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Before - Legends "Gah!" - (Qui/Obi, AU) - *Snippet 3, 29/05/06*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Princess_Arulmozhi, Sep 21, 2005.

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  1. River_Stone

    River_Stone Jedi Youngling star 1

    May 7, 2005
    That was so cute!

    Oh, I loved everything about it; how you've woven Obi-Wan's difficulties with linguistics into the story itself, how Qui-Gon is already so attached to this "devious little imp" that he will agree to train him and yet his paranoia about his eligibilty to do so remains. This was just adorable.

    I'm on such a happy little cloud right now. [face_love]

    May plot bunnies forever shower you with gifts. And cakes. :D
  2. corellian-jedi

    corellian-jedi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 4, 2005
    Like the others said: "mush moe!"

    Your talent never ceases to amaze me.


    I wuv your wittle Obi!

    (Pssst! Does Qui know what he's just gotten himself into? :eek:)
  3. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 7, 2005
    [face_laugh] Oh I don't think Qui knows quite what he's getting into, with a 3-year old Padawan. :p I loved Obi's talk, and Qui listening to the Force even with his reservations. That was soooo cute!! [face_love]
  4. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    With [:D] to Noi, May, LE and Diane, who reassured me when I needed it.

    And lots of [face_love] to my padawan and Layren for their valuable insights.

    dianethx: No, Qui doesn't know what he's getting into. But then, he's the maverick, after all. [face_whistling] Thanks, m'lady.

    VaderLVR64: And there speaks the parent. :D Thanks, Vadey! [:D]

    Jennifer_Lyn: Lol about the mush. I'm glad you liked it too. :D Thanks.

    Knight_DLockens: I expect Qui is prepared to get his life turned upside down with a 3 year old running loose. :) Thanks.

    Bastet: Am so glad you enjoyed it. I love Li'l Obi stories too. Pity there aren't much around. Thanks! :)

    Star_Drifter: Whoa. That was one lovely review. :D Thank you.

    [blockquote]But, I personally know another young one who, before the age of two, was saying with complete clarity words like: jacket, sausage, pickle, cheese, cracker, and my favorite, "delicious". It seems a certain mother liked to talk to her young one, and simply took the time to tell her the names of the things around her, and in the books they liked to read together. By the time this young one was three, she possessed an incredible vocabulary, and was talking in long complicated paragraphs! And, this young one has become an incredible writer at a very early age! Hmmmmm.. Wonder who this young one might be?[/blockquote]

    <is very puzzled> I'm kinda wondering who this wonderkid might be, myself. Care to share? :)

    Katieelessar: Gah indeed, as you say. Thanks!

    maychorian: Lol, thanks, May. 'Gah' works. Yes, indeedy, it do.[face_mischief]

    Kynstar: Obi is always adorable. :D Thanks, Kyn!

    LuvEwan: You can't imagine how much I appreciate your comments. Thanks, girl. [:D]

    [blockquote]Obi Wan is so lovely![/blockquote]
    Isn't he? :D
    Thanks for reading!

    Layren: Thanks, dear. So glad you liked it.[face_love]

    stormqueen874: Lol, thanks so much. :)
    [blockquote](I want one to hug and squeeze to my heart's content! [/blockquote]

    Just as long as you don't hug him to death. :D

    Gkilkenny: I'm glad I made you laugh. :D Thanks!

    Musing: tha many nuances of 'Gah', indeed.
    [blockquote]Wonder if that would be enough of an explanation for the Council as to how Qui-Gon ended up with a three-year-old apprentice?[/blockquote]

    And blast that bunny...or maybe I won't. :D

    JOINME: Its amazing what one word can lead to. :D Thanks so much. I enjoyed writing the mush. [face_love]

    JadeSolo: Apparently 3 year olds are more coherent - but my Obi's just turned 3, so...:D And I'm glad you caught the 'Noss kutting off'. Something a 3 year old might think of, I thought. Thanks, Jade!

    Healer_Leona: Don't want much do you? I'll see what I can do... [face_batting]
    Thanks, dear. Means much to me. :)

    LuvEwan: 'What Leona said', she says. It's a conspiracy, I tell you...and the weird thing is, I want to get caught in its net. <shakes head.>

    PadawanKitara: maybe you'll have more mush. Thanks, PK! :D

    TheLurker: Thanks. :)

    My padawan: Thank you, dear one. I'm so glad you liked it. Your reviews make my day. [:D]

    [blockquote]"I Gah Mush Moe." [/blockquote]


    River_Stone: <is suddenly flooded with luscious cakes and more bunnies than ever> that lock company of yours is still working, I see.

    Loved your review, dear one. You caught Qui-Gon's little mind voice working overtime too. Thanks a bunch. [:D] You're free to float on your cloud as long as you want. :D

    corellian-jedi: I think Qui guesses somewhat, but is rather optimistic. That'll change, of course. :D

    Pst. I wuv wittle li'l Obi too.

    Jedi_Tigris: Thanks so much. I'm hoping to expand on it, just a little. We'll see. :)

    A little bunny hops about... [face_whistling]
  5. Musing

    Musing Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 31, 2003
    I felt in dire need of something cute to start off the I upped this. Seemed appropriate for some reason. :D
  6. Star_Drifter

    Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 18, 2005
    PA wrote: <is very puzzled> I'm kinda wondering who this wonderkid might be, myself. Care to share?

    Of course, PA! If you look at my signature, you will see that I am Darth Mom, and Master to Ani-maniac! She is my daughter, Tiffany, the one with the incredible vocabulary!

    She writes on the Saga Forum, and if you look at her bio, you will find links to all of her work. She has written several wonderful vignettes, one about Shmi, and a great Dooku vignette that many say has really helped them understand Dooku better. And, she wrote, in my humble opinion, one of the best AU's of ROTS, called "Slipping Into Darkness." Her readers wanted a sequel, and she has begun to write, "Falling From the Light."

    She has a deep grasp of character, and wants to work in the film industry as an actress/writer/director.

    I think that she is an incredible person, and it is my priviledge to say that I am not the only one! She is listed in the 39th Edition of, "Who's Who Among American High School Students."

    I give the Lord all of the credit for answering my prayers that I "would be a good Mom to her, and be able to teach her the things that she needs to know."

    She would be in college now if it hadn't been for some health problems, so she will be entering this Fall. She is going to major in "Human Communication," and minor in "Creative Writing." Being on the Boards is a terrific way to grow as a writer, don't you think? ;)

    I guess that I sound like a Mom bragging about my daughter, don't I? :rolleyes:

    But, she honestly had to explain what she was saying to the other kids in kindergarten!

    And your fic, with the little one stumbling over words, prompted me to say that not every child has that much trouble! ;)

    Thanks for asking, PA! [:D]


  7. LilyHobbitJedi

    LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight star 5

    Aug 29, 2005
    That was so incredibly adorable. I love little Obi-Wan! The way he spoke to Qui was so cute, great job! =D= =D=
  8. -Courtney-

    -Courtney- Jedi Knight star 5

    Oct 8, 2005
    That was so funny & adorable, baby Obi is so cute!
  9. Lurkalidth

    Lurkalidth Jedi Youngling star 2

    Feb 5, 2003
    Very nice work! If you'd like to share more snippets, I'd sure look forward to them.
  10. Garen_Muln

    Garen_Muln Jedi Youngling

    Dec 8, 2005
    i love this story, its so cute [face_love] lil obi is so adorable :) i cant get enough of lil obi :D (+ a lil garen but
    there aren´t many stories about those two)
  11. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    Might I say again how adorable this is? I'm sick again and was desperately in need of mush -- I found this vig back at the top and got my mush fix :D Little obi so adorable! Gah!
  12. AnakinGirl05

    AnakinGirl05 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 1, 2005
    I am so glad somebody upped this!! How adorable little Obi is!!

    Oh, and I have a three year old speaking in complex paragraphs already too...the boy wears me out!! But there are plenty of threes who talk like lil Obi does...besides, it makes it that much cuter!! [:D]
  13. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    Oops. Double post.
  14. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    Right. I'm now mad, because I'm continuing with another Snippet. Well, part of it. :D

    Thanks for all the replies. I'd no idea so many would like it. As for Obi-Wan's seemingly slow speech...I'm building up a background. :)

    Note: Kyran Josel belongs to Layren. Thanks, dear ;) You know why I put him in.


    Snippet 2 - Part 1

    Really. It was all quite ridiculous.

    The idea of taking a padawan two or three standard years of age?the idea of taking a padawan at all.

    What was I thinking, he wondered, as he looked out at the sky-lanes of Coruscant, taking in crafts of all sizes skimming through the airways. The evening sun?controlled, as always, and illuminating, without causing privileged Coruscanti citizens to suffer from its glaring effects?touched the edges of small transparisteel embrasures in his craft, as it slowly made its way down the traffic lanes that led to the docking bays of the Jedi Temple.


    He could not deny that he had once thought of Coruscant with abhorrence?that it still sometimes, felt that way, when odd memories of his former padawan struck.

    The ideal Jedi ought not to feel any attachment to anything?and that included not just people, but also places. All Jedi knights might have spent years at the Temple?both at Coruscant, and the many other, smaller Temples that were sprinkled all over the Core?s most important planets, but most Jedi still thought of the Temple on Coruscant, whenever they mentioned the word ?home?. The significance of it had escaped Qui-Gon, until he had caught himself mentioning the word to one of the delegates at the Annual Celebration of Alleyat?s Independence Day.

    And the day he had first met Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi youngling (for he was too young to even be recognized as a proper Initiate).

    He had been trying to re-acclimatize himself with the Gardens of A?mathie, he remembered. The Gardens were an extension of the A?mathie training salle, itself, and was thought to have a soothing effect on those who had just returned, or were preparing for gruelling missions.

    He was kneeling on the mossy, slightly uneven ground, trying to sink into the murmuring brook that was the Living Force. It was after all, the command of the Force that he had obeyed, when he first decided to come back to the Temple and stay for longer periods, instead of seeking rest and peace on other worlds.

    Why this should be, he did not know. Not yet. The Temple held little for him?old friends long gone, perhaps. Some were gone on missions, while others were?gone.

    His heart clenched when memories of shared experiences floated up?would Kyran be there, at least? Perhaps he would. Perhaps not. Tahl? And Adeln? He had shunned them all a great deal, he knew. Oh, it hadn?t been a conscious decision, even though his conscience still gave him a pin-prick whenever he thought of those whose company he used to relish, once, such a long time ago? these days, he never even intimated them about his arrival, when he did. Unexpected and probing questions might arise, he knew. And he was not sure he could answer them. That, or the Good Words they might insist on him hearing.

    On the one hand, it was not really fair on his part. On the other hand, none of them had ever had a padawan who fell to the Dark Side, in such a spectacular blaze of rage and hatred?thereby condemning his master to a life of intense self-blame and denigration.

    Perhaps they respected his decision, his friends. All were Knights and Masters of excellent standing, and all had been known enough to keep their distance, when necessary.

    Even Kyran and Tahl? asked a small voice in the back of his mind.

    He was forcibly shaking his head and preparing to give up this fruitless meditation, when he heard a slight noise. A scrabbling noise.

    The Gardens of Penance were meant for Senior padawans, Knights and Masters?and none under those rank. The reasons were many, chief among which were that these were an extension of the A?mathie, and therefore a place where Darkness might st
  15. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    Awwwwww not hearing Gah indeed :D :p

    So very happy to see this continued!! =D==D==D==D=
  16. Aya-Na_Bashu

    Aya-Na_Bashu Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 14, 2005
    [face_dancing] WooHoo, more 'Gah' and mush. [face_dancing]

    Wonderful, as always, PA.
  17. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 7, 2005
    Oh, sweet. [face_love] Is Piggwei a little animal? Poor Obi-Wan, trying to rescue his pet and getting hurt in the process. But yay for Qui-Gon getting caught off-guard by a little child!

    I adored it. Keep it up!
  18. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    That was adorable. I loved the flashback - Kenobi certainly knows how to get into trouble, even at that age. I wonder what he was looking for. I guess we'll find out eventually.

    Good job but I want more!!!:D
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Awwww, that's so sweet. I can't help but imagine a fiesty little guinea pig was what little Obi-Wan was after.

    I lke so more please P_A. :D :D
  20. Musing

    Musing Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 31, 2003
    More Gah... Wonderful! [face_dancing]

    Will we get to see the Council's reaction to Qui-Gon's decision to take another padawan? And such a cute lil 'un, too. :D
  21. BrightFeather

    BrightFeather Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 13, 2005
    I'm not sure how I missed this. :D More soon, please?

  22. Fluff-Slayer

    Fluff-Slayer Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 12, 2005
    An animal...or an imaginary friend? :confused:

    Curious, curious.

    Qui-Gon sure wasn't being too friendly in this post. [face_worried] Poor Bee. I certainly wouldn't want to be pinned underneath that glare!

    I swear that I reviewed the first half of this.

    Perhaps the One-eyed One-horned Flying Purple Post-eater infestation is starting up again. Who can say?

    Good writing. Mmmmmmm. Like good soup, only drier. And it doesn't burn your tongue.

  23. Dragonlady

    Dragonlady Jedi Knight star 1

    Jul 1, 2005
    Wonderful, as always, and your usage of the A'mathie made me go and reread Crossroads, which I also love. Qui-Gon really doesn't know what he's gotten into...I have cousins that age, you see, and they run me ragged every time I see them. And I don't even live with them! *grins* I'd love more.

    On a rather random note, I noticed when finding Crossroads that The Long Run isn't in your bio.
  24. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999
    I'm so excited to see more of this, woohoo! [face_dancing]

    Little Obi is as cute as ever. [face_love] :D

    I loved finding out how they first met. Rarely had he seen eyes that reached for his own, broke through his warrior?s defences, and dove down?deep into him. [face_love] Not even Qui can resist Obi's cuteness, it seems. :D

    Oooh, I can't wait for more of this!! [face_batting]
  25. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 24, 2002
    Beautiful and adorable, P_A. [face_love] You write children brilliantly. I just transform to mush when I read this. One of the most appealing and realistic portrayals of Qui-Gon I've ever read. Wonderful, fantastic, amazing...shall I go on? :D
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