Beyond - Legends Fragile - An Anakin and Tahiri Story Repost Completed

Great updates as usual! Chapter 16 had me starting to wonder a bit about Tahiri's judgement (and Anakin's too). I liked Valin's explanation a lot, although in the back of my mind I'm still wondering if everything is as it seems here (and that suspense is an excellent thing in my mind whether it's intended or not).

Really liked Jaina and Jag here, and Jacen is as irritating as ever. Very well-characterized on all fronts. Can't wait to read more, and the cliff-hanger at the end of chapter 17 really has me ready!

 

Hey and thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry for the silence - I've been recovering from pneumonia and have barely had the will to live - so even though I'm only editing and correcting here - still required more energy than I have had! New posts coming up now though.




Nyota's Heart:
Yes - Anakin/Han time is awesome - they just always seemed to be the most pragmatic ones, although Jaina can be when need be. She'll have more to say - and see - shortly.


Force Smuggler:
Jaina felt fantastic... remember that...

Stone Jade:
They were in a controlled environment... trust me they know when to cut loose and when not to.

 

Chapter 18​

​

Brothers In Arms​

Jaina felt terrible… really terrible.

She didn’t know what Yorg put in those Slord Cakes but Anakin swore that the ingredients could be found in any human pantry, and Tahiri seemed no worse for wear, but then, Tahiri had done that rejuvenation trance, and Jaina hadn't. She was thinking that that may have been a big mistake, and vowed that as soon as breakfast was over she was going to crawl off to the nearest hole she could find and fix that.

If breakfast didn’t turn into the disaster that she feared.

They’d all sat down an hour ago, the Antilles, the Celchus, the Skywalkers, Jag, the entire Solo family, minus Will; this was supposed to be an informal meeting. Luke and Mara giving Wedge a brief overview of what the Jedi Masters had planned for the ground assault; what they wanted to do while Wedge’s naval forces where ripping through Shimmra’s air defenses.

The plan wasn't complicated; Han and Leia, flying the Falcon, would take the Jedi team planetside so they could penetrate the citadel and attack the Supreme Overlord himself while GA ground troops kept the warriors busy and out of the citadel. What the Jedi would need from Wedge was for one of his squadrons to fly cover for the Falcon.

The Skywalkers hadn't imagined that Wedge would have a problem with that.

They were right, Wedge didn’t have a problem with that.

Tycho didn’t have a problem with that either. All of his and Wedge’s squads were good, any one of them should do.

“Actually,” Luke began, a calm tone to his voice. He looked down the long table to Wedge, sitting directly opposite him; then flicked his gaze to Anakin, half way down the table, dead center between the two old friends.

Jaina’s brother was leaning back; elbow on the arm of his chair, two fingers pressed into his chin, two more against his cheek; he had one eyebrow cocked, studying their uncle expectantly, and Jaina suddenly realized that Anakin was just waiting for Luke to say the words, but that he already knew what those words would be. Anakin already knew that Luke was going to ask specifically for his squadron to fly cover for the Jedi.

Luke met his gaze for a moment, smiled, then nodded, first to Tycho, then Wedge, and finished with; “I’d like it to be Anakin’s squadron.”

Anakin didn’t move, didn’t blink, but Jaina felt a surge of emotion flare in the Force. Almost instantly, before she could even define what that emotion was, she felt something else; from Tahiri – the equivalent of a wall surrounding her brother – blocking him off from the rest of the people in the room – protecting him from his family or his family from him, she wasn't sure… but after a moment, the wall disappeared and Anakin was in control again, placid, or as close as he’d been before Luke had spoken. Anakin turned to Tahiri, smiled tightly, then turned to Wedge.

“I have no problem with that, General.”

It struck Jaina that Anakin hadn't waited for a command from his superior, but rather had informed his superior that he had permission to give Anakin a command. In any case, Anakin and Tahiri both relaxed visibly, and Jaina became more sure that they had known all along that Luke was going to ask them to do something – but they thought that that had been it; they thought that they’d just faced and dealt with the big request that Anakin’s family had come to make.

Wedge pushed his breakfast plate away, wiped his mouth with his napkin, threw it down, then raised his caf cup as he commented, “Well, Luke, I have to admit, that was easy; I expected you to ask for more.”

Jaina closed her eyes and dropped her chin slightly as Mara shifted and Luke cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the table back to himself.

“There is another issue we’d like to address… Iella.”

Jaina opened her eyes and looked up at the Intelligence Agent, watched her eyes widen in surprise that Luke would be making a request of her.

Jaina’s stomach lurched as the tension in the room grew again.

Anakin’s shoulders tensed, and Tahiri’s eyes flicked toward him. She was sitting across the table from him, not directly though. She was next to Iella, Iella was next to Jacen; Jacen was across from Anakin.

Wedge was flanked by Winter and Tycho. The three of them, and Iella, all glanced quickly at Anakin, then back down to Luke. The tension continued to rise, everyone seemed to know that something was about to be said that Anakin wasn't going to be happy about—and Jaina had a flash to the day before, to Valin’s comment about not wanting to make Anakin unhappy, and she wished Luke could see that this was a really bad idea.

Iella finally smiled down to Luke and said, “What is it you’d like from Intel?”

Mara was the one who stepped in with, “We need a translator on the ground with us.”

“No.”

Mara had barely finished her sentence before Anakin cut in, but his voice didn’t carry the anger that Jaina had feared. He didn’t stand up or scream or shout or call anyone in the family names or demand to know why they would ever begin to think he’d allow his wife to go with them, which surprised Jaina.

Then Jacen opened his mouth.

“Anakin…”

And that made Anakin angry.

“You,” he started, leaning forward and pointing at their brother, “keep your mouth shut so I don’t throw you into a wall.” Then, turning back to Luke; “After specifically requesting that I be in the air, you request that Tahiri be on the ground with you? I wouldn't trust you to walk her from here to the end of the hall, there is no way in hell I’m going to trust you to keep her safe in the middle of Yuuzhan’tar.”

Mara spoke up again, clearly thinking that she could soothe her nephew. “Anakin, Tahiri is the best translator we've got…”

“No, she’s the best translator we've got,” Anakin snapped, “and I’d expect better from you, of all people.” Then, turning back to Luke, he kept going. “And you are so out of your mind that it’s sort of hard to even be angry at you for asking. I’m more inclined to feel pity because this war has clearly warped any sense of decency you had left.

“You wouldn't let me go to Yavin for her, you tried to banish her to the Maw when she was pregnant and I was gone, and now you want me sit back and let you take her to ground zero without me? No – kriffing - way.”

“Anakin.” Tahiri’s voice was calm and steady and no one seemed more surprised than Anakin to hear her speak. “Can I have a word with you outside?” she asked as she stood up from the table.

He started to object, but closed his eyes and let out a short huff when she raised an eyebrow at him, before turning from the table. He was still muttering something about ‘out of your kriffing minds’ when the door hissed shut behind them.

The room was dead silent after they left, and Jaina finally worked up the nerve to look at Wedge, then Iella and Winter and Tycho. All were glaring at various members of her family, and all the members of her family were looking at their plates, or each other, clearly trying to pretend that their long-time friends weren’t appalled by the request that had just been made.

When the door opened a few minutes later, Tahiri poked her head in and said, “Agent Wessiri, General Antilles, a moment, please?”

Wedge and Iella glanced at each other, then at Winter and Tycho, and all four stood up; a silent understanding having passed between them – no discussions were going to be had without all four of them present and Jaina understood why; they’d become parents to Tahiri as much as mentors and superior officers and agents to both her and Anakin. Whatever it was that Anakin and Tahiri had decided, whatever they were thinking of doing and wanted to run by Iella and Wedge, Winter and Tycho were going to have a say in as well.

When the door closed again Jaina looked at her father, saw the hurt in his eyes, saw how much he hated all of this, saw that he knew too that Anakin had just been pushed further away from them and that Han would never forgive Luke and Mara if they didn’t get Anakin back.

Several more minutes passed, an eternity it seemed to Jaina, before the door to the dining room hissed open once more, and the six who’d left filed back in.

They all seemed resigned, unhappy, but they were all too used to serving - to giving to the greater good - to ultimately put their personal feelings ahead of what needed to be done. Of course her parents and her aunt and uncle thought that that was what they were doing here too – putting what needed to be done ahead of their personal feelings – and they couldn't understand why Anakin was holding that against them.

As everyone resumed their seats, Anakin addressed the table.

“I go with Tahiri or she doesn't go. Take it or leave it.”

Luke looked up, nodded his head a bit before saying to Anakin, “Do you think you will be able to control your anger towards Jacen during the mission?”

Anakin’s mouth fell open as he looked at Luke, shock radiating off of him both in the Force and to the naked eye.

“My anger? Are you kidding me? Is that why you wanted me in the air? Because you were afraid I’d get angry at Jacen and blow the mission?”

“This is important Anakin, we can’t afford to have you two at each other’s throats.”

Anakin barked out an un-amused laugh. “Can I make a suggestion then? Why don’t you glue his mouth shut so he can’t say anything stupid. That should prevent a problem before there is one.”

“Forgive me for not thinking the solution to everything is to shoot it or slice it in half.” Jacen scowled.

“There is a time and a place for everything, Jacen. If you want to preach non-aggression go find a rock somewhere and have at it, but when we’re standing in the middle of a battle field staring down a couple hundred Yuuzhan Vong warriors the solution is to shoot it or slice it in half.”

“Boys,” Leia cut in, “There is a time and a place for everything, and this is not the time or the place.”

Anakin shook his head in disgust, “Well it’s your brother and your son who always seem to have an issue with me and how I do things, and yet everyone blames me for not wanting anything to do with you people. And this is so much fun. Too think, I could have spent the last year of my life fighting with them instead of being here, enjoying myself and shooting and slicing Vong.”

Tahiri cleared her throat gently and Anakin shot her a look before saying, “Time and place,” which got him a suppressed a grin, and a mouthed ‘sorry’ before she turned to Luke, her smile disappearing as she became all business.

“Alright Master Skywalker, what is it, precisely, that you want from me?”

Luke nodded at her, making it clear that he appreciated her forthrightness. “Well, from what I’ve seen of your reports, you've had a large number of Yuuzhan Vong surrender, to you, specifically.”

“To groups that I work with, yes.”

“And you’re fairly well known amongst the Shamed Ones and the Shaper and Priest Classes.”

“There is evidence that stories are circulating that I may be thought to be of some importance, but we've know that since Yag’Dhul. They also think Will’s important, and thought Anakin was important before they thought he died. What is your point?”

“We’re thinking that if we make it known that you’re with us, than maybe that will galvanize the…”

His explanation was cut off by Anakin’s yelling; “You said you wanted a translator, you’re not using her as bait!”

“We want the Shamed Ones to work with us, Anakin.” Luke said.

“Find another way. You’re not holding Tahiri up in front of a mob to incite a riot against Shimmra.”

“Anakin.” This time it was Tahiri trying to calm him down. “He’s right, it could work, but it will only work if any of them recognize me. There’s every possibility that they won’t, in which case I won’t be in any more danger than I would be to begin with. And besides,” she smiled, “you’ll be there to protect me.”

Anakin glared at her, clearly furious for her siding with Luke, but she held his gaze.

Then, Jacen said possibly the most stupid thing Jaina had ever heard him say in their lives.

“You know what might be even better than taking Tahiri, is if we took Will…”

He didn’t get in farther.

Jaina barely saw the blur that was Anakin as he dove across the table, sending plates, glasses, and silverware flying and crashing, and his hands were around Jacen’s neck and the two were on the floor before anyone else had even made it out of their own chairs.

Tahiri was the first to reach Jaina’s brothers, having pushed Iella out of the way, sending her rolling backwards on the wheels of her chair. She had one arm over Anakin’s shoulder, the other around his waist, trying to pull him up, screaming his name and for him to stop.

Han had grabbed Leia and pulled her away, was holding her back from the boys, and Jaina thought vaguely that that was smart, because their mother would surely have been crushed between her sons. Luke and Mara reached Anakin and Jacen at almost the same time, Luke ripping Tahiri away, throwing her against Tycho, who did a decent job of throwing her off to Winter and Iella, who were doing a decent job of holding her back.

Luke dove in after Mara, as soon as he’d passed off Tahiri, and they were both trying to pull Anakin off Jacen, but they were having a hard time prying Anakin’s fingers off of Jacen’s neck.

Jaina watched as Jacen’s head hit the floor over and over again, watched as he wedged his hand up into Anakin’s face and tried to push his brother off of him, and it took her a while to figure out why she couldn't help, why she seemed to be running in place; Jag’s arms were around her and he was whispering in her ear, telling her to stop, but he wasn't whispering, he was yelling, it just sounded like whispering because of how loud everyone else’s screams were.

Then she realized that the loudest voice was Anakin’s and he was saying the same thing over and over again to Jacen, I’m going to kriffing kill you, I’m going to kriffing kill you, and for a horrible moment Jaina thought that maybe Anakin would.

After what felt like hours, soldiers came running in, Jaina wasn't sure how many, ten, twelve, fifteen… or how they even knew to be there, but they were there, peeling Luke and Mara away, then finally, finally they had Anakin up, a bunch of them had Anakin up, holding his arms and his legs and wrapping themselves around his body and yelling, ‘Colonel Solo, stop’ but he was kicking and thrashing and trying to pull away and trying to get at Jacen again and still screaming, I’m going to kriffing kill you.

Wedge was shouting at the soldiers to get Anakin and Tahiri out of there, and Iella and Winter were right on their heels, but another group of soldiers, the ones that had hauled Jacen up from the floor and were holding their blasters in his already bruising face, were waiting for Wedge’s next set of orders, and finally a tense hush fell over the room and with the quiet, the words that had set the last few terrible moments into motion repeated themselves in Jaina’s head.

“You know what might be even better than taking Tahiri, is if we took Will…”

Wedge walked up to Jacen and gave him a look that made his disgust absolutely clear, then, without moving his gaze he addressed one of the soldiers, “Tibbetts, escort the Skywalkers and the Solos to the hangar their docked in. Open the mag con barrier in thirty minutes, whether they’re in their ships or not.”

Then Jaina watched Wedge Antilles and Tycho Celchu leave the room, and as they walked away another thought struck her, one that stunned her almost as much as the sight of one of her brothers trying to kill the other; at no point in the last fifteen minutes had anyone in her family used the Force.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Tycho followed Wedge down the corridor and into his office, trying to remember when he’d last seen the boss this angry; tried to remember when he’d last been this angry.

He’d never been extremely fond of Jacen, not like he’d always been fond of Anakin, but this was just remarkably stupid.

Remarkably stupid.

He was relatively sure that none of the rest of the family had anything to do with Jacen’s remarkably stupid idea – they all seemed as horrified as he and Wedge and Winter and Iella, though it was hard to tell given that Anakin had flown across the table before anyone else really had a chance to process Jacen’s words.

They were in Wedge’s office, and Wedge had thrown a data pad into the wall, before five minutes had passed, and Tycho stood back, waiting for Wedge to get it out of his system.

Wedge adored Anakin and Tahiri; simply couldn't understand how the situation between them and Han and Leia had gotten so bad, couldn't understand how Han had allowed the whole thing with Jacen and Leia and Tahiri to get so out of control.

Tycho knew Tahiri had her issues – the girl could be a real pain in the thrusters at times, she had a mind of her own and didn’t always take orders well, but she was a good kid, was smart, had the makings of great agent as far as Winter and Iella were concerned, and had never once given either one of them lip. Besides all that; she was a wonderful mother to Will and she adored Anakin.

What parent wouldn't want their boy married to a girl who was that devoted to their son?

Evidently Leia Organa Solo.

But all that aside, what happened this morning - even before Jacen shot his mouth off - was not on the up and up. Luke had been underhanded in how he asked for Tahiri’s help, and that didn’t fit with the Jedi Master Tycho had known for thirty years and he wondered if this war had something to do with it, or if it was more fallout from the family’s issues with Tahiri.

Wedge finally turned around, scrubbed a hand down his face.

“Lock down Lumbont’s hangar.”

“Already done,” Tycho informed him, but Wedge didn’t seem to hear, he just kept going.

“Han’s not going to go far. He’s going to stick close and wait for kid to cool his jets and see if I let him back in, so we better make sure Anakin doesn't have access to anything with a weapons system or any means of getting near the Falcon or the Shadow while he’s this angry.”

Tycho smiled wanly. “And when he’s calmed down?”

“I’ll give him the firing solutions myself, but I want him to have a clear head and total focus when he pulls the trigger: Jacen’s not on the Falcon or the Shadow, he’s in an X-Wing.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Tahiri had been sitting against the wall of the hangar for nearly seven hours - waiting for Anakin.

It had taken a very long time for him to give up on flight control opening the mag con barrier, or persuading Fiver to patch him into the flight control computers so he could slice open the force field himself. He’d eventually stopped threatening to shoot his way out of the hangar but hadn't actually powered down the X-Wing for two more hours. It had taken another two after that before he’d popped the canopy.

When he’d taken his helmet off ninety minutes ago he’d chucked it through the air, sending it careening into Tahiri’s portable workstation so hard that Tahiri had heard the screen of her computer shatter and watched as flimsy and paint canisters had flown as though propelled by an explosion. Black paint had splattered everything within a five meter radius.

Anakin hadn't actually gotten out of his ship until thirty minutes ago, and he’d been rhythmically knocking his head against his arm, which was resting against the fuselage, since then.

Tahiri had no intention of stopping him, knew that he’d come to her when he was ready; knew that he’d be incapable of talking about what had happened until he’d calmed down, and even then, she wasn't sure Jacen’s words were anything that really required talking about; what was there to say?

They both knew that Jacen was an ignorant bastard. They both knew that it wasn't malice that had prompted Anakin’s brother’s incredibly insensitive suggestion that they flaunt their toddler son in front of the merciless warmonger who’d been hunting him since his birth. They both knew that Jacen simply had no frame of reference for the feelings that Anakin had for Will. Jacen would be at a loss to understand why his ‘idea’ would prompt the reaction from Anakin that it had, and would likely have walked away from the morning’s events thinking that Anakin’s behavior was an indicator that he was unbalanced or that Tahiri had some kind of evil control over him, or, that Jacen was still being punished for the ‘unfortunate mistake’ of leaving Anakin on the worldship.

The part that was worth talking about, that Anakin needed to get out, and that he’d need her help with, was his heartache over his belief that his family thought his wife and son were expendable, but that might need to wait. That was okay –when the time was right they’d discuss it, they’d gotten very good at discussing difficult things.

Some of the hardest discussions they’d ever had, the ones that had propelled them forever and irrevocably into adulthood, were the ones that had taken place during those dark days after Anakin had forced Tahiri to tell him all that had happened on Hapes after Jaina and Jacen had returned without him.

There had been moments during those days when she was certain Anakin would never forgive her for her part in what had happened with his family. She still wasn't certain she’d ever really forgive herself; but, as a couple, they had worked through that time, and, ultimately come out the other end stronger - each accepting that their view of the other had been significantly idealized by youth and inexperience, each having to learn to accept the other’s faults and weaknesses, each finally realizing that they’d known the other’s faults and weaknesses all along, and that accepting them wasn't as frightening as they’d thought, as damaging as they’d feared, because when all was said and done, they were still Anakin and Tahiri; they still loved each other no matter what, and they were still each other’s best friend.

Anakin finally stopped banging his head against his arm, turned, and shuffled over to Tahiri, though he didn’t bother to look up, just turned and sat next to her with his back against the wall, then leaned over and rested his head in her lap.

She cradled him, ran her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head, and waited.

“Why?” he finally asked, heartache clear in his voice.

She kissed him again in response.

“I thought maybe, after last night, at least Jaina understood.”

“I think she does. I think your father does. I think your mother might, even if she doesn't want to admit it. I think the issue is that none of them like to be wrong, and they are so far down a certain path that they don’t know how to turn around and reach out to you. And I also think that they've spent their entire lives living a certain way, sacrificing themselves for the sake of the galaxy, and they don’t see us behaving exactly the way they do and don’t understand us.”

“And Jacen?”

“Is an ignorant bastard. I think he doesn't have any idea how much what he says hurts you. I think he’s at a complete loss. And I think Luke and Mara are so focused on getting out of this war and getting back to their own son that they aren't thinking of anything but that, which I completely understand, because everything I do is filtered through how I feel about our son.”

“When did you become so understanding? Where’s my real wife?”

Tahiri chuckled. “You mean the immature hothead ready to tear into anyone at the slightest hint of injustice or misstep?”

Now it was Anakin’s turn to chuckle. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“You got her pregnant, you big dumb gundark.”

Anakin’s arm shot up and he flexed his bicep and stated in a faux deep voice, “No birth control can stop my Super Solo Sperm.”

“You better pray you’re wrong Hero-boy, or I’m cutting you off.”

“You say that now…” he rolled over in her arms and began to nuzzle her chest and neck, telling her, in between nips, “but you won’t be saying that later.”

“Wow, those statistics everyone talks about really are true.”

Anakin looked up at her innocently, “What statistics?”

She grinned. “The ones that claim that men spend ninety-five percent of every waking hour thinking about sex, regardless of what’s happening around them.”

“Only ninety-five?” he asked, as he wagged his eyebrows.

“Big… dumb… gundark…” she mouthed, though she couldn't help but smile as she did.

“Yeah, but I’m your big… dumb… gundark…”

Tahiri leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against his lips, then another on his forehead before sitting back up and brushing his hair some more.

“You know what we have to do?” she asked quietly.

Anakin closed his eyes for a long moment, then nodded his head. “I was beginning to believe that we were going to make it through this without having to.”

“I know. Me too. But we can trust them.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust them, I just didn’t want to have to burden them with it.”

“I know, but I can’t see that we have a choice. We need them if we’re going to do this and the Holds would do anything for us and Will.”

“Kriff. How’s Will? I feel terrible, he must have felt all of that.”

“He’s okay. Paloma said he freaked, but she commed Valin right away and he used the Force to put him to sleep, and then brought him back up after you and I cooled off some. It was only a little worse then when he felt you react to me going EV.”

“Great, that makes me feel tons better.”

“We’re human Anakin, we’re going to make mistakes. And considering that we’re Force freaks - to have only felt two outbursts like this from his highly emotional parents in almost two years, I’d say we’re doing pretty good, especially given that he was born in the middle of a war.”

“So you don’t think we’re doing him any lasting damage?”

“I’m sure the MD droid will tell us if we are.”

“You’re cute.”

“I know.”

Anakin sighed again, before asking, and Tahiri could tell he really didn’t want to ask, “Where’d the family go?”

“Bram said he heard that Wedge threatened to vac them if they weren’t off his ship ten minutes after you and I were hauled out of the dining room. Stoker said he heard twenty minutes. Junip said he heard they’re hanging out in a system nearby, waiting for Wedge to let them back in.”

Anakin snorted, “And Hodge is probably running the bets on all of it and on whether or not I shoot Jacen on sight when we sit down for the next planning session.”

“And on whether there is a next planning session.”

“Like we could avoid it.” Anakin rubbed a hand through his hair, then switched gears. “Thanks for locking the hangar down. I don’t want to think about what I would have done if I had gotten out of here as soon as I got the greens.”

“Don’t thank me, it didn’t occur to me to ground you until I found out it was locked, and then I realized it was a good idea.”

“Tycho?”

“Or Wedge. By the time I shook Iella and Winter and doubled back around to find you, the hangar was already closed.”

“Hodge was probably running that bet before you lost your tail.”

“I would think. I’m sure half the ship knew what was going on and was placing wagers on who you’d shoot first before you were in the lift. Must have really disappointed a lot of people when the lockdown order came in.”

“You’d think we were living with a bunch of Hutts with the way these guys gamble.”

“And all their bets seem to revolve around us.”

“If we ever lose our jobs we can set up shop in the Outer Rim, racing and betting.”

“Would I get to fly or collect?”

“Whatever makes you happy, Grandpa.”

“I’ll tell you what… as much as I’d love to spend another seven hours on this duracrete floor with your head in my lap, my butt’s numb, so why don’t you get off me and go find our son, I’ll round up the Holds and meet you in Wedge and Iella’s quarters, and we’ll tell them a nice long story about Older Tahiri and flow walking and what we want to do, and when we’re done scraping their jaws up off the floor, I’ll wear black for you.”

“And I don’t have to call you Grandpa again?”

Tahiri leaned down and smiled against Anakin’s lips. “Nope, tonight’s a freebie.”

Anakin reached up and cupped the side of her head, wound his fingers into her hair to hold her close and whispered, “Forty-two, my love.”

“Mmmmm… forty-two.”


Brothers In Arms/Dire Straits

 

Chapter 19​

​

There’s No Other Way​

Anakin sat on the floor, leaning against the floor to ceiling viewport in Wedge and Iella’s personal quarters; behind him was a vast starscape. Several meters in front of him was an even more beautiful sight; Will, sprawled out and asleep on Tahiri’s chest.

She was leaning back on the couch; Will’s head nestled into her neck, the fingers of one of his little hands fisted in her hair as he slurped gently on the thumb of his other hand.

Anakin was jealous; he wished he was asleep on Tahiri’s chest.

She had been wrong about needing to scrape the Holds’ jaws up off the floor; if their mouths had been open, they wouldn't have been able to hold in all the whiskey they’d been consuming.

Wedge and Tycho were on their fourth glasses, Winter and Iella on their third. Even Anakin was drinking a lot, more than he usually did, and he wasn't one to normally feel the need for a drink, unless he was at a party. But he had to admit, after today, the liquid was soothing him, taking the edge off of his frayed nerves. He supposed that a little meditating would have done the same thing, but he couldn't very well dump the information he had just shared with these four people and then excuse himself to go float in the Force. He needed to stay and answer their questions, of which they had many, and explain the plan, the ideas that he and Tahiri had, and what they needed the four to do for them, with them, so that they could finally end this war.

“Why,” Winter asked, “are you only telling us this now?”

Anakin took a healthy drink from his glass, let the liquid sting his throat as the ice numbed his tongue, then crunched on the cubes in his mouth and swallowed them.

“We were hoping that we wouldn't have to tell you at all,” he admitted quietly as he stared down into the amber fluid.

“Because you don’t trust us?”

Iella, sitting next to Tahiri on the couch, sounded hurt and Tahiri answered quickly.

“Of course not. We didn’t want to burden you. We wish we didn’t know about this, we didn’t ask to know about this, and we've tried to be mature and wise about what we've used and how we've treated our knowledge. But now that you know, tell me you aren't wracking you brain trying to figure out how to use this to go back in time to save the galaxy?”

Anakin watched his wife and her mentor stare at each other; then Tahiri went on.

“Isn't it hard to not imagine that you know how to make things better; hard to think that with the benefit of hindsight you wouldn't make better choices than others made before you? But the truth is it’s not our place or our right. If Anakin or I were to use the flow to go back and change things; who’s to say we wouldn't be causing more damage?”

“Explain that.” Wedge ordered gently, sitting forward in his chair, elbows on his knees.

“What she means,” Anakin said, “is that, say we went back and somehow were able to prevent the invasion, say that prevents Mara from being infected with the comb spores that nearly killed her, say because of that Ben Skywalker wasn't conceived and because of that thirty years from now he’s not around to lead the Jedi against a different threat, a threat worse than the Yuuzhan Vong.”

Tycho snorted. “Could there be a threat worse than the Yuuzhan Vong?”

“That’s the point.” Tahiri took over again. “We don’t know. And we aren't arrogant enough to think we do, and we don’t feel we have the right to make those choices.”

“For purely selfish reasons, Tahiri and I are glad that Older Tahiri did what she did, because if she hadn't done it I probably would have died on the worldship instead of just losing a year. Tahiri would probably have lost Will, and she would have suffered like Older Tahiri did. But Older Tahiri still didn’t have the right. Who knows what could have been, what she deprived her universe of, by coming to us.”

“And why tell us?” Iella asked. “Why not tell Luke?”

Anakin snorted and Tahiri gave him a reproachful look. He cocked an eyebrow at her then turned to Iella. “Luke is the last person I’d tell. The unfortunate lesson he came away from the second Death Star with is that anyone can be redeemed, and he’s way too liberal in his sharing of information. I wouldn't be able to count on him to keep the knowledge of flow walking from the rest of the Order, and as arrogant as this probably makes me sound, there isn’t a Jedi among them that I’d trust with it, least of all my brother. They can never know about this.”

Wedge sighed deeply before nodding his head. “Given Jacen’s obscenely stupid comment today, I’m inclined to agree with you. He’s far too impressed with his own ideas to trust with something like this, especially if… his other self... is that how you’d put it?”

Anakin smiled, “That’s close enough.”

Wedge smiled back. “I’m starting to understand how you came up with ‘Older Tahiri’ and ‘Younger Tahiri’.”

“You should have seen them in the same room. Or when they’d start scolding me in stereo.”

“We didn’t scold you that much.” Tahiri defended.

Anakin stood up, walked over to her, and kissed her on the head.

“What was that for?” she asked as the Holds chuckled and Anakin nudged her over enough to make room for himself on the couch; he sat down beside her, then pulled her against his side, wrapping his arms around her and Will.

“Because you’re so darn cute. And you two scolded me like crazy.”

“We were trying to keep you alive, dummy.”

Wedge scrubbed a hand over his face. He looked more tired than Anakin had ever seen him, and he felt bad for what they were putting him through, what they were putting them all through, and what they were going to ask of them, but if it worked, maybe they would all be able to rest.

Tycho brought Anakin’s focus back by asking, “So, this other Jacen, he became a Sith?”

“Yeah,” Anakin breathed out. “He was captured during the Voxyn mission, the same mission the other Anakin died on. He was held captive and tortured for several months by Vergere, the Fosh I killed this time. After the war, in their time, Jacen traveled for several years, alone, had no contact with the family, spent time with different Force using groups. That’s when he learned to flow walk.

“In around Forty ABY the Corellians tried to secede from the GA, the Second Galactic Civil War started, Jacen was assigned to head a military group—ironically, he was asked to take the job because Mara turned the job down. He was already a little off his perch at that point according to Older Tahiri, and things went downhill pretty fast. Jacen somehow usurped power with a Mon Cal named Niathal—she’s captain of the Ark right now—and they became joint Chiefs of State. Jacen was Ben’s master at the time, Luke and Mara didn’t see, or didn’t want to believe, what Jacen was becoming. When Mara did finally realize what was going on, realized that Ben was being tutored be a Sith, she confronted Jacen and he killed her. Jaina ended up killing Jacen in the end.”

Wedge looked horrified, as did the others, but he was the one who asked the question Anakin knew the others wanted the answer to but couldn't bring themselves to voice.

“How did Older Tahiri figure into all of that?”

Anakin felt Tahiri’s shoulders shaking, knew that she was crying, leaned down and kissed her head again, then continued.

“Ben figured out who murdered his mother and left Jacen; Jacen needed a new apprentice. Older Tahiri and her Anakin had the same history Tahiri and I have; he went to Yavin for her, rescued her from the Shapers, they got married…”

“Forty-two?” Winter asked, a gentle smile on her face.

Anakin smiled back and nodded, “Forty-two. Older Tahiri didn’t realize she was pregnant with Will until they’d left on the Voxyn mission, never told her Anakin, then watched him die, and for the rest of her life felt guilty because she refused to kiss him good-bye when she knew he was dying. Several weeks after Anakin died she miscarried. No one ever knew about their baby until she told Tahiri.

“Not long after Anakin died and she lost their baby she had a nervous break down, the Yuuzhan Vong personality that the Shapers had implanted resurfaced and she eventually had to let it merge with her own. She was never the same. Jacen knew all of that, except about the baby, and he used it. Jacen not only saw potential in Tahiri as a Sith, he also needed a spy who could give him information on the Jedi, who had joined in with the Corellians by that point. He justified his actions to her, his side of the war, by telling her that he was trying to restore peace to the galaxy Anakin had sacrificed his life to save; sacrificed his and Tahiri’s life together to save.

“Then he took Tahiri flow walking…”

“Oh no…” Tycho breathed out.

“He had her addicted to walking back to see her Anakin within a few days; she would do anything he asked in exchange for those trips. She gave him information on the Jedi until she tried to arrest Han and Leia on Hapes and Tenel Ka shipped her back to Jacen; she killed Gilad Peallion for him, tortured Ben Skywalker for him, then served two years in prison after the war. Solitary confinement, surrounded by ysalamiri.”

“What a bastard.” Wedge snarled.

Tahiri sniffed. “She was very clear that it was her own fault. She didn’t blame Jacen. She knew that she made her own choices.”

“What happened to her? After she was with you?” Iella asked.

Tahiri sniffed again. “We’re not sure. Her plan was to kill herself after she was done telling us everything she wanted to share. But really, were not sure if that was even necessary. After all we did, we don’t know if she actually existed at Eclipse once we made the changes… if that makes sense.”

“Not really…” Tycho replied, “and not for the first time… I’m glad I’m not a Jedi.”

Anakin smiled wanly, and leaned his cheek into Tahiri’s hair, rubbed a hand over Will’s back, and once again, silently thanked Older Tahiri for all she’d done. Even though he’d vowed that he’d never make the decision that she had made, even though he knew in his heart that she’d had no right to make the choices she’d made, every time he looked at his wife or his son, he was glad that she had.

The soft popping of the whiskey bottle opening caught Anakin’s attention and he looked up to see Wedge standing over him, refilling his glass, then making his way around the room, refilling all the others. He’d even filled one for Tahiri, who was, uncharacteristically, sipping at it immediately.

When he was seated again, Wedge looked to Anakin and said, “Alright, enough with the history and metaphysics; there’s a reason why you've decided to break your two-and-a-half-year silence – why are you telling us this now?”

Anakin stood back up, paced back over to the window, took a large swig from his glass, whistled through the sting in his mouth, then turned back to the room.

“We want to use some of the information Older Tahiri gave us. What she told us about this war.”

The Holds all looked at each other in confusion, then to Tahiri, then finally back to Anakin.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to flow walk.” Iella said, and Anakin felt a pang at the disappointment in her voice.

“Don’t worry, we’re not. There’s other information that she gave us. About the Yuuzhan Vong.”

“And you haven’t told us this yet?” Tycho boomed, and then immediately looked chagrined when Iella and Winter shushed him and pointed to Will. “Sorry.” More quietly, but with the same inflection he repeated, “And you haven’t told us this yet?”

“It’s not anything we could have used before now, and again, we didn’t know if we should use it because we were trying to let the Force guide us, not go against its will. And we’re still not sure if what we’re doing is the right thing.” Anakin looked at Tahiri, who nodded encouragingly. “Shimmra may not be in control of the Yuuzhan Vong.”

“What?” Now it was Wedge’s turn to boom, but he ignored Iella and Winter and their scolding and stood up to meet Anakin in the center of the room. “Who’s in charge then? How come no one knows this?”

“If what Older Tahiri said is true, Shimmra doesn't even know this. And it’s all a little confusing so you’re going to have to calm down and not yell at me while I explain this.”

Wedge continued to glare, until he finally said, “Alright, I’ll try not to yell.” Then sat back down.

Anakin nodded, and continued. “Shimmra has a court jester of sorts, a Shamed One, Omini; severely deformed, insignificant as far as any of the other intendants or attendants are concerned. One, or both of them is able to touch the Force.”

“But the Yuuzhan Vong don’t have the Force. You've said all along they don’t have the Force.” Now it was Iella who was booming.

Anakin raised his hands at her, motioning her to calm down, as he continued. “According to Older Tahiri, Zonama Sekot was the Yuuzhan Vong’s home world, or an ancient world, I’m not totally clear, because, frankly, she loaded us down with a lot of information. But according to Sekot, the planet’s conscious, the Yuuzhan Vong were stripped of the Force, as a sort of punishment—it’s not that they don’t exist in the Force the way we thought, it’s that they've been deprived of it in some way. What I do know is that Omini found a way to touch to Force. And he’s insane.

“There was no way that he could ever rule the Yuuzhan Vong himself because his body is so horribly misshapen by the implants gone wrong and the disfigurement; and we don’t know if he’s controlling Shimmra, or if they’re working together or if Shimmra is able to touch the Force as well. Shimmra may not be aware of Omini’s power, we don’t know. Older Tahiri didn’t know.”

“How did she know any of this?” Wedge asked, his confused expression almost comical.

Anakin smiled, feeling sympathy for the older man, and continued explaining. “It was Vergere who told Jacen about Zonama Sekot last time. When I killed Vergere we thought that was the end of Zonama Sekot, but then Jacen apparently had a vision or something and guided Luke to it and they brought Zonama Sekot back here. Tahiri and I took that as a sign that maybe we should get involved, use more of what Older Tahiri told us, but we weren’t sure how. We figured the Force would tell us. Then the Yuuzhan Vong started surrendering and asked to be taken to Tahiri, we figured that was what the Forced wanted from us, to round up the Vong refugees and eventually take them to Zonama Sekot. Then Luke asked Tahiri to join them on Coruscant. We didn’t expect that. We sort of assumed that the Force would want something from me, that the Force would want me to get involved at the end to deal with Shimmra and Omini.”

Wedge sat back and whistled softly.

Tycho raised his eyebrows and looked at Wedge.

Iella and Winter looked at each other, then all four looked back at Anakin.

“Alright, kid,” Wedge said, shaking his head, “hit us again.”

But Iella suddenly turned to Tahiri, and Anakin felt a spike of fear from his wife, because Iella was looking at her in way she never had before, with suspicion.

“Tahiri, the translations you've done…”

“I was hoping that something would come up, that someone would say something specifically about Omini and Shimmra that we could use so we wouldn't have to tell you about Older Tahiri, that the Force would give us another sign to justify Anakin going after them, but nothing has ever been said.”

“And you've translated ever word faithfully? You haven’t gotten creative?”

Tahiri grabbed her hand, “No, no, I may have used a different word here or there, if there wasn't a direct correlation, but I’ve never altered the content. I’d never do that to you.”

Anakin saw Iella squeeze Tahiri’s hand, felt Tahiri relax, knew how heartbroken she would be if Iella were to ever suspect her of being less than totally scrupulous in her work, and was so incredibly grateful that Iella’s faith in Tahiri remained clear for his wife to see and feel.

“When you agreed to go with Luke this morning…” Iella was asking, but Tahiri finished for her.

“We've all known for weeks that the big push was coming. We assumed that Luke would ask Anakin to do something, and we decided that whatever it was, that would be our sign, but still, Anakin was conflicted about it, about leaving it to chance that Luke and the other Jedi would kill Omini and Shimmra themselves if they didn’t ask Anakin to go with them. When Luke asked him to fly cover, we figured that was the choice that the Force had made for him. We never imagined they’d ask me to go, though when we went outside to discuss it, we agreed that it made sense. Older Tahiri was with them last time; we didn’t know why we hadn't thought of it ourselves. I guess we were so focused on Anakin’s part in the grand scheme of things that we never thought about mine.”

“So, are you still going to go, even after what happened with Jacen this morning?” Winter asked.

Anakin closed his eyes; smiled – wondered how it was possible that someone that misguided could be his brother. When he opened his eyes again, five faces were watching at him expectantly.

He laughed. “You guys look like you’re waiting for my head to explode.”

“Never let it be said that you miss subtlety.” Tycho murmured.

Anakin chugged back the last of his drink and walked over to the low table in front of the three chairs and the couch everyone was seated on, placing his glass gently on the surface.

“I think I worked through it… my little tantrum.” Then he gave Wedge a lopsided grin, “Did you really threaten to vac the family?”

Wedge ignored his question. “Don’t fall all over yourself thanking me for the fact that you’re not spending another night in the brig.”

Anakin winced. “Thank you, General.”

Tahiri winced too. “Yeah, thank you, General.”

“And there are four reasons you escaped that punishment: one, Jacen’s not some hapless idiot who made the unfortunate mistake of hitting on your wife on his first night on my ship; two, you didn’t blast a hole in my ship trying to get out of here so you could blast your brother; three, with what’s going on, I can’t afford to take you off the line right now; and four, despite your rather spectacular loss of control this morning, Dr. Abay has assured me that you've made huge strides in keeping your temper in check under other circumstances.”

“I have made huge strides. And that was once. I refrained from dismantling the next hapless idiot who hit on her; I held back and let her handle the second guy.”

“Yeah, and then I spent the night in the brig,” Tahiri laughed.

Tycho raised an eyebrow at her. “It would probably have only been an hour or two if you hadn't knocked him unconscious. And then kicked him. Or if the whole thing hadn't started a brawl. I still haven’t forgiven you for the fact that I had to transfer that entire squadron over to the Second Fleet.”

“I told him four times to keep his hands off my ass,” Tahiri defended. “I don’t care what the greeting customs are on whatever backwater planet he came from. He’s lucky I didn’t have my lightsaber on me. And I didn’t realize he was unconscious until after I’d kicked him.”

“Regardless, the ‘No Ale’ policy is still in effect for you,” Tycho instructed. “You’re not as dangerous on Slord Cakes.”

Wedge shook his head. “Why do you two always make me feel like I’m dealing with the worst of the Rogues and the Wraiths combined when we’re supposed to be having a serious conversation? Now, let’s see if we can stay on topic for a full five minutes here; are you two going to Coruscant with the Jedi or not?”

“No,” Anakin answered, serious again. “We have our own plan, and this is why we need your help. The top of the citadel that houses Shimmra’s throne room is a ship, an escape vessel. Last time Luke, Jaina and Jacen went into the throne room, fought through Shimmra’s guards then killed him. Luke was hit with Shimmra’s amphistaff at the end and went down. Omini used some kind of paralytic on Jaina, and took her up into the ship. Jacen followed him, realized that Omini was using the Force, and they had some kind of Force energy battle, Omini lost, was turned into a pool of Force goo, and Jacen got Jaina and Luke out of there and was the big hero of the war.”

“You’re kidding?” Tycho asked, disgusted. “That little Hutt was the big hero?”

Anakin smiled. “Well, I wasn't around to do the job myself.”

“Oh, brother,” Tahiri moaned.

“Anyway, all of this is how Older Tahiri knew what she did about Omini and Shimmra, and why she wasn't sure who was controlling whom or who was really in power. All she had to go on was what Luke and the twins told everyone when they came out of the battle. So, what my adoring wife and I are thinking is; we get Kell Tainer, and a few other Wraiths, form a strike team and infiltrate a few days before the offensive is to start. We land far enough away from the capital to not draw attention to ourselves, Face has done it a number of times so it shouldn't be a problem… then we hike in the rest of the way. We scale the Citadel, help Kell wire the ship, and we blow it as the air assault is starting. That way, regardless of what happens inside, we've at least got Omini and Shimmra trapped.

“The Jedi can land as they planned, Tahiri and I will be there to meet Luke and the twins and we go inside and take out Shimmra and his guards and Omini and win the war.”

Anakin smiled widely as Tahiri rolled her eyes again, and Tycho raised an eyebrow at him.

“And while you’re winning the war… I’m what?” Wedge asked. “Sitting back playing Sabacc?”

“You guys,” Anakin nodded to Tycho and Wedge, “will be taking out Shimmra’s air defenses; according to Older Tahiri, that wasn't a huge problem, and she also said that the Shamed Ones revolted last time—at the end, they helped the GA ground forces.”

“Glad we could lend a hand.” Tycho groused.

“You never wondered why I call him ‘hero-boy’?” Tahiri muttered.

“Which is why you two weren’t totally against the idea of Tahiri going this time?” Wedge asked, ignoring Tycho and Tahiri.

Anakin ignored Tycho and Tahiri too; he’d been hearing from Tahiri for too many years to pay attention anymore.

“Oh, I’m against the idea of my wife being used as bait, but maybe this way we can avoid that, and, I’ll be with her, anything coming at her has to get through me.”

Tahiri took Iella’s hand again. “We’d like some of the Shamed Ones and Warriors who have surrendered—volunteers only, to land with the Jedi. The more Yuuzhan Vong we have to spread the word, tell the others what we’re there for, that we want to help them and that we’ll take them to Zonama Sekot, the better our chances are of getting the ones still there to help. I’d also like a few Shapers to go, in case anyone gets hurt, invenomated, they could come in handy. There will also likely be Vongformed creatures and plant life around the citadel the Shapers could help them get around.”

“They’re pretty loyal to you, some may want to go early to help on the trek.” Winter said.

Tahiri seemed to mull this over. “I’m not sure any of them would be up for that, but I’ll think about it and we’ll see.”

“And what do we say when Luke wants to know why we haven’t mentioned any of this to him already? Or when he wants to know who our sources are?” Winter asked.

“Actually,” Anakin said, “I think my dear brother may have provided us with a way around that; after this morning it won’t be hard for any of us to appear righteously indignant if Luke asks anything. But aside from that, we can say that the information just came to us through Tahiri’s sources, or that we hadn't had it confirmed yet, or that we hadn't had a chance to mention it yet before Jacen shot his mouth off. We can also tell them to go kriff themselves and…”

“Anakin…” Tahiri gave him a look.

“What?” he asked, trying to sound innocent.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“The point being,” Anakin continued, “they aren't in any position to ask for any proof, or to question our sources, or to ask for anything. Iella, you’re one of the top Intel agents in the galaxy, you’re sitting on a ship full of nearly eight hundred Yuuzhan Vong refugees who have surrendered, to your protégé. Communication lines are down all over, it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that you’d come by this information honestly the way we’re going to claim.”

Wedge looked at his wife. “He’s right, you know. Given the circumstances, I doubt anyone will question us in the next few days, and by the time anyone would think to, this could all be over, and no one will care.”

“I think,” Winter weighed in, “that the less information we parcel out, and the fewer people involved, the better off we’ll be in the long run. That way there will be less to question.”

“I agree.” Iella confirmed. “We’d best pick a Shamed One, or a Shaper, or maybe even a Priest we can trust, write a script, record it, have Tahiri do the translation, then base the plan on that. It will be sketchy, we’ll be appearing to base an important operation on very little, but I can’t see that we have much choice. Not if we can’t tell anyone else how we came by the information to begin with.” Iella turned to Tahiri, “Give me a list tomorrow morning, everything you need, we’ll go over to the refugee craft after lunch and you can ask for your volunteers.Tycho, we’ll have to sit down and figure out how to get them to Coruscant.Winter, we’re going to have to get a hold of Face and run this by him.I’m going to assume you know where he is.”

Winter smiled, but didn’t say anything.

“Should I be concerned that my wife knows how to find Face Loran and you don’t?” Tycho asked Iella.

“No more concerned than you or I should ever be about the things that our wives know and you and I don’t.” Wedge groused.

“Is this what I have to look forward to for the next sixty years? My wife having secrets from me?” Anakin asked the two older men.

“You guys are probably still in that young love, honeymoon phase of telling each other everything even when you’re not supposed to… you have no idea what we go through.” Tycho sighed.

“I just had a thought.” Wedge sighed. “What if Luke wants to go with you guys?”

Anakin scratched his head. “That is that last thing I want, but honestly, I’d be surprised if he doesn't suggest it. I guess I’ll see how I’m feeling when or if it comes up.”

Iella grew serious again. “I’m fully in support of us doing this, but I have to ask: even though you aren't flow walking, isn’t using this information, taking matters into your own hands and making this choice yourselves, still going against what you had decided? You’re not exactly leaving things up to the Force?”

Anakin sighed deeply and looked at his sleeping son for a long moment before turning his eyes back to Iella and answering.

“No, I’m not, and I’m not sure if I’m making the right choice, but it’s the only choice I can live with.”


There's No Other Way/Blur

 

Chapter 20​

​

Some Days Are Better Than Others​

Leia took in the sight before her in awe.

This far corner at the back of Anakin’s hangar had been converted into a child’s dream world. There was a sand pit, grassy area, climbing structure, swing set and slide - built by Anakin and his friends - for Will to play on. According to Jaina, who’d told Leia about the playground, the project had taken months to complete, not just because of the amount of time required to design and assemble everything, but because of the time it had taken Anakin to track down all of the materials.

Apparently the commandos had friends in procurement, and Wedge seemed to turn a blind eye to anything Anakin did; using military funds and resources to build a park on a Super Star Destroyer was not unacceptable if it was for Wedge’s hold son. Though, as far as Leia could tell, there wasn't anything that Anakin did that was unacceptable in Wedge’s eye.

Of course if Leia were honest, she’d felt the same way about Anakin for most of his life.

Taking a deep breath, Leia approached the playground tentatively, not knowing what to expect, not knowing why Tahiri had asked to meet her here.

She’d been surprised when Paloma had pulled her aside after the morning meeting, trying to be inconspicuous, Leia had later realized, and told her that Tahiri wished to see her. Leia had also later realized that Anakin hadn't seen Paloma approach her and must not realize what Tahiri was up to. That could mean one of two things: either Tahiri was up to no good, which Leia wouldn't put past her, or Tahiri was going to attempt an apology, which would be interesting, to say the least.

She was going to try to give the younger woman the benefit of the doubt. Jaina and Han had had nothing but glowing things to say about Tahiri in the last several days; had been nothing but generous in their descriptions of Tahiri as a wife and mother and in their recounts of her treatment of them. She appeared to want to set things right with Anakin’s family. Leia felt it was about time, but wondered if that were even possible after all that had happened. Wondered if Tahiri could even begin to appreciate the damage that she had caused.

Leia supposed she was about to find out.

“Hello, Tahiri.”

Tahiri and Will both looked up from what looked to be machine parts they were bent over, and Tahiri offered her a small smile. Will’s was decidedly larger.

“Gan-ma. Hi.”

Leia was surprised by the child’s enthusiasm. She’d barely spent any time with him since she’d been on ship, had, in fact been startled that he’d even known who she was when Wedge had allowed Leia and the rest of the family back aboard. She had been further surprised when Iella informed her that Will recognized her from holos of the family Tahiri had kept in Will’s nursery since he’d been born.

“Hello, Will.” Figuring it would be easier to talk to the boy, she continued to focus on him as she sat down on the faux grass. “What are you doing?”

“Fissin id.” Will informed, gesturing to what might have once been a toy X-Wing.

“Fix - ing it.” Tahiri corrected gently, then, turning to Leia, “We’re working on our consonants. And our mechanical engineering. Both are a little rough right now.”

Leia smiled wistfully. “I think Anakin was a lot older than two before he got a handle on his consonants.”

“I’m not sure he had a handle on them at eleven.” Tahiri chuckled. “Hard to practice when you don’t talk.”

Leia chuckled with her. “True. Of course having the twins, and then you, to do all his talking for him made it easy.”

“Well, he’s making up for it now. It’s getting hard to shut him up.”

“So I’ve noticed. Would be difficult to run a squad if he was as quiet as he used to be though.”

“Yeah.”

They both fell silent, and Leia marveled at her grandson’s clearly inherited ability to work a miniature hydrospanner, then was casting about for something to say when Will spoke up again.

“Coow-kie por Wiwl?”

Tahiri was reaching into the bag sitting next to her when Leia said, “He sure eats a lot of those.” Then instantly regretted the comment.

Tahiri sighed, handed Will the treat, then handed Leia the package and allowed her time to read the label – MEDICAL WAFER - before explaining.

“Anakin’s system still hasn't recovered fully from what the olbio leaves did. He doesn't absorb nutrients the way he should. Four of these have a quarter of the vitamins and minerals he should get in a day, and they’re easily digestible and fairly high in calories, which Anakin needs to keep weight on.

“When he first moved back in, after we’d broken up, he was eating them all day, couldn't really eat much else. Will was teething at the time and they’d eat them together; sort of a father-son bonding thing. Anakin would lay on the couch with Will sitting on his stomach facing him and they'd feed them to each other. For some reason they don’t have all the same effects on Will that they do on Anakin, but it’s the closest thing Will’s ever had to a real cookie, and he doesn't know the difference; I’m trying to keep it that way.”

Leia felt a little bad for being judgmental, but was more concerned about Anakin’s health. “Is he going to get better?Will his system recover?”

Tahiri sighed. “We don’t know. He’s come so far, and he doesn't throw anything up anymore, which is good. The other major reason he still needs these is that they help regulate his blood sugar. He’s also on dialysis once every two weeks, because his kidneys haven’t completely healed. That’s where he is now actually, in the med center, having dialysis.”

“Would cloned organs help?”

“They would in the short term, but cloned organs degenerate quickly and he’d end being in the same place a few years from now, and a few years after that, repeating the process indefinitely, and the recovery from the transplants is hard on the body, so we’re putting it off, waiting to see if his organs regenerate. Healing trances have helped, but he wishes they’d do more, and faster.”

“I had no idea.”

“He’s embarrassed, hates that his body is weak; likes to pretend that he’s perfectly fine. And for the most part he is, it doesn't really interfere with his day-to-day life that much anymore. Half the time I have to catch him and pin him down to test his blood, it’s sort of become a game. Only a few people besides the medics really know the extent; the Holds, Paloma, the commandos, Valin.”

“He never was one to like anyone seeing him vulnerable.”

“No. But the whole squad’s on to him; they figured out fairly quickly that there was something going on and that it had to do with Myrkr, but none of them have ever said anything. They tease him about his ‘sweet tooth’ and then they all carry these cookies with them, always have them handy. If Anakin ever starts to look a little pale, or gets cranky, which is a sure sign that his blood sugar has plummeted, they pull out cookies. They claim that they have them for Will, or that they can’t get enough of the things themselves. But, they’re really for Anakin. I guess you could say we’re the most well nourished squad in the Fleet. And he lets the med droid test his blood in front of the squad now. They all ignore it, pretend they don’t see it happening, don’t say anything about.”

Leia smiled at that, and was glad to hear that Anakin was so highly regarded. “They seem like a good group,” she commented, referring to the Lumbont pilots.

“They are. And they all think the world of Anakin. Every one of them would do anything for him; and Will and me as well. We’re really fortunate.”

They were both quiet again, focused on Will, only talking to him as Tahiri handed him tools and laughed when he made noises that reminded Leia of Han’s less than appropriate comments while working on the Falcon; evidence that Will had spent time with Anakin while he was working on ships or droids of his own.

Finally - when Leia couldn't stand it anymore - she said, “So, you asked to see me?”

Tahiri hesitated slightly, looked down at her hands, then finally looked Leia in the eye and said, “Yes; I did. I wanted to talk about what happened on Hapes.

“There probably isn’t anything I can ever say that will really convey how sorry I am, or how ashamed I am for the way I acted, and I didn’t ask you here to make excuses for myself or justify my behavior. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, and now that I’m a mother, now that I have my own son, I’ve tried to imagine what it would be like if Will’s wife said the things to me that I said to you, and frankly - I can’t.”

Tahiri looked down again and took a deep breath, then looked back up. “I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me, but I know that our not being able to be in the same room hurts Anakin deeply. Your son and your grandson are my life. I don’t want to see my husband suffer anymore, and I don’t remember my family, I hate that I’m the reason my baby doesn't know his, so I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this better.

“I also want you to know that I’m not apologizing for Anakin, he hasn't asked me to do this, he doesn't even know that I am doing this. His feelings and my feelings are two separate issues. I am doing it because I love him, but also because I am deeply sorry. So if there is a way that we can fix this...” a tear slid down Tahiri’s face as she continued to meet Leia’s gaze and whispered, “I’d really like to try.”

Leia starred at Tahiri for a long moment, not sure what to say, surprised by the maturity she was seeing in the girl - no, woman - and humbled by the fact that she was the one taking the first steps in reaching out.

Suddenly, Leia saw her not as the shrieking, inconsolable harpy hurling insults at her and Jacen, but as the tiny imp holding her little boy’s hand at the academy, as the broken girl Anakin had carried aboard the Errant Venture after rescuing her from the Shapers on Yavin Four, as the teenager always at her son’s side on Eclipse, then as the pregnant, grieving woman on Hapes, and tried to imagine how terrified and lonely Tahiri must have felt, and found that she couldn't.

Even in her darkest hour, even after the destruction of Alderaan, Leia had never been alone.

Finally she said, “You’re right, we should try, and not just for Anakin’s sake, but for our own. It’s not healthy for either one of us to carry this anger. Thank you for this. And I’m sorry too. I’m ashamed of the way I behaved as well. I was the adult. You needed us, you had no one to turn to and we should have protected you like Anakin asked us to, and instead I blamed you and I’m so sorry for that, Tahiri, I’m so sorry.” Leia barely got the last words out before she was crying too.

Then, Leia did something she never would have imagined herself doing an hour ago, she slid across the grass to Tahiri, and wrapped her arms around the younger woman’s neck. Much to her surprise, Tahiri instantly threw her own arms around Leia in a tight embrace as she began to cry earnestly.

“You’re a wonderful woman Tahiri, my son is a very fortunate man, and I’m sorry I allowed my grief and anger to cloud my judgment of you.”

“That’s okay,” Tahiri choked out, “I allowed a lot of things to cloud my judgment of you too.”

“Let’s make a pact not to let it happen again.”

Tahiri snorted a laugh. “Let’s try not to misplace Anakin again while we’re at it, should make things easier.”

A deep voice startled them both and Leia loosed her grip on Tahiri.

“Do I really need to ask you not to strangle my wife?”

Both women looked up to see Anakin approaching and Leia felt lighter than she’d felt in years when she saw the smile on her son’s face as he sat down across from them and reached out to pull his little boy into his lap.

“Hi Dada.”

“Hey, Will of the Force. What are Grandma and Mama doing to each other?” he asked, though his focus was right back on Leia and Tahiri as soon as he had Will in his arms.

“Mama happy.” Will reported.

Anakin kissed his cheek and then turned and smiled at Leia. “I can feel that. It looks like Grandma is happy too.”

“I am. Hello Anakin.”

“Hi mom. So, you’re not strangling my wife?” Despite his smile, he seemed to need verification.

“No, I was thanking her for being a better woman than I am.”

“Ah, wha’d she do now? Bring about galactic peace?”

“Basically. We were just getting a few things straight.”

“Reaching an understanding.” Tahiri added.

And for the first time in a long time Leia felt something like hope.

When Anakin’s smile broadened and he reached out to her, that feeling grew. When Leia moved over to sit beside him and felt him wrap an arm around her and squeeze her in a tight hug and whisper, “I’ve missed you, mom,” and then kiss her head, she thought her heart would burst.

She had her son back.

​

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Leia sat in the large meeting room aboard the Lusankya watching her son and daughter-in-law in wonder. They were really, really beginning to impress her.

No, she realized, they did impress her.

They reminded her of herself and the other young people who had spearheaded the rebellion against the Empire all those years ago.

They were talented, brave, ambitious and full of the kind of drive and ideas that the older and more seasoned warriors present were too old and tired to execute themselves.

Or too smart.

Tahiri was in control - leading the meeting; briefing the Wraiths, who had only just arrived from who knew where; briefing the Yuuzhan Vong, who had just been transferred from the refugee vessel in Wedge’s fleet; briefing the various squadron leaders chosen to participate in the attacks being plotted out.

Tahiri was in her element. She’d been trained by the best.

Iella and Winter stood by and watched, their pride evident, their confidence in Tahiri clear for all to see. They had the utmost faith in the plan she and Anakin had drawn up and that faith bolstered everyone else’s willingness to go along.

Which was a good thing because this plan was crazy.

Leia wasn't happy with Anakin and Tahiri’s desire for their early insertion. She didn’t like that they refused to wait until the aerial assault was being launched to start their attack, as Luke at originally requested. However, if their sources were correct, if Shimmra really was either a front for the actual leader of the Vong - a phenomenal bit of Intel if true – or was somehow leading the enemy in conjunction with this Shamed One, Omini, an even more phenomenal revelation, and either of them was capable of escaping Coruscant and therefore able to further the Vong’s war effort, then Anakin and Tahiri were right in this being their best option for success.

More frightening, and further evidence that the Jedi were needed to pull this mission off, was Tahiri’s belief that Omini could touch the Force.

Her sources hadn't been able to provide conclusive evidence, and Leia couldn't shake the feeling that there was something amiss about how Tahiri’s sources had come by this information to begin with, but what choice did the Jedi have but to act on it?

Leia hated that once again her family was going to be at the heart of the most dangerous part of an already dangerous situation; wished that for once someone else’s family would – could - step up to the task, but had to concede that this is how she had raised her children; to step up, just as she and Han and Luke always had.

Anakin and Tahiri had impressed her with numerous things over the past few days, not the least of which was with the conversation the three had had in Will’s playground.

After the tearful apologies, after the hugs and forgiveness, Anakin had finally explained to his mother how it was that he had been left behind on the worldship.

He told her about the warrior he’d been fighting as Jacen had jumped aboard the Flier who had lunged forward in his last moments of life and ripped the mic off Anakin’s throat, making it impossible for Anakin to call Jaina for help. He’d told her how the concussions caused by the firefight between the team and the coral skippers overhead had rocked the ground, causing him to lose his balance and fall into a pit of dead warriors; one of which had an ysalamiri strapped to his back. He’d explained how he’d watched the strike team fly away, leaving him stranded, and how when he’d finally clawed his way out of the pit, far enough away from the ysalamiri to touch the Force again, he’d called out to his brother and sister; they hadn't heard or felt him, but he’d known that Tahiri had.

Leia had felt sickened as she realized that that was why Tahiri had been so sure that Anakin wasn't dead when the strike team had left the worldship; because she’d felt him calling out to her. No one had believed her of course, they had all insisted that in her grief she had imagined that she had felt Anakin; that she’d simply been in denial; refusing to accept that he was gone.

Anakin then told Leia about how he’d hijacked a coral skipper and gotten off the worldship, only to realize within minutes that the ship was sick, dying, and then how he’d crashed on Myrkr. It was when he’d ‘landed’ on the planet, by that point over run with ysalamiri thanks to the Vong’s destruction of the world’s natural ecological balance, that he and Tahiri had finally lost contact.

When he’d eventually made it off Myrkr, over a year later, he’d been so wounded, so disoriented and near death; that his presence in the Force was too murky for Tahiri to recognize, and, Anakin had said, in all honesty, after being cut off from the Force for so long, he wasn't sure if he was actually reaching for her at that point, or just picturing her in his mind. Sometimes, he had said, towards the end, he wasn't sure he remembered what Tahiri even looked like.

Anakin had surprised Leia when he’d said that as angry as he’d been at being left behind, he’d never really been angry with Jaina and Jacen for leaving him. He’d known all along that it had just been a horrible mistake, an awful set of circumstances, and that he’d known all along that they’d never have done it if they’d had the slightest idea that he’d been alive. His anger at them, and the rest of the family, had stemmed not from his siblings abandonment, but rather his anguish over not being able to protect Tahiri from what she had suffered in the wake of his ‘death’. Leia hadn't been surprised when he said that his issue with Jacen now was really the same issue he’d had with Jacen prior to Myrkr; that Jacen was a self-righteous pain in the ass, but that he’d be able to overlook that, as he had before, if Jacen wasn't so awful to his wife.

Leia wasn't able to argue with Anakin on either of those points, so she left it alone.

She later sensed that Jacen wasn't thrilled that Leia had found a truce with Tahiri, because now he was the only Solo not singing her praises. She also noticed that he was now standing even closer to, and always seemed to be sitting with, Luke and Mara.

Leia had long known that Luke’s issues with Tahiri were complicated. Having been the one to find her on Tatooine, his own childhood home, he’d always felt a connection to her. After she had been forced to choose between her tribe and the academy for good, when she no longer had the option of going back to Tatooine, his feelings of obligation and protectiveness became stronger than what he felt for any of his other students, though his frequent absences from the academy likely didn’t help convey to Tahiri any sense that he saw her as special.

He’d already been harboring a tremendous amount of guilt over her capture on Yavin Four when he’d been hit with the double blow of Anakin’s ‘death’ and finding out that Tahiri was pregnant, at sixteen, with Anakin’s child. He later told Leia that he felt responsible for the pregnancy too, blamed himself for not keeping a closer eye on them. He felt he had failed Tahiri once again by not being more aware of what was happening between her and Anakin in the wake of her ordeal. Leia was relatively sure that Luke genuinely believed at the time that sending Tahiri to the Maw was in her best interest; that he was very specifically trying to do the right thing, to make up for not having done the right thing by Tahiri in the past.

Tahiri hadn't seen it that way. She thought Luke was banishing her to escape a living, breathing reminder of some of Luke’s worst decisions; a living, breathing reminder with a mouth, which she was not above using to tell him of just how bad she thought some of those decisions had been.

Mara, though trying to appear neutral, had nonetheless supported Luke in what Tahiri believed was Luke’s attempt to dump her off on Kam and Tionne. They had both been highly insulted by Tahiri’s resignation from the Order, feeling that the gesture was a giant ‘kriff off’. Luke and Mara felt she could have worked for Iella as long as she wanted to without having actually resigned. That, combined with Tahiri’s accusation of their ‘blind support of every breath Jacen took’ in his side in the war of words and emotions between Tahiri and the rest of the family had made a difficult situation worse.

In some ways, Leia thought the rift between Luke and Tahiri would require more to fix than the one between herself and Tahiri because she was pretty sure that Tahiri was utterly oblivious to just how deeply Luke cared for her. Misguided as her brother could be at times, as his little stunt with asking that Anakin fly while Tahiri participate in the Jedi ground assault proved, his heart was in the right place.

Still, all that aside, Leia wasn't sure Luke and Mara would ever take any steps on their own to smooth things over with Anakin and Tahiri. More than likely Luke would wait for them to go to him and ask to be reinstated as Knights of the Order. Leia couldn't see happening anytime soon. Anakin and Tahiri were really happy being pilots and Intel agents.

Their upcoming four day trek through Coruscant would be interesting; Luke and Mara and Jacen with Anakin and Tahiri and Jaina, a few Wraiths, and a handful of Yuuzhan Vong. Leia would love to be a flitterbug hovering close enough to hear some of those campfire talks. What kinds of conversation would take place at night? Or during the endless walking through Vongformed land? Leia wondered if she’d still have two sons and a brother when this was over; and if the Vong would have anything to do with it if she didn’t.

Han, sitting beside her, brought her focus back to the meeting - he’d made some wisecrack - she was sure. She hadn't heard what he’d actually said, but after thirty-five years it hardly mattered – likely something to the tune of what a ridiculous plan this was and that the kids were crazy.

Same old Han.

Her husband had been nearly jubilant since the playground truce; following Anakin around with a swagger that only a proud father could pull off; basking in the reflection of his son’s popularity and brilliance, the heat of that brilliance warming him after too long. He was so happy to do anything he could just to be near Anakin, hand him a hydrospanner when he needed it, adjust a thruster if asked. Anything he could do for his son; he was there.

He was even more delighted to finally get to spend time with Will. He seemed to be trying to make up for lost time; squeezing two years of being a grandfather into a few days. He’d carry their grandson around on his shoulders to where ever the child wanted to go, make as many sand castles as the kid wanted, push him on his swing until Han’s arm was numb. He read to him, chased him, spent a considerable amount of time explaining the finer points of the Falcon’s hyper drive motivator to him.

Anakin teased that Will stood as much chance of understanding that as anyone else in the family.

And then there was Tahiri.

Han was hardly above taking credit for being the one to hook Tahiri up with Iella, thereby being the architect of her brilliant Intel career. He obviously adored the young woman, always had, and was taking delight in finally being allowed to show that adoration openly. And the romantic in him couldn't hide his joy in seeing first-hand how much she and Anakin loved each other.

He was also thrilled to be able to hang out with Wedge and Tycho again, to be accepted and approved of, to feel they respected him again and that the troubles that had created the chasm within the Solo family were being addressed and no longer threatening other relationships.

At least not Han’s.

He was pretty clear that Luke and Mara and Jacen were on their own.

And, as if all that weren’t powering his repulsors enough, there was Anakin’s squad, who, when not actually working, would sit for hours, en rapt, as Han entertained them with stories of his decades of death defying escapades. Several of them commented that they could clearly see where Anakin had come by his talent and his cockiness and it surprised Leia to realize that her son had grown to be more like his father than she had ever imagined he would.

Her younger son was far more Solo than Skywalker, though why that should surprise her, she didn’t know.


Some Days Are Better Than Others/U2

 

#18 - what a briefing that was! A/T still have that wonderful way of being so open with one another and really truly listening.

#19: Disclosures and revelations lead to amazing strategies.

#20 - I loved this one the mostest! The Leia/Tahiri scene - awwww. Warmth and honesty and truly wanting to make things better. And Will you can tell - he was a bridge there between them at the start, made things smoother.

Super insights about Luke.

Woot, Grampa Han - is there anything more delightful?

 

Wow. What great chapters. And emotional ones at that.
Leia has made peace. Thank god.
Now to deal with Jacen and Luke.
All of them on Coruscant?
This won't end well.
Not sure if I asked this or not but will the other Skywalkers/Solo's find out about Older Tahiri?

 

OH. MY. GOSH.
WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN IN PROFIC!?!!!?!??
I LOVE THIS SO STINKIN' MUCH!!!!

Well...its now 12:15am and I have to be up in six hours. So I'm going to come back and edit this post tomorrow and gush at how much I love this and how much I'm THRILLED to see what should have happened. No. This is what happened. The EU is "legends" now, right?? SO THIS IS AN OFFICIAL PART OF MY LEGENDS NOW!!! Suck it, del Rey.

p.s.-- Nyota's Heart This is all your fault for telling me about this...I'm going to be so tired tomorrow but it doesn't matter because I'm a quivering pile of happy smiles now, and I LOVE IT!!

EDIT: Well, now I'm back from work, exhausted but with the urge to read the whole thing over again. I guess I'll just hit the highlights of what I love so this doesn't turn into the longest reply in the history of the boards:

**"Older Tahiri" and her trying to fix things in a way Jacen never did, because he really didn't want change (also a great point!). Also, love the insertion point--Mykyr is where the tide turned, for sure.
**Post-"kinda!Dead Anakin Tahiri. I know that she lost it on H/L and L/M....but I am 100% on her side. She was totally right, and I would have done the same thing.
**Sneaky!Han!!! I LOVE SNEAKY HAN SO MUCH!! I love that he and Leia were pretending around each other to not see the holos of Will (btw--BEST. Name. Ever) and that he was the one who set Tahiri up with Iella, and that he was trying to do his best by Anakin and keep the family intact (which Anakin would have wanted I think)
**BA Tahiri! She's so cool! And Mom!Tahiri is so sweet and possessive and I love it (Love her MD droid obsession) And the way she just TOOK CONTROL of Anakin once he came back and she put the smackdown on all of them!!
**Anakin trying to get her back once he messed it all up. So sweet!
**Their squadron together is amazing. Your banter is incredible, I was literally laughing my butt off.
**High/Playful Tahiri and happy Anakin at the party was amazing. I love how they made everyone horny haha!!! And the simulator fight with Valin was perfect.
**Also, I love how Jaina was the first to be surprised by Anakin being a total awesome leader, and I love how she was the first one to let go and try to make amends.
**Jacen getting his face bashed in. BEST/MOST SATISFYING. THING. EVER!!!!!! Gosh I've been wanting to do that myself for YEARS!!!!


Enough for now. I cannot WAIT for you to update!! Will you tag me pretty please? This is like seriously my new fav story.

Irish

 

Ok... I was going to respoind and update ages ago, and then wandered into the 50 Titles Challange thread and lost time...

Nyota's Heart: Hey honey! Thanks for the continued love! And for telling Irish about Fragile! I'm glad you liked Grandpa Han. I am trying to bring everyone back together.

Force Smuggler: Hello there! No I did not tell you whether everyone else finds out about Older Tahiri... and I'm still not going to!

Irish: You are awesome and thank you so much for your love and response. I'm loving how much you're loving this and hope you'll continue to love as it goes on.
My kids introduced me to a new phrase the other day 'brain canon'. I'm not sure if it's what we wished had happened in pro fic or what we imagine and are too lazy to actually write down as fan fic, Regardless when I read your thing about how this is now your canon, I giggled and thought of Brain Canon!

Rushing out to edit and post next chapter.

Elle

 

Chapter 21​

​

Reluctantly Crouched At The Starting Line​

Anakin was trying really hard to put on a brave face, to be the strong man he knew he was supposed to be, but the sight before him threatened to bring him to his knees.

His wife, his precious wife, stood before him in the hall leading to their hangar, trying to hold herself together, as she prepared herself to say goodbye to their little boy.

Through all the mission planning that had gone on, through all the plotting, and rehashing, and weapons checks and strategizing, and alternate plans and contingency plans, Anakin and Tahiri had deftly avoided discussing this moment. They’d pretended to themselves that rather than being home in time to feed Will dinner and give him a bath and tuck him at the end of the day, like usual, they’d just be away a little longer than normal.

This mission would just be a little longer than most.

They both acted as though there wasn't any chance that this morning might be the last they’d ever spend with their son, or that they’d spend together as a family. They’d already been robbed of so much time, so they both tried to banish any comparisons to that long ago morning on Eclipse when they’d said goodbye to each other and pretended that Anakin was going to be home in a few days.

Until last night.

After making love, Anakin had made a big show of putting Tahiri’s nightgown back on her; dressing her, while they both laughed, like he would Will. When she asked him why he was putting her clothes back on her, after having made such a production of taking them off, he’d kissed her and told her he’d be right back.

When he’d returned a few minutes later, Will cradled in his arms, Tahiri had stopped laughing, nodded her head, and begun to cry.

Anakin lay Will down next to her, then slid into bed himself, pulling his wife and his son as close to himself as he could, well aware that this was exactly what he and Tahiri had done the night before he’d left for the Voxyn mission. Will was just bigger and outside of Tahiri this time.

He’d hoped that the gesture might take some of the sting out of saying goodbye now, that having Will between them, and finally talking about what they were about to do, in whispered tones so as not to wake their son, admitting that what they were embarking on was as dangerous a mission as anything they’d ever done and that they were scared, might make it easier for them to hold it together.

It didn’t; they were both miserable and they both knew Will could feel it.

Now, Anakin watched as his son refused to release his hold on a fistful of Tahiri’s hair; instead, he twisted and twirled the flaxen strands through his fingers, a self-soothing habit he’d developed when only a few months old. He watched as Will refused to pull his head up from where he’d buried it in Tahiri’s neck, refused to allow Tahiri to pull his thumb from his mouth—another self-soothing habit, though this one he only indulged in when overly tired or he could feel stress emanating off the grown-ups around him.

The worst part of watching all of this was knowing that Tahiri didn’t want to be peeling their son off of herself and handing him over to Winter, who was waiting out in the hangar; Tahiri wanted to hold Will tightly and race back to their rooms; hide under the blankets and not come out until the coast was clear and this kriffing war was over.

Anakin felt the same way. But neither one of them was going to do that.

“Come here, buddy.” Anakin said gently, as he wedged an arm in between his wife and son and tried to pull Will over. “Dada wants some love too.”

Will released his thumb from his mouth and wound that arm around Anakin’s neck, but still wouldn't let go of Tahiri’s hair, so Anakin pulled them both to him, tucked his head down between both of their curly blonde heads, and opened himself to the Force. He wrapped them both in a tight bond of love, felt them both reach back, felt them weave the threads of light that they were through his own presence, and prayed he wasn't lying when he whispered, “Mama and Dada will be home soon.”

“Mama Dada wuv Wiwl.”

Tahiri laughed gently through her tears. “Yes, angel.” She whispered as she stroked his head. “Mama and Dada love you very much. You be a good boy for Winter and the guys, okay? And we’ll be back as soon as we can.”

Before Will could respond a gentle throat clearing sounded ahead of them.

Anakin had felt him coming and almost wanted to laugh. He couldn't imagine who thought sending Jacen to find them was a good idea, but there he was. He actually felt sorry for his brother. But Anakin had to admit, something had changed in the last few days; a shift had taken place and the angry red and purple hues he always saw in the Force when his brother was near had lightened; had begun to fade to soft yellows and blues.

Anakin suspected that it might have been brought about by the talk Han had had with Jacen after ‘the big breakfast’. Or, maybe it had something to do with the talk Leia had had with Jacen after ‘the big breakfast’. Or the talks Luke and Mara had with him.

Or, maybe, it had something to do with another incident that Jag had filled Anakin in on. It involved lightsabers, and one very pissed off petite brunette who had to be peeled off her twin before cybernetic limb replacement was required.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Jacen said quietly. “The Yuuzhan Vong are already on board and Face is getting antsy. He sent a few of us to look for you.”

Tahiri chuckled as she turned and looked up. “And you were the unfortunate one who got sent in this direction?”

Anakin was pleased to note that there was no venom in her voice. As angry as he’d been at all of them after he’d heard what had happened between her and his family on Hapes, Tahiri was the only one he had any sort of influence over. He had told her that they were adults now, parents, and that they needed to stop shooting their mouths off. She seemed to understand that what he really meant was that she needed to stop shooting her mouth off and he was relieved when she appeared to take his admonishment to heart without getting angry or defensive. She had gotten much better, and he was proud of her.

“Yeah… sorry.” Jacen said.

“It’s okay,” Anakin soothed, then he unleashed what he’d found to be the all-purpose weapon against discomfort in adults; he nudged Will’s head with his chin and said, “Can you say ‘hi’ to Uncle Jacen?”

Tahiri took Will back and started toward the hangar as Will smiled, albeit anemically for him, and said, “Hi, unka Ace-uhn.”

“Hi Will,” Jacen returned as he fell in step beside Anakin and they followed Tahiri out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

The vibe in Anakin’s hangar was a little morose. But what had he expected?

His parents and aunt and uncle were all there, Luke and Mara waiting to board the transport for Coruscant, Han and Leia saying their goodbyes.

Jaina was standing with Jag and the Antilles; Jag would be flying with the Lumbonts under Paloma’s command.

Anakin was very proud of Lomi.

He’d had a feeling, once he’d gotten to know her, that she had the potential to be something great, that there was more there than just a nanny hidden behind her smile, even more there than just a friend.

After Anakin and Tahiri had reconciled, the second time, while he was still trying to build his squad, he decided he wasn't happy with Tahiri spending all day every day in an office away from him. Anakin’s solution to that; teach her to fly an X-Wing and make her his XO.

Tahiri had reservations, the most prominent of which was the fact that she already had a job that she really loved. There was also the fact that Iella depended heavily on Tahiri because she was Intel’s leading Yuuzhan Vong expert, and the Yuuzhan Vong weren’t surrendering on the condition they be brought to Iella and Winter; they were surrendering to Tahiri.

Anakin’s solution to that had been to convince Iella to make his squad an Intel unit that answered to her as much as to Wedge and to let Tahiri fly with him part time.

It ended up being a lot of work for Tahiri, but one of the nice things about all those years of Jedi training was her ability to use short trances in lieu of actual sleep. Everything was looking great, everyone was happy, the squad was almost ready to start flying when, on a whim, Anakin threw Paloma into a simulator one day when he was working with Tahiri.

And Paloma blew him away.

Tahiri was furious at Anakin for poaching Paloma; she’d had a hell of a time with nannies. She got very few volunteers to care for her baby after the first nanny had been killed on Denon. Several others had left or had been asked to leave because they couldn't handle Will’s Force sensitivity; it either scared them or they found it creepy – Tahiri had wanted to strangle the little brat who’d referred to Will as creepy – but even with all the difficulty before she’d found Paloma, at least she’d been on ship to keep a close eye on Will and whoever personnel had thrown at her to babysit that week. There was no way in hell she was leaving Will with a stranger so she and Paloma could go off flying with Anakin. She didn’t care if the commandos were there or not; their job was to keep their eyes open, their blasters set to kill, and to destroy anything that came near her son. They didn’t change diapers, fix bottles, or sing lullabyes.

As usual, Anakin had a solution; make the squad larger than average and always leave at least one pilot on the Lusankya with the commandos to watch over Will.

Once Tahiri had cooled off, she and Paloma had been highly amused by Anakin adding questions pertaining to whether a pilot liked children, or had any prior experience with children, to his interviewing process. He also essentially gave Will the final say in selecting his pilots. After they’d met all of Anakin’s other criteria, he placed each of the men and woman in an interrogation room, complete with one way observation glass, and watched to see what Will thought of them.

It had bummed Anakin out a little when he’d had to cut a couple of pilots he really liked because Will had cried inconsolably from the moment Anakin had left the room. He’d ended up writing highly complementary evaluations for them though, and was pretty sure they were thriving in other squadrons.

Anakin’s solutions ended up working nicely though. Even on days that Tahiri was in her Intel office and another pilot was with her and the security team to help with Will, Anakin still had a full squadron to back him in space, and usually Paloma was flying his wing.

He took the same glee in watching Lomi take down pilot after pilot in simms as Tycho did watching Tahiri, and Anakin had the utmost faith in her ability to handle the squad during this mission; Lumbonts would be covering the Falcon when Han and Leia swooped in, undoubtedly, just barely in time to pull their family out of the havoc they were planning on wreaking planetside.

Some things were simply destined to be—and Anakin doubted anyone standing in his hangar as he, Jacen and Tahiri entered, would bother to pretend otherwise at this point.

Anakin spotted the commandos and the Celchus in last-minute conversation with the Wraiths.

Face was a god in Bram’s book; Face was what Bram wanted to be when he grew up.

When the war was over and Will and Tahiri were no longer on Shimmra’s hit list, when Bram no longer spent his time killing Yuuzhan Vong and Vong-sympathizing infiltrators on the floor of the hangar next to Anakin’s when they tried to get at Anakin’s wife and son, then Bram, and probably Stoker and Junip, judging by the way they drooled over Kell Tainer, would love to become Wraiths themselves. Anakin hoped they’d get the opportunity. He’d be happy to sign those transfer orders when the time came. The guys deserved the honor and the prestige for all they’d done.

Iella and Winter both noticed their arrival, and Anakin caught them excusing themselves from the groups they were talking to, watched as they began to make their way over and felt Tahiri stiffen beside him. The rest of the group noticed them too.

Face and Kell nodded and headed to the transport as the commandos and the Lumbonts raised hands, chins, and arms in salute and filed out various doors to go busy themselves elsewhere.

They’d all said their goodbyes last night.

Jaina smiled over and took Jag’s hand and led him toward the boarding ramp for what Anakin assumed would be a private farewell.

Luke and Mara hugged Han and Leia, and they, along with Jacen, turned away from the Solos and headed off themselves.

Paloma was the first in the hangar to actually reach Anakin’s side. He hadn't even seen her with the others, but she did have a way of sneaking up on him. It wasn't a surprise that Valin was hot on her trail.

“Hey, boss.”

“Lomi.”

Anakin had already given her all the instructions and pep talks she needed. She knew what she was supposed to do; she was supposed to shoot straight, fly fast and get her ass back home with all the rest of the kids in front of her, so he just reached out and wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on top of her big red head.

“Keep her out of trouble, okay?” Paloma said, as she nodded toward Tahiri.

“Uh…” Tahiri defended, “I’m not taking Valin with me, so I’m not going to need to be kept out of trouble.”

“Yeah, like it’s my fault you’re a crash artist.” Valin teased. Then he put his arms around Tahiri and Will, leaned his cheek against hers and said, “Stay safe, I don’t want to have to break in new wing mate. As big a pain in the ass as you are, I’ve finally got you trained up the way I like.”

Tahiri smiled and said, “Star food.”

Valin smiled too, then turned his face and whispered something in Tahiri’s ear that Anakin didn’t hear but made her giggle. He stood back and cupped her face and got very serious. “I’ll see you soon, loudmouth,” he said, before reaching up and kissing her forehead.

Valin took Paloma’s hand, pulled her away from Anakin and offered a lazy salute. “An ale on me for every bad guy you take down, sir.”

Anakin saluted back just as lazily, “I don’t pay you that much, Horn.”

“I look forward to working it off then,” he called as he turned and wrapped his arm around Paloma, who, Anakin could feel, was crying.

“I think that’s everyone.” Winter said gently.

Anakin looked around and saw that, indeed, the hangar was clear, but for his parents and the Holds.

He watched Tycho and Wedge each hug Tahiri, then he saluted them, smartly, like he was supposed to, and bit the corner of his lip as they saluted back and turned and marched away.

Neither one of them were big on goodbyes and that was fine, Anakin was about spent anyway, and Tahiri was crying and holding Will so tightly against her chest that Anakin was pretty sure it was going to take everything he had to pry their son out of her arms.

He hugged his dad and his mom and then Iella and Winter, but didn’t say anything to any of them—they’d already said it all, a hundred times before; then he turned to Tahiri and cupped her cheek.

“We have to go, my love.”

“I know.”

“You need to say goodbye.”

“I know,” she whispered as tears streaked down her face.

For a crazy second he thought about telling her to stay, telling her not to go with him, to screw the plans. They didn’t need a translator, they didn’t need the Jeedai Who Was Shaped to galvanize the Shamed Ones; she should stay there and protect their son like she did when he’d gone to Myrkr, and in one of those rare crystal clear moments like that day they’d been arrested on Eriadu, she seemed to know exactly what was going through his mind and she said, “No.” Then she kissed Will’s head and pulled him away from her and said, “I love you.” And then pushed him into Winter’s arms and ran to the transport.

Anakin sucked in a breath, startled at both the lightning fast speed at which all those thoughts had raced through his mind and at the fact that Tahiri had caught all of them, and at the emotion pouring off of her and Will, who was now crying too.

He leaned over and took Will’s face in his hands, and kissed his forehead, then pulled back, and looked into his bright green eyes, Tahiri’s eyes, and said, “Dada loves you too. I’ll bring mama home soon, I promise.”

Then he turned and ran after Tahiri.

Reluctantly Crouched At The Starting Line/Cake

 

Chapter 22​

​

Roll Up For The Mystery Tour​

Yuuzhan’tar

Jacen starred out at the landscape before him and felt like he would cry.

It wasn't so much that he missed the cityscape of Coruscant, it wasn't that he missed the durcacrete or traffic or congestion of the world he’d been born on. It was that he was stunned by the transformation of his home.

How could so much change have occurred in so little time?

Jacen was painfully aware of what destruction had been wrought in order to bring about the change; of what had been torn down, of what had been killed, who had been killed, the billions who had lost their lives in order to bring about the changes that had taken place. For the first time he felt a little of the righteous anger he had seen as a flaw in his brother for so long.

He glanced over at Anakin -Tahiri, as always, right there at his side. With their bedrolls and backpacks they almost looked, again, like a couple of kids on vacation, as opposed to soldiers embarking on a strike against the Supreme Overlord of the Yuuzhan Vong. They were standing with Face Loran and Kell Tainer, smiling at something one or both of the renowned agents were saying.

It was only when Anakin passed Tahiri a bandoleer hung heavily with concussion and fragmentation grenades that the vacation vibe disappeared.

Tahiri, as was apparently her habit, was armed to the hilt. She was wearing that hair clip again. According to Mara it was actually a bomb. Mara had also reminded Jacen that there were knives in the toes of Tahiri’s boots, triggered when she smacked her heel against the ground. She also had knives in her boots. The weapons he could see, aside from the grenades, were the two lightsabers hanging from the equipment belt slung low on her hips, and the very large blaster strapped to her thigh.

Jacen had recently realized that Tahiri must have a violent streak, and he wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. It would make sense; she had been raised for several years by Sand People. Jacen wondered if that was part of the attraction for Anakin. It would fit with Anakin’s tendency to swing first and ask questions later.

Jacen caught himself once again studying their current demeanor, was once again taken aback by the idea that everything seemed so easy for them, and in a flash Jacen wondered if Tahiri had been right back on Hapes when she’d accused him of being jealous of Anakin.

He’d hated to think that he was, hated to think that all this time it was resentment or envy that fueled his disdain for how Anakin lived his life and made his choices. He liked to think that he was a better person than that, that he was more thoughtful and circumspect. He liked to believe that he made his own decisions and had his own ideas based on his own sense of morality and that his disagreements with his brother stemmed from honest differences in opinions and that it was Anakin’s fault that those differences so often led to arguments rather than simple acceptance that different people could hold different ideals.

He was beginning to think that maybe that wasn't the case after all.

He’d worked so hard over the past five years to see things in a different light than how Anakin saw things, tried to view this war and the enemy and the Force in a way that was more holistic and less aggressive than his brother did. But turning back to the view of the landscape, thinking back to the mindless slaughter of beings he’d seen on all the other planets the Vong had taken, the destruction of other worlds, he had to admit, enough was enough.

Maybe Anakin was right; there was a time and a place for everything. When this was over, he could go about preaching, or rather teaching peace, but right now, that wasn't possible. Right now, the Vong had to be stopped.

He stepped closer to his brother and sister-in-law, curious as to what they found funny, what they were discussing with the legendary Wraith members that was making them smile in the midst of their surroundings. He was pretty sure Face had just asked Anakin how long it had been since he’d been to Coruscant. Anakin must have been as surprised by the planet’s transformation as he’d been, though he wasn't sure why they would have been laughing at that.

Jacen took another step closer to hear, stood beside Anakin; waited for his brother’s response as he waited for them all to start the trek.

“Four years, a little longer.” Anakin was telling Face. “The night I left to go to Yavin.”

“Ah,” Face said. “Your first foray into sneaking off to save the galaxy.”

Jacen watched as Anakin reach for Tahiri’s hand, brought it up to his mouth and kissed her palm as he began walking, fell in step behind Luke, as he, Face and Mara started walking, began to lead the way through the shrubs and tall grass, the rest of the group following.

“Nah,” Anakin finally answered, “just my girlfriend. I didn’t start sneaking off to save the galaxy until a few months later.”

“I wasn't your girlfriend yet then, dummy.” Tahiri corrected from beside him.

“True… just my best friend.”

“Your partner in crime.” She laughed back.

“Now there’s an apt description.” Luke muttered, from directly ahead of Anakin.

“Are you implying that we were difficult children, Uncle Luke?” Anakin asked, and even Jacen couldn't help but smile.

If not difficult, they’d certainly all been adventurous children.

“Of course not, Anakin. You and Tahiri were model students. Always in bed on time, always where you were supposed to be, never in the med center, never giving me or Kam or Tionne any cause for worry or concern.”

Tahiri was laughing again, until Anakin hooked a thumb in her direction and said; “Hey, blame it on her; I never got into any trouble until she came into my life.”

Tahiri’s smile faded and her Force presence became very still as she sighed and said, “That’s me; causing nothing but trouble for the Solo family since 21 ABY.”

Jacen could tell that Anakin regretted his comment, and was amused as he watched his little brother try to smooth things over with his wife.

“But worth every bump and bruise.” Anakin told her as he pulled on her arm, pulled her closer, and kissed her neck quickly before she pulled away and continued walking. “And you were smokin’ hot in that little orange jumpsuit.”

Luke made a slight throat-clearing noise as Tahiri said, “Oh, brother.” Then she sighed indulgently. “And you wonder why people assume the worst about us.”

It took Jacen a second to figure out why Luke was radiating discomfort, but he didn’t have a chance to think too much about it before his brother cut back in.

“Now what could you possibly be referring to, Agent Veila?”

Luke made another noise and Tahiri giggled.

“As if you don’t know.” Then she added, “You’re bad news, Colonel Solo.”

“Because orange turned me on?”

This time Luke huffed, and Tahiri snorted. Mara, who was ahead of Jacen, and to the right of Luke, shot Anakin a look over her shoulder, but Jacen could feel the humor coming off of his brother when he continued his compliments with, “It went so well with your complexion.”

“You’re horrible,” Tahiri scolded, as she rolled her eyes. “I was fourteen in the orange.”

Anakin laughed again.

“Okay, enough.” Luke was clearly not as amused as Anakin or Tahiri. “As one of the adults charged with watching over you at that age, I’m not finding the orange jumpsuit bit funny.”

“I never found it funny. That was an awful color.” Tahiri complained.

“But it set off your eyes so beautifully.”

“Anakin.” Mara, Luke and Tahiri all cried in unison.

Anakin just laughed some more.

“So,” Jaina began, from behind Tahiri, “She wasn't your girlfriend when you went to Yavin?”

“Nope.” Anakin replied.

Tahiri giggled again. “Here it comes.”

“Here what comes?” Jaina asked.

“So who wins?” This time it was Kell asking the question, and Jacen could tell he was trying to sound innocent, though Jacen had no idea why.

“I’m not sure anyone wins, since technically, Anakin sort of brought the whole thing up himself,” Face informed him, obviously in on whatever Kell was asking about.

“I’m not sure anyone wins, since technically, no one’s actually asked the question,” Tahiri informed them both.

“Wins what?” Mara asked, and Jacen couldn't tell what was frustrating her more; the conversation, or the vines tangled around her ankles. She unhooked her lightsaber from her belt and cut at the vines, then cut the blade off and glanced back at Anakin.

“The bet,” Anakin informed her.

“What bet?” Jaina asked.

To Jacen’s amazement, it was Huane, the Yuuzhan Vong Shaper Tahiri had insisted on bringing along on the trek, walking behind Anakin, who supplied the answer to Jaina’s question.

“It would seem, and please to excuse me not always better Basic. It would seem, many think bad things to regards relationship of Tahiri domain Veila and Anakin domain Solo because they have not reached mature age before marriage. The bet is when you ask they become couple.”

Jacen watched in shock as his brother laughed out loud and then turned and offered the Shaper a high five while her cheeks turned a slight shade of lavender, which Jacen assumed was the closest thing to a blush a Vong got.

Tahiri stopped and put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at Anakin.

“And you wonder why I never want to take you to work with me.”

“You said to work with her on her Basic,” Anakin defended.

“Yeah, conversational Basic, ‘Hello, my name is Huane’, ‘How are you today?’ Not the history of our relationship or gambling.”

“Ah,” Tron, one of the Shamed Ones, walking beside Kell, said, “Idiot’s Array?”

Even Luke laughed at that and Tahiri dropped her head into her hands, but then lifted it back up and glared at Anakin.

“Excuse me, Tahiri domain Veila,” Huane said, coming to Anakin’s defense, “Anakin domain Solo also helped me with… astro-navigation.”

Tahiri moaned and Anakin raised his hands, palms up, in a classic Han Solo ‘what?’ pose.

“You taught her to program jumps?”

“If there had been an emergency, you would have been thanking me.” Anakin said.

“Unbelievable.” Tahiri sighed as she unclipped her lightsaber and hacked at some vines around her ankles.

“Excuse me, Tahiri domain Veila, but Anakin domain Solo also taught me to count time, and I am also in charge of bet. As of,” Huane stepped over to Anakin, and none to gently, twisted his arm around, causing him to yelp, and everyone else to laugh. Looking at Anakin’s wrist chrono, Huane continued, “As of 109 minutes into journey, no being has asked the control question. We have no winner.”

They all began walking again, in silence until Jacen finally asked; “Well?”

“Well, what?” This time it was Kell who answered, playing innocent again.

“When did you become a couple?” Mara gritted out.

Face turned back and looked at Huane pointedly. “Time.”

“Not yet,” Anakin t’sked, then, turning back to Mara, “Can you define what you mean by ‘couple’?”

Tahiri seemed to find her humor again and laughed.

It was Jaina who finally nearly wailed, “what kind of break down do you want? When did you first kiss?”

“Time.” Face called to Huane again.

Anakin stopped walking and made a production of showing his chrono to Huane

“One-hundred fourteen minutes. The award is for Colonel Celchu.”

“He’s always the big winner.” Kell complained.

“You’d almost think he had the Force.” Face added.

Anakin smirked, unhooked his lightsaber, and cut away at some vines near his feet, then cut at some vines near Luke’s, then resumed walking as he said to his sister; “In answer to your question, Jaina, it was in a locker on an airless space station in orbit over Yag’Dhul.”

“When I was dying?” Mara asked, clearly insulted.

“We didn’t know you were dying at the time. And trust me, as soon as we realized, it put a real damper on things. We didn’t touch each other again for ages, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Somehow, it sort of does,” she responded.

Jacen could tell that Luke wasn't mollified. “So, you were fourteen and sixteen?”

Tahiri smiled again. “Fifteen and seventeen, actually. But then, like he said, nothing happened again for ages. In fact, when he did kiss me,” she laughed, “we said if we survived, if we didn’t die in the airless locker, we’d have to figure out our relationship, you know because we’d been best friends since we were little kids. So Anakin’s solution…”

“Oh, you’re evil.” Anakin hissed.

Tahiri giggled and dodged out of Anakin’s reach as he tried to pinch her arm.

“Anakin’s idea of ‘figuring out our relationship’ was to ignore me for several weeks. Then, he shows up at my room one night, and informs me that he’s figured it all out.”

“Evil. With a capital ‘E’.”

“So he sits me down, and he can barely look at me at first, so I’m preparing myself for the worst. I’m certain I’m about to have my heart broken. And I’m trapped on the Venture with him, and then what was I going to do?”

“Where’s the loyalty? Where’s the devotion and the sense of sacredness?” Anakin asked.

“And then he blurts out; ‘I was doing some research on fighter specs and I found this statistic… ah… did you know that… uhm… in forty-two percent of New Republic Star Systems the only requirement for legality of matrimony is the mutual agreement of two participants over the age of fourteen?’”

Jaina squealed, “Oh Force! That’s where he got forty-two?”

Tahiri continued to laugh and nodded as she went on. “So I’m sitting there with my mouth hanging open…”

The sound of Tahiri’s lightsaber snapping on caught Jacen’s attention again. He jumped slightly and looked over to see her slicing at more vines covering her foot.

“Sorry. My boot was caught.”

She powered her weapon back down as Anakin spoke up.

“Might be the only time in all the years I’ve know her I’ve rendered her speechless. Almost worth the embarrassment and humiliation.”

“So I’m sitting there with my mouth hanging open, trying to figure out where he’s going with this, and then he says, ‘oh, and I’m in love with you. So, are we in mutual agreement?’”

“And she says” Anakin cut in, putting his hands on his hips in imitation of Tahiri, “Honestly Anakin, are you really going to ask me to marry you before you even kiss me again?’”

“To which he replies, ‘Oh, yeah… uhm… right.’ Like that is the last thing he wants to do.”

“It was actually the first thing I planned to do, but I got nervous when I got there and sort of started with the end of my ‘to do’ list by accident.”

“’To do’ list?” Jaina asked, horrified. “Wow, how romantic.”

“It’s always wise to have a plan,” Face laughed, “even if you don’t stick to it.”

“Thank you,” Anakin said. “At least someone understands. And still, I was so nervous, it took us ages to get past the innocent kissing stage.”

“Really?” Jaina was clearly surprised.

Tahiri laughed again. “Yeah, much to, I’m sure everyone’s surprise, we stayed innocent for quite a while.”

“I’m still trying to rectify that.” Anakin added smugly.

Tahiri batted the back of his head playfully. “What was that you were just saying about ‘sacred’, hero boy?”

“Well, besides being innocent, we made a conscious choice to wait until Tahiri turned sixteen to do anything too serious.”

“Why?” Jacen asked, astonished.

“Because Corran was stalking us,” Tahiri explained, “and Anakin was terrified of him.”

“The man was relentless. And with all the jumping we were doing from system to system, I could just see us popping out somewhere where the age of consent was sixteen and not fourteen or fifteen, and Corran arresting me just to prove a point. I wasn't taking any chances. You would have thought Tahiri was his daughter.”

“I’m sure he thought he was looking out for her best interests,” Mara said.

“No he wasn't. He was bored and feeling superior. She could have held a senate seat for any number of planets, and been legally married in most of the galaxy, but not slept with her husband? I pity any man who ever takes an interest in Jysella.”

“You don’t think it had anything to do with wanting to keep you guys from making a mistake? Or thinking he might have a better idea of the gravity of the choices you were making?” Luke asked.

“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t,” Anakin said. “And to this day I catch him glaring at me once in a while. I finally told him last time he came to see Valin that Tahiri and I were married and had a child and he really needed to get over this. And that we had, in fact, been married a second time, by the same man who performed his own wedding ceremony.”

“Then Anakin grinned at him and invited him to sleep on our couch.”

“He has no sense of humor sometimes.”

“Valin and Mirax nearly hemorrhaged laughing though. That was fun to watch,” Tahiri said.

Jaina cut at some vines near her feet, then asked, “So wait, when we were all on the Venture that year, and it was your sixteenth birthday, and I asked what Anakin gave you, and you said he was all the present you needed…”

Anakin snorted. “You said that?”

“Your brother’s the gift that keeps on giving,” Tahiri giggled.

“Ewwww,” Jaina moaned.

“Hey, if you didn’t want the answer you shouldn't have asked the question, sis.”

“I’m starting to regret that I asked the question. In fact, I’m starting to regret that anyone asked any question.”

“Especially since none of us won the bet,” Jacen said. “What did Tycho win, anyway?”

“A night on our couch.” Anakin and Tahiri both laughed, but their humor was cut short as Anakin began cutting at more vines.

“So how long have you been married now?” Face wondered.

“In my eyes, or Wedge’s eyes?” Anakin asked.

“Both.”

“Three and a half years, and almost a year.”

“And Mama Tahiri is still Veila and not Solo or Veila Solo, like the rest of the women in the family because…?” Kell asked.

“Are you kidding?” Tahiri asked. “You say the name ‘Solo’ and half the galaxy turns around.”

Anakin stopped walking and threw an arm around Jacen’s shoulders, waited for Jaina to catch up, then threw his other arm around hers and said, “Yeah, but it’s the devastatingly good looking half.”

Tahiri moaned and rolled her eyes again.

Over much laughter, Jacen nodded, “You know what, Tahiri, I’m going to have to agree with him on this.”

“Yeah, so am I.” Jaina added.

“As if I ever doubted you were Han Solo’s children…” Mara said, shaking her head.

Jaina shook off Anakin’s arm and snapped her lightsaber on, at almost the same time Luke snapped his on, both hacking at vines that Jacen realized were no longer just tangled around their feet, but actually climbing up their legs. Just as they were cutting themselves free, Tahiri snapped her blade on again and suddenly Jacen realized all the Jedi had their blades on and the vines were creeping faster.

“What’s going on?” Face called out.

“I don’t know.” Luke yelled.

“The vines are attacking us.” Mara cried.

Jacen looked around long enough to realize that the Vong and the Wraiths were untroubled.

“Run,” Luke called, pointing toward a collapsed building in the distance.

They all did, scrambling and swinging at the foliage in front of them, following behind the others until they’d cleared the open field and made it to the shelter that lay a hundred meters from where they’d been when the vines had begun to overwhelm them.

The six Jedi collapsed on the floor and against the walls of the battered building, panting and gasping, while the two Wraiths and the four Yuuzhan Vong looked on in confusion.

Jacen finally rolled to his side, far enough to sit up with his backpack still on, and, panting, looked at his aunt and uncle, leaning together against a wall, shaking their heads. He reached over to his sister, stuck on her back at an awkward angle because of her own pack, and grabbed her hand, pulling her to sitting. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she breathed out, “you?”

“Yeah. Anakin?”

“Yeah.”

Anakin was sitting against the wall, Tahiri cradled in his arms, as he ran his hand over her head while she worked to calm her breathing.

“You take me to the best places.” She finally wheezed out.

“Think of this as that honeymoon I’ve always promised you.” Anakin panted.

“Sometimes, your romantic side comes shining through…”

“I can be romantic…”

“…bright as a newborn star.”

“This is the third planet I’ve walked across for you. And that’s not counting Tatooine when I was eleven. How much more romance do you need?”

Tahiri sat up, got to her knees, and kissed Anakin’s forehead before gaining her feet and reaching down to pull him up, then they walked to the edge of the duracrete.

“Next time,” Anakin continued, “can we make it a civilized planet? Not that I wouldn't do it again and again, but having a speeder might be nice for a change.”

“Then you wouldn't be ‘walking’ across a planet for me, though,” she shot over her shoulder distractedly, as she stood at the edge of what was left of the room the group was standing in, and looked out at the field they’d just left.

“Holy bantha kriffer…” Tahiri breathed out a few minutes later, as she began to back away from the opening. “Jacen, now would be a really good time to show us all how great you are with animals.”

Jacen leapt up and joined Tahiri at the edge of the room, and felt his mouth drop open at what was coming their way.

“I’m not sure that’s going to respond to anything I can do.”


Instead of even attempting to reach out to the animal with the Force, instead of even attempting to see if the animal was Yuuzhan Vong, or a species he could communicate with, he grabbed Tahiri’s hand, swung her around with him and screamed, “Run!” to the rest of the group, and bolted for the stairway at the back of the room.

Magical Mystery Tour/The Beatles

 

Chapter 23​

​

He Knows About Your Party, He Is Calling You Dude​

Anakin was cranky.

If Tahiri shoved one more cookie down his throat he was going to…

Yeah, right… what – exactly – was he going to do to his wife?

Tahiri had been digging into is backpack, every thirty minutes or so, all morning, for cookies. She was trying to be nonchalant, she was trying to be subtle, but subtle was simply not in Tahiri’s repertoire, never had been, in all the years he’d known her, and he knew that everyone noticed what was going on.

He still hated that his body didn’t work the way it was supposed to. He also hated that there was every possibility that if things got too stressful on this trip, more stressful than they already were, that there was every possibility that his body would just say no. Just quit. Decide it couldn't meet the physical demands Anakin was placing on it.

And then he’d get to lay in Tahiri’s arms and watch her watch him die.

So he kept his mouth shut, or rather, open, and he ate the kriffing cookies that his wife kept shoving into it.

Tahiri had lectured him before they’d left, had followed him around with bottles of water making sure he was drinking enough and was properly hydrated. Insisted that he pay an extra visit to the med center for dialysis to make sure has kidneys were as cleansed as possible, made sure that the combined number of cookies in their packs were more than enough to see him through. But he still hated this, and dreaded the topic being brought up if anyone finally caught on to what Tahiri was doing and finally asked the question.

This was the one topic that no bets were placed upon. The one topic Anakin would not tolerate any wagers being joked about.

Tahiri had told his mom the story in the playground the morning they’d all talked. He’d asked his mom not to say anything to anyone else, but the mere fact that not one person had commented on Tahiri’s continuous force feeding him cookies made him think that Leia had not kept her promise and that everyone on the team, who spoke fluent Basic, knew exactly why Tahiri was doing it.

He wasn't sure whether to thank her, or throttle her. And by ‘her’ he wasn't sure if he meant Tahiri or his mother. Or both of them.

If Anakin had gotten a decent amount of sleep the night before he might have considered telling Tahiri to lay off on the cookies, but the truth was he was already feeling the strain, and given that this was only their second day, that wasn't a good thing.

After running from the monster in the field, which neither Jacen nor Tahiri had been able to give a clear description of, except to say that it was big and scary and had lots of legs and even more teeth, the group had wound their way through broken buildings and overturned walkways for hours. They’d finally made camp in one of those broken buildings, only to have to run from it when the ground had begun to quake an hour later, causing loose wires and twisted beams to fall, nearly taking out half the team.

For the next several hours, every time they stopped to rest, the ground shook, the quakes only letting up a few hours before sunrise, giving the team only enough time to catch their breaths, sleep for a bit, and then be woken by the smell of burning shrubs.

They had no idea what had started the fire that had chased them from that last resting spot, but with the sun coming up they simply decided to continue on their trek, figuring they’d find a place to rest later.

Anakin knew better than to fight Tahiri on the cookies at this point. He knew she could feel his fatigue, and the last thing anyone needed was Tahiri insisting that the group stop so Anakin could do a healing trance. If eating the cookies kept Tahiri quiet, he’d eat the cookies.

They were in the open air now, making their way through what might once have been an artificial park. It was very quiet. Too quiet for Anakin’s liking. There were no animal sounds, no birds cawing, not even the sound of wind whistling through trees. Of course, there weren’t any trees. Just mud and dirt, and more broken and twisted steel and concrete on either side of them where more buildings used to be.

“Any idea where we are?”

Luke’s question broke the eerie silence and startled Anakin. The only other noise he’d heard in ages had been the sound of his pack being unzipped and zipped back up, followed immediately by the rustling of the wrappers of his cookies.

They’d all been subdued. Though if it was caused by the wildlife that had attacked them, the unsettling quakes, fatigue, or the depressing devastation they were making their way through, he didn’t know.

He was glad to finally hear a voice.

“Despite our last detour,” Face called, glancing back over his shoulder, “right about where we should be. Between yesterday and today, we've covered about forty kilometers.”

Face was walking point with Tron and Hal, another of the Shamed Ones.

“Oh, goodie,” Kell replied cheerily. “Only sixty to go. Not bad for a couple day’s work.”

Anakin flinched when he felt a large splat hit his shoulder. He turned his head to see what it was, just in time to see another splat hit Tahiri’s head.

He felt his eyes go wide, as he leaned closer to her, watched her cringe and throw her hands into her hair to wipe away a second hit, and then felt his mouth fall open when he realized what it was.

“What, Anakin? What was that?”

“Ah…”

He didn’t get any further before he felt another hit on his own head, then saw another plop hit Tahiri’s shoulder. On pure instinct, he threw his arms around her, and pulled her close, ducking his head over hers, trying to shield her from what was coming at them; falling on them. He looked upwards as the sky began to darken and more plops fell, hitting the other team members.

They were bugs, large, winged bugs. They weren’t like razor or thud bugs. They seemed harmless, but falling from so high up, they still stung when they landed and were making a horrific mess on everything they struck, covering everyone in bug guts.

“Oh, gross!” Jaina exclaimed, as she threw her hands over her head and began to run to the nearest building corpse.

Everyone else followed suit, chasing after Jaina as she sought shelter.

Once under cover, Anakin turned to see that the sky was darkening rapidly, like a storm whipping up out of nowhere on Yavin Four. Where ten minutes ago, the day had shone brightly, the sky a large blue expanse, now the sun was eclipsed by a steadily growing dark cloud that Anakin could only assume consisted of more of the small creatures that were already falling like giant raindrops, splatting against the ground, leaving a macabre scene of gore in their wake.

Anakin felt bad about pulling his water bottle out to dump over his head for about a second, until he realized everyone else was doing the same thing. He reached over to Tahiri, and rubbed some of the water through her hair.

“Green is defiantly not you color.”

“You prefer me blonde?” She smiled wanly.

He nodded, then lowered his own head as she rinsed his hair for him.

When he felt somewhat human again, or at least not ‘buggy’, he walked over to join Jacen, who was looking out at the ‘storm’.

“Remind you of anything?” Jacen asked.

“One of your collections?”

“Have I ever told you you’re not funny?”

“That’s just because you wouldn't know funny if it kissed you. But what?”

“Nom Anor and the warriors tracking us on Myrkr.”

Anakin felt the rest of the Jedi and the Wraiths join them as Jacen had spoken, just as he felt his blood run cold.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to pull another stunt like you did with Vergere?” Jacen continued.

“What do you mean?” But Anakin was already pretty sure he knew what Jacen meant, he just hoped he was wrong.

“Vergere seemed to know what we were doing – could sense us.”

“Something is sensing us…” Jaina stated, panic clear in her voice.

“Can see where we are and send biots – vegetation, animals, ground quakes…” Jacen kept going.

“It’s getting worse the farther we go…” Anakin finally started.

“The World Brain?” Huane gasped, and the whole group turned to stare at her.

Kell let out a loud breath. “We've never had this kind of trouble before.”

“We've been through this area a dozen times," Face added. "We've never been attacked by vines, or seen that thing Jacen and Tahiri described, or felt quakes, or spontaneous fire, or been rained on by insects.”

Anakin turned to Tahiri, but he didn’t need to say anything, she immediately turned to Huane, and began to converse frantically in Yuuzhan Vong, for what, to Anakin, felt like hours. When she turned back to face him, her expression made his knees go weak.

“She says the World Brain controls the ecology of the planet and reports to Shimmra, they have a telepathic connection.”

“In other words,” Luke said, “Shimmra and or Omini controls the World Brain.”

“Exactly,” Tahiri sighed.

“So if the World Brain is sending things to stop us, to harass us,” Jaina breathed, defeated, “then it’s a good bet that Shimmra knows we’re here.”

Anakin ran his hands through his hair and squeezed his head for a minute before dropping his hands to his hips, pacing away from the group and kicking at a wall. “Not good, really not good. Information I really could have used three days ago.”

“I’m so sorry, Anakin,” Tahiri began, her voice quivering, “they never said anything, and it never occurred to me to ask.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. Just… get more information.”

Tahiri nodded, and Anakin knew she was waiting for him to do more than just say ‘it’s okay’, to give her some sign that he didn’t blame her, which he didn’t. But he was too wrapped up in blaming himself and fearing that he’d put the whole team in danger to spare any energy into making her feel better right now. He’d do that when he’d calmed down a bit.

He paced around and kicked more stuff while Tahiri spoke with the Vong. Then sat down and waited for her to translate what she’d learned.

‘They don’t know anything about Omini, so they think this is all Shimmra. Like they already said, the World Brain is what controls the environment. All life forms on the planet are connected and relay information back to the World Brain, which relays information to Shimmra, and therefore Omini. The purpose is to keep the environment in balance, make sure no life-forms overpopulate. If a species does, a higher species is sent to attack it, to eat or kill off enough to bring it back into balance. Shimmra, Omini, makes the command for the biots to attack, based on information that is gathered by other biots.”

“Okay, I’m not a Jedi, but I am an Intel agent, and my job is to gather and collate information,” Face started.

“Yes…” Mara prompted, and Anakin could tell she was less than impressed with Face’s resume and wanted him to get on to the point.

Face gave her a winning grin, then turned to Anakin. “Since we've never had any of these problems before, and since the vines only attacked you lightsaber wielding do-gooders…”

“Yes…” Mara prompted again, eyebrow arched, and Anakin had to chuckle at the ease with which his aunt could feign being insulted. Or just go from zero to insulted so fast.

“I’m guessing that it’s you guys Shimmra and Omini are concerned with. You are the species they feel has over populated. Maybe they have something that can sense you, like the Voxyn, that can’t tell us from perfectly well-behaved slaves and the underclass? And…” he quickly added before Mara could cut in again, “it seems to only be a problem when we’re out in the open, in Vongformed areas.”

“The only problem we've had inside buildings was the groundquakes, but if we were being tracked by Vonglife, then they’d know where to make the quakes happen,” Jacen supplied.

“Exactly,” Face pronounced proudly.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Kell grinned at Face.

“I love that you can read me like that.”

“After all these years together…” Kell replied.

“And…” Mara gritted out.

“Like Jacen said,” Face began again, serious this time, “the Vonglife is sensing you and keeping whoever’s in charge updated on where you are. Therefore, my suggestion is we travel through the lower levels. Most of the Vongforming has been done on the surface – there is still Vonglife down there…”

“Not to mention survivors from the fall who've been stuck down there for two and a half years and have gone feral,” Kell was quick to throw in.

“Some of whom might think the Jedi are to blame for the situation they’re in,” Face finished.

Anakin blew out breath and looked from Luke to Mara. “I don’t see that we really have any other options.”

“None that I can see. We might want to hide our lightsaber when we’re down there, keep them in our pockets or under our clothes,” Luke said.

“Wow, and for once we won’t get grounded for go to the undercity,” Jaina laughed lightly.

“Now there’s looking at the up side, sis,” Anakin grinned, but then winced when he heard Tahiri’s snort, which reminded him that he owed his wife an apology.

He turned his back on the rest of the group and walked over to where she was standing in the corner of the room, far enough away to be alone, but still close enough to hear the conversation. He stood between her and them, so they couldn't see her, and, when she didn’t look at him, crooked his finger and lifted her chin, then bent his knees to be closer to her eye level when she still didn’t meet his gaze.

“Hey,” he whispered.

She shook her head slightly, and her lip trembled. “I’m sorry. I should have known this stuff…”

“Don’t. I wasn't mad at you; I was frustrated with the situation, and you’re being way too hard on yourself. There was no way for you to know. No one told you. No one told you. Not her and not the Yuuzhan Vong. You can’t think of everything, my love, we’re going to get surprised. And we’ll deal with it.”

Tahiri just nodded, so Anakin stood back up and drew her close, rubbing his arms across her back while she pulled herself together, reached for her in their bond, and tried to soothe her.

“You know what this means?” She asked his chest.

Anakin pulled back so he could look down at her and gave her a quizzical look.

“We’re never going to make it all the way to the Citadel if the World Brain can track us. It will probably help Omini protect it, and it him.”

Anakin closed his eyes and moaned. Then patted Tahiri on the butt, kissed her forehead, and turned back to the rest of the group, grabbing her hand and dragging her over with him.

“My brilliant wife has just raised a frightening, but very valid, point: we’re going to have to take out the World Brain before we can take out the escape ship.”

A chorus of groans and expletives met his announcement and everyone who was still standing sat on the nearest thing they could find to sit on.

“Also,” Huane said quietly, from where she was sitting near Jacen, “one thousand warriors guarding World Brain.”

“Tahiri?”

“Yes, Anakin?” she sighed.

“Will you ask Huane if when she says ‘one thousand’, she means one thousand in Basic, or if she’s converted that wrong from Yuuzhan Vong?”

Tahiri chuckled, and Anakin knew his question was probably pointless, but he could hope.

“She means ‘one thousand’ in Basic.”

Luke laughed at that. “This just keeps getting better. It almost feels like I’m on a mission with your father.”

“Hey!” Jaina, Jacen and Anakin all cried in unison, then laughed at each other for their defense of their father, because they all knew their father was indefensible.

While the Solos were laughing, Tahiri was talking, and after another few minutes, curiosity got the better of Anakin.

“What’s she saying?”

“Hold on.” Tahiri shushed, as she waved her hand at Anakin dismissively.

After another minute, Anakin was getting anxious. “While I’m still young, Veila?”

“Do you want information, or do you want the correct information, Solo?”

Anakin made a face at the back of her head, then turned, unhooked one of his lightsabers, and began tossing it from one hand to the other, trying to occupy himself while his wife chattered endlessly.

“Okay,” Tahiri finally said. “Huane has a plan.”

“For what?” several voices asked in unison.

“For killing the World Brain.”

Before she got any further, or could explain Huane’s plan, Luke asked, “Kill it?” his dismay radiating through the Force.

Oh, kriff

Of all the times for his uncle to go all pacifist Jedi, Anakin thought. He knew he should have left Luke at home.

It was Tahiri though, who went toe to toe with his uncle, marching up to him and making Anakin proud, and reminding him, yet again, why she was the one for him.

“Yes, Master Skywalker. Kill it. Did you have another idea? Were you thinking we could sit down and chat with it and ask it to please ignore us while we attempted to kill its telepathic partner?”

Though several centimeters shorter than Luke, Tahiri met Luke’s gaze unflinchingly, and Anakin had a sudden flash to what those weeks on Hapes must have been like in his absence. He pitied his family. He’d been on the receiving end of Tahiri’s wrath enough in the last ten years to know it wasn't fun, and rarely fruitful.

“No, Tahiri, I was not going to suggest we talk to it. I was merely going to ask if there was any other way we could deal with it.”

“Oh.” Tahiri smiled brightly. “Well, there isn’t, and Huane says poison.”

“Poison?” Several voices asked, in unison again, and Anakin vaguely wondered if he was standing in an echo chamber.

“She’s got poison with her?” Jacen asked, horrified.

“No,” Tahiri breathed, rolling her eyes, and crossing her arms over her chest, as though the thought of a Yuuzhan Vong Shaper carrying poison was a ridiculous idea. “But she says she can make something toxic for us. At least she thinks she can.”

“What does she need?” Though explosives were Kell’s weapon of choice, there was glint in his eye when he asked the question.

“Plant extracts, which she can find on her own, a fire and a container to cook the mixture in, and the blessing of the gods – if there are gods.”

Anakin snorted. “She say that or are you adding?”

“She said that. I never add.”

“Right,” Anakin murmured, then smiled when Tahiri wrinkled her nose at him.
After a moment of silence, Face clapped his hands together. “Okay, lower levels, find a kitchen, sleep there, and tomorrow we start walking again. We’re going to need to cover more ground each day to make up for the kilometers we’re likely to lose looking for a safe place to sleep tonight.”

“Maybe now that we know what we’re in for it will be easier tomorrow,” Tahiri sighed.

Anakin reached an arm out to Tahiri, pulled her between his legs and wrapped his arms around her waist, let her cradle his head against her chest for a minute, then tilted his head up and smiled slightly against her lips when she leaned down to kiss him.

“I hope so, my love. I hope so.” He whispered.

Jacen walked up beside them. “It seemed like she said more, what didn’t you translate?”

Tahiri smiled broadly at him then winked. “She asked if you had a mate.”

He Knows About Your Party, He Is Calling You Dude/Cake

 

Great chapters!
Jacen is good again.
Or should we be suspicious of him?
Or am I being paranoid?
The not taking the Solo name thing is so true.
Considering that Jacen wasn't with the World Brain, this whole thing doesn't surprise me.
Such great conversations through out.

 

Love it!!! I had a "but Jacen and the world brain are bro's!!!" And then went wait. You rebooted the universe. Crap!!!

Guess they will have to figure stuff out! Love Tahiri going toe-to-toe with Luke on being a wimpy wimpy-face. Always a fan of the Wraiths in any form and I LOVE the bet ok how many minutes it would take for the relationship to come up. Hahaha on Tycho winning!!!! As always, I am in love love love wth this! Can't wait for more!!!

Also, as a side note for however this turns out: if you kill Anakin or Tahiri, I will cry my eyes out and post angry emoticon faces like every day. BUT I am voting that Jacen dies in a Ganner-esque blaze of glory. Because....nobody likes Jacen

 

Ha ha ha!!!!!!!

Yes - Reboot - Jacen wasn't captured by Vergere because I blew her up. Or rather - Anakin did - so no - Jacen did not spend those months on Yu'uzhantarr... or whatever it was called. Get your Kleenex ready my sweet... it's not over yet! We've got 5 chapter plus the epilogue to go yet!

Also - you have me super inspired to re-boot Fear and Love because I made Jacen a rock star in that story and I want you to read so that I can make you love him there.

 

I work in Security - I always advocate paranoia... but no - Jacen is coming around.

 

Gotcha.

 

Wonderfully entertaining banter and Jacen's reflections - nice. I for one choose not to be paranoid. Now that they know exactly what is going on they won't be sabotaging their own mission by incomplete info, so the chances of success have definitely gone up.

 

Reboot away because I will read it all!!! And I don't know if it's possible for me to like Jacen in any dimension. He has always been such a whiny, tree-hugging, animal-collecting weakling that I just want to punch in the face. I think that's why your scene with Anakin finally like trying to kill him is so. Stinking. Satisfying.

<insert music> don't go breaking my heart!!!!! Pleasssseeeeeeee don't break my heart!!! Either way, however you end it, I'm sure I'll still love you!

EDIT:JUST POST IT SOON!!! I WANT MOREEEEE!!!!

 

Post instead of replies today... shortly

 

Chapter 24​

​

The Right Thing To Do​

They had been walking for several hours, going deeper and deeper into the underground. They were heading farther away from any Vongforming, and had not been bothered by any plant life or ‘natural’ disasters for some time, but Kell was still nervous.

The team had all gotten a decent amount of sleep the night before, and were well rested, but down here were survivors, if you could call them that, and he feared them more than plants and animals. Down here were the desperate beings who had been living through the occupation, who had been foraging for what was left of food and water supplies. These were the people who had been dodging attacks by warriors, who had been fighting amongst themselves to live off of what was left of Coruscant. The survivors had set up their own forms of government. The rule here was survival of the fittest, and, unfortunately, the fittest were usually the strongest and the most brutal.

It was almost always the dregs of society who thrived in atmospheres like this, and it was these people that the team was going to have to deal with. This was why the Wraiths usually stuck to the surface when they infiltrated. This is why they took their chances with the Vong on the surface rather than having to face, and likely kill, the beings who dwelled below. Even during peace, even when the New Republic had ruled, the undercity had not been any place Kell wanted to spend time; and from what the Wraiths and other infiltration groups had seen the Vong occupation had not brought out the best of humanity.

Luke and Mara, walking point, came to a stop up ahead and Kell could see sun light shining down a shaft over their heads.

“We’re at an impasse,” Luke called back.

“The walkway has been taken out,” Mara added.

Kell watched a couple of the younger Jedi, Anakin, who Kell really liked, and Mama Tahiri, who he adored, join the Masters in looking into an abyss.

Face and Kell joined them while the rest of the group gathered around.

The chasm was about ten meters wide. On the other side, another ten meters below, was the remains of another walkway. It looked to be a good place for them to start from again—if they could get to it; but Kell couldn't see any clear spot that they could shoot their harpoons to create a zip line to scoot down on.

“What do you think?” Face asked Luke.

“I don’t know. I suppose we can try to climb down on this side, see if there is some way to get across from below. Or, we could back track and see if there is some other way to get over.”

Kell looked up just in time to see Anakin and Tahiri give each other wide grins, and then watched them take several steps back from the edge together.

“Care to dance, my love?” Anakin asked.

“With you? Always,” Tahiri answered.

Before anyone could ask what they were doing, before Luke or Jacen had finished calling out their names or for them to stop, Anakin and Tahiri had taken running jumps and leapt out into the air.

Kell watched them in awe, soaring like giant birds; then, in unison, they tucked their chins, pulled their knees up to their chests, did tight, neat somersaults in the air, and then landed, feather light, on the platform down below.

“Wow,” Face marveled. “Can you all do that?”

Jaina chuckled. “Not quite.”

Mara laughed, then asked Luke, “You ever notice that Solusar aged more in the time that Anakin and Tahiri were at the academy than in any of the other twenty years that we've known him?”

“You ever notice I aged more in those years than in the other thirty years that you've known me?” he returned.

“How do they do that?” Kell asked.

“They catch each other with the Force and then they set each other down,” Jacen explained. “They've been doing it since they were little kids and they’re able to do it because they have such a strong connection in the Force.”

“And from all the practice they have at hurling themselves off things and then setting each other down,” Jaina added.

“How come I’ve never heard about them hurling themselves off of things?” Luke asked.

“Probably because they knew it would make you age more quickly,” Jaina supplied, and Kell suspected she was trying to be helpful.

Anakin dropped onto one knee, in a classic marksman crouch, aimed his harpoon up at the group, and called for everyone to back away from an exposed strut not far from all of their heads. Kell saw what he was doing; they’d use the strut as an anchor, secure the cable Anakin was about to shoot to it, and then send the rest of the team down the line to where Anakin and Tahiri already were.

Good idea, and Kell had to give the kid points for style in the execution of the plan. The kid definitely had style. He’d make a good Wraith one day if he ever had any interest in joining them. Kell doubted Mama Tahiri would ever go for that though. She’d never trust Face and Kell to shove ‘cookies’ down Anakin’s throat the way she did.

An hour later the whole team was down the zip line—Hal and Tron looking slightly shaky, which surprised Kell, but he supposed that was what made them Shamed Ones, the fact that this sort of thing would make them shaky; and then they were all trekking off again.

They’d only made it a few hundred meters along the new walk way when Tahiri spoke up.

“Anakin?”

“Yeah… I feel it.”

Kell glanced over just as Anakin was pulling one of his lightsabers from his equipment belt, a strange lavender glow lighting the end of it, a glow he’d never seen in his wife’s, or any other Jedi’s, lightsaber.

“How many?” Jaina asked.

And Kell suddenly remembered hearing stories of Anakin having to rebuild his lightsaber on Yavin with a Yuuzhan Vong lambent crystal when he’d been looking for Tahiri, and how he was able to sense the Vong with it.

“Twelve, maybe fifteen,” Anakin said, grimacing.

“Okay,” Face said, dropping his pack. “What’s the plan?”

Anakin looked around, and Kell could almost see the cogs in the younger man’s head turning as he formulated a plan.

“There’s a bridge up ahead. Kell, can you wire the far side of the bridge to blow when we need it to?”

“Are you married to a cute blonde?”

Anakin chuckled. “I am indeed. Okay, Jaina, Jacen, and Tahiri; go out and find the Vong…” Anakin turned to Tahiri, pointed to her and gave her a look, which Kell figured was a ‘don’t you dare start with that Yuuzhan Vong crap right now’ look, to which she just grinned, and then Anakin finished with, “Make them chase you around long enough to give Kell time to wire the bridge. Mara, Luke and I will wait on the far side of the bridge and herd them over it. Tahiri and I have our wrist coms. Tahiri, leave yours on so I can hear what’s going on. The lambent will tell me when you’re getting close. As soon as we’re all across Kell will detonate the bridge. We’ll figure out another way to cross over once we've gotten rid of them. Any questions?”

“What shall we do to participate?” Huane asked.

“Stay back behind that wall over there and don’t let them see you.” Anakin ordered. “Any other questions?”

“Can we have lunch after this?” Jaina asked.

“It’s official,” Face laughed, “you've spent too much time with Kell.”

“I’m actually really hungry too,” Tahiri added.

“I’ve never known you not to be hungry,” Kell snorted.

“That’s because most of the time we've spent with her she was pregnant. Remember when she used to finish all of our lunches during planning sessions?” Face asked.

“Or that day we sat her in the chair and rolled her around the conference room from plate to plate because she couldn't walk anymore,” Kell said.

“Oh, goodie. Just when I was missing the ‘me pregnant’ jokes,” Tahiri sighed.

“And as much as I’d love to hear stories about my wife’s pregnancy that I missed, could we focus here?”

“Sorry,” Face and Kell apologized together.

“Does anyone have a legitimate question?” Anakin looked around and when everyone shook their heads, continued, “No? I may start skipping the Q and A portion.”

“I often find that for the best,” Face offered.

Anakin rolled his eyes then nodded to Kell, who took that as his sign that it was time to get to work. He opened his pack and followed Anakin, who had taken Tahiri’s hand, and the three headed over the bridge. When they reached the far side, Kell picked a spot that he liked and set to work.

“How much time do you need Tainer?”

“Twenty minutes.” Kell told Anakin, then began to place sticks of explosives and wires, all the while keepings his ears open, listening to Anakin and Tahiri.

“You hear that, Tahiri? Twenty minutes.”

“I heard that, Anakin.”

“And here I was trying to avoid using you as bait.”

“When are you going to learn that destiny is a hard thing to shake?”

Kell heard the younger man sigh heavily.

“Be careful,” Anakin told her.

“You be careful.”

“I’m serious. No heroics. Find them, and then run. No taunting, no name calling, just get their attention and then bring them to us. All we need is for them to see you. Don’t say anything in Yuuzhan Vong if you don’t have to.”

“I heard you. No taunting, no name calling, nothing unnecessary. Stay safe. One wife, in one piece, at the end of this.”

“Exactly. I promised Will I’d bring Mama home, don’t make a liar out of me.”

“I won’t.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Finally, Kell had to throw in, “You guys are so sweet together. Honestly, I don’t know what everyone else’s problem is, you two were made for each other.”

“Explosives Tainer,” Anakin warned, “you’re supposed to be setting explosives.”

“I can multi-task.”

Anakin turned back to Tahiri and Kell had to chuckle when he told her, “No wonder you’re such a great mother, you spent your pregnancy hanging out with these guys.”

“That’s exactly what she used to tell us. And did you know I offered to babysit on numerous occasions?”

Anakin turned around again and said, “No offense, but you’re the last person I’d leave my son alone with.”

“That’s exactly what she used to say too.”

Kell laughed again as he watched Anakin lean down and kissed Tahiri. “She did not used to say that to me though.”

“Good thing, I’ve got a lightsaber.”

“So does my wife, and I’m afraid of both of you.”

“Then I haven’t been giving you enough credit for brains.”

Kell glanced up to respond to that, but kept his mouth shut when he saw how bright the younger man’s lightsaber was glowing.

“Show time,” Anakin said, then shouted to his brother and sister. “Jaina, Jacen, time to move.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Tahiri had only been running for at most fifteen minutes, but with seventeen Yuuzhan Vong chasing her, if felt like a lot longer. With her wrist comm on, she knew that Anakin could hear what was going on. Could hear how hard she was breathing, could hear the war cries coming from the warriors right behind her.

The Yuuzhan Vong seemed to be taking the bait; none of them seemed to be breaking off, which was good. She could sense that they were all following her, Jaina and Jacen back to the bridge. Which was also good. She could also sense that she was getting closer to Anakin, and he had told her, over her wrist comm, that the bridge was set, all she and the twins needed to do was get to the other side of the bridge, without losing any of the warriors, and they were home free.

And to think; it was the feral survivors they’d been worried about down here.

They were making their way around a shell of a building, and she knew the bridge was just up ahead, when she felt her danger sense flare up.

She sensed the amphistaff flying towards her before she was even sure that it had left the warrior’s hand. She felt the panic rise up in Anakin before she felt the amphistaff coming toward her or the rush of wind whip past her head. She knew if she went down that it wouldn't hit her, she could see it in her mind’s eye. She could see it from Anakin’s perspective too, and she ducked and hit the dirt in plenty of time to avoid it, but that meant that she was on the ground, not running.

Not part of the plan.

As Tahiri slid to the earth she whipped both lightsabers from her equipment belt, twisted her body and rolled up on to her backpack. Coming to a stop she pressed her body as far into her pack as she could, putting as much distance as she could between herself and the warrior standing over her, between herself and the amphistaff coming down in a two handed cleaving motion. She caught the staff in the cross beams of her sabers, twisting her wrists just enough to hold the staff in place, using the caught staff to hold the warrior up and away from her. She smacked the heels of her boots against the ground, and kicked up into the back of the behemoth’s thighs, causing him to cry out in anger and jump back slightly.

She used his surprise to take the offensive; pushing forward with her lightsabers, she cut deep grooves into one of his forearms and through one side of his chest, then brought one knee up and drove it into his groin. When she’d knocked him off balance, she rolled to the side, then rammed her blade up under his chest protector and into his ribcage.

Once the warrior had fallen, she had just enough time to look up and see that most of the others had followed Jaina, Luke and Mara across the bridge before another came at her, too fast for her to get to her feet.

She leaned into the pack on her back again, pushed it into the ground, again to give herself the distance she needed from her opponent to really have room to fight. As she brought her blades up again she heard Anakin screaming for Kell to blow the bridge, then heard the thundering sound of the explosion and the shrieking of durasteel as the walkway fell, and the screams of angry warriors as they went with it.

As far as she could tell, as the warrior above her continued to hammer at her defenses, Jacen and Anakin had both stayed behind, and were now fighting warriors of their own. The one currently above Tahiri simply refused to die, and as Tahiri continued to fight him off, she finally clued into the fact that he knew who she was, that he was screaming at her, at her, telling her that he was going to carry her name to the gods as the abomination of Mezhan Kwaad, that she deserved to die for the shame she and Mezhan Kwaad had brought on Domain Kwaad.

And that made Tahiri angry.

Ignoring her promise to Anakin to not taunt, Tahiri went into full taunting mode, telling him what a coward he was, that there was no honor in attacking a woman, in attacking a defenseless girl, who was on her back, no less, then she brought her knees up to her chest, planted her feet against his stomach, pushed him far enough away to bring both her sabers up again, scissorred her blades against his throat, and, turning just in time to avoid having his head drop onto her face, decapitated him.

As she rolled over, she saw Jacen on his back, in almost the same position she’d just been in, fighting for his life, and not doing very well.

Tahiri kicked her heels against the ground again, tightened her stomach muscles as hard as she could, bringing her knees up to her chest, aimed one of her lightsaber pommels at the warrior’s throat, then used the Force to propel herself sideways. She hit the warrior in the ribs with toe knife at the same time she hit the ignition switch on the lightsaber and pierced his neck; then used her body’s momentum to knock the warrior off of Jacen, causing herself to land heavily across her brother-in-law’s chest.

They both let out heavy sighs, Tahiri collapsing across Jacen as they panted in exhaustion.

Moments later Anakin walked over and stood above them.

“If I didn’t know how much you two hated each other I might feel weird about his.”

Tahiri rolled over so she was lying across Jacen’s hips, still panting.

“If I really hated him, I wouldn't keep saving his life.”

“And if I really hated her, I wouldn't keep letting her save my life.”

“Then I guess I’m feeling kind of weird about this.”

“If you’re feeling so weird about this, then why don’t you be a good husband and get me off your brother?”

Anakin chuckled and reached a hand down her.

“You okay?” he asked Jacen.


“Yeah.”

“That’s two you owe her, Junior.”

“Ha, ha.” Then looking up at Tahiri, Jacen said, “Thank you.”

Tahiri shrugged, “I’m sure you’ll work it off before this trip is over.”

“For your sake, I hope not.”

Tahiri rested her hands on her knees, panting to catch her breath, then straightened and looked out at the expanse that she, Anakin and Jacen needed to get back across to join up with the rest of the team. It wasn't that far to jump, only about four meters.

Then she took in the carnage around her. There were warrior corpses and body parts lying all over, and she figured more were lying at the bottom of the pit Kell had just created.

Using the Force, she, Jacen and Anakin all three took running jumps and launched themselves off the edge of the old bridge, but again, that sickening feeling was back; the one she’d had as she’d rounded the building shell just before the amphistaff had come sailing toward her head. She watched Jacen make it across the expanse, then saw Anakin land safely, then turn to face her, then watched his face contort in horror just before she should have felt her own feet hit ground, just as she felt herself stop in midair.

With Anakin using the Force to pull her further over the expanse, she just caught a hold of a piece of metal sticking out from what was left of the walkway Kell had blown, and, hanging off the pack on her back, was a warrior, easily twice her mass.

Anakin was above her, a meter above her, screaming her name again and reaching down trying to grab a hold of her, and for an absurd second Tahiri had a flash to that long ago day on Tatooine when she’d fallen into the Sarlacc pit and Anakin had reached down and tried to pull her up.

The warrior was swinging and pulling on her, though she couldn't tell if he was trying to climb her, or pull her down with him. All she knew was that she had to get up, had to get to Anakin, had to survive, had to get home to her son. She pulled as hard as she could to lift herself, called on the Force to give herself the strength to lift herself higher, but was just that much too far to reach all the arms trying to grasp her hands. Her feet were turned the wrong way to use the knives in her toes to kick at the warrior and she couldn't reach down to the blaster strapped to her thigh to shoot him without letting go of the metal strut she was hanging onto. Then Luke lit his lightsaber and slashed at the straps of her backpack.

“No!” She screamed. “Luke, no!” but he didn’t listen, he cut the straps, and suddenly a tremendous weight was lifted from her shoulders, and Jacen and Anakin were pulling her up because the pack was gone, and so was the warrior, and so were all the cookies.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Luke was confused.

He knew that he’d done the right thing.

He’d cut the straps on Tahiri’s pack and gotten the warrior off her back and that had enabled Jacen and Anakin to pull her up to safety.

He’d saved her life.

That was the right thing to do.

He knew that Anakin was happy that he had done that.

He knew he’d done the right thing.

What he did not understood was why Tahiri had slapped Anakin after he said they were just cookies, or what the cookies were even for. He also did not understand why she had then started weeping or why she had marched off into the middle of the field away from the rest of the group or why Anakin was stripping off his own pack and all of his weapons and muttering and telling her to stop yelling at him, which apparently she was doing, through the Force.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming. I hate it when she does that.”

“Does what?” Kell asked.

“Yells at me in my head.” Anakin then turned to Jacen and said, “If you ever find yourself attracted to a woman who is not Force sensitive, you might want to jump on that.”

When Anakin had finally finished stripping off anything that Luke supposed Tahiri might be able to use as a weapon against his nephew, he marched off to join her in the field, where, even from this distance, he could tell they were having a spectacular fight; meanwhile, Jaina shed some light on the subject.

“Okay, the day we arrived on the Lusankya, I watched everyone who approached Anakin give him what I thought were cookies. I realized pretty quickly that Anakin hadn't just developed a crazy sweet tooth in the last couple of years, there was something else going on.” Opening her pack, Jaina dug out a package. “When I was prepping my gear, Mom gave me this and told me not to ask any questions, just to give this to Tahiri if she needed extra.” She held up the item, showing the label - ‘MEDICAL WAFERS’. "My guess is that Anakin hasn't completely healed from Myrkr, he needs these for some reason and Tahiri freaked because she had the bulk of the supply in her backpack.”

“And the ones she’s been shoving down his throat for the last two days have been coming from his pack.” Mara sighed.

“Exactly. I think she transferred some over this morning before we started walking again, but yeah, when we walk, she pulls cookies from his pack; it’s easier than digging into her own,” Jaina said.

“Mom gave me a package too.” Jacen said, as he opened his pack and dug around. “I didn’t open mine because she said not to ask questions; just to give them to Tahiri if anything came up.”

Luke opened his pack, and Mara opened hers. “Leia gave some to us as well.”

“But even with all the ones we have, it may not be enough, or not enough to satisfy Tahiri. I’m getting the impression that she’s sort of fanatical about it. And I can’t say that I blame her. She’s already lost him once. And who knows what the actual battle at the Citadel will do to him,” Jaina sighed.

Luke looked back over, and was surprised to see that Tahiri was no longer yelling, but had collapsed against Anakin, convulsing with sobs while he held her tightly to him, stroking her back and her head, and realized that all these years, he’d been continually underestimating Anakin’s and Tahiri’s feelings for one another, and wondered how he had managed to do so; how he had managed to be so blind to what they truly meant to each other even after all that they had been through.

“So, what do we do?” Jacen finally asked.

“I think,” Luke said, “We wait for Tahiri to calm down, then we tell them that we have more cookies, and see what they want to do and then we keep going. It’s really all we can do. As much as I’d like to respect Anakin’s desire to keep this private, we can’t allow it to interfere with the mission.”

“And here we were concerned with Jacen and Anakin having a fight,” Mara mused. “Never crossed my mind that it would be Anakin and Tahiri we’d have to worry about.”

“You’re right about Anakin wanting to keep this private,” Face said. “As far as we know only the Holds, Valin and Paloma know the full story, but Winter gave cookies to Kell and me as well, just in case. And here they come. We’ll tell them we have more and see what they want to do.”

They all nodded in agreement and watched the two approach, Luke feeling nothing but sympathy when he saw how swollen Tahiri’s eyes were from crying.

“Sorry about that,” Anakin began, as soon as they rejoined the group. “I guess we owe you guys an explanation.”

Luke was surprised to see hear his nephew coming right out with it.

“Tahiri had medical wafers in her pack, wafers that I need because of what happened to my body on Myrkr. She’s concerned that the mission might be too strenuous and that I’ll need those wafers.”

“Actually,” Luke cut in, “Your mom didn’t tell us why, but she gave us all bags of wafers in case you needed more.”

Luke’s explanation was cut short when Tahiri burst into tears again.

Anakin wrapped his arms around her again and said, “See, my love, it’s all going to be okay.”

Tahiri nodded, then looked up at him, “But you promised.”

“I know. I’m still going to do it.” Then he turned back to the group. “I’m going to do a healing trance. Tahiri will levitate me, and we’ll need a couple of you to pull me along. I know it’s going to be a drag, no pun intended, but it’s the only way to put Tahiri’s mind at ease. If we run into trouble say ‘twenty-one’ and I’ll come right up and be ready to go. If we don’t run into trouble, I’ll come up when we stop for the night and I’ll take my turn on patrol, if everyone is okay with this.”

Everyone nodded and Tahiri visibly relaxed, then sat down on the nearest rock to catch her breath. When she’d finally calmed down she looked around and asked, “How many cookies did Leia give you all?”

Everyone went through their packs and dumped out their supplies.

Tahiri did a quick glance and nodded. “Not as many as I lost, but with the healing trance, this should be plenty to get us through the final day. And we’ll just have to guess where your blood sugar is at since we lost the testing kit.”

Jaina held up a small device from her pack. “Is that what this is?”

Tahiri gasped. “Where did you get that?”

Jaina shrugged. “Mom. She didn’t tell me what it was, she just said to give it to you if Anakin needed it. She said you’d know what to do with it and to give it to you of there was an emergency.”

Tahiri sniffed, and nodded her head, then whispered, “Thanks, Jaina.” And then began to cry again when Jaina moved to sit beside her and wrapped her arms around her and said, “Hey, that’s what big sisters are for. I know you've never had one, but you need to get used to it.”


The Right Thing To Do/Carly Simon

 

Awesome! All those reserve wafers and the testing kit. What a load off! And the strategy for helping Anakin keep his strength up. And what Jaina said. She's really a sweetheart and supportive.

 

Chapter 25​

​

Tell Me Something Good​

Anakin was feeling much better.

Seven hours in a healing trance had made a huge difference. Knowing that Tahiri was doing a trance of her own added to his peace of mind.

She’d been exhausted when they’d stopped to make camp, and Anakin had hated seeing her so worn out, but all he’d been able to do was cradle her, help her into her own trance, and leave her to rest while he took his turn on patrol.

He was more than physically ready for this, he was mentally and emotionally ready. He’d been waiting a long time for the conversation that was about to take place.

He casually flipped one of his lightsabers up in the air, caught it, then flipped it again as he and Luke walked the perimeter of the camp. After a few minutes, the silence finally got the better of him.

“So, Uncle Luke, what do you want to bet there will be a group of very curious little Jedi pretending to sleep but will really be using their Force enhanced listening skills for the next couple of hours?”

“Why would you think that?”

Anakin rolled his eyes. “Luke… come on.”

“What?”

Even in the dark, Anakin had no trouble imagining his uncle’s earnest expression.

“This is the first time you and I will be talking alone in almost three years. You don’t think the others are going to be curious about what we have to say to one another?”

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Okay, maybe you’re right?”

“Maybe?” Anakin fought to keep the incredulity from his voice, and almost gave up, wondering if his hopes of having a genuine heart to heart talk with his uncle were in vain.

“Okay, you’re right.”

Finally, Anakin thought, but said, “So, what do you want to start with?”

“What do you want to start with?”

“I’m okay with whatever you want to start with. We've got a lot to cover.”

“True,” Luke admitted. “I suppose we could start with whether you have any desire to come back to the Order.”

That, Anakin thought, was as good a place as any. “Do you want me to come back to the Order?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then how come you've never asked?”

“Because I didn’t think you wanted to.”

“Fair enough.”

“Do you want to come back?”

“No.”

Luke sighed heavily. “Well, that’s topic number one down.”

“That’s it?” Anakin didn’t know whether to be insulted that Luke would give up so easily, or relieved that they hadn't started fighting yet.

“I don’t see that my begging will help.”

“Really? You’re usually pretty relentless in your recruiting methods. I’m not sure whether to be happy that you’re letting me off so easily or offended that you’re letting me off so easily.”

“Well, for one, this isn’t an average ‘recruiting’ issue, and two, I don’t think it will get us anywhere, so what’s the point? But I reserve the right to go back to that one later.”

Anakin chuckled, but then grew serious. “Alright, why don’t we skip to your convoluted, and grossly misguided request for Tahiri to join you in the ground assault while I flew cover for the Falcon.”

Anakin could almost feel Luke’s grimace as he said, “Probably not the best way to go about that.”

“Not one of your more shining moments.”

“No, and I’m sorry for that. Believe it or not, I wasn't trying to be underhanded. I was actually trying prevent a difficult situation from blowing up.”

“And in the process blew it up.”

“Yeah. But was there a way it could have been avoided?”

“I don’t know... maybe if Jacen hadn't been in the room it wouldn't have blown up quite so big.”

“Well, Jacen isn’t a father, but that was sort of a separate matter.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that one.” Anakin conceded.

“And once we all sat him down and walked him through it, I think he sort of saw just how reprehensible his suggestion was, though I doubt he’ll really fully understand until he has a child of his own. But back to the issue at hand; how could I have handled that better?”

“You could have come right out and said that you needed Tahiri, and that Jacen and I needed to address our issues so that they wouldn't interfere with the mission. Maybe that way we might have been able to do just that, but the way you handled it was kriffed.”

Luke sighed miserably, “You’re right, it was. But to be honest, I didn’t think of doing it that way because I don’t know how to talk to you anymore.”

“Why, because I’m not in the Order? Because I’m no longer an apprentice that you can issue orders to? Or because you think that I don’t respect the Order’s way of doing things?”

“All of the above? Or, more because I feel you don’t respect me specifically.”

“Why would you think that?”

Luke was silent for a long moment, then he stopped walking and turned to Anakin and said, “Your behavior since you've been back from Myrkr, or rather, your lack of communication. And because I don’t know you anymore.”

“I’m still me, I’m still you’re nephew, and the lack of communication goes both ways. Frankly, I’m a little tired of taking all the blame for the fact that I haven’t spoken to anyone in the family. I’ve been in one place for the last year. You could have contacted me at any time.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to.”

“I know I was angry when I asked you all to leave the med frigate, but again, you've known where I was; you could have reached out.”

“You’re right, and that is my fault. But aside from that, you've changed, you’re older, and you've been through things that I don’t know about, you've grown and I don’t know the person you've grown into.”

“Luke, all my education, all my training came from you and the other Masters at the academy, just like Jacen and Jaina. We all had all the same lessons, a lot of them learned at your knee. The only two significant differences between my learning and theirs was the time I spent with Mara and the time I spent on Myrkr.”

“But that’s just it; none of the rest of us went through what you went through on Myrkr, and regardless of what you say, that had to have changed you. I know it has. Plus, you’re a husband and a father now, and I know, from my own experience, that that changes a man, it realigns your priorities, how you view the galaxy. It changes how you make your decisions. You can’t deny that you make decisions differently now that you have Tahiri and Will to think about.”

Anakin shrugged as he considered Luke’s words then began to walk again. “I’m not sure. I think I still make my choices for the same reasons, but if you do think I’m different, and you want to get to know me again, all you have to do is ask. Like I said, you've known where to find me. All you had to do was fly over to the Lusankya and strike up a conversation.”

“I’m asking now. Tell me what happened to you on Myrkr.”

Anakin shrugged again and took a deep breath, wondering how to start, then began. “I’m not sure I came back someone different, I don’t know, maybe you’re right, maybe I did. Or, maybe, I just came back more of who I already was.”

“In what way?”

“You've been around ysalamri, you know what it’s like to not be able to touch the Force.”

“Yeah, I have, it’s not pleasant.”

“Well imagine that for fourteen months.”

“I’m not sure that I can.”

“It was like waking up blind. And not only did I spend every day on Myrkr trying not to die, but I spent every day trying not to die without senses that I’ve spent my life taking for granted. Even when I’d been around ysalamir, it had only been for a few hours at most. But fourteen months… no telekinesis, no telepathy, no extrasensory perception. And when I got back, even though I could touch the Force again, my senses were so shot; I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was like being a candidate all over again. Worse. It was beyond frustrating. I could barely handle a lightsaber. And as if all of that wasn't bad enough, I was alone on Myrkr, no one to talk to.”

Anakin held the lightsaber he’d been casually flipping up in the air and lifted it in his hand, as though feeling its weight, then continued talking.

“When Mara and I were on Dantooine she told me that I used the Force as a tool, like a hydrospanner, Corran told me the same thing on Yag’dhul, and they were both right. And the truth is I still use the Force that way, Myrkr didn’t change that—if anything, my experience has made me rely on the Force more than I used to, but now I’m aware of why I do it; it makes life easier and maybe that’s what I mean when I say I didn’t come back any different. I can do things that most people can’t. I’m faster, I’m stronger, my reflexes are quicker. I sense things others can’t. These are gifts. The difference between now and before Myrkr is that if I did take these things for granted before, I don’t now.”

“I can understand that. Before Mara and I were married she accused me of doing the same thing, relying too heavily on the Force, using it as a tool. She also accused me of taking on too much responsibility for those around me.”

“I think she has always seen a lot of similarities between us. And I think she’s always been quick to try to stop me from making what she thought were your mistakes.”

Luke grinned. “I think you may be right.”

“The thing is, I don’t think the things she’s tried to warn me against were necessarily mistakes on your part, or at least I wasn't making them to the degree that you did because I was never in the position of power that you were in.”

“But she’s always thought that one day you might be.”

“Yeah, her and a lot of other people, and it’s never a belief I’ve encouraged or wanted any part in. And to be honest, it’s one of the reasons I’ve been okay with not being a part of the Order since I’ve been back.”

“Because you don’t want that responsibility?”

“Because I don’t want people looking up to me before I’m worth looking up to. Because I’m not worthy of wearing that mantle.”

“Speaking from experience, again, it’s a heavy burden.”

“One I don’t look forward to carrying, ever, but especially at twenty-one – when I haven’t actually earned it yet.” Switching gears, Anakin asked, “Have you ever asked yourself why you were born with the ability to touch the Force? Why our family and not someone else’s? Why the Skywalkers and not the Antilles? And why all of us? Why didn’t Jaina take after Dad? Why were all three of Han and Leia’s kids born with this ability as opposed to only one or two of us?”

“I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”

“The expectation was that all three of us would be Force-sensitive. You and Mom started reaching out to all three of us from almost the moment we were conceived.”

“I suppose that was a lot of pressure to place on the three of you.”

“Yes, more expectations, but from a certain point of view it was understandable. We were Darth Vader’s grandchildren, Luke Skywalker’s niece and nephews, and yet neither you or Mom knew you were Force sensitive until you were adults.”

“True, it wasn't until Obi-Wan turned up in my life that I even knew about the Force, let alone knew I could touch it, and not until he and Yoda told me about your mother that we had any idea that she might be able to.”

“Exactly. And yet it never crossed anyone’s minds that Jaina, Jacen or I wouldn't be Force sensitive.”

“No, I guess it didn’t.”

“Now, did you ever expect to have the same relationship with Jaina that you have with Jacen?”

“No.”

“Why not.”

“Because they’re different people.”

“Exactly, just like Dad’s relationships to Jaina, and Jacen and me are all different because we are all different people. He can’t have the same relationship with me that he has with Jacen because Jacen and I are two different people. There was never any expectation that Dad would have the same relationship with all of us because we’re all different and we've all had different experiences with Dad. None of us in the family has a ‘wrong’ relationship with each other; just different.”

“So what you’re saying is that just like we assumed that you’d all be Force sensitive, we assumed that you’d all have the same relationship with the Force?”

“Right. And you’re wrong. Every one of us has a different relationship with the Force, just like everyone one of us has a different relationship with each other. Jacen and I can’t have the same relationship with the Force because Jacen and I are two different people.”

“And this is what you learned on Myrkr?”

“No, what I learned on Myrkr is that it’s possible for me to survive without the Force, but that having the Force makes my life easier, just like it’s possible for me to micro adjust repulsor pads with a number three hydrospanner, but it’s a hell of a lot easier if I have a number two, so why would I even consider using a number three if I didn’t have to?”

“So what you learned on Myrkr is that the Force is nothing but a hydrospanner?”

“Of course not, I’m not that simple-minded. The Force is infinitely more than a tool. But part of my experience on Myrkr reinforced my view that the Force can be used as a tool.”

“And you don’t see the moral obligation in questioning motives or using the Force as a guide?”

“Absolutely, in fact I’ve done a lot of using the Force as a guide since I’ve been back from Myrkr, more than I ever have before, but I’ve tried to find a balance, I’ve tried to not let that stand in the way of what I see as my moral obligation to protect people.”

“Don’t you think that’s what I’m doing? What your brother is doing?”

“Honestly? I wonder sometimes. You and Jacen seriously debated whether or not we should have gone on the Voxyn mission. Jedi were dying. We could have all died. Your wife and your son were at risk. How did you not think that that mission needed to be undertaken?”

“I never said the mission didn’t need to be undertaken, I simply thought that the risks needed to be weighed and considered.”

“So did I, it just took me considerably less time to weigh them; were Jedi dying? Yes they were. Therefore, the mission needed to be undertaken. And again, my frustration with Jacen, with both of you, stems from the fact that everyone wants me to have the same relationship with the Force that he has. No one wants him to have the same relationship with the Force that I have. Why is that?”

“I don’t know.”

“If Jacen behaved the same way I did, if he went into every situation swinging his lightsaber first and asking questions later, as everyone accuses me of doing, he wouldn't be Jacen. If I sat and contemplated every situation instead of following my instincts Tahiri would be a Yuuzhan Vong, and the academy kids would have been handed over to the Vong instead of hidden in the caves below the Great Temple until Karrde’s people had gotten to them. The Voxyn would have hunted us until we were all gone. I had nothing to do on Myrkr for fourteen months but walk, think and not die and I spent a lot of time thinking about how all of us have a different relationship with the Force, and the fact that that is okay.

“We are all different, all of our instincts are different, the Force needs different things from all of us. My way of doing things may not be right for Jacen, but they’re right for me, and I take responsibility for my actions, whether they work or not. I’ve never asked that Jacen follow my path, why does everyone want me to follow his? Do you think the Force wants us all to follow the same path? Would all of us acting exactly the same way serve the Force?”

“I guess I’ve never really looked at it that way. I’ve never looked at it from the Force’s point of view, and as far as you and your brother, we've spent so many years trying to peel you two off of each other, and explaining you two to each other…”

“Have you ever explained me to him? Because I’ve heard earfuls from you and Mara and my parents explaining him to me, telling me to be patient, telling me to be understanding, and I’ve heard him telling me how wrong I am. Or did you just accept him and continue scolding me?”

“To be honest, now that you mention, I don’t know how much time we've actually spent explaining you to him.”

“I’d wager not much, given that none of the rest of you seem to get me either,”Anakin sighed.

“Okay, last topic.”

“The Force is telling me this one is big.”

“Tahiri.”

“Ahhhh… as though I’d read your mind.”

“Is that what drove you to Tahiri?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is that why you got married so young? Because she understood you and accepted you in a way that your family didn’t?”

“We got married because we were in love.”

“But why so young? You said yourselves, you waited to do anything too serious, so it wasn't because you were already sleeping together. And she wasn't pregnant yet when you got married.”

“I know we joke about it, but we actually do more than have sex.”

“Thank you for clarifying that. But I’m asking why you didn’t wait. Did we drive you away, did you feel the need to start your own family because you didn’t feel accepted by our family, and Tahiri always accepted you as you were?”

“It felt right. I knew that she and I were supposed to be together.”

“So it wasn't that we pushed you away?”

“I’m not sure that one has anything to do with the other. I loved her; I married her. It would have happened eventually, regardless of what was going on with the family. We were already planning it. The only reason you guys found out was because she got pregnant. If it hadn't been for Will, you guys still wouldn't know we were married, and we wouldn't be living our lives any differently, frankly.”

“Except that she would have gone to Myrkr.”

Anakin smiled. “Well, yeah, there is that.”

“Okay…” Luke sighed,

“I knew it, last topic, but you have fifty questions on this one.”

“At least fifty. Is she ever going to forgive me for the Maw?”

“Ah… the Maw. Another huge issue.”

“It’s almost like you’re channeling Jacen.”

“Don’t tell Tahiri, when I start trying to be funny and fail, she thinks I’m tired and she freaks and wants me to do a healing trance or a rejuvenation trance or starts trying to shove cookies down my throat. If I tell one bad joke, she wants to rush me to the med center.”

“Good thing she’s not married to Jacen, she’d have him on life support.”

Anakin laughed. “Wow… that may be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Now why don’t I ever get credit for being funny? Mara always gets the credit for being the funny one in our marriage.”

“That’s because she’s so scary, that no one expects her to be funny so it takes them by surprise.”

“Is she really that scary?”

“Luke… that woman killed for The Emperor… c’mon. I mean, the only two people in the galaxy scarier than her were grandpa and Palpatine.”

“‘Grandpa’. It’s so weird to hear you call him that. Especially when you say it to Tahiri.”

Anakin laughed again. “I wish I had a holo of the look on mom’s face that first night you guys were on the Lusankya and Tahiri said to call her ‘grandpa’ again. Priceless.”

“I thought your mother was going to explode.”

“Serves her right for naming me ‘Anakin’.”

“Anyway, back to the Maw.”

“The Maw.” Anakin sighed. “Ok, Tahiri has a large gaping hole in her heart that was created that day Tryst and Cassa were killed. Sliven didn’t even know how to begin to fill it. No matter how much I love her, I’ll never be able to fill it. Will has filled a tiny piece of it. That’s why she’s so desperate to have more children, because she needs that hole filled, but we've made a decision to wait until the war is over to have more kids. The day the peace treaty is signed, we’ll be spending that day trying to get pregnant again.”

“That may be more information than I needed.”

“Like the whole galaxy doesn't know what we’re doing when we’re off duty and Will’s asleep.”

“So that really is all you do?”

“We take breaks to eat and shower. Though showering usually leads right back to where we started.”

“Thanks for that insight.”

“When are people going to learn to stop asking?”

“The Maw?”

“The Maw. Tahiri has spent her life lacking people who love her, truly, deeply love her. It’s only been in the last couple of years, with me, and Will, and the Holds, Valin, and Paloma, and, believe it or not, the Commandos, that she’s really begun to feel loved in a way that I’ve known my whole life, that you have known for a lot of your life. Given Mara’s background, I know you know what I’m talking about.”

Luke nodded, and Anakin knew Luke understood.

“As obvious as it may seem to me, or to you and Mara, Tahiri hasn't the faintest idea how deeply you care for her. None whatsoever. And unfortunately, your trying to send her to the Maw only made that situation worse. She’s convinced that you tried to do that because you didn’t care, not that you tried to send her away to keep her safe. She may never get over you doing that, and that may forever color her belief that you do care.”

“So, the only way to win back her trust is to talk and listen and put in time.”

“Pretty much. And good luck with that. Her head’s thicker than Dad’s. Also, you should know, the likelihood of her ever rejoining the Order is very slim, whether I do or not.”

“Why is that? I sort of figured you two were a package deal.”

“Not on this. And it’s actually not because of the Maw. She didn’t resign because she was angry at you or to prove a point. She resigned because of Will.”

“What do you mean?”

“She knew that if she stayed in the Order she’d eventually she’d have to leave Will to go back out and fight and that there was a higher than average chance that she’d die and that Will would be an orphan. She was an orphan, she didn’t want that for him. Joining Intel and staying on the Lusankya enabled her to contribute to the war effort, support herself and Will, keep him with her, and at the same time keep them relatively safe. She thought she was going to be raising him alone. Even when I came back, she assumed in the beginning that I would eventually join up with the Jedi, and that the chances of something else happening to me would be high. She told me that I was free to make whatever choice I wanted but that she would be staying with Intel and Will would be staying with her.”

“So that’s why you don’t want to come back?”

“Partially, and partially, as I said, I don’t want the responsibility that goes with other people’s expectations of thinking I’m going to be the next Luke Skywalker, and partially because I really enjoy what I’m doing. We’ll see how I feel when the war is over. I may get bored in a year and decide that I miss swinging a lightsaber first and asking questions later.”

“Cute.”

“Next?”

“Tahiri’s cookies.”

“I would have thought that would have been higher on the list.”

“What are they for?”

“Tahiri didn’t tell you?”

“No. And Jaina only told us that they were medical wafers while you and Tahiri were having your little talk in the field. She said she thought you needed them because your body hasn't recovered from what happened on Myrkr.”

“Basically.”

“But Tahiri didn’t say anything while you were in the trance and I got the feeling there was something else. The way Tahiri reacted when her pack fell and we weren’t able to get it back… the look on her face when you said they were just cookies and that you’d be fine.”

Anakin smiled ruefully. “You don’t miss much.”

“She also slapped you pretty hard. I’d have to have been a spiced up Hutt to have missed that.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“It wasn't just the cookies. There was something else.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Like I said, the look on Tahiri’s face. I’ve known her a long time. I’ve seen her scared before. And Anakin, she wasn't just scared, she was terrified.” Anakin watched as realization lit Luke’s face. “The Force showed you something.”

“From a certain point of view.”

“I hate it when my platitudes are thrown back in my face.”

“Probably almost as much as I hate your platitudes.”

“Fair enough. What did the force show you?”

“That it’s always in motion?”

“Anakin…”

“What might have happened on the Voxyn mission. But it didn’t.”

“What did that have to do with today?”

“Something that I said reminded Tahiri of what we were shown and it scared her.”

“What you were shown must have been pretty clear to have caused her to react like that.”

“It was, but it didn’t happen, and it didn’t happen today either, so it’s fine.”

“How many times am I going to have to ask you to tell me what you saw?”

“You might as well stop, because I’m not going to tell you.”

“What?” Luke asked, clearly stunned by Anakin’s refusal to answer him.

“I hope you take this with the respect that it’s intended, but I’m not going to tell you, so you need to stop asking me.”

Luke continued to look at him in shock.

“Look, you may find this hard to believe, but I’ve spent years thinking about this, years meditating on this, this is part of what I thought about on Myrkr, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best that I not share this. Remember what I just said about using the Force as a guide? I have not made this decision lightly. In fact, there haven’t been many decisions in my life that I have made lightly. Yavin, not made lightly. Yag’Dhul, getting married, not made lightly. Going on the Voxyn mission, staying on the Lusankya, coming here, Chewbacca; not a single one of those decisions have I made lightly. And contrary to what I’m sure most people believe, there isn’t a single one of those choices that I would change because as hard as all those choices were, as bad as some of the outcomes were, I know I made those choices for the right reasons. And now, making the choice to not to tell you about what the Force showed me before Myrkr, I know I’m making for the right reason because I’ve been asking the Force and the Force has been very clear. I know in my heart that the Force does not want me sharing this right now.”

“Does Tahiri know?”

Anakin stopped short and stared as his uncle. “Are you kidding me?”

“What? That doesn't seem like a valid question?”

“Are you jealous that my wife knows and you don’t? Or are you jealous that a Jedi Academy dropout knows and the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order doesn't?”

Luke opened his mouth to say something, but Anakin cut him off.

“Look, I’m going to assume, for the sake of argument, that your marriage works like mine does; that Mara is your best friend and closest confidante, that you tell your wife things that you wouldn't tell another soul, that you confide your deepest, darkest secrets in her. That she knows you better than you know yourself. That for that very reason, she can call you on your crap in a way no other being can, and for that very reason you trust her to keep you honest in a way that no one else can. Does your marriage work that way?”

Luke sighed. “Basically.”

“You want to ask me again if Tahiri knows?”

“I guess the better question would be if she’d figured it all out before you had?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“She always was a sharp girl.”

“Yes again, and for your information, her final opinion was that she trusted me to make the best choice and that she would support whatever I wanted to do.”

Luke chuckled. “And if she’s anything like my wife, she informed you of what the best choice was.”

“Exactly. See, we’re practically married to the same woman.”

“You know, in some ways, they really are a lot alike.”

“In some ways all the women in this family are a lot alike, in that they’re headstrong and don’t like to be told what to do and have no problem putting us in our place. Clearly we’re all attracted to a certain type. Which is sort of ironic. Really makes me wonder what your mother was like.”

“Yeah, I’ve wondered that for years.”

“I mean, imagine, a woman like my mother, little, and all bossy, married to the man who became Darth Vader. Would have been something to see.”

“Your mom, your sister, Mara, and Tahiri all rolled into one?”

“Spooky. Speaking of my sister, there’s a rumor going around that she had to be pulled off of Jacen after the ‘Big Breakfast’.”

Luke grimaced before saying, “We were trying to keep that quiet.”

“I guess Jag didn’t get the memo.”

“Figures he’d be the one to spill the story.”

“I think he’s developed a whole new appreciation for his girlfriend.”

“Good, he’ll never survive as a man in this family otherwise.”

As they neared the camp again, came within a few meters, Anakin stopped walking and put his hand on Luke’s arm to hold him in place. When he had is uncle’s full attention he looked into his eyes and said; “Luke, there is one thing that I will tell you; The Potentium is crap. There is a Darkside. Respect it, fear it, never forget that it is real. For Ben’s sake, for Mara’s sake, for Tahiri’s and Jaina’s. Be vigilant. Do not ever let your guard down.”

Luke gave him a solemn look, but didn’t say anything.

Anakin nodded over towards where Jaina and Jacen were sleeping. “You want to wake them up for their turn, or do you want me to?”

Luke continued to look at Anakin for a moment, and Anakin knew, could tell by his uncle’s expression that he was taking everything that Anakin had just said in, was taking it seriously, and for that Anakin was glad. Then Luke let out a breath and said, “I’ll do it, you go rest.”

“Okay.” Anakin nodded, “I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Anakin had been right when he’d said that there would be curious Jedi listening to his conversation with Luke. Unfortunately, they’d walked far enough away during their patrol that Jacen hadn't been able to hear most of that conversation. He had heard the tail end of it though and had been surprised by both what his little brother had said, and by the conviction with which he’d said it.

He’d never have thought Anakin would have been so convinced that the Dark Side was something to fear. Jacen had also found it curious that Anakin hadn't mentioned him or Will when he’d warned Luke about the Dark Side. He’d mentioned Ben and Mara, and Tahiri and Jaina, but not his brother or his son.

Jacen sat up as Luke approached, “Hey, everything was quiet I assume?”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, should be for you and Jaina as well.”

Jacen unzipped his sleeping bag and reached for his boots. “Why don’t you get some sleep. I’ll get Jaina up.”

“Okay. If we’re not all awake in two hours get us up. We should head about 0700.”

Jacen nodded and watched as Luke headed over to Mara, waited until his uncle had settled in and then reached out with the Force to make sure Luke was asleep. It didn’t take long. Luke was famous within the family for being able to go from wide awake to out cold in under three minutes.

Next he felt for Jaina. When he was sure she was still sleeping he reached for Anakin.

His younger brother was doing another healing trance, oblivious to all around him.

Confident that the coast was clear and that he wasn't going to get caught, Jacen stood up and made his way over to Anakin and Tahiri, then bent down and placed and hand on Tahiri’s shoulder and whispered, “Forty-two.”

Tahiri’s eyes shot open instantly, and she was sitting up with a lightsaber in her hand a second later, her other hand braced on Jacen’s chest, a quizzical look in her eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s our turn to patrol.”

“I thought Jaina was going out with you.”

There was no question that Tahiri was suspicious, and Jacen knew that shielding his intentions was probably pointless, but he stuck to the lie he’d planned on using anyway and hoped she’d go along with it.

“She patrolled earlier with Mara, they decided to give you longer to rest, so it’s you and me now.”

He held her gaze, and was relieved when she just nodded, though he could tell that she didn’t believe him.

Tahiri turned toward Anakin, brushed his hair off his forehead, leaned down and kissed him, then reached for her boots and pulled them on before standing up. She grabbed her equipment belt from the pile of weapons at the foot of her and Anakin’s beds and was fastening it on as she headed off away from the camp ahead of Jacen.

They’d been walking quietly for a good ten minutes and Jacen was a little surprised that she’d remained so, given her reputation for talking, when she finally spoke.

“How about we end this awkward silence, and, while we’re at it fore go any crap. You obviously have something to say to me given the fact that you lied to get me alone, so why don’t you spit it out before I die of curiosity.”

“You don’t mince words do you?”

“I try not to. It’s a waste of time.”

“Right. So, uhm… this morning…”

“What about it?”

“I owe you a thank you.”

Tahiri shrugged. “You don’t owe me anything, contrary to what Anakin says.”

“Well, I feel like I do, whether he says so or not.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about it.”

“You would have done the same thing, or not.”

“Well, yeah, I guess, but I wanted to thank you anyway.”

“Forget it.”

“You saved my life. Not something to just forget. And, as Anakin pointed out; it wasn't the first time.”

“Yeah, well, whatever. You thanked me earlier. You didn’t need to lie to get me alone so you could thank me again.”

“Actually, that wasn't all I wanted to do.”

Tahiri whipped around and had the emitter of her lightsaber in Jacen’s face instantly and growled, “I can take you.”

Jacen’s mouth fell open as he stared at his sister-in-law before batting her hand away and saying, “You and my brother are a match made in Hell. It’s just Kriff and Combat with you two, isn’t it? Do you duel to decide who’s going to change Will’s diapers?”

Tahiri punched Jacen lightly in the stomach. “Sorry for misunderstanding. What precisely did you drag me out here to do?”

“Sorry, I worded that badly. I wanted to talk to you about is Hapes.”

“I’d rather duel.”

“How surprising.”

“Maybe it’s best to leave the past in the past.”

“I think that would be a mistake.”

“Fine, you dragged me out here in the middle of the night to say what?”

Jacen ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “I haven’t liked you for a long time.”

Tahiri rolled her eyes and turned to begin walking again. “Yeah, you’re right, drudging it up and reminding me that you hate me would be so much more fun.”

“That isn’t what I wanted to do either.”

“Well starting off by reminding me that you don’t like me is a little misleading then. And by the way, I haven’t liked you either.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“So now that we've reestablished that we don’t like each other, can we drop it?”

“No, and if you’d keep your mouth shut for like three minutes while I get out what I want to say you’ll see that I actually have a point to make.”

“Other than the fact that you hate me?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. You have three minutes.”

“Thank you. And just for the record, I haven’t given Anakin enough credit for patience.”

“Two minutes. I can’t wait to see the look on your brother’s face when he finds out you lied to get me alone so you could tell me you hate me.”

“That’s mature.”

“I’m not the one who lied so I could tell you I don’t like you.”

“I didn’t lie to tell you that. I lied to thank you and to tell you why I don’t like you.”

“That’s… weird.”

“You said you’d keep your mouth shut.”

“Fine. Talk.”

“Fine. I’m talking. I didn’t like you because you pulled Anakin away from us.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Tahiri…”

“Fine, but do you think you can walk and talk at the same time, we are supposed to be patrolling.”

Jacen stifled the urge to smack her upside the head, then began walking, and when she stepped up beside him to follow suit he began again.

“I thought you pulled him away from us. I saw the pull you had on him and I could see that there would come a day when he would be all yours, he wouldn't be ours anymore, and I didn’t like that. And I’ve spent years disliking you for that, and frankly, you made it easy to not like you, you sort of played into that really well. But I realize now that you didn’t start it, it started with Sernpidal.”

Jacen stopped walking and looked at Tahiri and saw that he finally really had her attention, saw that she was finally really listening, so he kept going, both walking and talking again, with her keeping step beside him.

“We lost Anakin at Sernpidal. What you did was hold Anakin together. I mean, he held himself together for a while, long enough for me to be able to ignore that Sernpidal was what really caused us to lose him, or was the beginning of us losing him. Centerpoint was part of it too. But even after that, he still held himself together. Then you gave him what he needed to build himself back up, to be able to put Sernpidal and Centerpoint behind him, or, as much as anyone can put things like that behind them. But I didn’t realize until just recently that that’s what happened. So when we got to Hapes, I already had issues with you because I saw you as the one who had robbed me of that last year with my brother.”

Tahiri continued to stare at Jacen as they walked, and he could tell that she was dumbfounded.

“I knew what was going on between you and Anakin on the Venture, and some of the others figured it out on Eclipse, the younger Jedi, well, some of it. In fact we ran interference for you a few times. We figured nothing good would come of Kam or Corran walking in on you in the kitchen… or in a service elevator… or a maintenance closet… or an air duct off of the main meeting room… we should have let you get caught that time, you were just asking for it.”

If the crux of what Jacen was trying to get out wasn't so serious might have felt sorry for Tahiri, or might have laughed as her embarrassment raged in the Force and she stopped walking to drop her face into her hands.

“Oh my stars…”

“Yeah, well… what else were we going to do? And Zekk and Ganner were having fun running bets on how far you two were actually going. I was the only one who realized you were having sex in the air duct, though how you managed it I’m not sure I want to know and I didn’t see any reason for my brother to get busted. Anyway, I had no idea that you actually considered yourselves married. We knew that you were in a serious relationship, but I hoped it would eventually fizzle out. I prayed it would because I hated you so much. And a part of me was glad that he wasn't going to be around to be with you and Will, because I knew that we would never stand a chance of getting him back if we were competing against you and his baby. And then I felt guilty for that, which just fueled my anger at you.

“But I’ve realized that we aren't kids anymore, we’re adults, and we all have our own lives to live and the only thing that my anger over not having my brother in my life has done is drive him farther away.”

Tahiri shook her head in disgust and began walking again. “It’s taken you all these years to figure that out?”

“Well, in my defense, I’m sort of working with a handicap here; I grew up in a weird family.”

“You’ll get no argument from me there.”

Jacen forgot his own argument for a minute and asked, “What do you mean?”

“Anakin wasn't exaggerating when he said that it took him months to convince me to marry him. I may have been young, but even at fifteen I had issues with your family. You do realize you’re all spacey, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah… I mean… I’m sort of beginning too.”

“For Force sake Jacen, your grandfather was a mass murderer. Your mother and uncle were twins separated at birth and hidden from their mass murdering father. This kind of stuff only happens in holo-dramas. Bad holo-dramas. Your father was a galactically wanted criminal. Your parents are insurrections, who are only alive, as opposed to not having been executed, or serving life sentences in prison, because their side won their war, and your aunt was an assassin. And you’re all Force freaks. Not the sort of family every girl dreams of marrying into.”

“And yet you married into it. What does that say about you?”

“That I’m a sucker for a good kisser?”

“How would you know the difference? Who else have you kissed?”

“What do you know?”

“Oh, please. And besides, you’re a Force freak just like the rest of us.”

“Which is why I realized I’d better take Anakin up on his offer since my own status as a Force freak was probably going to limit my choices.”

“You should be proud to be a Solo.”

“I’m proud to be Anakin’s wife. I’m proud to be Will’s mother. The rest of you have sort of made careers out of making me miserable. But we've gotten off on a tangent. I’m dying to hear your take on how your family is crazy.”

“I wasn't going to say crazy. I was just going to say that most families aren't all in each other’s business the way ours is. I’m not sure most brothers and sisters are always together the way my mom and Luke are. I think that’s sort of… maybe… not normal. I mean, taking a vacation together and spending holidays together, that seems to be the norm… doing everything together, working together every single day, not eating a meal without the other, not making a decision or going to the ‘fresher without the other knowing… its sort of creepy, isn’t it?”

Tahiri chuckled at that. “Well, given that I’m an orphan, you might be asking the wrong person. I’m sort of at the other end of the spectrum.”

Jacen smiled and nodded his head a little. “Maybe. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think maybe I’ve had unrealistic expectations of always having my siblings with me, especially having a twin, and that expectation was sort of kriffed with by what happened at Sernpidal, but I didn’t realize it until later, and I didn’t want to blame my dad for contributing to the situation by how he treated Anakin, so it was easier for me to blame you for pulling Anakin away. And then after Centerpoint, I didn’t want to take the blame for driving Anakin even further away. And then with our different views of the Force, I didn’t want to take the blame for that driving the wedge deeper. Does that make sense?”

“I guess. I never thought of it that way. Since you and Anakin didn’t spend much time at the Academy together my relationship with him was always very separate from his relationships with all of you. And he didn’t talk about Sernpidal or Centerpoint much, as I’m sure you can imagine. Even now, it’s still hard for him. And it wasn't until after Yag’ Dhul that your family were all on the Venture with us, and by that point Anakin and I were pretty wrapped up in ourselves.”

“And you two never wondered why I disliked you?”

“By that point you and Anakin were having such issues that we just assumed it was an extension of that, and obviously we were right.”

“Yeah. So, when we got to Hapes, and you blamed me for his not coming back, and I was already feeling guilty, it was really easy to lash out at you. And then when Mom blamed you, it was easy to latch onto that, to convince myself that it really was your fault, that if you hadn't told Anakin about Will, and then with everything you said to us…”

“We all said a lot of things that we shouldn't have.”

“True. You have a mouth on you like a spacer though. Where did you learn to talk like that? We went to the same school and I didn’t learn to talk like that.”

“I read a lot.”

“What were you reading? Stars, Tahiri. I’d never even heard of some of the names you called me.”

“I’m imaginative.”

“I guess. And you kiss my brother with that mouth?”

Tahiri gave Jacen a wide grin. “All day long.” But then she grew serious again. “He hates it though. I’d be in so much trouble if I ever talked like that in front of him. I’m not even allowed to say ‘kriff’.”

“Good, it’s not very ladylike.”

“Well, I’ve never claimed to be a princess.”

“That’s how he sees you though. He thinks you’re perfect.”

“Hardly. He’s painfully aware of all my faults. If you ask him to I’m sure he’ll list them for you. In aurebecshic order.”

“That’s not what I mean. Yes, he’s aware of your faults, but he’s able to see past them, and see the ways in which you are perfect, and he adores you.”

“It goes both ways.”

“I know. I see that now. I really do. And I see how hard you've both worked, and I never gave you guys credit for how seriously you take your relationship. I guess because you were so young, and I was older, and I wasn't in a place where I would have been able to take a relationship that seriously, I assumed that you weren’t able to either, then I judged you two based on how I would have dealt with it.”

“That’s understandable. And to be honest, we didn’t have the faintest idea of what we were doing back then. We thought we did at the time, we thought we understood the magnitude of what we were doing, but we look back on it now and laugh at ourselves. And I’m sure in five years, we’ll look back and laugh at ourselves now.”

“If you’re able to say that, maybe you won’t.”

“I guess time will tell. And, I think as far as taking it seriously, or understanding it, the most important thing is that we are each other’s best friend. That hasn't changed since we were children. That will never change. Even when we split up, the hardest part of that time for both of us was that when we were both so bruised and lonely and scared, the one thing we both needed most, and didn’t have was our best friend. And afterwards, when I told him about Hapes, and we split up the second time, when he came back, well, he came back home almost every day and then left again, but the reason he kept coming back was because he needed his best friend, and yet what hurt him the most was the fact that his best friend had done this to his family, not that his wife had, if that makes any sense.”

“I think I get it. The level of trust is different.”

“Sort of. He could almost understand how, as his wife, I said some of those things, but as his best friend, the person he’d shared with for all those years, things he felt about your mother, as his best friend, I shouldn't have betrayed his trust like that. It was sort of a double betrayal and that’s what caused the most damage and what we've had to work the hardest to rebuild.”

“How long did it take?”

“We’re still working on it. It will never be the same. It may be as strong again, it may even be stronger one day, but it will never be what it was. What we lost is gone forever because there was an innocence to it that we can never recapture. We’re adults now. We’ll never be children again, and what was done can never be undone, it can only be learned from.”

“Wow. You want to be my therapist?”

“No, but I’m sure Dr. Abay can make a good recommendation.”

“He wouldn't want to be my therapist either?”

“Conflict of interest. We've devoted far too many hours in his office to Anakin’s relationship with you for him to be able to take you on as a patient.”

“Really? Anakin has talked about me with his therapist?”

“Are you kidding? Do you realize how much the issues between you two hurts him? You’re his big brother. It kills him that you two don’t get along.”

“I just assumed he thought I was a self-righteous ass and could care less whether I lived or not.”

“Well, half of that is right. But ask yourself this; why would this relationship matter so much to you and not to him? You've just spent an hour explaining to me why you've hated me for stealing your brother away. Obviously you love him deeply or you wouldn't have cared that I ‘took’ him. Why would you think that you mean any less to him? He would love to get along with you.”

“But not enough to change the way he does things.”

“Would you want him to? Really? Would you want him to be anyone other than who he is?”

Jacen sighed heavily. “I don’t know.”

“No? Anakin’s best quality is his goodness. The very core of his being is his goodness, and it’s beautiful, and everything he does, everything he is, stems from that goodness. Even with all of your differences, I know you see that.”

“Maybe.

“He sees it in you. As angry as he gets with you, he sees that same goodness in you. It’s why it keeps breaking his heart that things are the way they are between you two. Because he sees that goodness and he can’t figure out why it’s there and he’s not on the receiving end of it.” Tahiri closed her eyes and a peaceful smile spread across her face before she spoke again. “Speak of the Sith… time to stop talking about him, here he comes.”

A rustling sound came from a couple of trees and Anakin appeared from behind them.

“That’s right, no more spilling secrets.” Anakin said as he made his way to where Tahiri and Jacen had stopped walking. “I came to makes sure I still had a wife and a brother. Either one of you could have buried the body by now.”

Jacen rolled his eyes. “Now who isn’t funny?”

Anakin chuckled as he stepped up behind Tahiri. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and leaned his chin on her shoulder and kissed her cheek, and whispered; “Hi.”

“Hi. Why aren't you sleeping?”

“Came out of my trance and it’s hard to sleep without my favorite pillow.” He answered as he sat down, pulling Tahiri with him onto his lap.

Jacen sat opposite them, studying his brother. If Anakin was upset that Jacen had lied to get Tahiri alone, or even knew about it, he didn’t seem upset, not overtly, and the fact that the conversation with Tahiri had ended well gave Jacen hope that Anakin wouldn't take a lightsaber to him for his deception.

“Everyone else is waking up anyway.” Anakin continued, as he rested his face in Tahiri’s neck. “Do Yuuzhan Vong really not need to sleep much? Huane said she’s been up for an hour already.”

Jacen watched Tahiri snuggled into his brother and sigh. “Not much. The shaping wreaked all kinds of havoc on my sleep cycles.”

“And all this time I thought I was the one wreaking havoc on your sleep cycles back then.”

“Hey,” Jaina called, as she joined the group, “Thanks for covering my patrol Tahiri. How was it?”

“Blissfully quiet.” Jacen answered for her.

“If you don’t count Jacen’s inability to stop talking. And people say I don’t shut up.”

“She matched me word for word.” Jacen countered.

Jaina eyed them both suspiciously. “So it wasn't a mistake to have you two patrol together? I’m grateful for the extra sleep, thanks for offering to go for me.”

“We endured it.” Jacen shrugged, hoping Tahiri wouldn't out him.

“It was fine, just don’t expect us to do it again.” Tahiri said, cocking an eyebrow at Jacen.

Jacen grinned back at her, then added, “Really, there’s only so much I can take on one mission.”

“What about me? As if the shaping wasn't enough torture for one war.” Tahiri countered, and Jacen knew he was forgiven, at least a little.

Anakin chuckled and kissed the top of Tahiri’s head. “How about a twenty-minute trance before we pack up and start our day?”

“Right here?”

“Yeah, I’ll hold you while you do it.”

“Sounds good. Just don’t get grabby while I’m not awake to enjoy it.”

“You’re no fun.”

Jaina rolled her eyes and muttered, “You two are disgusting,” as she walked away.

“So we've been told.” Anakin called after her. Then, he gazed into Tahiri’s eyes, and smiled as her eyes rolled and her head fell against his chest, and he cradled her to himself.

Jacen shook his head and asked, “She really can’t do that on her own?”

“She can when she’s at home in total quiet with no distractions, but anywhere else, it’s easier and quicker if I do it with her.”

“Maybe if she’d kept training...”

“Maybe. So, did you work out what you were hoping to work out?”

“What do you…” but Jacen gave up trying to pretend he didn’t know what Anakin was talking about when Anakin raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I think we worked it out.”

“Good. I’m impressed. You guys almost looked like you were enjoying each other’s company.”

Jacen smiled, then looked at the ground for a second before looking back at Anakin and shrugging. “She’s alright.”

Anakin smiled back. “Yeah, I might even keep her.”

“You should. She loves you, a lot.”

“I love her too, a lot.”

Jacen grew serious as he looked his brother in the eye, “I know Anakin, I know. I understand now. And I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“Thank you.”

Jacen nodded, then stood up. “You want some caf?”

“No, but she’ll want some when she comes up.”

“I’m on it.” Jacen said as he walked toward camp.


Tell Me Something Good/Stevie Wonder

 

Things are finally looking up.
Good to see.
Good insights to everyone involved.
Going to be interesting if you do a sequel.

 

I loved the talks. The honesty, the humor, the humility and clarity on each side.

These kinds of things are crucial in building and rebuilding relationships. So whatever happens there doesn't have to be the guilt of leaving things unsaid. And if the best happens, there can be the joy of having better, closer ties.

Writing such things, on a strictly technical point, takes true and genuine insight into the characters and real skill with dialogue.