FREEZE FRAMES - Vignettes of life in the Jedi Temple - UPDATED 11/19/03 Obi-centric, cradle to purge

Up!

 

Well, this is a bit out of order; I was supposed to be working on a post for my story on ff.n - but my muse had ideas of her own, so here it is.

And it is more than just the semi-conclusion of this little arc, it is also probably the last post I will put up on these boards. I am beginning the onerous process of reformatting this big boy, for reposting on ff.n - and I will almost certainly only post there from now on, except for one departing attempt to kick over one more anthill, on the Resource board, and a single effort to add one fic to the archives; a couple of friends volunteered their services to beta it, and I will submit it when they complete the task, though I have no idea if it will be accepted. Like much of my work, it may be considered too dark for these parts.

This is in no way a reflection on the individuals who have followed my work here; I am honored and thrilled by the talented writers who have replied to my posts, and I am heartened by the intelligence, and imagination and vision of the young people who hang out here. But I have realized, probably far later than I should have, that I am NOT a member of the same generation, and simply do not fit in with the ambiance here. I applaud the skill and talent of the writers on these boards, and wish you all well.

My only reservations involve a certain cattiness that erupts occasionally, a quickness to shoot from the hip and ask questions later - and an occasional suggestion of pettiness and rigid thinking that says anyone who marches to the beat of a different drummer is automatically suspect.

I, on the other hand, tend to like rogue rhythms.

Anyway, here it comes - and, if you wish to continue to follow it, or any other of my stories, you will find them on FF.n, and you can pull them up by searching on my penname.

I wish you all well, and bid you a fond adieu.

As always, George is the Creator of it all; without him, we have nothing - and if he sues, we still have nothing.

*** *** *** *** ***



Sub-Title: Whose Dream Is It Anyway?


He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

-- Douglas Adams --- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"


The Jedi Master was an intimidating figure as he made his exit (he refused to think of it as an escape) from the Council chamber, and paused to make sure that his demeanor projected only those traits suitable to his station: dignity, serenity, bottomless confidence. And if the emotions that roiled within him, beneath the adamantine shielding that was as natural to him as breathing, were vastly different from those perceived by those around him, only he would know the difference. Well, he - and one other, perhaps - but the hour was growing late, and he felt confident that there was little risk of encountering the eldest member of the Council during the trek back to his quarters; the little curmudgeon (a more dignified term than 'troll', he thought) ordinarily spent the twilight hours in solitary meditation within his own quarters, far from prying eyes and fidgeting bodies that could never quite achieve true serenity. It was, in fact, Master Yoda's contention - usually voiced when he was pretending to be above such petty emotions as annoyance - that attaining perfect tranquility was not possible for anyone who had not yet reached the age of maturity of the elder Master's own species; no one, as it happened, was quite sure what age that was - and Yoda wasn't volunteering the information - but Mace Windu had been known to mutter that the elder Jedi himself was stuck in some sort of infinite adolescence, and that true maturity was, itself, an illusion.

Qui-Gon - today - was inclined to agree.

How was it that he, and he alone, could see the shadowy portents that clung to the boy like pale, glistening strands of cobweb - strands spun by some huge, hulking arachnid, concealed in a cloak of thick darkness - waiting, biding its time?

How was it that he, and he alone, kn

 

This tale just keeps getting more and more heartbreaking every post. If I were those around Jinn I would probably be locked up by now for doing away with him! If you do move this for good please let me know so that I can force myself to visit that other site and continue to enjoy your wonderful talent.

 

I find that everything posted here is absolutly glorious. You're a spell binding writer one that makes us laugh, cry and think. Thank you.

My favorite line definition of a victim - innocent, blameless, deserving nothing of what would happen to him - but marked by destiny for a tragedy that would trigger a cataclysm such as the galaxy had never known.

 

Awesome CYN. I loved how close Valorum came to actually getting Qui-Gon to examine his own feelings. I really like how your are portraying him, he doesn't usually get much characterization.

As far as I am concerned, here or at ff.net, makes no difference to me, I will be reading your stories. See you there.

 

This is the first time I have seen Valorum portrayed as something more than a cardboard cutout to slide into a scene at convenient times. You gave him depth, intelligence, and above all, the wisdom to use it. I loved it!

 

You made me cry.... Amazing writing as always...

I like Qui-Gon's pain, and Vi'el's reaction. Once again, you manage to remind me why I like his character so much, his conflict. He seems to me almost the most human of the Jedi -- he has the faults and the mistakes that the others seem to hide so much more easily.

I'll follow you over to FF.N quite happily.

 

Beautiful Post as usual CYN . Your display of emotion is very powerful, and I must say it is what draws me too your stories like a moth to a flame. You are one of the few writers that I have found that can actually make me cry (both here and in the published world). I am not one who easily sheds tears, but your writing is so strong that I allow my empathetic self to become completely and hopelessly intwined in it.

You will be greatly missed here, but alas, we will always have your wonderful tales!!

And remember, where ever you go, the masses are sure to follow!

~ The Captain

p.s. I loved the quote at the beginning...it is not very often that I stumble across another person familiar with the Hitchhiker's books

 

Salutations, everyone, and to you, CYNICAL21! I?m not really new to the board ? I?ve been around for a while ? but this is the first time that the urge to post hit me. Mostly because I read more than I write, not to mention it takes me a while to put my thoughts into written form ? people who can find the inspiration to write on a regular basis always amazes me. I admit, however, that your impending departure from the board was the final push that motivated me to post.
Reading other people?s interpretation of the Star Wars mythos is really interesting, but, like everyone else, some aspects have more appeal to me than others. The stories that most interest me are the ones where the authors try to write a character they don?t like fairly, as opposed to making him the scapegoat for every perceived flaw in their favorite, who would otherwise be perfect. That?s how I perceive your treatment of Qui-Gon Jinn in Freeze Frames for the most part, CYNICAL21, as a complicated individual underneath his façade of serenity. Although you do seem to give into the urge to bash him every so often, here and on other threads, if the ?Master Lunkhead? or ?Buckethead? epithets are any indications.
I?m in complete agreement with the prevalent sentiment that you are a formidable writer, CYNICAL21. Your stories are imaginative and detailed, and I look forward to your interpretations of the Star Wars universe wherever you choose to post them. I admit, however, to being somewhat apprehensive about how you?ll choose to portray the events from the Jedi Apprentice series. Given your opinion of them, do you really feel that you can write a more balanced revision, one that doesn?t favor one character over the other? Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn are both characters that I like, but I find the latter to be more intriguing because not much is known about him, with just one movie appearance. It looks as though personality is his strong point as a character ? no one seems to make a point of his physical appeal the way it appears to be the norm with Obi-Wan. Then again, it?s fun to read all the descriptions of Obi-Wan ? he never looks quite the same from one story to the next!

 

G'day, Mates - and a hearty thanks for all the reassurances and expressions of interest. I do appreciate your time and effort - and I'm re-discovering something that I already knew, as I begin to attempt to format this monster for transfer.

This is a b-i-i-i-i-i-g-g-g-g mother!

Musing - welcome to the madhouse; I appreciate your thoughtful commentary, and will attempt to respond in kind - but there is really one one way to answer your question about writing JA in a fair and even-handed manner, in order to explore the characters with depth and perception: 'AHEM! If I can't write it better than JW, it really IS time to fold my tents and steal away into the gloom of oblivion. And, before anyone can offer that weary old defense, I will stipulate that I KNOW it's written for children; I KNOW it's not supposed to be particularly deep or confusing - but I absolutely canNOT let it go at that. Unless I'm mistaken, a certain lady named Rowling has penned a few tomes targeted at the very young - and she has yet to write such unadulterated drivel or to insult the mental capacity of her readers as JW does with every paragraph. Personally, I think the whole series should be retitled, "St. Qui-Gon Quixote and His Idiot Padawan, Sancho Kenobi." So I repeat, if I can't write them both - with some kind of examination of the man beneath the facade, some kind of exploration of who they are, and why they are - then it's time to hang up my keyboard.

But, in the end, I suppose the judgment will be up to those of you who decide to read it. It's dead certain that I will be content with my efforts, as I always am (there's that arrogance again ) but I'll depend on you guys to let me know if you think I miss the mark.

Gotta run. Ciao for now.

CYN

 

I remembered a quote from the post I wanted to include, but now I can't find it. Although, practically every sentence would be worth mentioning, they were all so haunting and thought-provoking.

You showed so perfectly Qui-Gon's struggles and never-ending conflict within himself, the voice he hears that seems to argue his own.

It continues to be a beautiful piece, and one of the very, very best around. I can't wait until you explore the realm of possibilities with JA.

I'm sure everyone will follow you over to that other site. Heck, sometimes its easier to read longish posts in that format!

Hope things are going the very best for you.

 

"Those who deserve guilt seldom stand still to embrace it. They are usually much too busy looking for a scapegoat to take the burden from them.?

Awesome quote. And if this your last story post here, well, we wouldn't expect YOU to go quietly into the night, eh?

Musing: CYN is one of the best authors I've known as far as trying to be fair to characters she doesn't care for personally - I mean, I'm an Anakin fan and still love her stuff.

Anyway, CYN, the boards will really lose something when you leave, and that's a statement I would not idly make.

-Tim

 

There are those who will attest to the fact that I've never done ANYTHING quietly in my entire life.

Thanks, Tim & LE - always good to hear from you guys.

And I should probably explain my somewhat conflicted feelings about Qui-Gon: while I do NOT hate him, even admire him for the flashes of rugged individualism and his stubborn resolve, I DO hate what he did to Obi-Wan in the infamous scene in the Council chambers. His contention that Obi-Wan was 'ready' was a direct contradiction to everything he had said or done prior to that - and my personal pet name for him is "Master Insensitive Lout" - which I think he earned. But I do not believe he acted out of malice or even a sense of greed to be the Master of the Chosen One; I think he was influenced by the wounds of his past - and I think his own human weakness - pride - made him unable to own up to the damage he had done to the young man who had devoted his life to him.

For, as anyone who reads my work knows, Obi-Wan is my own choice for the classic, tragic hero, a victim of Fate, reaping punishments he never earned - and is there a more perfect definition of the tragic hero than that?

Anyway - I hope to write 'around' JW's narrative - to preserve the flow of the stories, such as it was - but to embroider the details - to enrich it and make it breathe, rather thanleave it the flat, dead, droning, onerous deadly boredom that it is.

All of that, of course, will occur elsewhere - if you wish to follow along.

Arrogant? Moi? Surely you jest!!!!

CYN

 

"Arrogant"? Nyet! I think that's a word used to bash people who are conscious of their abilities. Imho any accusations of "arrogance" should be taken as badges of honor.

An author doesn't have to have Charles Dickens' vocabulary in order to convey complex ideas and emotions. Look at Hemmingway...or Falkner...or London. Um, even the ooold Hardy Boy mysteries could hold one's interest for a time.

Children can understand more than many authors give them credit for. Watch the younguns around the family get-togethers. *They* will notice the nuances that some adults will miss. Remember all those highly inconvenient questions they ask afterwards?

Life isn't always black-and-white, and I think the authors do our kids a disservice by representing it as such.

I'm sorry to see you go, but I'm psyched you're going to continue writing. I'll be looking for you over there.

 

Your response, CYNICAL21, more or less sums up why I like Qui-Gon Jinn ? he?s one of those characters that provoke qualified, rather than unequivocal reactions from people. Obi-Wan I can see as a classic tragic hero, but that makes him a bit too predictable in some ways as an archetypal character.

Arrogant? I think ?self-confident? would be more accurate.

 

Oh, wow! I love your Valorum. hee hee He kicks some serious butt! This is another great post. And although I don't think it's arrogance on Qui-gon's part, I still believe that he's a stupid, selfish, cold-hearted (for now) git. And he deserves to get what those in this post have dished out to him. Too bad he's too stuck in his ways to realize what they are trying to do.

I'll be sure to look for your fics on FF.net in the future.

 

I'm sorry to see you go, CYN. We don't always agree but I believe that you have a superb talent (one of the best on the boards) and you will be much missed.
I've been lurking on your stories for some time. I never said anything because, while your words and stories evoke incredible imagery, intricate plots and fleshed-out OCs, they also made me absolutely furious at times! Saying something would not have changed your mind or opinion nor would it have done anything but upset your readers so I said nothing.

I wouldn't have said anything even now- disagreement with you can be... instructive!!! but you did say one thing that I would like to have you think about further. You said but I'll depend on you guys to let me know if you think I miss the mark.. I don't think so. People who think you missed the mark are more likely to say nothing or, if they are very brave like Musings, would have said something gentle. You and I are both old enough to understand this. And I am old enough to realize that I'm being foolish and stupid to say anything at all. So be it.

I really wish the very best for you over on ff.n. I'm sure that you will do extremely well. Your talent wouldn't allow anything else. Good luck.

 

Dianethx - Believe it or not, I actually DO appreciate it when someone speaks up to disagree - although the tone one uses determines whether or not I respond in kind - or just shoot from the hip. But I've never found your comments - or your work - to be offensive in any way, though there are times when I disagree with your viewpoint. That, as they say, is what makes a horse race, and how dreadfully boring it would be if everyone agreed with everyone else. In character analysis, or philosophical interpretations, I welcome diverse opinions, which provide the opportunity to defend my own position, or ask others to defend theirs - and therein lies enlightenment. I need not agree with you to be able to appreciate your viewpoint, and I firmly believe that the best, most enjoyable debates occur between opponents who respect each other.

And if I really have made you 'absolutely furious' - that means I've touched something inside you, for good or bad - and that's really all any writer should aspire to - to make the reader feel something, to evoke an emotional response. So I thank you for speaking up and saying so.

The only comments guaranteed to get my Irish up and spinning, are those which attempt to censor my viewpoint - or yours. I don't react well to those who try to control what I - or you - or anyone else - write, and I suspect you'd agree with me there.

And, as far as commentary about the quality of my writing, just call me 'Ducky', cause I'm long past the age of being thin-skinned about that; snarky criticism just rolls right off. If I didn't believe I was a capable writer, I'd have stopped a long time ago.

But, in the end, I am sometimes forced to point out that - AHEM - this is a fictional universe we are debating - characters who never were, in a setting that never was - an allegory for many things, but never reality. I occasionally wish that we saw such passion and commitment expended on issues that exist in the real world - but, maybe, in the long run, the beliefs formed here do extend outward, as ripples that effect the society we live in.

I thank you for your kind words, and want to tell you that I have read some of your work - and look forward to reading more of it when time and life allow it. This has not been a good year for me, and time seems to grow shorter every day - and I seem to have lost the capacity to participate in friendly banter and speculation - but maybe it will come back to me in time.

Meanwhile, to all of you - my best wishes and my thanks.

CYN

 

CYN - I thank you for your reasoned and thoughtful response. I was hesitant to say anything - I've gotten burned a few times on these boards since nuance and visual cues are missing in the written word and what is printed can be easily misinterpreted. I agree that discussion, even gentle disagreement, can be most enlightening. I will keep it in mind in future.

As to the passions displayed in our fictional world, they are certainly easier to deal with than the real one. And we can make everything turn out well with the simple turn of phrase. However, like your login name, I am very cynical about the world and its ability to rise above pettiness and horror. In many ways, I, too, hope that the stories the authors generate here will help with the world at large. But it is a small one at best.

Thank you for your kind comments about my work and I completely understand about time and the shortness of days. I would have liked to read a lot more and respond to everything I've read but there never seems to be enough time. And I realize that you've had some RL issues, especially this year, that made it difficult to respond with banter or simple comments to any of the stories you've read on these boards. I can only hope that the next year will be better for you than the last. I have had tragedy in my life this year as well and am still getting over the pain of it. I know that you will be strong for your loved ones when they need you the most.

I truly hope that you will do well on ff.n. Good luck.

 

Ahoy there, Mateys. Ahh - don't mind me; just finished watching Pirates with my grandson, and we're both enjoying our afternoon enormously.

Anyway - this is just a head's up - which I will post occasionally - to announce that there's a (relatively) new post up on Song on ff.n, if anyone is interested.

I suspect that I'll soon just allow everything to sink into oblivion - but I'm responding, for the moment, to requests to keep you guys up to snuff when I post.

So there it is. I am still preparing my 'farewell' message for these Boards. As always, there's too much to do, and not enough time to do it, so it may take a while - but I should probably warn you. It will almost certainly bear a warning label: Here Be Dragons, perhaps.

Later.

CYN