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Saga Fortune Teller - Anakin vignette, Clone Wars

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Jun 9, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Title: Fortune Teller
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Anakin Skywalker, OC
    Time: Clone Wars
    Summary: Anakin is bored and finds a way to pass the time, with unexpected results.


    Fortune Teller




    The planet was dusty, not particularly beautiful, and had no advanced technology to speak of, but its position had made it vital to the Republic. Though small, the system was right in the middle of essential shipping lanes, routes by which the Republic Forces would receive their supplies. So it was that Anakin found himself trying to pass the time while his Master conducted negotiations on a larger, nearby planet.

    Anakin was, in Obi-Wan?s succinct words, to keep his eyes and ears open for signs of Separatists? sympathies, but remain unobtrusive. Such a mandate was, in Anakin?s eyes at least, sheer torture.

    He wanted to be out there doing something, not listening to marketplace gossip and waiting for something interesting to come his way. Anakin was used to making things happen, not watching them happen.

    Surging to his feet with a sigh, Anakin shrugged on a cloak. ?Why yes, Master, I love hanging out in the marketplace rather than actually fighting in the war,? he grumbled under his breath. ?I can?t imagine a better use of a Jedi?? He sneered a bit, wondering what his Master would think if he could hear him.

    His temper had become more and more frayed as he waited for word from his Master. Shoving a few credits into the pouch at his belt, Anakin pulled up the hood of his cloak and left the small room to which he had been confined for too many days.

    Though he was growing to abhor the sight of the small commercial area the planet boasted, at least it got him out of that room, he mused. He walked among them, hardly notable in his dark cloak and making sure to call no attention to himself. Obi-Wan had been most emphatic about that particular point, Anakin thought crossly.

    ?As if I would make a fuss,? he muttered indignantly to himself.

    He still had yet to explore all of the tiny shops that were scattered on the periphery of the area, and so today, simply to add a tiny bit of interest to his journey, he went past the center of the business district and toward the less populated section to the east.

    The clothing of the natives was noticeably less expensive in that area, a detail that any native of a less affluent world would have been quick to notice. And Anakin knew quite a bit about being poor, so he knew all the signs. The boots were a bit older and scuffed; the tunics showed signs of mending, the women looked a bit more careworn, usually with several slightly dusty children trailing behind them as they made their careful purchases.

    Anakin found himself relaxing in spite of his dislike for his duty, feeling more at home in this less prosperous area than he had in the more bustling center. He found a small cantina and decided to order some ale. Nothing like alcohol to loosen tongues, he decided. He was sure to find out what the people really thought about the Republic and the Separatists just by listening carefully. A drunk wasn?t likely to watch his or her words.

    The ale was cold, though not of very high quality, and Anakin sipped it gratefully, for the day was hot. He grew bored after a while, not much conversation was taking place since most of the patrons seemed to be more interested in the smashball game showing on the screen above the bar.

    Anakin found himself on the street once more, looking right and left and trying to decide if it was time to return to his room ? and staring at the walls for another few hours ? or walking around for a bit more.

    Something made him stare at a smaller street off to his left; it was hardly more than an alley and was littered with the refuse one expects in a small, struggling business district. With a shrug, he took off in that direction.

    The shops were smaller, dirtier, showing obvious signs of catering to the downtrodden. Flashing signs offered to loan credits, though Anakin knew well enough that the rates offe
     
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Anakin Anakin you should have listened to that woman.

    Great vignette as always with your stories. I loved to read it.=D==D=
     
  3. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Kessel Run Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2002
    Wow! I only have time for a quick comment, but I wanted to say that this was really powerful. You captured Anakin's thoughts and reactions perfectly. For a brief moment, I almost felt like I was Anakin, standing there in that woman's shop, feeling my world tipped on end by a total stranger. Great job! :)
     
  4. oqidaun

    oqidaun Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    I loved the detail that you put into this setting.
    The grittiness was fantastic. =D=

    Beautiful short piece.
     
  5. FitJedi

    FitJedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2006
    Absolutely well done yet again VaderLvr... pure magic. You really hit his insecurities and needs right on. Great job.
     
  6. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Very true and chilling.
     
  7. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Her age was undeterminable, though he estimated she was somewhat younger than Yoda.

    I would certainly hope so! :p

    It's too bad Anakin didn't listen to the wise fortune teller.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  8. Matt-Darklighter

    Matt-Darklighter Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 7, 2005
    kool post, is this a one shot post, cuz i hope theres more!

    Matt
     
  9. HandmaidenVeme

    HandmaidenVeme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2004
    ...so stubborn.

    Is there a PM list for this?
     
  10. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    earlybird-obi-wan Thank you! So glad you liked it. :)

    ViariSkywalker Now you're making me blush. [face_blush] But thank you! [:D]

    oqidaun I like gritty! :p

    FitJedi I like writing Anakin. He's a fascinating character with so many levels to explore.

    DarthIshtar Thanks!

    KELIA Well you know at that age you're either young (his age) or ancient. There's nothing in between! :D

    Matt-Darklighter Just a one shot! ;)

    HandmaidenVeme Sorry! That's all there is.



     
  11. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Wow, as always.

    Anakin paused for a moment and then his head bowed. ?Even then, I would keep her,? he said desperately and hurtled out into the sunlight.

    And in a nutshell, that is why he fell and took others with him.

     
  12. Rhodna

    Rhodna Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 28, 2006
    Right now, I'm torn between feeling sympathetic for Anakin and grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and giving him a vigorous shake for not listening! You managed to play perfectly on his fear, doubts and insecurities. The final line was the one that really got me:

    Anakin paused for a moment and then his head bowed. ?Even then, I would keep her,? he said desperately and hurtled out into the sunlight.

    Even in the bitter end, he would not let go of those he loves, even if it meant that only pain, death and destruction await them. This is just the reason why I so adore Anakin's character - even though sometimes I want to beat the nonsense out of him too - because he is an extremely complex, multi-faceted character, with so many layers to him and your stories have always managed to portray him in a very vivid manner to my eyes.
     
  13. Gina

    Gina Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    :eek: Wow! You've left me speechless, K. That was so incredibly eerie, especially Anakin's final response to her warnings. Masterfully done! =D=

     
  14. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Wow. That was powerful. I wonder if he'd only known then what would happen... Nah, he'd still have done what he did, believing that he would make it different, somehow, someway. Awesome, as I've come to expect from you.

    --later--
    6669 [face_devil]
     
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