Saga Fortune's Gate ... Brand new chapter posted 2/19/13!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by geo3, Jan 6, 2009.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. GunraysLawyer Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2003
    star 4
    Another quick, 1920s style tommy-gun laced drive-by ( ;) )


    1) Wow, somebody has had experience watching the behavior of groups of young Dobermans...er, Sorry, men.

    2)Dooku's reflection is interesting, I wait to see where you take it. I once visualized Dooku as a half-broken disappointed crusader. He fought monsters, and became one. Eww, Nietzsche again. I doubt this is where you're going,

    3) and Ratna gives us another deep reflection on your work, though, I find myself more troubled by this than the other. When I can put my finger on why, I'll post more...
  2. Mr_Black Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    First, before you read the statements below, know that it is not, to my knowledge, "Be Contrary to ratna Day," and even if it was, I wouldn't participate in the proceedings, because I'm not much of a joiner. Also, I find ratna's views on the story engaging and provocative enough to enter into a dialog about them. I urge what I've written, then, to be taken in the spirit of mature debate, instead of perceiving my responses to her responses as the metaphorical equivalent of stealing her lunch money at recess.

    'elaborate clockwork' is precisely our own culture's modern view of what the universe is .... I wonder what that says about us?

    It says the particular point of view you mentioned is less concerned with what the universe is than with what it can be distilled down to. This conception of the universe uses mathematics as the canvas to paint the rigidly delineated shapes and colors of creation. I believe the essence of math in theory and in practice is to take something large and complicated and reduce it, simplify it, and render it according to an absolute scale of exactly defined result.

    I believe using math as the scale to weigh the implications of the universe is not only flawed, but utterly contradictory to another modern consensus about the universe; that it is both naturally infinite, and still expanding.

    What this says to me is human conceptions of precision (of formation and execution) and purpose (mechanism and utility)--both of which are elements central to the theory behind the clockwork metaphor--have no place when considering or debating the universe.

    Ultimately, I think the universe is beyond our understanding. I am enlivened by that belief because I am an artist; mystery, curiosity, and fantasy are alchemically bound in me. Many people are, conversely, frightened by that prospect. This fear of either not knowing something or conceding it to be unknowable drives them to mash the universe into the boundaries of particular formats, equations, and systems, draw a dark straight line at the bottom of that anthology of information, and beneath this line, declare a simple, direct, absolute answer that they can circle three times. This circled answer will then, with an incongruently dramatic flourish, be stabbed with the point of a pen as a voice, heavy with relief and exhaustion, declares, "I have, as you can plainly see, figured out the universe."

    Also, if I may quibble with you; the clockwork theory isn't the modern view on the universe, but one of many, which are often contradictory and wonderfully far-flung.

    A heart and soul that is clockwork -- wow, what a rich and deep and iconic oxymoron.

    The heart is based on rhythm, timing, and recycling. I think this true both in considering the heart as a physical, muscular object and as a symbolic emotional engine combusting or fueling our life experiences and memories, depending on how fortunate we are in the loves we have, or at one time had, but lost track of. The poetry in the image of hearty clockwork, then, (at least in my eyes) is less cold, flat, and self-denying than it initially appears.

    A soul can be argued toward operating according to a kind of clockwork. There may yet be an etheral, invincible part of us that is--without our conscious knowledge--counting down the seconds until our meaty shrink wrap rots away and it can fully stretch its legs after a lifetime of surly backseat driving.

    Again, just so we're clear, ratna; I'm not challenging what you're thinking and writing because I think you are a baseball and I am a bat. I'm responding to you because what you have to say in the first place is interesting and intense enough to compel me to respond in the first place, and by doing so, hopefully, to spur the same feeling in return. It just so happens that, these particular topics find us in disagreement.

    Oh, and I think there's some sort of story in the middle of this muddle being alluded to and expanded upon. I'll get to it, eventually. Promise! ;)
  3. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    Good post, great discussion on the side too.... interesting inputs from other readers. My comments arent nearly so articulate.

    The painting of Dooku on his luxury cruiser was well done.

  4. DarthBreezy Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2002
    star 6
    Something to ponder, as we speak of clockwork...

    Ahhh, arrogance...

    And here...

    Pot, meet Kettle...

    Droid-like...


    There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.



    Someones' been present at a **** swinging party! [face_laugh]
  5. NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Sorry I've missed three excellent chapters [face_blush] And they were excellent. I like the insight into Padme and her feelings toward the Jedi. I'm glad that she and Obi-Wan are being friendly, and feel bad for him since he's in such pain still over losing Anakin. Interesting twist that the Council had visions (I assume of what actually happens in the movies).

    I hope the woman - I assume a handmaiden or former handmaiden - finds Anakin.
  6. geo3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    Once again, thanks to all for your very kind comments!

    GeneralKenobi7 [First reply! ? Mmmh, I wonder what Dooku is up to...

    Dark deeds, no doubt... :p

    And Anakin falls in love with Padme in this story, too, judging by the type of woman he looks at

    Well, I used AOTC for my starting point, and even though Anakin is not a Jedi in this story, I didn't see any reason not to believe that he had thought about her every day for ten years back on Tatooine, too...

    I hope he'll meet Obi-Wan eventually[/i ]

    I can safely say that he will... eventually!

    ratna A heart and soul that is clockwork -- wow, what a rich and deep and iconic oxymoron.

    ;)

    Certainly it riffs on Anakin in the suit (though I doubt that he is headed there in this story).

    No suit. I promise!

    More centrally, how perfectly it sums up the Life-denying, Force-denying nature of the the Sith will to power; which relegates all entities beyond the self to the status of object ~ 'a dead thing you can claim'. And yet, methinks this vast mecha clockwork that Dooku has labored and brought into being is not half so horrifying as the 'wet' clockwork of the Clone Army; with which Palpatine is planning to (eventually) replace the droids (and Dooku, one presumes).

    I never could quite get my head around the Dooku of the films ? hereditary aristocrat, distinguished former Jedi, political philosopher and idealist, willingly become Sith Lord lackey and raiser of droid and ?wet clockwork? (what a description!) armies for the purpose of subjugating the Galaxy. I still can't. I think that's why I'm trying my had at writing him ? to try to figure it out.

    And is not this final solution -- the conversion of living beings into cogs in a machine -- a perfect embodiment of the reflection back onto the soul of the clockwork projection? The final rebound of the karma of objectification, one becomes what one has projected: the self's own heart and soul become a clockwork, in dead and sterile and lonesome sovereignty.

    Loneliness must be, I think, a key result of this kind of twisted grasp for power. It's almost a cliché ? but I don't think that makes it less true.

    Final sidebar to this train of thought: 'elaborate clockwork' is precisely our own culture's modern view of what the universe is .... I wonder what that says about us?

    It seems you've inspired at least one challenge with this sidebar... :p

    I love your characterization of Dooku.

    Thanks, but it's early days yet. He is still fleshing out chapter by chapter.

    He is engaged in a soul-denying enterprise, and ye/t his senses are attuned to the utter, receptive stillness of deep spiritual practice.
    He is curious.
    He possesses a fine sense of the absurd.
    He is superior and makes no apology for it, yet at this key juncture, he chooses to get his hands dirty.


    So far...yes! [face_laugh] Let's see what else we discover about him as we go along...

    What a complex foil he will be for Anakin. I CAN'T WAIT!!

    And perhaps also, Anakin for him...?

    Anakin's posse -- wow, gotta love those rough hewn men. You draw their characters so well, too. The salt of the earth. The stalwarts. *sigh*

    Knights of another stripe... ;)

    ?Damn,? Remy muttered. I would like to see lots and lots of this guy in the story, please.

    [face_laugh] I will do my best!

    amidalachick Great introduction to Dooku.

    Thanks! :D

    And loved the cantina scene, and Anakin's posse! Like ratna said, they're so well-drawn and just really come to life.

    I'm so glad!

    Another wonderful post!

    Thanks so much for reading!

    GunraysLawyer Another quick, 1920s style tommy-gun laced drive-by ( )

    ?.with fedora tipped rakishly over one eye, I hope...

    1) Wow, somebody has had experience watching the behavior of groups of young Dobermans...er, Sorry, men.

    Oh, yes. Yes, I have.

    2)Dooku's reflection is interesting, I wait to see where you take it. I once visualized Dook
  7. Mr_Black Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    Sometimes--but not often--promises are easy to keep.

    the luxury starship Serena hurtled toward the Outer Rim...she was unusual among private vessels in that she was entirely staffed and operated by droids.


    Conversely named vessel, given the state of its single living occupant. The supremacist bent of Dooku's character (i.e. his ethnocentrism and misogyny, moreso than his base arrogance and narcissism) always led me to believe he would prefer to think of his warcraft in masculine terms, like the Nazis with the Bismark. By the way, I didn't glean through Lee's on-screen portrayal that Dooku was racist or sexist; I learned it either through an interview or a novelization I never finished reading. In a way, those aspects of his character come across as nonsense, given he was Yoda's apprentice. If any Padawan was saturated with the merits of tolerance, understanding, and equanimity, it was the frog-troll's. Yet, he strayed from Yoda, so the lessons having never quite sunk in seems believable. However, besides himself and Palpatine, the primary supporters of the confederacy are non-human species (according to the films, anyway), whom he would have to interface with and placate incessantly as the figurehead of the Separatists. Maybe the droid legions are a racist response to his being forced to deal with aliens all the time--or anyone at all who could disagree with or defeat him. Even so, he's a man who thrives on reaffirming his status through being victorious in conflict.

    [face_thinking] I suppose you could argue Dooku's wrists and the ankles are taut, but they are being pulled in opposite directions by contrasting levers of philosophy and activity.

    Wieeder...had taken it upon himself to send Dooku a personal message from a planet called Tatooine

    Did Episode I happen in this AU? I'm chiefly referring to Anakin being perceived as a conduit of prophecy, rather than simply an unusually powerful, thoroughly unstable individual. If The Chosen One is in play in your story, wouldn't Dooku know of the prophecy, and more specifically, its connection to Anakin, given both the latter and the former's intimate connection with Qui-Gonn? I figured Dooku sent Wieeder to Tattooine for the express purpose of baiting and snaring Anakin, under the guise of being a recruiter for the confederacy. Because if Dooku is aware of the prophecy, he would be aware of Anakin, making him familiar with where the boy is, what he's up to, and perhaps most crucially, the extent of Anakin's current rift with the Jedi.

    his ?posse,? as they thought of themselves collectively; outsiders called them his ?gang?

    You did a very nice job with the portrayal of these particular characters. Their banter and behavior has a very engaging insider/outsider quality to it; the way I read these interactions was, on one level, as a mixed/extended family concerned about and for its main source of personal, moral, and cultural support. On another level, the scene comes off almost like a board meeting. Anakin is the meal ticket and the shield for most of these men. I get the sense that, since they know he's leaving, everything they've collectively worked for is in Peril.

    ?Has he ever had a girl??

    I'm all for some past/future competition for Padme. *hoists his lighter, rocks back and forth* Don't know what'cha got, 'til it's gone!(pronouced: gawooawn) :cool:

    When Criff the bartender brought over the round of drinks, it was to an unusually silent table.

    Only experience teaches how emphatic and exclamatory the silences punctuating Guy Talk can be. For illustrative purposes, I refer to an anecdote from the school cafeteria when I was thirteen. One of my friends had, during the prior evening, clandestinely viewed Total Recall: a sorely underrated Ah-nold Classic. He sat at the table, eyes huge, speaking of a particular woman who had three of something all women had, up until that point, only a pair of. Once he had finished setting the scene, the silence was massive and voluminou
  8. ratna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Pop goes the weasel...

    "Your love of discourse, dear Black, is superhuman, simply marvellous, and I do not believe that there is any one of your contemporaries who has either made or in one way or another has compelled others to make an equal number of speeches. I would except Simmias the Theban, but all the rest are far behind you. And now, I do verily believe that you have been the cause of another."

    Alas, I fear you do great injustice to Mathematics, she by whose guidance our inner eye may have vision of the Symmetries of Time and Space and Matter and Energy and all their processes, and our ears hear Echo of the Music of the Spheres. As you have so aptly revealed the intersection between the heart ? both physical and spiritual ? and the working of clocks; that intersection being rhythm, timing, and recycling; I am taken aback that you would exclude Mathematics from this alchemy of wonder. For is it not Mathematics herself who unfolds to us the inner rhythms of those cycles?

    Be that as it may, I am delighted by the parallel you have drawn between soul and clockwork. I stand not only corrected, but henceforth enriched by your perspective.

    To reframe more clearly what I attempted to say in my previous post, I intended the word ?clockwork? to specifically denote dead artifice, lifeless mechanisms of ?rigidly delineated?, ?formats, equations, and systems?, and having no element of growth, evolution or transformation. If I understand correctly from your post that you consider the rigid formats to be the antithesis of soul ? be it in the contemplation of the Universe or in the guidance of human action ? then it may be that we are far more in agreement than discord. Certainly it is proved how difficult it is to discourse together without consensus beforehand on the definitions of key terms.

    You have intimated that the Universe may be beyond human understanding. Interestingly, I had raised a similar question to GunraysLawyer in PM. I wonder if he may be tempted to join the fray ? er, Symposium? You consider the artist?s ecstatic vision vs. the rigidly bounded anthology of calculated information as two very different ways of knowing. (Third, fourth and nth ways of knowing are all open to exploration, by any who may trace their shape ...) I myself have wondered whether the Jedi way of knowing may not have been at odds with the ways of knowing understood and accepted by non-Jedi (or rather, any not touched by the Force) and whether this may not have been an important source of conflict between the Jedi's value system and that of the laity. Indeed, Dooku is a fascinating character in part because he partakes of both the calculated and the ecstatic (intuitive) ways of knowing. (Just trying to connect all of this back to the story, however tenuously!) Any takers?

    Lastly, I wish to bow to DarthBreezy for her inspired reference to Clockwork Orange ? another iconic exploration of life vs mecha, and the meaning of choice.

    And is not our [Star Wars] history, my brothers, the story of brave malenky selves fighting these big machines?



  9. Mr_Black Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    Speak her name (or do something similar through a keyboard) and she appears. Ominous!

    Alas, I fear you do great injustice to Mathematics

    Ha! Have you seen Justice? Posing blindfolded with empty scales, she's like some post-modern commentary on the common beggar. Anyway, I still maintain Math is primarily concerned with folding the universe and not unfolding it (to echo your parlance). I believe Math is a linguistic expression of reduction and distillation. Even when concerned with addition, a certain point is reached where the result is expressed in abbreviated notation (decimals, fractions). Multiplication, addition's bigger brother with a chip on his shoulder and everything to prove, is hamstrung by exponents. Moving to conceptual, theoretical--dare I say--artisitic math, we see energy, that most hauntingly abstract and omnipresent factor in creation and destruction, expressed in three letters, one (tiny) number, and a few curious slashes I'll diplomatically categorize as Other.

    Mr_Black: 10, ratna: 8 :p

    I stand not only corrected, but henceforth enriched by your perspective.

    Ah, I see we're supposed to be dignified. Pardon me while I promptly ditch the scoreboard and immediately cease my Touchdown dance.

    I myself have wondered whether the Jedi way of knowing may not have been at odds with the ways of knowing understood and accepted by non-Jedi (or rather, any not touched by the Force) and whether this may not have been an important source of conflict between the Jedi's value system and that of the laity.

    Certainly there is a contest there. The most popular example in Star Wars is probably between Han and Obi-wan. Slighter examples include the skepticism of Imperial Officers in response to Vader's mystic aphorisms (until their disbelief is checked by prompt strangulation).

    I would argue, however, that the most enduring conflict between the Jedi systems of belief and knowledge and those of the layman is expressed in Anakin's relationship to the Jedi. He's the slave who is the son of a slave, and most likely had no awareness of formal educational, societal, recreational, or theological institutions until the first decade of his life was nearly over. When he was included in these figurative and literal structures of knowledge, he was singled out in a negative, dangerous fashion, and generally antagonized. His slave heritage gave him an embedded, enduring disbelief in the core Jedi principles of tolerance, moderation, knowledge, peace and justice.

    I believe no one was as "touched by the Force" as he (and not because of some handy-dandy gizmo telling me he had a higher power level than those who bought and trusted Brand X). As the direct spawn of the Force, Anakin realistically is the Force in a much more potent embodiment than the average Jedi or layman. Yes, I know George's story says the Force surrounds and binds all together, so in a way, everyone is the Force. With Anakin, however, the distinction between simply existing in the Force and substantially living in the Force is made obvious.

    Weighed down with his memories and experiences as a slave--epitome of the layman-- Anakin is at odds with Jedi beliefs and methods of knowledge more directly and immediately than anyone. This is explicitly true pertaining to geo's story, since he was flat-out rejected by them in this version. He was given a glimpse of freedom only to be tossed back in the cage when he became an inconveniance to their traditions and expectations.

    o_O So, was it fun riding the bomb on the way down? Thank goodness I found a sturdy park bench, which I used to duck and cover.

  10. geo3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    Mr_BlackConversely named vessel, given the state of its single living occupant. The supremacist bent of Dooku's character (i.e. his ethnocentrism and misogyny, moreso than his base arrogance and narcissism) always led me to believe he would prefer to think of his warcraft in masculine terms, like the Nazis with the Bismark.

    Possibly, yes. But this is his home. Perhaps there is another side to him?

    By the way, I didn't glean through Lee's on-screen portrayal that Dooku was racist or sexist; I learned it either through an interview or a novelization I never finished reading.

    Ah, well. There are as many views as there are stories, I suppose.

    In a way, those aspects of his character come across as nonsense, given he was Yoda's apprentice. If any Padawan was saturated with the merits of tolerance, understanding, and equanimity, it was the frog-troll's. Yet, he strayed from Yoda, so the lessons having never quite sunk in seems believable.

    Not nonsense in the universe of the films, which would have us believe that conversion to Sith-ness is a cup of selectively-acting hemlock that wipes out every philospophy, every value that has been operative before. Maybe it makes the midichlorians instantly mutate or something. [eyeroll] In the more leisurely universe of fanfic, opportunities arise to re-think the process and its outcomes...

    However, besides himself and Palpatine, the primary supporters of the confederacy are non-human species (according to the films, anyway), whom he would have to interface with and placate incessantly as the figurehead of the Separatists. Maybe the droid legions are a racist response to his being forced to deal with aliens all the time--or anyone at all who could disagree with or defeat him.

    Quite possibly. The Empire, as shown in the OT, sure looked racist to me.

    Even so, he's a man who thrives on reaffirming his status through being victorious in conflict.

    I?d agree with that.

    I suppose you could argue Dooku's wrists and the ankles are taut, but they are being pulled in opposite directions by contrasting levers of philosophy and activity.

    Lets!

    Did Episode I happen in this AU? I'm chiefly referring to Anakin being perceived as a conduit of prophecy, rather than simply an unusually powerful, thoroughly unstable individual. If The Chosen One is in play in your story, wouldn't Dooku know of the prophecy, and more specifically, its connection to Anakin, given both the latter and the former's intimate connection with Qui-Gonn? I figured Dooku sent Wieeder to Tattooine for the express purpose of baiting and snaring Anakin, under the guise of being a recruiter for the confederacy. Because if Dooku is aware of the prophecy, he would be aware of Anakin, making him familiar with where the boy is, what he's up to, and perhaps most crucially, the extent of Anakin's current rift with the Jedi.

    Um... I?m not prepared to say yet. Sorry!

    You did a very nice job with the portrayal of these particular characters. Their banter and behavior has a very engaging insider/outsider quality to it; the way I read these interactions was, on one level, as a mixed/extended family concerned about and for its main source of personal, moral, and cultural support. On another level, the scene comes off almost like a board meeting. Anakin is the meal ticket and the shield for most of these men. I get the sense that, since they know he's leaving, everything they've collectively worked for is in Peril.

    Thanks! And... Bravo! =D= I read it that way too. ;)

    I'm all for some past/future competition for Padme. *hoists his lighter, rocks back and forth* Don't know what'cha got, 'til it's gone!(pronouced: gawooawn)

    We shall see!

    Only experience teaches how emphatic and exclamatory the silences punctuating Guy Talk can be...

    Loved your example... and it?s so true. That Silence carries more meaning than an hour of some people?s chatter. (For the record, I have always liked Total Recall, and go back to it now and then f
  11. GeneralKenobi7 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2009
    star 4
    ?Tell her...? he began finally, but his mouth was dry and he had to swallow before he could speak properly. ?Tell her...? he began again, ?that I?m ... um... taller.? :oops:
    Really Anakin, seh wasn't even there and you are too embarrassed to get a good sentence together??:p
    Sad scene with Shmi:_|
    Looking out for the next update!
  12. whateveritis12 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2008
    star 3
    Very Good especially at the end. Got to hope that Padme comes in and saves Anakin from making a bad choice in joining the Seperatists. Mainly because that would preclude him being a Sith. Dooku and Palpatine wouldn't let anyone of his power just "rot" away on a planet like Tatooine. They'd snatch him up and with the dislike of jedi once they spurned him, he's a great candidate.

    I gotta say that I don't want that to happen, but it's your story.
  13. MoAngel Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2005
    star 2
    Poor Anakin. The boy STILL has it bad! 'Tell her I'm taller?' That's the best he could do? Somehow I don't think these emmisaries of the Naboo Queen are the only ones searching out Anakin, the most famous person on Tatooine! Great chapter, but as always I'm left wanting more..
  14. ratna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Cliegg and Shmi might accept the verdict of the coarse, clumsy medics and their rusty, outdated droids, but they had never traveled beyond their small, deprived world. They couldn?t imagine the wonders that Anakin had seen in the Galaxy beyond. Even as a child, he had understood that anything was possible with the right technology and enough money.

    Anything.


    This strikes a deep chord for me. ????? wu nai de zhe xue I have lived in a culture which (at least from a certain point of view) makes a philosophy of helplessness. Where comparing hardships is a social sport.

    But Anakin has seen other worlds. How will he integrate these conflicting realities ? as opposed to simply repudiating one in favor of another? What hard hand of Fate will be required at the threshold Gate, to bring him to an adult synthesis, rather than the blind refusal of the child?



    Anakin carefully laid his mother back on the pillow. Her eyes moved as if she was seeking him out, but when they came to rest she appeared to be staring at a point somewhere beyond him. Shmi was the only person who ever truly saw him. Without her knowing eyes looking right through him, keeping him straight and true, he felt as if he?d lost a part of himself.

    Shiver! Padme needs to get her bustle over here pronto! Surely there is some ripple in the Force to that effect, tickling in the back of Obi-Wan?s (or Yoda?s?) mind to that effect, even if they can?t quite unveil it?

    keeping him straight and true
    So perfect!



    Popper and Solly
    LOVE the names!!


    And the dialogue:

    ?I don?t need any of your gangsters followin? me home,? Cliegg growled. ?I can manage just fine on my own.?

    Anakin stood up to face Shmi?s husband. ?They?re going with you. They?ve been waiting outside with the transport all morning.?

    ?I said, I don?t need them.?

    ?I?m not letting you cross the wastes alone with Mom!?

    ?Listen, boy...?

    ?Please...? Shmi?s protest was faint, but it instantly stopped the argument.




    This too:

    Shmi?s men swallowed the rawness that was eating them up and did as they were bidden.

    This is, to me, the soul of matriarchy.




    When he saw her hurrying along the dusty street near the cantina ? when he glimpsed the glossy dark braids, the pale oval face and the lithe, straight-backed grace that instantly set her apart ? Anakin?s heart stopped for a whole eternity before it started skipping like a sputtering engine.

    It can?t be her, it just can?t ... she would have no reason to come here, none at all...

    He was still struggling to make out her features when she disappeared around a corner. Anakin charged after her blindly, completely forgetting where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. He was fast, but the streets were crowded and she was way ahead of him. He lost her again after a few turns. Panting, desperate, leaning against a wall for support, he looked up and down the alleyway, trying to figure out where she had gone.

    ?Anakin, what the hell?? someone yelled. Behind him, at the far end of the alleyway, Popper was pounding after him, gesturing wildly.

    Back, Anakin decided sensibly. I have to get back. But his body ran the other way, up the alley where he had last glimpsed the woman.


    Anakin in love. Does ANYONE describe him with more delicacy and poignant grace than you do? Not in my book. *sigh*

    The whole rest of it, the dialogue at the ship with Amidala?s envoy. Urf.


    LOVED this by the way:

    ?I don?t think there is any reason we couldn?t carry a message to Senator Amidala from you, if you?d like.?

    ?That?s not in our mandate!? Danil insisted.


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]



    And the irrepressible Thirlian.

    Anakin 'whipping around like a Krayt dragon ready to strike'

    Such wonderful descriptions and characterizations just bring the story alive for me.



    Tongue-tied Anakin:

    [
  15. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    I'm Taller?!... Ugh he will be kicking himself for that later.

    Nice to see that she is checking up on him. She will also discover that he has liberated a planet... Chicks dig stuff like that.
  16. Mr_Black Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2004
    star 1
    But this is his home.

    It...is? Wouldn't he have a villa--on account of being a Count--or his own planet to shape and mold as he saw fit, given that he's El Biggo Cheeso of the Confederacy?

    There are as many views as there are stories

    Which parallel universe has the all-singing, all-dancing Dooku?

    Sith-ness is a cup of selectively-acting hemlock that wipes out every philospophy

    Yet one more reason to stick with hot chocolate.

    Um... I?m not prepared to say yet.

    What if I narrowed it down to, "Tell me everything else about your story except its connection, however tenuous, to Episode I?"

    Bravo!

    Thank you. :)

    ...I read it that way too.

    Er...don't you mean you wrote it that way? Or is there a geo4 I don't know about, madly scribbling away in the shadows?

    Alas, poor misunderstood heart...

    Alas, Anon! May the whims of mine Heart carry high on the winds of Happiness. [face_Shakespeare]

    I hope that you will not take it amiss if I don?t meddle...

    Don't worry, not a thing is amiss! I just--hah!--I've got something in my eye, is all. :(

    Truthfully, I can't tell if the discussion shared between ratna and myself is postponed or completed. Crafty, she be. Like a bird in flight, blinded, yet with the most remarkable wingspan. She can soar higher or dive deeper than most I've come across, but it's difficult to predict her flight plan. In a two word sentence, she can support and deny three different points...at the same time! :eek:

    Discoursing with her is like following in the footsteps of Odysseus. We cast off from the shores of myth heading into even more uncertain waters, battling the fickle, wondrous tides while struggling to maintain a healthy sense of skepticism and a heading that points to firmer, more familiar ground. This is one way of saying I could use back up, so feel free to meddle should the mood strike.

    Preliminary thought on The Story:

    "Tell her...that I?m ... um... taller.?

    When it comes to impressing the ladies, Tall=Good. Game, set, match teenage!Anakin. :cool:
  17. DarthBreezy Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2002
    star 6
    Yes, I would too, and I have...

    [qute=the story]
    ?Thank you, brother.? Anakin gave each of the men a quick fraternal hug ? the kind that he and Owen shared only rarely. ?I?ll see you later.?[/quote]

    The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. ? Illusions, Richard Bach

    Awwww - Love...



    LOL! At first you think he'd seen her - but like any guy, it's the 'car' ...

    Awwww.....



    *whooo- boy, been there, done that... just the other day actually, and we'll leave it at that...

    Lovely entry...
  18. geo3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks, as always, to you all for your comments! I can't tell you how much I look forward to them! @};-

    GeneralKenobi7 Really Anakin, seh wasn't even there and you are too embarrassed to get a good sentence together??

    Yeah, pretty much! [face_laugh]

    Looking out for the next update!

    Thanks!

    whateveritis12 Very Good especially at the end. Got to hope that Padme comes in and saves Anakin from making a bad choice in joining the Seperatists. Mainly because that would preclude him being a Sith. Dooku and Palpatine wouldn't let anyone of his power just "rot" away on a planet like Tatooine. They'd snatch him up and with the dislike of jedi once they spurned him, he's a great candidate.

    I gotta say that I don't want that to happen, but it's your story.


    Welcome, and thanks for commenting! Of course I?m not going to say yet what happens, but I hope the story will keep you interested.

    MoAngel Poor Anakin. The boy STILL has it bad! 'Tell her I'm taller?' That's the best he could do?

    Apparently!

    Somehow I don't think these emmisaries of the Naboo Queen are the only ones searching out Anakin, the most famous person on Tatooine! Great chapter, but as always I'm left wanting more..

    I?m glad of that! Thanks so much for your comments.

    ratna ... Anakin has seen other worlds. How will he integrate these conflicting realities ? as opposed to simply repudiating one in favor of another? What hard hand of Fate will be required at the threshold Gate, to bring him to an adult synthesis, rather than the blind refusal of the child?

    *in which Ratna elegantly summarizes the theme of the story ... * ;)

    Padme needs to get her bustle over here pronto! Surely there is some ripple in the Force to that effect, tickling in the back of Obi-Wan?s (or Yoda?s?) mind to that effect, even if they can?t quite unveil it?

    Ummm... possibly?

    So perfect! ... LOVE the names!!...And the dialogue:

    Thanks! I was going to call them Popper and Kuhn, but then decided that two Modern Philosophers in one story would be too many. So I settled for Popper. Besides, I?m a philistine, I haven?t read either one ... [face_laugh]

    This is, to me, the soul of matriarchy.

    They are indeed bound to her, but by love, for she has nothing else.

    Anakin in love. Does ANYONE describe him with more delicacy and poignant grace than you do? Not in my book. *sigh*

    [face_blush] Thanks! I?m so glad that came across.

    The whole rest of it, the dialogue at the ship with Amidala?s envoy. Urf.

    [face_blush] You are very kind!

    Such wonderful descriptions and characterizations just bring the story alive for me.
    [face_blush] I?m so glad!

    ?...tell her I?m taller...?I find this unutterably sweet ? minority opinion though it may be!

    I thought it was pretty much what he would say... practically heard him saying it...

    Ocelotl_Nesto I'm Taller?!... Ugh he will be kicking himself for that later.

    :D It?s good to have the male perspective here!

    Nice to see that she is checking up on him. She will also discover that he has liberated a planet... Chicks dig stuff like that.
    Yes we do! [face_laugh]

    Mr_Black Wouldn't he have a villa--on account of being a Count--or his own planet to shape and mold as he saw fit, given that he's El Biggo Cheeso of the Confederacy?

    Perhaps he does. Perhaps he has hundreds! But for the moment, it seems he is always on the go... in style.

    Which parallel universe has the all-singing, all-dancing Dooku?

    I think you just invented it....?

    Yet one more reason to stick with hot chocolate.

    Indeed!

    What if I narrowed it down to, "Tell me everything else about your story except its connection, however tenuous, to Episode I?"

    I?d love to, you know I would, but the lawyers really have my tailfeathers in a sling on this one...

    Er...don't you mean you wrote it that way? Or is there a geo4 I don't know about, madly scribbling away in the shadows? [/
  19. NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    [face_laugh] Oh, Anakin, you cuoldn't think of something a little better? :p

    Very nice! I loved his race through the streets, ognoring everyone else :D And I hope Vespe gets his message to Padme - wonder how she'ss react :D I think this'll make Anakin even more eager to get offworld and maybe take Shmi with him. Though I have a feeling her health is something Dooku will try to use to snare Anakin.
  20. canadianjedimama Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2008
    star 4
    Tell Padme that he's taller? [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    What a ladies man... :D

    Thanks for the pm's.

    CJM
  21. amidalachick Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Shmi was the only person who ever truly saw him. Without her knowing eyes looking right through him, keeping him straight and true, he felt as if he?d lost a part of himself.

    Powerful words.

    I really liked Popper, Anakin's desperate chase, and his meeting with Vespé and Danil.

    ?Tell her...? he began finally, but his mouth was dry and he had to swallow before he could speak properly. ?Tell her...? he began again, ?that I?m ... um... taller.?

    I am imagining him following that up with a "D'oh!", à la Homer Simpson. :p

    Great post!
  22. ViariSkywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2002
    star 4
    It's been a while since I've dropped in here, but I'm finally caught up! Fantastic story, great OCs, wonderful characterization... I'm just loving this. I will echo the sentiments about this line:

    ?Tell her...? he began finally, but his mouth was dry and he had to swallow before he could speak properly. ?Tell her...? he began again, ?that I?m ... um... taller.?

    [face_laugh] Perfect!

    I really love how you returned to some of the scenes from AOTC to show them in light of this alternate reality, and I love the inclusion of the handmaidens, past and present. The circumstances of Anakin's return to Tatooine ten years ago are very interesting indeed, and I look forward to learning more about it. And may I just say, Anakin's gang is awesome. I had no trouble imagining them there in the cantina or in any other setting. Great addition to the story, and I really enjoy seeing Anakin's interactions with them.

    There is so much to love in this story, and I'm sure I'm leaving something out. Looking forward to the next post! :D


  23. geo3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    More comments! Lovely! Thank you!

    NYCItyGurl Oh, Anakin, you couldn?t think of something a little better?

    [face_laugh] Apparently not...

    Very nice! I loved his race through the streets, ognoring everyone else And I hope Vespe gets his message to Padme - wonder how she'ss react I think this'll make Anakin even more eager to get offworld and maybe take Shmi with him. Though I have a feeling her health is something Dooku will try to use to snare Anakin.

    Thanks! We?ll begin to see the outcomes soon...

    canadianjedimama

    Tell Padme that he's taller? ... What a ladies man...

    [face_laugh] For better or for worse, that?s our boy...

    Thanks for the pm's.

    You?re welcome! I?m always happy to send them out on request.

    amidalachick Shmi was the only person who ever truly saw him... Powerful words.

    It?s a powerful relationship, I think...

    I really liked Popper, Anakin's desperate chase, and his meeting with Vespé and Danil.

    Yay! I'm glad!

    I am imagining him following that up with a "D'oh!", à la Homer Simpson.

    I?m sure he?s kicking himself...

    Great post!

    Thanks so much!

    ViariSkywalker It's been a while since I've dropped in here, but I'm finally caught up! Fantastic story, great OCs, wonderful characterization... I'm just loving this.

    It?s great to see you any time, and I?m very happy that you?re enjoying the story!

    I will echo the sentiments about this line...Perfect!

    Thanks! I just sort of heard him saying it...:p

    I really love how you returned to some of the scenes from AOTC to show them in light of this alternate reality, and I love the inclusion of the handmaidens, past and present. The circumstances of Anakin's return to Tatooine ten years ago are very interesting indeed, and I look forward to learning more about it. And may I just say, Anakin's gang is awesome. I had no trouble imagining them there in the cantina or in any other setting. Great addition to the story, and I really enjoy seeing Anakin's interactions with them.

    AOTC was my starting point, and it has been fun to imagine the story from there. Glad you like the ?gang? ? they are central to Anakin?s life in many ways.

    There is so much to love in this story, and I'm sure I'm leaving something out. Looking forward to the next post!

    You are most kind, thank you! The new post is up below.

    @};-

    All right, on with the next chapter...

    ~

    Chapter 6. Flash Point (Part 1)

    The third attack on Padmé Amidala took place when she was side by side with her Jedi protector. Neither one saw it coming.

    It was in the water of one section of the Senate building (section FVC481-4, to be precise) a narrow wedge of the great circular structure that contained Senate offices on multiple floors as well as vast maintenance areas below. The toxin?s ingress into the drinking water was later traced to a specific point in a single pipe. It had been injected very close to the point of effluence, limiting its effect to only thirty or forty Senate offices and one refectory. One of the offices was that of the Senate Delegation from the Naboo System.

    Padmé began to feel ill, as did many others, during the Senate session. While Obi-Wan Kenobi had stuck to her like a shadow during her entire day, she had categorically refused to allow him to accompany her into the Senate Chamber pod.

    ?I can?t imagine a better way to make myself a target than by having a Jedi sitting next to me in my pod,? she had snapped.

    Obi-Wan had yielded because it was true. Instead, he waited for her in one of the viewing galleries high at the top of the chamber, observing the space tirelessly for the slightest hint of danger.

    He had sensed the intent to do harm long before it manifested, and spent far too much time searching through the Force for indications of external dangers such as weapons or explosives. By the time his perception indicated poisoning, Pod occupants throughout the Senate Chamber, Padmé among them, already were signalin
  24. ratna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    She updates! Yes!!

    Loved the dialogues, and especially the 'packing scene'. Love how that is canon, but with a twist.

    Padme and her Handmaidens at the holo-show:

    ... a story that might have come from a holo-vid, one of those melodramatic serials with orphans, slaves, heroes and pirates. Only, all of those parts would have had to be played by a single person.

    The only thing missing from the tale was the requisite high romance.


    I'm sure they will be able to rectify that one, small, omission .....[face_devil] @};-
  25. EGKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    Great update Geo...

    I hope Anakin finds the answers he's looking for.

    Great update.

    EG
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