Saga Fortune's Gate ... Brand new chapter posted 2/19/13!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by geo3, Jan 6, 2009.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. obsessedwithSW Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2005
    star 4
    Wait... the picture is shifting... re-forming like a kaleidoscope when the center moves...

    The center is...

    Moving. The center is...

    Near. The center is....

    ... here.

    The Force swirled with intent. The precise meaning of those charged currents remained to be discovered, but their direction became increasingly clear: it seemed as if everything was hurtling towards Tatooine.

    Towards me.

    Here I am, where I am supposed to be.

    ...
    ...

    Am I enough?


    You dont see Obi-Wan doing this much in the PT but more so Yoda.. maybe with Obi-Wan's reliquishing his tueluage of Anakin he felt the need to know for himself. THis gave me shivers I could really feel Obi-Wan's tension and intent.


    I liked the twist that Padme's handmaiden was once a rival in the elections rather than a handpicked friend it gives a different dynamic that what we usually see in the royal guard.

    More!
  2. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Yay, I'm glad to see you back and posting!!

    The Senate forces on Tatooine (placed by Palpatine, I'm sure) are worrysome, but i love Panaka and Typho's work. And go Anakin, keeping Dooku out of his business!! Hopefully Dooku'll have a nice long time to think thigns over.

    Great post!
  3. furrylittlebantha Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 2, 2005
    star 3
    I remember reading the first couple posts of this story when you began. I was very impressed, but shortly after drifted away from fan fiction. This afternoon I've read the whole story and loved it. What a deft, professional handling of an intriguing alternate universe concept. Your portrayal of Anakin is fantastic. It takes away the most annoying notes while preserving and sharpening the essential character, calling to mind Stover's work in the Revenge of the Sith novelization. I look forward very much to your next update.
  4. GunraysLawyer Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2003
    star 4
    Sorry, butthis needs to go up....
  5. geo3 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    What a sweet thing it is to return after such a long absence and find wonderful readers waiting for me! It?s inspiring. In fact, it?s SO inspiring that the new chapter is already with my beta, the estimable JediMasterRev!

    Yes, my Real Life is so generally annoying right now that I?ve learned to retreat into the story when I want to get out of Dodge, which lately is a lot of the time. It?s a perfect escape, really. Around my house, it?s called, ?Going to Tatooine.?

    ?Where?s Mom??

    ?She went to Tatooine.?

    Or,

    ?Is anybody home??

    ?Not me. I went to Tatooine.?

    ?Er... is there any dinner??

    (Distracted) ?There might be some blue milk in the fridge...?

    Oh, and another thing ? I didn?t even realize that the awards season is once again upon us until someone let me know that somebody out there ? several somebodies ? gave ?Fortune?s Gate? a bunch of noms! That is all KINDS of awesome, especially since I?ve been such a Bad Author and was AWOL for so many months. I do not deserve you.

    You guys are the best!

    If you have any favorite excerpts, now is the time to let me know. I?m a little stumped because the whole awards thing caught me completely by surprise. (And besides, I'm itching to plunge into Chapter 19 :D)

    ~

    OK, let?s move on to replies!

    GeneralKenobi7 Yay, you're back!!!

    Yes, I am!

    Lovely chapter - all strings are getting together now

    Thanks for still being here to read!

    GunraysLawyer I see a bit of rebellion among Sith...

    Absolutely! I always wondered why there was not more of it in canon. I mean, don?t they like turning on one another? Isn?t betrayal a dish best served cold? (Oh, wait ... wrong fandom :p)

    A Senator too cowed by perceived duty to put an insubordinant staffer in her place (and yes,even if correct in the small picture, she was insubordinant and rude)...

    Ah, yes, I thought you would react negatively to that! I?m sure your Kalindians would instantly strip Eirtaé of her duties, and then put Padmé out to pasture for incompetence in dealing with an underling.

    A covert military presence on Tatooine, and I'll admit that I need to reread to figure out if this is new and who they might be...

    These long gaps between posts are hard to navigate, for sure. Apologies. I have trouble remembering details in my own stories, and have to keep referring back.

    Finally, I see the blackheart at the center of it allmoving to provoke or eliminate a rival...

    One would expect nothing less of him.

    ?Blackheart.? I like that!

    Yet,I still can't tell if Anakin will end up as Anakin the Gray or if the black armor is in his future.

    Then I have done my job. :D

    In short, endlessly fascinating as always. Keep it up...

    You are most kind, and I definitely will!

    ratna Woohoo! She's back!!

    Hopefully for the duration...[face_blush]

    Before anything else, YAY and thanks to JediMasterRev for beta on the beach!! (Metaphorically speaking, if not literally)

    Thanks indeed!

    (1) I love the character of Dooku that you are showing us. He is no longer Palpatine's pawn and Anakin's training dummy. Well, I suppose he is still those things, but under your hand, he is so much more. He keeps surprising himself, even unsettling himself, and in doing so, he surprises us. Which way will he roll when the chips are down? As far as I can see, all bets are off. You are giving him a path obscure and lonely, and it is no less vital to the story than Anakin's.

    I am happy to give him such a path. I long wondered about him, about his reasons for becoming a Sith, and about the many incompatibilities between that life of subservience to Palpatine, and his previous life as a ?great? Jedi. I just couldn?t explain him away as a power-mad creature.

    This is such an art, to have the central characters with their trajectory, then echo them with the paths of the secondary characters: Anakin and Dooku, Padmé and Eirtaé. Like the resonance frequencies on a plucked string, they not only echo, but make t
  6. geo3 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    Here, for your reading entertainment, is another long chapter. I hope you enjoy!


    Chapter 18. Kingpin

    The fierce blue of the desert sky pressed down like a weight on the bright sands of the wastes. There was no respite from the searing heat of midday, not even in the illusive shadows cast by thesoaring dunes. Skin and lungs burned, even inside the covered and cooled speeder. Awake at last, Anakin emerged from his blanket coughing and soaked in sweat.

    ?Here. Drink this.? Remy passed over a flask.

    Anakin pressed it to his lips, and then coughed again, in surprise. ?It?s ice cold! How did you ...?

    ?Corellian freighter with a serious hyperdrive burnout. They were drifting in nearspace, signaling like crazy. We picked them up and brought them back for repairs. They left here a lot lighter. These flasks were part of their cargo.?

    ?You robbed them?? Precious drops of cold water fell on Anakin?s hand. He licked them off before they could evaporate, taking the sweat-salt in his stride.

    ?No.? Remy grinned. ?Just charged them the going rate for emergency repairs when there?s nobody else around for a couple of star systems or so.?

    Anakin took another long, deep drink before handing the flask back to Remy.

    ?That is so good.?

    ?Our water, Corellian cooler flask. It?s simple technology, but we?ve got nothing like that here.? He glanced at Anakin. ?People must live well in the Core.?

    ?You have no idea.? Anakin rubbed his eyes. ?Where are we??

    ?Not far from the ridge. I came around the long way. Seems we?re being followed, so I came through the wastes where there?s no hiding to flush ?em out.? He jerked a thumb backwards. ?They?re about half a league back.?

    Anakin twisted around to see. Remy turned the speeder?s nose sharply toward the nearest dune, heading straight up. From the top, the black dot of the other speeder was clearly visible.

    ?That speeder doesn?t have enough heat shielding. They must be miserable.?

    ?Baking.?

    Anakin sighed and settled back into his seat. ?Who would be so dumb??

    ?Offworlders.?

    Remy?s big speeder charged down the other side of the dune, passing briefly into shadow before returning to the searing light.

    ?Lot of traffic out this way lately,? Anakin observed.

    ?So I?ve noticed. And it all seems to be about you.?

    Anakin slid down in his seat, as if he could somehow make himself smaller. ?I don?t know why.?

    ?Maybe Kenobi does.?

    Anakin, of course, did not answer. He never answered when the topic of Kenobi came up. Remy stared straight out at the wastes, marking time, but his comment hung stubbornly between them, demanding further discussion. When the horizon ahead began to sprout teeth, indicating that the ridge was not far away and that he would not have Anakin?s undivided attention for very much longer, Remy began to talk. He didn?t often tell stories, so when he began to describe the Jedi Knight?s arrival on Tatooine and his many epic deeds, Anakin listened. He listened hard, only interrupting once.

    ?Popper and Lupie were at the MediCenter the whole time I was there? I didn?t know ...?

    ?Kit was probably there, too. He stays with Lupie. Popper?s ok, he?s about ready to go home, but Lupie?s still in bad shape. He?s one of the people waiting for a chance at that fancy medical equipment.? He glanced at Anakin. ?Right after your mother, of course.?

    A muscle in Anakin?s jaw twitched. ?All right. I?ll finish what I need to do there tonight.?

    ?When you?re up to it.? Satisfied that Anakin finally understood how important it was to everyone to have that facility up and working, Remy went on to describe the ?night of miracles? during which the MediCenter had been built, stinting nothing when it came to describing Kenobi?s role in it, his sacrifice, and his fall.

    ?Dax said he needed time and privacy to heal, so I took him to the cave. It was the least we could do for him.?

    The ridge had risen high in front of them during Remy?s tale; in place of bright sand, red and gray rock absorbed some of the sun?s glare. Anakin stared straight ahead. In the gentler lig
  7. GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2009
    star 4
    Uh-oh, that was a lot of tension...the situation doesn't seem entirely salvageable at the moment, I'm afraid.

    But I love Eirtae and Obi-Wan together (what a battle of wits!...and stubborness, which they both seem to have in an excessive amount:p).

    Keep updating! :)
  8. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    So, Obi-Wan's getting his Rhett Butler freak on with Eirtae. Gotta love that!

    The poor man is so hopelessly blocked with Anakin, it's painful to watch. I think it's all because of the history. I see Obi-Wan as a bridge of unhealed wounds on which Qui-Gon and Anakin meet, and Obi-Wan must bear the weight of all that passed between - the dreams broken, the love never spoken: Qui-Gon replacing him with another, and then dying, the Council rejecting Anakin and then sending him back to Tatooine, all the great vast vacuum where some sort of listening and acknowledging and reasons should have been given - to Anakin AND to Obi-Wan, but never were. No wonder he's blocked. If he let all that emotional energy flow, methinks a lot more than pots and pans would be exploding. Oh, but how I would love to see him hoist Anakin over his shoulder and say "Frankly, my boy, I don't give a damn." And then trudge out to the Wastes where they can have at with their lightsabers, until they both are exhausted enough speak and hear the truth.

    Anakin the crownless king. I won't pre-empt Laurethiel with the Tolkein quote, but you know what I am thinking. I would note that Padme, also, is a crownless queen. The Senate is not her true forum. The events that have transpired, indeed this story entire, is not about politics. I would hazard that it is not without purpose that she became so ill that she could not return to business as usual. Perhaps it is not even solely owing to the toxin that she ingested. Perhaps that poisoning was only an expedient of Fate to make manifest the secret, that her soul's rightful place and work are elsewhere ... Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Palpy!

    There are so many places this story can go from here, and it has EPIC written all over it. I am just shivering with anticipation!
  9. laurethiel1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2003
    star 4
    I'll briefly come out of my self-imposed silence (I'm in a full-immersion language school and am not really supposed to use another idiom than German right now), but I cannot help but oblige Ratna and come up with the aforementioned Tolkien quote, better known as the Riddle of Strider (that is, Aragorn):

    All that is gold does not glitter,
    Not all those who wander are lost;
    The old that is strong does not wither,
    Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

    From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
    A light from the shadows shall spring;
    Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
    The crownless again shall be king.


    My, oh, my, but Tolkien had a way with words...

    And the parallel with Padmé as a crownless Queen is most interesting indeed. Leave the Senate and its Politricks and take up again the mantel of Amazon Queen, Padmé. It suits you so much better.

    Cheers,

    Lauré :)
  10. Mr_Black Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    The intimacy crafted here is what I appreciate most. There are people here, living their lives, speaking in many forms, letting their laden silences boom and clang as the lines are carved between and among friends, enemies, and lovers (these three groups are a mere sampling, and do not mutually exclude each other; in fact, the way I've listed them could be seen as the sketched cartography of numerous character relationships).

    My biggest criticism of the SW movie myths is that I don't (or can't) see and feel people up there, and I can't shake the feeling that this is mostly by design. Larger than life storytelling surely has a place, but it feels especially empty if it doesn't seem as if people are living there.

    Put more succinctly, "I know" is my favorite quote in the entirety of Star Wars history. Hopefully, this gives you an idea of where I'm coming from.

    Epic has been mentioned by some to describe SW in general and this story in particular. I've studied my share, authored some, and wondered what it meant for someone or something to be epic. There are standards of form and function, coupled with antiseptic labels and theses I can bandy about. Recently--and I mean right this second--I've decided that for something to be epic, two iconic, probably opposing forces, need to clash heads. And I mean that literally: There must be an arching of the back, a sharp intake of breath as each combatant reinforces his or her mental, moral, and meaty decisiveness, resigns themselves to the loss of a few to several necessary neural highways, then lunges forward--exhaling with conviction, possibly through gritted teeth--and does their best to severely maim (at least) their sworn foe's critical thinking capacity. Think of it as a potential overcrowding of frontal lobes, except with sundry layers of viscera--skin, bone, blood--playing the spoiler. I like my definitions specific. We'll see if Fortune's Gate meets or exceeds my rubric. I'm very optimistic.

    Some specifics about the story, because that is why I'm here:

    The officious flirtation volleyed between Eirtae and Obi-Wan reminded me of a couple of octogenarians pleasantly sniping at one another whilst sitting side-by-side in favored, utterly personal, and doubtlessly hand-crafted rocking chairs. The wrinkle here, of course, is that each half of this coupling is in their twenties, which adds a very unusual layer over the entire romance. I'll be honest; it made me feel slightly oogy. On the other hand, I was grinning throughout their shared episode of pleasure-disguised-beneath-frowny-faces, so cheers to the (weird, weird, WEIRD) love birds.

    I find it interesting and not a little frustrating that you withhold nearly all the details regarding Shmi and Padme's discussions (see above, chiefly regarding humanity and intimacy surrounding and penetrating intergalactic shenanigans). In my opinion, the movies failed most deeply when rounding out who Anakin's mother and wife were/are, what they meant to him, and what they meant to each other. My imagination abates my burning curiosity, but the heat is still dangerous enough to cost one-and-a-half eyebrows. I guess wondering is never so very bad.

    A very well done chapter when all is said and done. It feels like everyone is taking a breath, while at the same time realizing the breaths they have yet to draw are viciously numbered.


    *****

    My, oh, my, but Tolkien had a way with words...

    "The ordinary of the second son. Mirror image. Gauche carbon. He lies in Woodlawn, whatever be left of the child with whom you shared your mother's belly. He neither spoke nor saw nor does he now. Perhaps his skull held seawater. Born dead and witless both or a terratoma grisly in form. No, for we were like to the last hair. I followed him into the world, me. A breech birth. Hind end fore in common with whales and bats, life forms meant for other mediums than the earth and having no affinity for it. And used to pray for his soul days past. Believing this ghastly circus reconvened elsewhere for alltime.
  11. laurethiel1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2003
    star 4
    As we're talking of the Epic genre as a mighty clash between two iconic forces, yet without that emptiness characterized by the absence of personal connections and emotions, here is yet another of my favourite passages from The Return of the King, which could also apply to Geo3's Anakin:

    Stern now was Eomer's mood, and his mind clear again. He let blow the horns that would rally all men to his banner that could come thither; for he fought to make a great shield-wall at the last, and stand, and fight there on foot till all fell, and do deeds of songs on the fields of Pelennor, though no man should be left in the West to remember the last King of the Mark. So he rode to a green hillock and there set his banner, and the White Horse ran rippling in the wind.

    Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising
    I came singing in the sun, sword unsheating.
    To hope's end I rode, and to heart's breaking:
    Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red nightfall!


    These staves he spoke, yet he laughed as he said them. For once more lust of battle was on him; and he was still unscathed, and he was young, and he was king: the lord of a fell people. And lo! even as he laughed at despair he looked out again on the black ships, and he lifted up his sword to defy them.


    Cheers,

    Lauré :)
  12. Mr_Black Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising
    I came singing in the sun, sword unsheating.
    To hope's end I rode, and to heart's breaking:
    Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red nightfall!

    These staves he spoke, yet he laughed as he said them. For once more lust of battle was on him; and he was still unscathed, and he was young, and he was king: the lord of a fell people.


    *****

    If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would he not have done so by now? Wolves cull themselves, man. What other creature could? And is the race of man not more predacious yet? The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day....The judge looked about him. He was sat before the fire naked save for his breeches and his hands rested palm down upon his knees. His eyes were empty slots. None among the company harbored any notion as to what this attitude implied, yet so like an icon was he in his sitting that they grew cautious and spoke with circumspection among themselves as if they would not waken something that had better been left sleeping.

    Blood Meridian, (1985)

    Preachers of like sentiment, and yet one is cast a hero. The other...:confused:

    Philosophy, meaning, conflict, oh my! How I do love a good story.
  13. zonzo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2007
    star 3
    Please put me on the PM list for this one =D=
  14. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    That reunion didnt go as planned. I still wonder if Dooku will do what he was ordered to do...
  15. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    I wonder if it even could be planned at all ...?
  16. laurethiel1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2003
    star 4
    In the words of Nathan Fillion:

    The secret of creating an epic hero is allowing the hero to fail. The age of the hero that's, "I know just who to call. He's the best man that ever lived." That era of hero is over. The Rambo that cannot fail. The super-invulnerable, can throw a knife at a hundred yards at a dead... We need a hero who's a real man who can actually fail. Indiana Jones was my first experience with that. There's a guy who got punched, and beat up and abused and bruised, and cut and stuck - and then wins in the end. That's the guy I like. And I think that's the secret to an epic hero.

    ( http://io9.com/5595975/nathan-fillion-explains-the-secret-of-creating-an-epic-hero )

    Cheers,

    Lauré :)
  17. Mr_Black Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    We need a hero who's a real man who can actually fail. Indiana Jones was my first experience with that. There's a guy who got punched, and beat up and abused and bruised, and cut and stuck - and then wins in the end. That's the guy I like. And I think that's the secret to an epic hero.

    My issue with Fillion's perspective is that he doesn't address failure, he addresses obstacles. What separates Henry Jones, Jr.'s Nazis from Rambo's small town cops, jungle guerrillas, or third-world slavers is that the Nazis were there to get in Indy's way. Rambo villains were waiting for Rambo to get to them, so he could spout a one-liner and then unzip them from thrapple to pelvis with a knife that would bring a tear to Crocodile Dundee's eye. So, I get where he's coming from in the divergence of hero types: Exhibit A is Indy, John McClane, Frodo, or even Wikus. Brand X is Rambo, the Terminator, or Chuck Norris. The dynamic he's expressing is the everyman vs. the killing machine.

    A hero doesn't fail in fiction. If a righteous man or woman with a good heart and a rousing speech celebrating tolerance and good-will toward men is struck down, they aren't the hero. They're motivational fodder designed to spur the would-be hero on to his or her heroic efforts. Speaking strictly in terms of character-types, The Hero is the person who cashes the inspirational check their mentor was waiting a lifetime to deposit. A Hero is defined and confirmed by his success, even more so if he had to wade through the entire Third Reich and Hitler's Grandma to find the Ark, then have the ingenious foresight to avert his gaze once the wrath of God is unleashed.

    In real life, heroes can emerge regardless of accomplishment, just so much as an attempt is made. There was a man who endeavored with all his heart and soul to fulfill a vision of peaceful kinship, but he is shot and killed, unable to successfully achieve his dream. Very few people now living would not call Martin Luther King, Jr. a hero.

    I referenced Blood Meridian because I believe it directly addresses what it means to fail, as a Hero, a man, and a Man. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll be brief; the heart of the story is the reveling endurance of evil. It's quite striking, and one of my very favorite stories, not least because I believe it makes one of the most daring casting choices I've ever read in making God a villain. And the villainy on display is not merely suggestive, or referential, but immediate and visceral, omnipresent as the clenched fist of indifferent slaughter.

    Anakin canonically fulfills the mandate of his Heroic type: he falls, but he doesn't fail. He suffers a delay, but he lately prevails as a confirmed redemptive force, succeeding in saving his son and himself from the electrified clutches of pure evil. He's the Buzzer Beater Hero, which I guess is a combo of Everyman and Killing Machine, where the former wins out at the last second. Whether he will or not in Fortune's Gate, we'll have to read and find out. Personally, I think failure in fiction can be just as inspirational as some of reality's most heroic attempts at ascension, and it's a pity that I can only refer to one crystalline example. That wasn't a hint, geo (yes it was).
  18. anakin_girl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2000
    star 6
    *pants*

    I...have...caught...up...

    And wow. Definitely see a little Sith rebellion, Sidious and Dooku both wanting Anakin for their own purposes, and the poor guy can't get any peace. (Nor can the Larses. :eek: ) And poor Obi-Wan. Anakin is right, he only knows how to follow orders...but that's how he was trained.

    I liked this line from several posts ago:

    Um, Anakin? He's a Sith, and I think that's kind of the point.
  19. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    I still think that Anakin wont be dogmatic as the jedi, but with his upbringing with his mother and a deeper set of core values he will avoid Sithly behavior too.
  20. geo3 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    OK. I KNOW that nearly half a year has passed since I last posted. In Board time, that's... like... decades. I've gone old and gray. So have you. What can I say? it was a rotten, uncreative six months. Real life ruled. I don't like real life, I decided. So I returned to fanfic and against all odds, finished Chapter 19. I don't know whether anyone is still out there reading, but one way or another, here it is - the next installment.

    The last time we left our heroes, a lot of people who should have known better had trekked through the desert to see Anakin upon his return from a very educational visit to Count Dooku, and Padme had proclaimed him to be the "King of Tatooine." The story resumes in the desert...



    Chapter 19. Sea of Lights



    There were so many lights. Too many.

    The hunter studied the disturbing picture in the desert below the ridge, fiercely gripping his gaffi stick.

    There were as many lights and vehicles as if one of the Others? foul villages was moving in its entirety across the desert.

    // Our desert ... in the night that belongs to us!

    They should be afraid of us, but they are not.//

    It wasn?t to be stomached.

    The hunter?s fists tightened on his stick. There were too many of them below to defeat, like at their great races and gatherings, but there were other ways to put fear into their limbs.

    He put down his stick and picked up his long-barreled cycler rifle, signaling those nearest him with a barely audible whistle, like a puff of wind. Even with the noise coming from below, he could hear the whisper echo all the way along the ridge as it passed from one to the next. They were an unusually large hunting party this night. The Elders must have known something of this, as they so often did in these new, disturbing times.

    //The night is ours. Now and always. What is taken from us, we will take back.//

    He raised the rifle to his shoulder and fired. Other shots followed in rapid succession, like the sound of bones snapping when you bent a womp rat?s spine back over your knee. He waited for the certain result: after a moment?s silence below, the noise would begin ... shouts ... screams... perhaps the sudden roar of engines. The clustered lights would separate and move about wildly, creating better targets, and he and his band would fire again, and again, and again...

    That was not what happened. Not even the moment of surprise.

    Before the last few shots rang out, the night sky between hunter and prey was alight with the red streaks of returned fire. The hunter and his brethren didn?t flinch; their long-nosed rifles had a greater range than the weapons the enemy called blasters. But they paused fractionally, wondering why the group below did not scream, or fall, or scatter. Why the engines shut down suddenly, leaving only the sound of voices calling out in short barks. Why the strangers behaved as if they had known the hunters were there...?

    They should not have paused.

    The hunter swung his rifle back to his shoulder, carefully targeting the edges of the huddled group below, to the glow of more blaster fire --- brighter, too close!!! --- and the sounds of muffled yelps and the thud of falling bodies nearby along the ridge.

    //Impossible. They cannot shoot that far!//

    A strange light caught his eye in the melee below ? blue, and long, like a stick. It stood out. Wherever the light went, the red streaks from the blasters seemed to bend and go higher and further, reaching all the way up to the ridge. He aimed for the streaking blue light: a difficult shot, but not impossible.

    A careful breath. Exactly the right wind. He fired. He did not miss.

    The last thing the hunter ever saw was nothing ? not even a flash of red ? as his own projectile returned to tear open his heart.


    ~

    ?My Lady, are you all right?? Danil Panaka?s breathless question came from somewhere behind Padmé. With relief, she leaned back the high seat and holstered her weapon with, it has to be said, a little flourish. Anakin?s big old transport had served as a fine shield for her and quit
  21. anakin_girl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2000
    star 6
    Good to see you back, and great chapter. :)

    Love the way Anakin handled Padme's guards. Also love Anakin taking Padme's hand and helping her Force-leap.

    So Anakin has told Padme about Dooku; good that he has told someone what Dooku really is. And the line about him being that powerful because he doesn't recognize limitations is spot-on. And dangerous.

    Tatooine blockaded. Not good. [face_worried]

    Well done my friend. =D=
  22. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    Wonderful to see this updated. I really enjoy this AU. I think you have kept the maturity and level head on Anakin that he had by growing up with family and as a leader.
  23. darth_treyvah Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 26, 2005
    star 3
    I am definitely still reading this and I am very glad to see an update. Now I wonder what Dooku left Anakin ...
  24. laurethiel1138 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 6, 2003
    star 4
    Hurrah! The Geo is back!

    Glad to see you're still posting, dear, and with, shall we say, a very intriguing chapter which gives us more questions than answers. Notwithstanding, I really appreciated the Anakin-Padmé moments, as well as the interactions between Obi-Wan And Eirtaé. Count on me to read on. Oh, and if you still do PMs, please notify me when you post.

    More comments to come when time allows.

    Cheers,

    Lauré :)
  25. EGKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Great update!

    Can I stay on the PM list pretty please?

    Can't wait to see what Anakin's going to do next. :)

    EG
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