Amph G.I. Joe Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Community' started by slimybug, Jul 9, 2009.

  1. slimybug Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2001
    star 5
    Whatever threads there might have been on this seem to have completely vanished, so let's start fresh, eh?

    Okay, so little less than month to go now, and I gotta say, I can't wait to see it so I can go full-force lambasting on the internet. It's funny because I have this friend that's much older than me that's a fan of Transformers, and a mega-mega-mega-fan of G.I. Joe. When I was *****ing about the Transforemrs designs in the first movie, he was like "Dude, it's just a movie, it's fine, don't worry about it." Shortly later, the first official character pictures from G.I. Joe came out, and ever since then, I've felt like saying the same to him. But I think if I did, he might break my legs. This guy liked both Transformers films, and now I have to keep him from getting on a plane and slaughtering Lorenzo DiBonaventura.

    Aside from some heavenly casting (Rachel Nichols as Scarlett, Ray Park as Snake Eyes, Dennis Quaid as Hawk, Christopher Eccleston as Destro, Sienna Miller as Baroness, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander), the movie also has incredibly tastless, cringe-worthy, spew-inducing casting (Channing Tatum as Duke, Marlon Wayans as Ripcord), and some incredibly idiotic plot devices (List two emotional sub-plots that one might try to shove into a G.I. Joe movie where they don't belong: 1) Cobra Commander is Duke's best friend who was badly scarred and turned to the dark side. Okay, that's one subplot you could force into a single Joe movie. 2) Baroness is Duke's ex-fiance who he jilted at the altar and then she turned to the dark side. Okay, that's another, entirely separate emotional subplot you could force into another, entirely separate Joe movie. Oh, wait. They're both in there at the same time? Man, that Duke just ahs a bad history of friends, doesn't he?

    And of course, there's always the HALO suits. I mean really, who can keep a straight face when looking at that. One simply has to picture the producer's meeting that was decided in. "Hey, man, we need to market this to kids! What do kids like? Well, they like HALO. Excellent! We'll put HALO in the movie. They'll be watching their G.I. Joe movie, then suddenly, BLAM! Master Chief walks into the room, and the kids are like "Whoah! It's Master Chief! This movie's a double whammy!" [face_laugh] I honestly can't help but think of the infamous Jon Peters/Superman story that Kevin Smith told. The big difference being that movie never got made, and this is something of the same caliber that, unimaginably, unfathomably, actually saw the light of day. At this pace, I might not be surprised if we actually do get a Superman movie with no suit, no flying, a giant spider, fighting polar bears, and a gay, black robot, after all.

    It's funny because if you would have asked me who would be ideal for directing a G.I. Joe movie, Stephen Sommers would have been an ideal choice. True, I've never seen Van Helsing because it looks downright horrible, but the Mummy movies still rank as two of my all-time favorites. Flicks just don't get as fun, adventurous, and feel-good-entertaining as them. Such a shame Sommers couldn't bring the same kind of quality to Joe.

    Slimy!
  2. Import_Jedi Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2001
    star 6
    Well all I can say is, forget the old Transformers theme. If the new G.I. Joe movie doesn't open with an intro like this, I'll be extremely disappointed:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN034sBeF4c

    [face_not_talking]
  3. JoinTheSchwarz Comms Admin & Community Manager

    Administrator
    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 8
    This movie really looks terrible. It doesn't even have a good trailer (the saving grace of some summer blockbusters I'm not going to name).
  4. Aytee-Aytee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2008
    star 5
  5. DarthLassic007 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2002
    star 6
    The Rise of Cobra > Transformers 1


    (ROTF would have been too easy)
  6. JediOverlord Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2000
    star 5
    They should've had the female Joes appear in the movie dressed like this:

    [image=http://www.the-isb.com/images/GIJoeCheer.jpg]
  7. hudzu Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2003
    star 6
    no overlord, this isnt a michael bay film.
  8. EmpireForever Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2004
    star 8
  9. JediOverlord Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2000
    star 5
    In a way, he's the one that should be making a G.I. Joe movie, given the love and attention he gave to the military in the Transformers films,
  10. DarthLowBudget Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2004
    star 5
    This movie is going to be baaaaaaad. Apparently several executives at Paramount have already been fired over it.

    Oh, and the Superman script Kevin Smith wrote with one arm tied behind his back by John Peters actually managed to be pretty good (as was JJ Abrams script, for the most part).
  11. Jedi_Johnson Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    The G.I. Joe movie is going to rape my childhood. :_|
  12. Import_Jedi Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2001
    star 6
  13. zacparis VIP

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2003
    star 7
    I felt embarassed when I saw the GI Joe trailer in the cinema, I don't even know why, it's not like I even care about the cartoon anymore.
  14. canadianjedimama Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2008
    star 4
    I had absolutely no freakin' idea which movie this was the trailer for until I saw the girl with red hair... :(

    And honestly... WTH is romantic sub-plot doing in G.I. Joe?!?

  15. Jedi_Johnson Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    I feel your pain. The G.I. Joe trailer before Transformers got booed when I saw it. I of course laughed. When Michael Bay movie fans boo your movie you have trouble.
  16. Import_Jedi Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2001
    star 6
    Because of the embarrassingly bad special effects? And Marlon Wayans' awesome acting when he asks, "What's it accelerate?"
  17. usmc20032002 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2008
    I think the special effects look pretty cool. It may not be the best rendition of what we want but you also have to remember that the cartoon is how many years old. GO JOE!!
  18. ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2004
    star 8
    All of you know that you will go and see it, so shut up until you have a reason to hate it. Trailers work both ways, on appeal. Sometimes they make the movie look awesome and it ends up sucking, other times, it looks crappy and ends up kicking ass.
  19. slimybug Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2001
    star 5
    How did I not guess that the first conflicting comment would be from ASG?

    :oops: [image=http://www.loungelightmedia.com/images/smilies/worf.gif]

    Slimy!
  20. EmpireForever Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 15, 2004
    star 8
    Probably the same way I knew without even reading the thread that you, before you've even seen it, hate it already. You know, the same way I know you'll see it anyway, only to complain even more when you get back from it.
  21. zacparis VIP

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2003
    star 7
    I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing it. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to movies these days, it was an effort just to drag my arse out to see Terminator.
  22. JediOverlord Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2000
    star 5
    When we went to see Star Trek and they played the G.I. Joe trailer in front of it, my brother (who really loved G.I. Joe growing up) didn't know it was supposed to be for G.I. Joe until Dennis Quaid was referred to as General Hawk.

    I don't know what that says about this movie, but it probably isn't good....
  23. Import_Jedi Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 20, 2001
    star 6
    Don't worry Juli, I'll be watching it. For free. :cool:

    *Opens desk drawer to gaze at the silver AMC passes tucked nicely inside it*
  24. FamousAmos VIP

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 6
    I probably won't see this, but that's because I rarely go to the movie theater anyway and the trailer does look bad. Still, judging a movie before you've seen it is just setting yourself up to look stupid.


    :p
  25. zacparis VIP

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2003
    star 7
    There's nothing wrong with not liking the trailer. They're designed to advertise a movie after all, and upon seeing it I know it's a movie I don't want to see, so it's done its job in a way.

    But then again, I wanted to see Angels and Demons but never actually got around to it. :p