Obi as a son, even though they are different spieces.

    But then, Qui needs Obi!

    Oh, i'll settle for a new post! hehe

    ~*Nikita*~
  4. Jedi_Borme Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2000
    star 3
    Arldetta that was a great post. Poor Tuuvu, he want to get back to his cub so bad, I just hope Qui-Gon and the Jedi don't hurt Obi in any way. Can't wait for more.
  5. PaddyJuan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2002
    star 4
    go get your cub, Tuuvu
  6. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    ***jumping and bouncing from sheer happiness**

    Wheeeeeeee, a serenade and a post!!! :D :D

    **raises hand**

    "I know, I know - you get the wookiee - a POST!" [face_laugh]

    Thank you Arldetta I LOVED my serenade [face_blush] Nobody has ever sung for me before [face_delighted]

    The post was fantastic! Qui's internal debate was beautifully written, sounded like a few debates I've had with myself. It was very believable. It is very nice to see that Obi has found a family that truly loves him and values him. It will be very difficult for Qui and the Jedi to compete with that.

    MORE!!!!!!!!!?

    :D The Wookiee
  7. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Jane Jinn - YEAH!! You're here. :) Qui is a negotiator and I would hope he would try a multitude of tactics before resorting to those kinds of measures, but we'll just have to wait and see. ;) Um, I have an idea but I don't know if it will be as clear cut as picking a side. Thanks. :D

    Shan - GO ahead and tell me the same thing fifty times if you want! ;) I'm always happy to read your reviews. :D Uh oh, I'm in trouble if I actually made you like Qui!!! What's your temprature? Maybe you are still sick. :p You know a little of my plans but wait until you see what I have cooked up while we get there. [face_devil]

    Nikita - Welcome! :) And decisions, decisions. I know this is going to be a toughy. Maybe you should just hold on(and me too. ;) ) until we get a little further along. Maybe things will get clearer by then. Thanks! :D

    Jedi_Borme - Yes, Tuuvu has become a good fatherly figure to our Obi and how can you not want to love and protect our lovely? Just cross your fingers that nothing happens to Obi before Tuuvu can get there. [face_devil]

    PaddyJuan - Ditto!! :D But I'm still on the fence too. Oh well, we'll have to wait and see.

    Flash - Wow, I'm so honoured to be the first to serenade you!! :D I'm glad you liked it. I just love that song. :) Anyway, a post you say? Well, I am working on the next one and hope to have it up by the end of the week if not sooner. So hold on tight. Thanks!
  8. Ewanfan51 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 2
    up,up and away, in my,,,,,, oh oh sorry.

  9. Padawan_Travina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    WHOO I loved it...


    Loved the Qui-Gon chat....made the man seemed nutter then he was...j/k..:)

    I know that poor Obi-Wan is not going to be happy when he wakes up....

    And what happens when the Pirates return for their missing Cub?

    Cant wait to read more...Please dont keep us waiting for to long...PLEASE?????????


    PT
  10. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    **gripping side of car tightly**

  11. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    EwanFan51 & Flash - Thanks for the up's. ;) :D

    PT - I like Qui's tet-a-tet too. :) As for the chaos when Tuuvu and crew get there? Well, you are just going to have to wait. [face_devil]



    ATTENTION:

    I would like to request my readers please visit this thread in the Writer's resource board. I think it will affect all of us and I thought we should all be aware of the coming changes. Thank you.

  12. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Wow- that little battle was certainly an eyeful. Thanks for the link. Since I'm not an author here, I usually don't visit that thread,and I chose not to put my two cents in tonight for the same reason. But I am concerned about the "slippery slope" of the definition of PG on this board.
  13. Tahiri Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2001
    star 4
    OMG that is SUCH a good story!! Amazing!! I was literally crying at more than one point! Please update soon! This is a great fic!! Please write more soon! (I've gotten repetitive -- no sleep, can you tell? :D )
  14. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Are you worried that the discussion will affect this story in particular, or just the boards in general?
  15. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    Padawan Kitara - Thanks for checking it out. So am I, which is why I want people to be aware of it. Without knowledge there is no power. Let's hope things work out.

    Tahiri - Wow, [face_blush] Thanks. I didn't mean to make people cry. But if you did, than all I can say is make sure you have tissues for later chapters. ;)

    Jane Jinn - Well, both really. As in my sig and obvious from my previous works, I'm one of those so-called-torture-fic writers. Like I had said, I'm not overly graphic but I do get my point across. I know it's something that readers like and if I am restricted I might have to take my stories elsewhere. Which would really, really, really, upset me. :( I enjoy this forum and it's ability for immediate feedback. I would hate to have to abandon my fics to this place. I had already planned to do an "edited" version of this story because of plans coming much later down the road, but now I'm fearing I'll have to edit even sooner just because of the new 'standards.' *sigh* But this would also crimp a number of other author's styles as well, and I think it would be a travisty for such a good group of authors to uproot themselves to find greener pastures. Thanks for checking it out. :)
  16. Padawan_Travina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    Arldetta,

    I know how you feel...I mean if you look at my stuff I do some damge to Obi and who ever else is in my story...

    To tell us we cant do that or what not to me is wrong and goes against our freedom of speech.

    I mean to them what is PG..like I said is it Disney or TV PG?

    Sigh...


    OK enough of that from me now..

    PT
  17. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    PT - I know exactly what you mean. ;) It's one of the reasons I wanted to bring it to our readers' attention. If we are to be restricted, what would I do with my stories? Should I have it set up like:

    type word, word, word. type word.

    Censored

    type word, word, word.

    Will that not destroy the flow of a story and leave readers feeling incomplete? That I know is not really the best way to explain it. But I am worried.

    Thanks for checking it out and giving your thoughts. :D I appreciate it.
  18. Padawan_Travina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    Arldetta...

    Anytime...I posted my thoughts over there as well...and I am still confused as to what they want...


    Sigh...maybe today we can get somekind of answer....

    BTW...you want some of TD..I have part of next chapter writien...

    PT
  19. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    PT - I hope so too. I keep putting my two cents and I don't know what will happen. If we can not find a common ground I fear many of us will find greener pastures. :( So sad.

    I mean, OTA would have to be dissolved here! [face_shocked] And that would crush me. :_| Let's cross our fingers shall we.
  20. Padawan_Travina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    Oh I know...


    As a matter of fact I am working on my own website so people will have a place to post..


    I mean I am not going to sit here and tell people what they want or dont want to put in their stories...Yes I will have a warning...but if you want to read it then read it...if not move along

    sigh...I hope this all works out soon


    PT
  21. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    I'm about to do something that I haven't done in a LONG time.

    Shameless UP!!


    **goes home to smack myself in the head**
  22. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    **gently grabs Arldetta's hand before she hits anything**

    Tut, tut, my dear... no author abuse allowed around the Wookiee... might set off the infamous temper :p :D

    Sends thread UP

    :D TW
  23. Arldetta Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 4
    well, for those that still might be interested, here's the next chapter.

    ---------------------------------------------

    Chapter 5: Crimson Wishes Grant Only Black Dreams

    ?Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
    For the break that will make it OK
    There's always some reason to feel not good enough
    And it's hard at the end of the day

    I need some distraction or a beautiful release
    Memories seep from my veins
    Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
    I'll find some peace tonight?
    ? Angel (Sara McLachlan ? City of Angels Soundtrack)


    Captain Lessik accessed the outside hatch and prepared for any surprises. Fortunately, only the tall meadow grass moved from a gentle breeze. Beyond the clearing, he noted that the forest was thick and dense. He motioned for some of his crew to exit, in order for them to begin their exterior examination of the damage. At that moment the rest of his crew was working on the internal problems while he took the rest out.

    Lessik followed his crew outside and kept himself alert for any danger. While watching his crew work, the Captain?s thoughts wondered. He recalled the entire incident that led them here. He remembered that the tall Jedi, Master Jinn, had been sent along to watch for the pirates. The board that controlled Galactic Transit Corp requested extra protection in the event they were raided, thus the Jedi had sent the Knight along.

    However, Lessik was unsure as to what the Knight would do, since the pirates were only glorified thieves. Once their ship had been attacked, the Knight advised that they act calmly. Jinn knew there were no valuables on board and thought that caution would guarantee safety for the passengers and crew. This tactic was working until the explosion.

    That event changed the course of both parties. For the pirates, it meant abandon ship and get away as quickly as possible. For his crew and passengers, it meant a fight for survival. What fascinated Lessik the most was the interaction between the Togorians and the human among them. The boy seemed young, but they obviously valued his opinion. Lessik also realized that the boy had known that there were Jedi, mostly, on board. This had peeked his curiosity, since it appeared that he knew that before the raid took place. At least, that was what he gathered from the boy?s words. The Togorian raiders all spoke in their native tongue so, Lessik had listened intently on the boy?s comments.

    Later, once the pirate vessel broke off, he was surprised to find the rogue on his bridge. And not just on his bridge but offering his help to land the craft. Lessik knew that without his co-pilot, Griven, to help, they would have a slim chance of surviving. He was further surprised when the pirate asked for the controls to land the ship, for the most part, by himself. Even as he thought about these events, Lessik was still not sure what prompted him to trust the rouge completely. But in all honesty, he was glad he did.

    Now, he pondered how the raider/hero was doing. He recalled the crimson colour of blood coating some of the controls and the faint, once they landed. The Jedi had said, ?Obi-Wan? when he looked upon the lad and Lessik wasn?t sure if that was the boy?s name or something else. But the tall Jedi stated that they would take care of their own and took the boy with him. For some reason he knew that the Jedi also included the rouge in question.

    In the mean time, he needed to take care of his crew and find out how extensive the damage was. He had four of his men with him and five working in the engineering room. Griven and his medic, Kohnwei, were in the infirmary. All of his men were accounted for and only Griven had been injured when the control panel exploded.

    Returning to his current situation, Lessik watched one of his lieutenants walk up. ?Captain, external damage report.?

    ?Yes, Mister Obser, go ahead.? The Captain straightened and prepared himself for the worst.

    ?The main starboard engine is beyond repair. The aft st
  24. Sugar_Bear Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2001
    star 3

    Excellent post, Arldetta! Descriptions of Obi-Wan's heartbreaking despair and self-loathing are overwhelming. So much grief, frustration and hopelessness well expressed through visceral emotional anguish and painful physical aggression.

    Tension and angst continue to build as Pirate Obi's anger and displeasure at Qui-Gon's imposed Force healing and sleep suggestion assure any sort of amiable relationship between the pair will not be easily established.

    Nice curt exchange with Siri highlighted by the young man unnerving the padawan with his admission of being tortured when first captured. Never were his feelings of life-altering abandonment and betrayal more keenly felt.

    I do so hope it's Bant who touched Obi on the shoulder at chapter's end.
  25. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Whoa! :eek: I loved the way you described Obi-Wan's desperate emotions there, as he tries to get rid of the pain.

    :eek: :eek:

    Excellent post, Arldetta, and I can't wait for more. :)
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.