Further Exploits Of The Lucasfilm Empire

BIG NEWS!

Well MEDIUM_SIZED NEWS, at any rate.

The Raider.net reports new Indy figures are in the works.

---

new Indiana Jones action figures are in the works with his studio in charge of the packaging. These will be Disney Theme Park only exclusives, similar to the assortment released a few years ago. This set is scheduled to include Indy, Marion, and 3 villains.
[hr][/blockquote]

Should provide some more fodder for his thread, too. :D

The catch is that they're based around the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, and only available from the Happiest Place on Earth. :(

 

And here we have it:

[image=http://www.breathe.co.nz/ijface.jpg]

[image=http://images.google.nl/images?q=tbn:sxHFH7l4gVUC:www.toymania.com/334archives/indy2/indy.jpg]

That it was going to be a monstrosity -- that we knew. That Indiana Jones wouldn't look like Indiana Jones was a given. But that he wouldn't even resemble an Indiana Jones that didn't resemble Indiana Jones, that's a surprise.

Previously, action figures could be split into two groups:

• 1. Those that resemble their models.



• 2. Those that don't resemble their models.

And now, obviously, a third group has come into existence:

• 3. Those that don't resemble the figures that don't resemble their models.

Examples. The Indiana Jones we see in this picture, is category 1:

[image=http://www.toys-mccoy.com/figure/indiana/img/image03.jpg]

Despite the fact he looks a little constipated, we can identify his face as that of Harrison Ford. If you saw someone like that walking across the street, you'd think, "Hey, that guy might look a little constipated, but his face does resemble that of Harrison Ford."

The Indiana Jones figures I discussed in my first post, are category 2. Then, this:

[image=http://www.johns-toys-store.com/store/images/IJFIG1T.JPG]

The Indiana Jones from the Walt? Disney? Theme? Park? line. He's category 4.

Huh, 4?

Yes: action figures that don't resemble action figures that don't resemble action figures that don't resemble their models. He's so incredibly not Harrison Ford, that I demand, for the good of the world, this face to be CGI-ed into all Indiana Jones films. Or they should at least cast an actor for the fourth film that does resemble all the misshapes; there must be someone. If Mohammed won't come to the mountain, the mountain will just have to come to Mohammed.

[image=http://images.google.nl/images?q=tbn:HVQzREDmbfIC:www.toymania.com/news/images/ijshoulder.jpg]

Nice job on the jacket. That's one hell of a good replica of Indiana Jones's fine leather jacket. But who wears it? Who is that El Salvador correspondent from the 1980s?

Apparently, it doesn't matter if it looks like Jones or not. According to its toy production company, they are mainly targeting park visitors' "impulse purchasing". Impulse purchasing!

Customer A: Well, that was one spectacular theme? park? attraction?!?

Customer B: Indeed it was! Hey look, you can buy figures that remotely have to do with our experience.

Customer A [grabs figure and purchases it]: Ungh!

Customer B: Oh no, what have you done!

Customer A: I-I don't know! I couldn't help myself, and now I regret ever buying it!

Customer B: Too late!

According to a site in the know:

"However a strong response to the figures could trigger more characters and accessories."

So be careful! A strong response like mine, could possibly just aggravate the situation. I should have known. Sometimes, trying to make things better, you end up making them a 1,000 times worse.

I always have to end writings like these rather hastily anyway when seeing the toy package read: for ages over 3.

Eh, right!

See ya!

 

"However a strong response to the figures could trigger more characters and accessories."

Watch out when marketing sounds like the response of the immune system to foreign antibodies! Perhaps there'll be a Mola Ram with added allergens:

[image=http://www.theraider.net/films/todoom/gallery/screens/t43_tn.jpg]
"Fools! Your impulse buying has brought me to plastic life, and now I will hurl flaming pet dander at you! You will now have a strong response that will trigger the purchase of histamine-blocker Short Round!"

I haven't gotten out enough lately.
Every moment of existence seems like some dirty trick.

 

OK, your challenge is to find an actor who looks like this;

[image=http://www.breathe.co.nz/ijface.jpg]

Chances are he'll be the next to portray Indy in the ongoing franchise. You heard it here first.

My pick;

[image=http://movieweb.com/movie/somemary/coa.jpg]
Chris Elliot.

 

Ahhh! Put that thing away!

 

LOL. You're taking the lead there, JP. It does look like that guy from Get A Life.

[image=http://www.mdhitech.org/Bioforum2002/Eric%20Roberts%20Lehman.jpg]

Not an actor, but his name is "Eric Roberts", so he at least shares his name with -- oh no wait, that guy's not an actor of course. Just a prop.

Every moment of existence seems like some dirty trick.

From the top off my head: Sugar Baby?

 

Every moment of existence seems like some dirty trick.

From the top off my head: Sugar Baby?

Yup. The line about making things a thousand times worse did it. When I get tired, I get allusive.

 

Heh, good one then -- that "1,000 times worse" line was Dylan, I just used it without actively thinking of the song. It's one of those lines that stays with you.

 

When Kenner confuses films...


[image=http://www.bergen-filmklubb.no/images/Dystopi_THX_1138.jpg] THX-1138.

[image=http://www.toysrgus.com/images-toys/12inch/12in-st-catalog.jpg] The Empire Strikes Back.

 

You can't blame Kenner entirely, while stills like this come out of LFL.

[image=http://www.nenya.net/select/images/0033.jpg]

 

We have talked about Indiana Jones toys, Willow toys, and Howard The Duck disasters. Let's take a look, today, at some obscure, unexpected Lucasfilm toys.

You'd be surprised how many American Graffiti die-cast cars have been made. This one is by Revell:

[image=http://www.hansen.net.nz/casper/RevellChevAmericanGraffiti.jpg]

Bob Falfa's '55 Chevy Street Machine. Complete with Bob Falfa figure. The nice thing is that Bob Falfa was played by Harrison Ford. So three of his roles have spawned action figures: Han Solo, Bob Falfa, and -- oh no, my bad. Indiana Jones wasn't modelled after Harrison Ford, but Harold Ford, his ill-bred cousin.

[image=http://www.sportcraftcars.com/carrera/imported/25466car.jpg]

There he is again, Bob Falfa. His car has been souped up a bit. But can it make the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs? If so, it's the Millennium Falfa.

Hmyes.

[image=http://www.hansen.net.nz/casper/RevellFordAmericanGraffiti.jpg]

John Milner's '32 Ford Deuce Coupe. Milner, of course, was played by Paul Le Mat. Come on, Paul Le Mat. Paul Le Mat? He played the sheriff in Deuce Coupe, 1992? No? OK, in 1998, he played "Himself" in George Lucas... Cruisin' Modesto. He won a Golden Globe for that, remember? They said "Himself" was one of the most sad, pitiful characters ever portrayed. That Paul Le Mat.

[image=http://www.cellinifinegifts.com/fmimages2/fm_americangraffitib.jpg]

This version of his car has "THX-1138" as its license plate, and you've got to admit, and here comes the first ever positive comment from yours truly in the history of this thread and Debo's Star Wars Memories Spectacular: that's a nice touch. Not super or great, but nice. Almost as nice as the THX-1138 as license plate number in Maniac Mansion:

[image=http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/5131/thx1138maniacmansioncw2.gif]

[image=http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/4162/1958impalasm3.jpg] [image=http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/2531/1955chevyhw1.jpg] [image=http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/7503/1957chevyka9.jpg] [image=http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/2683/1962chevycorvettecf8.jpg]

There you have them: '58 Impala, the '55 Chevy, the '57 Chevy, the '62 Chevy Corvette. Told you a lot of those things have been made (and this is not all). They all have Mels Drive-In on the package, you might remember it from one of the Episode II selects.

All in all, quite nice.

I visited EuroDisney, near Paris, in 1993. Naturally, the things I looked forward to the most were Star Tours and Captain EO. I remember, then, being disappointed there weren't any cool Star Tours toys to buy -- just a lousy key chain, that I still have. But look!

[image=http://www.rebelscum.com/potj/potj-g24t_front-m.jpg] [image=http://www.rebelscum.com/potj/potj-rex_front2-m.jpg]

They were there after all. And they look pretty cool. I well remember the voice of the droid that steered the ship; loud and metal-like. It was all quite exciting. It was, back then, the closest thing to a Star Wars sequel. I don't think any Captain EO toys were made, but for the fans, there's this:

[image=http://216.97.102.200/classics/jackson_red.jpg]

[image=http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/2231/jacksondollgp7.jpg]

His face is made of putty, so you can mould it after the latest nose, chin, and eye changes. And hair. And cheekbones. And lips. Apparently, the doll comes with authentic suing papers, so you can have it sue your other toys for all kinds of things. You are advised to keep it in a separate place from baby boy dolls, and lego, as "Michael" is known to mess a bit with little guys.

See ya!

 

Well, I laughed.

Still, there's something very disturbing about the idea of any small children actually playing with "Michael" action figures. I wish they would just be outlawed.

 

What, small children?

 

On some days.

But no, the figures of course. Or better yet, anything bearing Michael Jackson's name or image. Except "Off the Wall", that can stay.

 

DONNIE WAHLBERG TO TAKE ROLE OF INDIANA JONES

Former New Kids On The Block singer Donnie Wahlberg is set to tackle the role of famed archeologer Indiana Jones in a forthcoming installment of the series. The 90s icon, 33, refused to comment, but pictures of new Indiana Jones toys confirm our story.

[image=http://www.figures.com/databases/news/actionfigures/6/1114.jpg]

[image=http://members.aol.com/SuperQT39/blkwht10.jpg]

Broad-hipped Marion will be played by a disgruntled transvestite, whose name has yet to be revealed.

This story has been compiled by DeboFilm staff.

 

@ Debo
@ those figures

 

Man, has anyone ever made a decent-looking Indy action figure? (not talking about any little statues or that sort of thing) I wouldn't mind having one.

 

Looks like you'll have to make one yourself;

[image=http://www.realamericanhero.com/indy/1.jpg]
#1

[image=http://www.actionfigurefactory.com/images/indypm1.jpg]
#2

[image=http://www.actionfigurefactory.com/images/surfyjones.jpg]
#3

 

[image=http://www.jedinet.com/multimedia/gallery/Original_Trilogy/Characters/Luke_Skywalker/tn_luke_162.jpg]

NOOOOOOOoooooo!

 

Actually, I remember Genghis saying a while back that he got a little stuffed Hooter. That sounds kind of wrong...

 

Those red X-es... The curse of every thread. I'll have those fixed.

 

...And thanks to AmazingB for repairing the broken images. Now the thread's a bit more readable again.

 

And now it's up so people can read it again!