Free Trilogy needs completion

A new script that I have written needs completion, and as I am unable to complete it myself, I am offering it for other FanFilm directors. The first scrip is still being checked over and is in it's final stages, and the prediction of the length is that it will be 55 minutes long, maybe longer. Here is the story of the first film:



STAR WARS: RISING DARKNESS
Jedi's Fear


Over 100 years has passed since the Battle of Endor and the destruction of the final DEATH STAR. The Empire has been driven to the far edges of the galaxy, an the New Republic obtains peace for the Senate.

Collecting together the entire IMPERIAL REMANT and the SITH WARRIORS, the new GRAND ADMIRAL JEKS and his personal accomplice, the Sith Warrior DARTH CYPHER, cripple the New Republic and brutally murder as many of the JEDI KNIGHTS as they can.

In a state of depair, the remaining Republic Troops collect together, escaping the now-Sith ruled planets. Missing their diplomats, the political side of the REPUBLIC TASKFORCE is destroyed. as JACOB SOLO prays for his sister's life, a small frieghter enters the system....

If anyone is interested, please post and I will give more details. I am also preparing the soundtrack music I find suitable for each scene, which will be completed by the Middle of January.

 

Hmm... Your snippet didn't reveal much what is the story about? That seemed to tell me the setting, not the story...

 

Sorry, that's the opening crawl. the real Story:

all that first stuff about the empire and

-

Jacob and this guy in the frieghter, a smuggler with Jedi heratige (John Mandal) get stuck on Empire ruled Courusant, and travel to the lowest levels in search of a bounty henter known only as FETH. after a shootout in her-HER lair, they manage to escape the planet by following her and evading the Imperials.

they then travel to the Planet DRANOR Five in search of Jacob's sister, JAINA, and they end up breaking in to an Imperial Base. John, being a lost Jedi, senses a disturbance, and heads off in his own direction. Jacob does the same. Mandal however gets caught out by Feth, a Force-user bounty hunter, and is arrested and transfered to a prison camp in the south of the planet, where he meets his old master JACK REMUS and witnesses his death. He is warned in Jack's final words- "Save Jacob.."

Jacob has been imprisoned by Darth Cypher, and had his mystery force powers used against him, converting him to a Sith. John meets up with Jaina, and they follow CYPHER's ship to the Jedi Academy on INGUIL VII (seven) and confronts Jacob. In the final showdown versus CYPHER, a Bomb is set off and it becomes a race against time to escape.


Enough for you?

 

Not terribly compelling. And you seem to have an obsession with names starting with "J"s

 

LOL... I just noticed that...
I also agree the story doesn't jump out at you... I think people need to do different things...

 

What's wrong with names starting with J's? My name starts with a J. So do my brothers. And my sister. And my stepfather. Wow! That is a lotta J-ness goin' 'round!

Sage H.

 

I'm a J too. But I have a thing for short girls named Sarah

 

Okay, okay, some of it..sucks...

Any suggestions of improvments so i can change things a bit?

 

Take this to the writing forum. The fanfilm forum is for the production and postproduction aspect of it all.

 

Ok