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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends Galaxy Noir III: Echoes of Legacy (OC detective story, some Luke)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by The_Face, Apr 23, 2005.

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  1. Mjsullivan

    Mjsullivan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 8, 2003
    And the Noir continues :D

    I really liked this update, and especially the privelleged look into the inner processes of Nirug. Its funny you know, he kind of struck me as a bit of a tragic figure in this update. Without the eye he is mad, with it he is uncontrollably evil and a slave. Nowhere to go. Except explosion-town, population: Iceheart that is.

    I like the sound of his plan ;) I also like this!:

    ?Mr. Diabet. Miss Roserain. Welcome to EcoNet One. You are my prisoners here.?

    Remy raised a finger. ?You know, I am a detective. I think I know when I?ve been captured.?


    Heheh, Oh Remy. You and your wit in the face of certain doom :D

    Just have to agree with Forcefire on this one:

    ?So why not give it to someone and make them throw it in some lava or something?? Remy asked.

    It's brilliant to see the nod there ;) It brought the wryest of wry smiles to my face, heheh.

    And hey!


    Messuni turned to Remy and whispered, ?This is where the bad guy spills his guts to the helpless heroes, right??

    ?Yeah.?

    ?How noir.?


    You and your only three walls, Face :p

    And finally, on to Synth! My buddy! I loved the way he's slipped into the role of ally with Jav - and am really grateful that Jav seems to be able to both (a) ALMOST trust him and (b) exert some form of control over him. His exchange during the firefight:

    ?Perish the thought of me as a temporary fill-in for the Corellian; a greater insult to my intelligence has never existed. I?m not going to banter with you.?

    Was just the icing on the delicious cake that is this update :p

    But whatever will happen now? Jav, Luke and Synth have little time to rescue Messuni and Jav before the whole billions-killed-catastrophe thingo occurs! Will Nirug be successful in blowing up Iceheart? I'm sure Naner's OC would be grateful ;)

    Until the next update!
     
  2. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Ta da! Look, ma, Page 6! :D

    Forcefire: First off, thanks for reading and replying (quickly!)

    Doc Ock is a good comparison. That whole ?I swear, it?s to a noble end?/?I?m being used? thing.

    Synth knows his history like? Well, like he knows everything else. Stinkin? geniuses. [face_frustrated] :p He appreciates the bitter irony of his formalities with the ex-Rebel scum. That?s the principal reason for his stealthily disparaging ?master Jedi? comments.

    What about his background do you want to know? Make a wish and I?ll make an effort to include it in the prequel. He?s there as Jav?s partner on Duro early on, but makes his presence known throughout.

    ?There?s something alive in here? isn?t a big line, but just well known enough to give the right number of people a little grin. I like it. Dagobah is less subtle, but I wanted a swamp and thought ?Why not??

    mjs: Thank you for reading and providing your always-wonderful commentary. :D

    Explosion-town? Sounds like a bizarre disco song. :p Glad Nirug?s moment of clarity worked out. He sort of embodies the idea that evil is just a twisted version of good. If not for the fact that he sacrifices his unwilling followers, prisoners, and half a planet in the process, he would be a hero. Something strikes me as compelling about that.

    And I couldn?t resist the LotR bit. The Ring is the ultimate in deadly items of power, and artifacts, and such.

    You and your only three walls, Face

    I like dioramas! [face_whistling] ;) Besides, they have holo noir ? I precedentized it, just like I did that verb. :p

    I think Iceheart?s death is good for everybody but her. This way of going about it, though, that does not hold so true.

    Now then, only 5 posts left in the story (including this one)! Let?s check this one off. It?s all emotionally resonant and whatnot. ;)

    ******

    Messuni paced around the circular prison, while Remy sat. At least Nirug had been self-confident ? or rather, Eye-confident ? enough to let them keep their equipment. They?d tried every escape they knew and failed at each one. Lasers didn?t affect the door, which blended in with the rest of the room to give the subconscious impression that there was truly no way out. There was no way to open it from the inside and there didn?t seem to be any other break in the durasteel walls that they could fit into. The ventilation duct was small and contracted occasionally to make crawling through it impossible. But, again they reminded each other, at least Nirug had been arrogant enough to let them keep their equipment.

    ?This is my fault!? Messuni declared, kicking where she seemed to remember the door being last. ?I should have seen those cultists??

    ?Messuni,? Remy said as he stood. ?You do so much already. You?re the best shooter I?ve ever seen, you?re? You?re amazing, Messuni. But we?re not perfect. It?s not like you?re Luke and coulda sensed them coming??

    ?You know, Skywalker?s fallible too.?

    ?Don?t shatter my little take on reality, please. Anyway, nobody?s perfect. I should never have gone nuts on Jav and Mister Vendetta like that. The old Jedi Order should have destroyed the Eye instead of hiding it on Etrigan V. But this is what we?ve been dealt and there?s no use handing out blame.?

    ?Does that apply to Jav and Lydon??

    Remy sighed. ?Fine. I?ll forgive them. But we won?t see them until they die, you know.?

    ?Shouldn?t be long; they?ll likely kill each other.?

    They laughed lightly. The laughter slowly gave way to awkward silence. Remy broke it, as was his custom. ?Messuni. I?ve been trying to figure something out recently. There?s been this feeling gnawing at me, and I think I know what it is. But once I identified it, I couldn?t come to grips with it. But I think, since we?re going to be reduced to particles in a few hours, I should go ahead and take the risk. I?? He cleared his throat. ?I?? He stopped again and walked away. He c
     
  3. talkingbanana

    talkingbanana Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Before I get to the mega-review I promised earlier, I need to say something about today's post:

    IT'S ABOUT TIME!!! I've been waiting for that since the beginning!

    ;) Now that that's said -

    Wait, something else - I'm glad you like the Hitchhiker's quote! I actually thought of you and mjs when I heard that, so that's why it went up. ;)

    Review for real now -

    8/12 post

    This part was really cool:

    ?From ash to phoenix,? Nirug whispered.

    ?Mr. Lossk!? a human voice called. Nirug turned to face his enemy, but found that he couldn?t.

    ?Who dares disturb my rebirth?? Nirug asked the darkness.

    ?Please, Mr. Lossk, talk like a real person; I?m trying to have a rational discussion.?


    Nirug was just creepy enough, and Synth just crazy and sarcastic enough. Fantastic, classic GN there - the whole conversation was great. :D

    His realization that the Eye was controlling him instead of the other way around was fantastic as well. Loved this line:

    His prison was an unassuming reflective jewel and no matter how hard he pounded against it, the walls wouldn?t break.

    Very nice imagery there. Oh, and I love how long it took CorSec to simply turn off the power plant in order to solve the problem. :p And yay for 'splosions! Also liked Synth joining the team, and Messuni's reluctant vote to save the galaxy amused me. Great job!

    8/15 post

    Really liked the conversation at the beginning - I knew Synth wasn't all bad! Glad to see that he's smart enough to know a good guy when he sees one.

    ?Are you sure you?re not thinking of a holodrama synopsis?? Remy asked.

    [face_laugh]

    8/20 post

    Enjoyed the banter at the beginning of this.

    And the fight was even better.

    I thought I could somehow get the Eye out of it all? Get it away from that madman.?

    Messuni scoffed at this revelation. ?So you could hand it to a madwoman. Oh, I?m sorry, ?Madame Director.? I always get those two confused.?


    *snickers*

    Ack! Sneak attack! :eek: Liked the bwap, though. ;)

    ?The tracks end,? Synth noted. ?Signs of a scuffle??

    Reminds me of Princess Bride with Prince Humperdinck "tracking" the "kidnappers" and coming up on the place where Westley fought Andre the Giant's character. Love that movie. :)

    Oooh, is Luke actually going to use his lightsaber soon? Yay! :p

    8/24 post

    ?You know, I am a detective. I think I know when I?ve been captured.?

    [face_laugh]

    Oooh, creepy Nirug (and his classic evil bad-guy speech, haha).

    ?A mind is a terrible thing to lose,? he whispered.

    *shivers* Great line.

    Also enjoyed the LOTR allusion. Throw it in the lava, indeed. That was great. :D

    ?I could kill you,? Messuni suggested.

    ?You are quite eager to shoot something, aren?t you?? Nirug noted, bemused.

    "It's one of my most endearing qualities," she replied.


    [face_laugh] Oh, was that the new witty comment? I like it.

    Ooooh, big 'splosion coming up! Hopefully our heroes won't be in it, or maybe it just won't happen . . . [face_worried]

    ?You?re a jerk,? Jav informed Synth.

    ?You say that as if I care what people think,? Synth replied.

    Jav stunned a cultist as he charged toward him. ?You?re misinterpreting fact as opinion, Lydon.?


    Great comeback! [face_laugh] Loved the post.

    mjs- Maybe if Nirug succeeds in blowing up Iceheart, Nameless will stop being stubborn and let me write him. ;)

    today's post

    *SQUEAL!*

    Okay, I'm not usually that much of a girly girl, but as I said at the beginning of this massive review - it's about bloody time! I've been waiting for these two to stop dancing around each other since - well, I think I saw it coming with the whole wedding dress/tux thing at the beginning of the story, actually. Great job on the romantic foreshadowing. ;)

    And I love how silly the whole confession/kiss scene was - that was really perfect and so Remy and Messuni.

    The detective bl
     
  4. Mjsullivan

    Mjsullivan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Okay Face, watch this very closely because I swore I would never, ever do it. Are you watching? Seriously, this is the one and only time. Ever. I need you to be sure now:

    Ready?


    Squee!!!!


    There. I said it. I hope you can sleep at night with that on your conscience :p

    Author's note: I considered leaving the reply to stand on its merits at this point ;) But my better self won out and I will type the coherent, non-fangirlesque comments, heheh. So the obvious point to begin is with Remy and Messuni. Bravo. It's been three GN's in the making, but the intrepid pair are finally together :D As Naner said, excellent foreshadowing to this point ;) Their mutual confession was just great - that Remy is actually a pretty smooth talker once he gets past the initial "I...I...I" stage! I wish them a long and happy time together.

    And now, because it's weird to be wishing fictional characters luck in their new relationship, I'll get on with story content :p


    Synth chose three concise words. ?Get a cell.?

    Luke was merely confused.

    ?It?s Luke Skywalker,? Remy noted excitedly, ?here to rescue us!?


    hah, two funny lines in such close proximity! Great play on the "I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you" line :D I am very much enjoying this group working together, also - Jav, Remy, Messuni, Synth, Skywalker. They ought to be able to sort through whatever ails them :D


    ?Well then,? Jav said. ?It?s time for a little talk with the man, one good guy?? He reloaded his own blaster. ??to another.?


    And that was a cool line from Jav "Jax" Yonx :cool:


    ?The Dark Side has sapped you of all regard for sentient life,? Luke said. ?It doesn?t have to be that way. You can put the Eye down and turn away from th-??

    Tsk tsk tsk. You can tell Luke has no experience in Noir fiction. Thats no way to get things done! What he needs is a nice, big, traditional, selectively-destructive 'SPLOSION. Or failing that, some kind of ironic setup which involves the bad guy proclaiming his invulnerability. That always gets 'em killed ;)

    Looking forward to the battle of Intrepid Heroes v. gunslinging droids. Maybe these droids will prove more of a challenge to the Jedi than those in the PT. i.e, they will be some challenge at all ;)

    Until then, Face!

    P.S - seriously, I'm never saying it again. Ever :p
     
  5. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    ?naner: Thanks for catching up!

    I?m the author, so I?ll try to be the composed one. [face_plain] :p

    Very glad you liked the power plant scene. Nirug?s breakdown/epiphany was one of my favorites, as was Synth?s return in general. I think this has been my best Synth stuff yet. Though the scene in GNII where he was solving cases from three computers at a time was also fun. :D

    I thought you?d appreciate the mad Madame Director bit.

    ?The Princess Bride? is classic! So incredibly quotable. My whole family loves it, so I hear a line from it at least once every three days, probably.

    Luke uses his lightsaber in the very next post. We?ll find out how well I write him in combat (of course, my older fics had saber stuff in them, so I?m not new to it, but I am to Luke?s approach).

    Oooh, creepy Nirug (and his classic evil bad-guy speech, haha).

    Creepy seems to be the top word used to describe him. But that?s good for a Dark Force adept cult leader. And every bad guy gets a monologue. It?s their duty.

    ?It?s one of my most endearing qualities? was indeed the new witty comment. It popped into my head as I was going through and destroying the codes in favor of real italics in my Word document. Glad you like it.

    mjs- Maybe if Nirug succeeds in blowing up Iceheart, Nameless will stop being stubborn and let me write him.

    That?s a very compelling argument for blowing her up. So? very? compelling? End the temptation! [face_crying] Please make it stop?

    I'm not usually that much of a girly girl?

    Then we have something in common. ;)

    I've been waiting for these two to stop dancing around each other since?

    What? I think dancing was a very romantic thing of them to do. :p

    Great job on the romantic foreshadowing.

    Thank you very much. At least they won?t have to rent the outfits if/when they get married ? though Messuni may have gotten her dress dirty in the Bortelles streets.

    The confession, I was just going for realism. Thus stepping on her toe and general awkwardness. Not all are as smooth as Lando, but maybe more sincere. [face_whistling] That?s what I was aiming at, anyway: well-intended and earnest and real.

    And Synth?s comment summarizes my feeling on mush. They all need to just go to prison and get it away from us. :p Kidding, kidding? (Or am I?)

    mjs: :eek:

    I think I?ll sleep fine. ;) Glad you liked it. The first two fics, I was determined not to put anybody in the group together. Too simple, I thought. Too obvious. Let them find people along the way in ? like ? the third one. But before I even started this story, I was forming ideas for the next one, Galaxy Grey. I decided it served the series as a whole better if I put R/M together here, and it will also make that fic much easier on the brain. Yours and mine. :p

    I loved writing the dynamics established among our Semi-Heroic Five. Had great fun throwing an ex-Rebel Jedi celebrity and our favorite genius Imperial investigator into the mix.

    And that was a cool line from Jav "Jax" Yonx

    Jav knows how to end a post. I can?t claim credit for what he does. I just follow along.

    You set that Skywalker boy straight, mjs. He needs a talkin?-to.

    The droids will be challenging enough. After all, we only have one lightsaber among our protagonists, and these are better built sentries. Old Republic stuff, none of that Trade Federation rubbish.

    Thanks for reading and providing your comments.
     
  6. Forcefire

    Forcefire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2000
    Ah, would that Venigom could see this: his two worst enemies making the love connection. I'm happy to see them be happy. And hey, significant other banter is a whole new avenue. Nicely done.

    ?It?s Luke Skywalker,? Remy noted excitedly, ?here to rescue us!?
    That put a big grin on my face.

    And now we make with the action. Loads of fun to be had there, I'm sure.
     
  7. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Forcefire, thanks for reading! Ha, didn?t think of the Hai-soz connection. Very true.

    And hey, significant other banter is a whole new avenue.

    We?ll see how I do. Not much in the remainder of this one, but it?s about over after all. Where would I find room?

    Now then, a day early?

    ******

    The class of battle droids that were programmed to protect EcoNet One was an old one. The four IG-57s were shaped in a very humanoid manner, but their cylindrical heads, with a single red eye on each, created a disturbing image. Another dramatic departure was the extra two legs. They were long black-and-silver crustacean-inspired claws and could swivel up to serve as extra armament without sacrificing mobility. Their simple, outdated purpose of defending EcoNet One?s long-gone scientists drove them mindlessly forward and the new programming that Nirug had added forced them to target the three detectives, Messuni, and Luke.

    ?Yonx, get on that computer and stop the hyperdrive,? suggested Synth as he blasted a droid?s head off. ?If we can keep it in V6-292?s orbit, we won?t have to even worry about the Imperials and whatever poor planet they?re over.?

    Jav nodded and jumped to the terminal that controlled the station?s movements. ?Cover me,? he requested.

    Messuni shot the arms off another droid and Luke used the Force to collapse the metallic cranium of a third. Messuni smiled. ?Consider it??

    The two headless droids halted their backwards stumble and stood straight once more. They aimed the blasters fused to their hands once more. The arm-less IG-57 brought its large claws to bear as replacements for the missing appendages.

    ??done??

    Synth and Luke cursed in unison, though they chose different profanities.

    ?They?ve got redundant systems,? Remy declared, shooting and missing. Upon closer examination, the others could also see the extra ocular devices on their torsos and even targeting computers on each arm that could serve the same purpose.

    This time, Synth and Luke switched words.

    The IG-57s unleashed their full blaster power. Luke, slowly being pushed back, deflected the bolts with his lightsaber, while Messuni and Remy ducked behind a data terminal in the center of the room. Synth dove past them and pulled a chair out to serve as cover. Jav swung under the desk where he?d been working. He peered out from the safe alcove and saw his partner beside him, crouching with Messuni.

    ?So,? Remy asked, ?how?s your job coming??

    ?Not so well.?

    ?Same here.?

    ?Well, at least we?re all in the same doomed boat.?

    ?That analogy is not too amusing right now.?

    ?I?m sorry, but entertaining you was never my goal.?

    ?Our issues are obvious,? said Remy. ?What?s your problem??

    ?The course has been locked into the computer. There?s no canceling it now,? Jav reported.

    ?Have you tried pulling the lever??

    ?That was obviously the first step I attempted. The lever?s jammed ? it?s been what, thirty years without maintenance? ? so no manual work is possible. This facility wasn?t built to fly, anyway. The Republic expected EcoNet to orbit its whole life.?

    ?My question was a joke.?

    ?No wonder I didn?t understand it.?

    Luke, moving backwards to keep up his bolt-parrying defense, passed their hiding places and rolled to one of his one.

    Remy turned his head 180 degrees to regard Messuni. ?Now what?? he inquired.

    ?We jump out and shoot their weapons off.?

    ?Do you know what you?re asking of me??

    ?Nothing you can?t do, action hero.? She kissed him.

    ?Well, since you put it that way??

    She smiled. They quickly kissed once more, and simultaneously came to their feet. Messuni took the arms off of one headless droid, a limb to each of her heavy blasters. Her aim quickly switched over to the next decapitated automaton and she did the same to it. She saw a dangerous red line flying toward Remy, and yanked him to the floor. When she looked back up, both newly-wounded sentries raised their claws and resumed their assault. Messuni couldn?t get down in t
     
  8. amidalachick

    amidalachick FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    So this is what happens when I try to catch up on my own writing. I miss the most awesome posts in Galaxy Noir history!!!

    :eek: [face_love] [face_worried] [face_laugh] =D=

    Remy and Messuni!!! That was a nice surprise! I've been wondering about them, but to have them actually admit it...yeah. I'm so happy for them! :D I adored the way they admitted their feelings. And their first kiss...

    ?Remy?? Messuni finally said.

    ?Yeah?? he answered.

    ?You?re standing on my foot.?


    That's the best romance scene I've ever read, anywhere. [face_love] :D

    And all the bickering and bantering between...well, everyone. It's great. I love seeing Luke trying to deal with the gang. [face_laugh] And, of course, the action is so wonderfully written.

    So yeah, excellent work as always, and I can't wait until Sunday! I'm definitely gonna try my hardest to be here! :D
     
  9. Forcefire

    Forcefire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2000
    A nice little action sequence before the big confrontation. Old Republic models

    And this was nice:
    Messuni groaned. ?Force, Remy, do you move this fast on all your first dates??

    ?Only when they?re unconscious,? he joked, though his voice was anything but light.

    ?That?s gross.?

    ?No, this blood is gross, and that?s why I?m going to puke if I don?t get a bacta patch on it soon.?

    I don't know why, but I thought that was... I dunno, cute.

    And Messuni's pretty resilient to be gunning down cultists with that nasty gut wound. Very impressive.
     
  10. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    amidalachick: Hey, great to see you!

    [face_blush] Thank you so much!

    Glad everybody seems to be happy about Remy and Messuni.

    That's the best romance scene I've ever read, anywhere.

    [face_shhh] Don?t tell anyone. Remember, Face hates mush. That?s his story and he?s stickin? to it.

    Thanks again for catching up and posting. :D

    Forcefire: Thanks!

    If there?s one thing the Galaxy Noir stories have proven, it?s that Messuni is a tough cookie. A snickerdoodle of steel, that?s her. :p Remy?s a competent field medic (I should get into why that is some time?), so she should be okay until I throw what I?m about to throw at her in this post. [face_whistling]

    This update is short ? very short ? but the next one is really long by GN standards.

    ******

    Messuni and the detectives followed Nirug?s trail of burned-in footprints as quickly as possible through an ice world, a low-gravity moon, and an arid planet that, as of the Old Republic, was far too close to its dying red sun. In the last chamber, they caught a glimpse of the Dark Jedi?s cloak disappearing into a fourth ecosystem. This one, however, had lost the label on its door to time and automated weather.

    The trio burst into it and immediately came to a halt. Before them was a beautiful landscape of peaceful greenery and small bodies of calm water. It was a sharp contrast to the fatal flames in Nirug?s charred palms, yet both he and their tranquil surroundings carried an underlying feeling of death?s cold touch. Messuni, a woman who had previously declared her hatred of tears, shed two on the spot. A modulated female voice, EcoNet One?s computer, confirmed what they already knew.

    ?Welcome to Alderaan.?

    ******

    Luke incapacitated two men whose minds had been replaced with Nirug?s bidding by the Eye of the Force. Synth shot down another. Some were clothed in black patch-ridden Order of the Ash cloaks, and the rest wore whatever they?d had on when Nirug had used the Eye on them ? often CorSec uniforms.

    The next brainwashed cultist, a Nikto, took a defiant stand against the Jedi and Imperial investigator. Synth scoffed at the foolish bravery and sent three blaster bolts at him. The blasts splashed against a shield in the Force and were swiftly absorbed into the Nikto?s body. The zombie-like Force-user translated the energy into kinetic. His charge was too fast for Synth?s eyes to follow and his punching arm even quicker. Synth was flung across the room until he hit the desk that Messuni and Remy had used as cover against the droids, and collapsed.

    Luke Force-pushed the Nikto back at the doorway, knocking the flood of cultists back. The acolytes strained but Luke kept them at bay. ?Investigator, these men and women are innocent.?

    ?Fantastic for them,? groaned Synth.

    ?They?re fighting their hardest??

    ?I noticed.?

    ??to regain control. The Eye is to blame, not them.?

    ?You?re wasting my time, aren?t you??

    The Order of the Ash pushed as one and Luke began to lose ground. The Nikto pulled himself back into the room, followed by a Corellian woman and a young Zabrak male.

    Luke?s face contorted in effort. ?We have to?? he managed. ?We have to spare their lives.?

    ?I was afraid you were going to say something like that,? muttered Synth. He shot the Nikto in the chest while he was frozen in an attempt to fight Luke?s telekinesis.

    ?They?re not,? Luke continued, ?in control of their bodies. They?re just pawns for Nirug and puppets of the Eye.?

    ?Poetic,? Synth replied. He wounded the CorSec agent. ?But misguided. This station is going to explode. Does that mean anything to you??

    ?I?ll worry about that. You worry about watching your aim.?

    Synth switched his blaster setting to stun and knocked another neophyte unconscious. He was about to take the Zabrak down when Luke finally lost the ongoing Force push war. The Zabrak, now free to move, leaped out of Synth?s crosshairs. The Tatooine man fell to the floor and slid back to where Synth was
     
  11. Forcefire

    Forcefire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2000
    Geez, poor Messuni. Seeing "Alderaan" just rocketed out of nowhere. Though Nirug leaving burning footprints was very cool.

    Gah! Synth was absolutely brutal in this post. Blowing away that wolfman... wow. Almost as crazy as him seeing and processing the knife's markings in, what, a millisecond?

    Wednesday, come soon.
     
  12. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Forcefire: Really? Glad Alderaan was a surprise. The whole EcoNet built in Old Republic thing carried the possibility of tipping my hand. But all is going as I have foreseen. Excellent? :p

    Also happy you noticed the burning footprints. I loved the visual.

    And Synth is just darn intense. I have to find new ways of showing his genius and that kind of mental processing seemed to work.

    Thanks for reading!

    And, as a general note to everybody: Don?t forget to tell me whether you?re willing to do a survey! This isn?t for a grade, but it may earn you extra credit. ;)

    ******

    ?Messuni, I?m sorry,? Remy whispered. Still keeping both eyes firmly on Nirug, he held her close while she softly wept. Here were the remnants of her dead home, Alderaan. Utterly destroyed by the Empire, only space debris and that small sample of flora and fauna had survived. Yet, it was not a comforting return for her. Seeing the Alderaanian wildlife only opened an old, scabbed-over wound that Messuni had not addressed since her unfortunate voyage to the Graveyard not long after the world?s destruction. What truly hurt her was the lack of humans. It wasn?t a home. This gaping hole only emphasized Alderaan?s status. Messuni Roserain?s homeworld was nothing but a ghost, and this its remains. Like the holo of a departed loved one, no matter how peaceful it seemed, it still unearthed memory of the subject?s fate.

    Nirug watched Messuni sob into Remy?s shoulder. The detective wrapped one arm around her and aimed his blaster pistol with the other. His partner joined him in targeting the Dark Jedi.

    ?Ah, pain,? Nirug noted. A maniac grin came over his face. ?My favorite.? He turned his hands so the palms were up and closed his fists around the flames inside. The chamber?s simulated weather patterns were now in the first onset of early autumn. Leaves in the air around the Dark Jedi ignited. Nirug threw the embers in either direction, setting fire to extinct trees. He spread the blaze to more Alderaanian plants, bringing panic to an environment that had remained in the same peaceful condition for years. It had been blissfully unaware of the havoc wrought by malicious humans? until now. As he did so, he ran erratically among the flames to ensure that the detectives would have no clear shot.

    Messuni fell to her knees. Remy reached to help her, but she didn?t take his hand. Instead she drew both heavy blasters.

    Everything was black and red. The air was filling with smoke ? which set off a faulty alarm that cut out every few seconds. Cracks of breaking wood and of embers, the roar of the fire, and the voice of EcoNet One announcing their arrival out of hyperspace all assaulted their ears. Smoke and fear pheromones of nearby Alderaanian lupines choked them. Messuni kneeled with a blaster extended in each hand to either side, surrounded by the second burning of her home. Old sorrows faded to new rage. ?Lossk!? she screamed. ?You will die for this!?

    ?I get that a lot,? he noted demurely, even as he threw more fire. He was once again fluctuating in personality, yet the Eye of the Force stabilized his power. He hopped down from a short branch just before it collapsed with the rest of the flaming tree. He landed nearly twenty meters directly in front of Messuni. She raised her twin blasters from pointing at the ground at her sides. She gritted her teeth and held down the triggers. The sound of echoing blasterfire joined the other noises, as did the voice of Ysanne Isard, demanding to know who was in charge of the station and that he, she, or it change trajectories immediately.

    Nirug didn?t have time to defend himself. His feet hit the ground, putting out a small grassfire beneath them, and instantly crimson bolts pierced his right leg. He stumbled and fell toward the ground. Still Nirug didn?t hit it. The Eye intervened to levitate him a centimeter over a brook. That?s when he noticed drops of his own blood mixing with the water, his power?s mortal enemy. Niru
     
  13. Forcefire

    Forcefire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2000
    Wow, that was quite a finish to the story.

    Nirug's final transformation into complete Dark Side evil was uber-creepy.

    Nirug screamed triumphantly, ?The galaxy will be saved at last!?

    ?I believe,? a clipped and proper Imperial voice interrupted, ?that is more his area of expertise, Mister Lossk.?

    Wicked-cool introduction for Master Skywalker, there. Even better coming from Synth "you're still a Rebel" Lydon.

    Great teamwork on everyone's part to bring down Lossk.

    ?I?m amazed, really. The smartest of you was foolish enough to trust me not to demand the Eye, yet the most moronic saw through my harsh exterior to see the despicable human being underneath. I should just take my leave now and bring this abominable rock to my superiors. It should be easy. My ship is still in the docking bay, ready to take me there in but seven minutes. It should be easy.? Synth?s fingers slipped and dropped his blaster with a loud echoing noise. ?It?s not. I will not be that traitor, detectives. I will not be that man.?
    That is the quintessential Synth moment, right there. He's a man who wants to do the right thing, he just forgets that when there's nobody around to remind him.

    And Zion's appearance was very cool, seeing a forgotten minor figure catapault himself into the spotlight for a moment. And what a moment it was for Remy.

    And of course Messuni does her impossible schtick yet again. Good for her, and good for us readers.

    Survey? I might. Can't wait to see the epilogue.
     
  14. Mjsullivan

    Mjsullivan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Ha, face - what a way to finish it up! Sorry I missed a couple again, I really wanted to be here for the thrilling conclusion. This will have to do however - and besides, I get to read it all at once ;)

    I'd be applauding had this been a) the final post or b) Messuni had ordered everyone to hold their applause. Such a fitting end to everything and everyone. Lossk gets a taste of his own medicine. Remy saves everyone from the assassin. Everything is just hunky-dory.

    Until you nearly Killed Messuni.

    You had me worried for a moment there - but I knew you couldn't kill her! Not after I said the once-and-once-only S-word in my last reply here ;) It'd break Remy's heart! And hooray, luckily you made the happier choice :D

    Okay now, I'm saving all my in-depth story stuff for the always thorough survey, but I want to sum up the things I liked from the last two posts:

    -Synth turning out not to be a traitor.

    Where I can usually have a good idea of where a character is going, Synth had me guessing right till the end. He is an evil genius, after all. You wrote yourself your very own SW version of Severus Snape. I had always hoped that Synth was good inside, but didn't get it for sure until he did that whole twisty-turning thing at the end. It was nice of him to let it show for the detectives. Maybe Remy will like him better from now on. Bravo on that one Face!

    -Zion.

    He's been there the whole time! I love stuff like that - as opposed to Remy :p. Way to twist the finale up. It was incredibly Noiresque :D

    -Messuni & Alderaan

    It was a great touch in terms of getting Messuni all riled up at the ending there by placing her in the alderaanian environment. Nothing works better at rendering an iron-willed warrior intensely cranky ;) and cool, she used the Force! Messuni with the force is something that all bad guys everywhere should be totally afraid of ;)

    - Luke saying 'not a word to diabet'. Hehehe.

    -Big, big 'Splosion. :D

    Well Face, as I said I'll save the in-depthery for a survey which I am more than happy to participate in ;) Until then though, Bravo again Face. I think it's okay for me to say that this has been the biggest and best Galaxy Noir so far. You just wait until the next awards :D

    See you for the epilogue!
     
  15. amidalachick

    amidalachick FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Oh. My. :eek:

    What a finish! I'm still in shock from the fact that you almost killed Messuni! I was literally on the edge of my seat through that whole part.

    Let's see, what else? As Forcefire and Mjsullivan have mentioned, Zion showing up was way cool. And Synth! It's always nice to know that even the people who appear to be the bad guys have their hearts in the right place when it really counts. :D And the whole fight with Nirug...excellent! I was worried for Jav for a minute there, until Synth and Luke showed up to save the day. ;)

    You've done a wonderful, wonderful job, and I'm really looking forward to the epilogue! =D=

    As for the survey...if you put one up, I'll try to answer it. :)
     
  16. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Okay, this is a day late. I?m terribly sorry, but I couldn?t get onto the Internet yesterday. But everything?s working today, so here it is, the long-awaited last post of Galaxy Noir III: Echoes of Legacy. Hope you like it?

    Forcefire: Thanks for reading and replying! Glad you liked it.

    I think fighting alongside Luke has changed Synth?s opinions quite a bit. For one, he definitely believes in the Light Side now. And maybe softened a bit on this particular former Rebel. Can respect him, if not like him. Actually, that?s about all Jav can muster. :p

    But I think I gave everybody their moment in this climax, and that?s what I?m most pleased with as far as this sequence goes. Remy got to take Zion out (with Hai-soz?s blaster; talk about connecting things), Messuni got to save half a world, Synth got to do something good for once, Jav got to avenge Kroma Sheik, Luke served as an enabler for a lot of it?

    Mjs: Glad you caught up, and enjoyed it. I look forward to your always interesting analysis.

    Not after I said the once-and-once-only S-word in my last reply here

    That could be so incredibly misconstrued. ;)

    Synth?s development is one of my favorite parts of this fic. So happy I pleased one of his top fans. :) One question, though, who is Severus Snape? My memory may be on the fritz.

    This one was a little less Noiresque, purely out of subject matter. I had an Ancient Jedi Artifact and a Token Dark Jedi, so I had to bring in whatever connections I could to the underworld and mystery. Zion?s existence as a hired assassin is one result, and his return from the dead here is another. I?m just relieved people remembered him.

    Messuni with the force is something that all bad guys everywhere should be totally afraid of

    [face_devil] Will address that further in this post?

    And of course there had to be the big big ?splosion. Since I saw the Death Star go up over Yavin, I?ve been a fan. :p

    amidalachick: First, thanks for reading and commenting. It?s greatly appreciated. :D

    I'm still in shock from the fact that you almost killed Messuni!

    Next: Galaxy Noir IV: The Search for Roserain. Turns out she?s been hiding in Dr. McCoy?s brain the whole time. ;)

    I?m so excited that the story?s been well-received. You people are far too good to me. =D=

    Now, epilogue coming right up.

    ******

    The case had finally ended. The Eye of the Force was gone, never to return. Nirug Lossk had gotten his wish ? death for it and himself. While Isard had unfortunately survived, it was a necessary defeat to avoid taking a hemisphere of people with her. She immediately flew off into hyperspace once EcoNet One blew up. Remy described the action as ?a smidge antisocial.? It turns out he was using gross understatement for humorous purposes.

    Yes, the entire ordeal was finished, but at a cost. Before his death, Vengiom Hai-soz had paralyzed the Sonar Man from his lower back down. Meih Diabet had been transferred to Phorim City forensics, putting her yet again in the position of clean cop in a dirty city. Kroma Sheik was dead. Remy, Roserain, Lydon, Skywalker, and I had all suffered more than our share of wounds. Not to mention, Remy and Roserain coming out of it, despite her recent traumatic non-wedding, romantically linked.

    The survivors of the race for the Eye were Luke Skywalker, our client in the whole affair; us, of course; Synth Lydon, who may have learned a lesson of some sort; and Taalos Amier, the wealthy collector with a league of assassins.

    Amier lost his two best hitmen, the Noghri Ki?yun and the scheming Falleen Mr. Zion. But other than that, the Imperial inquiries into his practices were cut short by the liberation of Iionbalak. Now he will have to deal with the New Republic. I only hope they realize what goes on beneath Amier Corporation?s friendly exterior.

    We stopped by a medical center planetside first, for obvious reasons.
     
  17. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Okay, that?s that. I don?t have any pretty trailers to tease you with this time around, but I hope you?ll all join in the following projects anyhoo. This is what?s next for The_Face?

    Escape from Perdition
    An escape artist is hired by the Royal to break out of the Empire?s impenetrable floating prison, the Perdition. This fic will lead directly into Galaxy Noir II, and tie into the upcoming Galaxy Grey (details below). I?m in the midst of writing the climax.

    For Hire
    Mjsullivan and I are bringing some of our most popular characters together at last! Messuni Roserain, Alias Sibul, Eva Pah?ker, and Craft all come together in the underworld of Corellia in this action-packed collaborative project. We have one out of five chapters finished.

    Galaxy Grey
    It?s been approx. fifteen years since Remy Diabet and Jav Yonx?s last case. But they?re brought back into the game when a serial killer thought imprisoned seems to have returned. This one will tie the whole Galaxy Noir series together in a way never before supposed. Guest starring just about every surviving GN cast member ever. Will probably turn out to be my most ambitious fic yet.

    I hesitate to plan further. I have a whole lot of fics sitting in prewriting right now, and you never know when one will come into the lead and demand to be written.

    In lieu of a trailer, please accept this little project, the official unofficial Galaxy Noir trilogy soundtrack!

    1. Tank! ? Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts
    2. Workin? For a Livin? ? Huey Lewis and the News
    3. It?s a New Thing (It?s Your Thing) ? the Isley Brothers
    4. Who Are You ? The Who
    5. Live and Let Die ? Paul McCartney and Wings
    6. Drumbone ? Blue Man Group
    7. Cantina Band 1 ? John Williams
    8. The Imperial March (Darth Vader?s Theme) ? John Williams
    9. I am a Rock ? Simon and Garfunkel
    10. From Underneath ? Hawk Nelson
    11. Hellsing opening/A World without Logos
    12. Han Solo Returns ? John Williams
    13. Be My Escape ? Relient K
    14. More Than Useless ? Relient K
    15. I Can?t Turn U Loose ? the Blues Brothers
    16. Duel of the Fates ? John Williams
    17. Mission: Impossible theme
    18. Ave Maria ? Bach-Gounod
    19. Twisted Nerve ? Bernard Herrman
    20. Firefly theme/Ballad of Serenity
    21. Gollum?s Song (feat. Emiliana Torrini)
    22. Read or Die theme

    And why in the GFFA did Face pick these songs (and themes and tracks)?

    1. The incredible jazz theme song for the Cowboy Bebop series. As one of the early inspirations for Galaxy Noir, I picture it as the space detectives? theme.
    2. Because, in the end, that?s what most of the characters are doing. Workin? for a livin?. Livin? and a?workin?. Takin? what they?re givin?, ?cause they?re workin? for a livin?.
    3. This song has Messuni Roserain written all over it.
    4. C.S.I. chose well.
    5. The contract killer?s anthem.
    6. Would make a groovy addition to any standoff. I considered Tension 2, but it was too much. Still a good track, anyway.
    7. Here we move into the events of Galaxy Noir II. Cantina Band for the bar where Jav gets Our Heroes into a speeder chase.
    8. Meet Synth Lydon, investigative genius.
    9. Meet Jav Yonx, investigative genius.
    10. Find the lyrics. Connect to character pasts. Enjoy.
    11. Another funky fresh song from anime. Sometimes it seems like the Japanese are producing more quality soul than the entire Western Hemisphere these days.
    12. Luke Confronts Jabba/Den of the Rancor seemed too swashbuckling adventurey for what went down in the ol? Hutt?s palace in GNII. Shots were fired and some random thugs fell, Our Heroes? combined stun bolts took down the rancor, and Azure kicked Bib Fortuna between the legs. That?s dull compared to other parts of the series. HSR gives a nice ambience that fits more the tension of the scene.
    13. I plan to write a songfic for this one concerning a certain prisoner of the Perdition.
    14. Might also songfic this one.
    15. I couldn?t resist a little Blues Brothers, and this works.
    16. I bring in a little prequel action for GNIII?s
     
  18. talkingbanana

    talkingbanana Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Aw, Face! You went and finished GNIII while I've been slaving away trying to survive my first semester of college! Fantastic ending, but it'd be so much easier to keep up with stories if I didn't have all this work to do. Here, you do it.

    *shoves all of her schoolwork in Face's direction and continues the review*

    8/30 post

    If you had posted this one on time instead of a day early, I could call it my 18th birthday present. But alas, you posted early, so I'll just have to . . . pretend. :p

    I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I really enjoy seeing Synth work with our favorite detectives instead of against them - it highlights just how bad things have gotten if even the bad guy has to join forces with the good guy to beat the really bad guy. If that makes sense. ;) And the interaction between him and Luke was amazing.

    ?We jump out and shoot their weapons off.?

    ?Do you know what you?re asking of me??

    ?Nothing you can?t do, action hero.? She kissed him.


    Aw, how cute. ;)

    Dang, Messuni gets really beat up in this fic. I can't even count how many times she's been injured this time around. Poor girl! But I do love how she's wearing the tasteless Twi'lek shirt from the very beginning, and the "Do you always move this fast?" line made me chuckle.

    ?I know I?ve been quite eager to kill Lossk for what he?s done, but? What are we going to do when we go up against him?? asked Jav.

    ?Likely die,? was Messuni?s response.

    ?Well,? the Duro said, ?at least there?s a plan.?


    *snickers* That sounds familiar.

    9/4 post

    For hating mush, you're doing an amazing job of writing it. I think you should keep writing romance and mush. Lots of mush. Who knows, you may yet get another Squee!!! out of mjs. ;)

    Alderaan! Oh, Face, you're cruel. :_|

    Synth glanced down at Luke Skywalker, Jedi master, lying on his back.

    ?Not a word to Diabet,? grumbled Luke.


    [face_laugh]

    9/7 post

    Fantastic fight scene, with the chaos from the fire and the blasters and Iceheart and all that. Her voice coming over the speaker during all that was a neat touch.

    Remy got very beat up in this fic, too. Gracious, you need to be kinder to your OCs. They might stage a rebellion and refuse to let you write them - something I have experience with, I'm afraid. Don't let that happen! ;)

    Nirug screamed triumphantly, ?The galaxy will be saved at last!?

    ?I believe,? a clipped and proper Imperial voice interrupted, ?that is more his area of expertise, Mister Lossk.?


    [face_laugh]

    WHOA! Messuni busting out some telekinesis? Incredible, that Eye of the Force is. Of course, I've also read the whole thing now and I know why she was able to do that - which adds a whole new dimension to all the GNs, and I'll have to go back and reread them all now (I'll never get my psychology reading done 'cause of you! :p ) to catch all the hints of that.

    [face_dancing] =D= for Synth becoming a good guy! I knew he had it in him.

    Blast, where did Zion come from?

    LOVED this part:

    ?Don?t you just love those little twists, detectives??

    A determined male voice with a Corellian accent came from behind the Falleen. ?Actually,? Remy said, ?I hate ?em.?

    A strange bolt shot out of Zion?s torso, followed by three more. He wavered and finally fell dead, smoke rising from his body. Remy stood over the corpse with the CC-17 blaster he had secretly stolen from Venigom Hai-soz on The Keep. He also wavered, from a brief moment of nausea, and dropped the brutal weapon.

    ?Remy, you did it,? Messuni whispered, a little obviously.

    The Corellian smiled. ?I have a good teacher.?


    Yay for Remy! :D And his teacher. ;)

    MESSUNI! Now's not the time to go sacrfice yourself for the good of the galaxy! There wouldn't be any more GN mush! I don't know that I've ever been so angry while reading a story, until I got to the part where she figured out some other way to save the galaxy and returned alive.

     
  19. Forcefire

    Forcefire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2000
    So we come now to the epilogue. It's a thing of beauty, it is.

    ?It turns out; I am Force-micro-sensitive!? Messuni declared proudly.
    Ah, that's a nice way of putting it. Interesting development on Messuni's part.

    Synth put his fingers to his head like a blaster.
    I have a mental image of mjs (whom i've never seen, and yet with the mental image) doing the same at his computer.

    Interesting to see Synth cut loose on his own. Why, I'd bet there's even a story in there somewhere.

    And of course the classic GN ending. =D=


    All those projects sound like good times to be had. Say, from what I remember of the description, Perdition might be one of those cool Episode III type Star Destroyers, right?

    I am digging on the soundtrack. Tank! of course is perfect for our heroes. Huey Lewis for the working stiff aspect is nice. Just so you know, the Hellsing theme is called "A World without Logos." Whether that refers to advertising fare or the Latin, I don't know. I admit to a negative reaction to Firefly's "Ballad of Serenity" at first, but it's really grown on me. Does a great job of summing up a seedy sider's perspective. Now where is that DVD set I ordered?

    Again, a very fun, enjoyable story.
     
  20. Mjsullivan

    Mjsullivan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Reply time, Face.

    And wow.

    I really cant believe that GNIII is finally over. As Jav says at the beginning of the case...it has finally ended. I think I mentioned before that this has been my favourite Noir so far. It had it all. Detective stuff, Messuni + Remy, Synth doing his 'best imp ever' thing, Luke, Splosions, Sonar Man.... In short, all the stuff that goes toward making GN one of the best series of crime/mystery/action/humour/etc stories on the JC forums. [face_clap]

    Oh well, I suppose I should comment on the epilogue aswell :p

    Remy described the action as "a smidge antisocial." It turns out he was using gross understatement for humorous purposes.

    Ahh Face, this is the sort of thing that I am going to miss until your next projects :D And I am very happy to note that Remy got a new caf maker. Though really, if he'd just waited until the wedding he'd have gotten one for free from all of his family and friends.

    And now that Synth is a freelancer, I cant wait to see what sort of hijinks that he gets up to in the big wide galaxy :D I am looking very much forward to his appearance in Galaxy Grey (gray! Sorry), if he makes it there that is. He made the right choice in the end. The only problem is, now Remy can't really call him Mr. Vendetta.

    And Messuni is Micro-Force-Sensitive!

    I am very glad actually that you didnt give ger fully fledged force ability - there are altogether too many fics where the discovery of force aptitude is the happy ending everyone was waiting for :p In this case it's just perfect - she cant use the force for anything serious, but it helps explain that little edge she seems to have over everyone. Good move, Face ;)

    And all those future projects sound awesome and I cant wait to check them out! I mean, you know, obviously I'm not referring to 'For Hire' seeing as I'm co-writing it with you. Not that that fic wont be awesome also! But...you know what I meant.

    ...Yeah.

    *smooth*

    haha, and the soundtrack is all wonderfully fitting (what songs I know, in any case!) - though I especially got a surprise to find Jav Yonx's theme to be 'I am a rock' by Simon and Garfunkel. I admit I had to listen to it again, and found it perfectly suited - I'll hear it when I read his name from now on :D

    Again Face, just totally brilliant. =D=.

    GN is my oldest and favourite series on these boards, and it will be a crime if you dont receive the recognition that the stories deserve at the next awards. Not that awards are important or anything :) they're just nice, and look purdy.

    Looking forward to the survey - and until then, just bravo.

    :D
     
  21. amidalachick

    amidalachick FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    *points up* What everyone else said. :p

    ?Where are Miss Roserain and the Rebel??

    ?You know, Mister Vendetta,? Remy replied, ?they?re not the Rebellion any more. It?s a little something called the New Republic. Pretty much runs the galaxy? Ring any bells??

    Synth turned to Jav. ?Where are Miss Roserain and the Rebel??


    [face_laugh] I love that.

    Actually, I love the whole epilogue. Banter, the return of "Jax" ( ;))...Messuni with the Force! Or micro-with the Force, anyway. :p Remy asking if she can scratch her back with it...that's one of the best questions I've ever heard. :D And, of course, the classic ending. =D=

    Nice soundtrack, too. Judging from the songs that I know, you've managed to find very fitting ones. :D

    Again, you did a wonderful, brilliant job here! =D= I'm sad that it's over, but I am so looking forward to all your future projects. I know they'll be great!
     
  22. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    ?naner: *balancing own homework load*

    *shoves all of her schoolwork in Face's direction and continues the review*

    No! No, noaggh! *back breaks* :p

    If you had posted this one on time instead of a day early, I could call it my 18th birthday present. But alas, you posted early, so I'll just have to . . . pretend.

    Be my guest. ;) :D

    I see what you mean about Synth helping against the greater evil. A great way of establishing villains? intensity is by setting up one baddie and then introducing his even worse second cousin, or whatever. Now I don?t know what I?m talking about. Move along?

    You people should know by now the terrible things that happen to GFFA detectives-for-hire. Every P.I. but Remy and Jav died in the first one. Azure bore the brunt of the misfortunes in GNII, but the other hammer had to drop some time! ;)

    Okay, I really don?t know what I?m talking about any more.

    The answer to your idea concerning mush is a resounding NEVER NEVER NEVER! You can?t make me, so there! :p ?Then again, if I could get mjs to go Squee!!! again? [face_mischief]

    In seriousness, though. Will I write romantic bits when in one of the humans? POVs? From time to time ? kind of hard to have two characters romantically involved and ignore it. Will it be good? I hope so. Will I go mushy? I refer you to my earlier, somewhat sanity-deficient, screamed response.

    Actually, Messuni being Force-micro-sensitive was a late development, but I already had groundwork that supported it and I went for it. IIRC, it came in during the planning of the climax (which was going on somewhere during the writing of the scenes with Amier and co., I think). Glad it did its job, but I?d hold off on reading past GNs just for clues to that. Wait for a series re-read until I completely redefine everything that?s come before in Galaxy Grey. [face_devil]

    ?Can Luke scratch the unreachable spot on his back?? was addressed in one of the Wraith books. Good stuff (which is a given for Allston, but still). Glad you liked the small nod.

    By the time of Galaxy Grey, Remy and Messuni have two teenage kids (Aria and Wes), who are becoming their very own three-dimensional characters. Wes is still a lot like his dad, but I think it works.

    Glad you like the soundtrack. I thought of you while I was putting the RK songs on there. :D Do you know Hawk Nelson, of Track 10? They?re something like Relient K (Christian punk-ish rock-ish), and, quality-wise, are about on par with them at the Two Lefts? level. Can?t touch RK for lyrics, though. There are few who can. And ?Be My Escape? is completed. I?ll probably just run it in the Escape from Perdition thread, since it relies so heavily on the original setting and characters.

    Thanks so much for your continued readership, thoughtful replies (and a squeal), and general support for a crazy person. [:D]

    Forcefire: And thanks go to you, too, brother. You?re always loyal to the Noir non-cause, offer help that betters the story, show up early and often to the posts, and find time to provide insight, too. =D=

    I have a mental image of mjs (whom i've never seen, and yet with the mental image) doing the same at his computer.

    [face_laugh]

    Synth as a freelancer will be interesting, even though it makes it harder logistically for me to get him involved. The Empire will nose into everything, but now I need some other client to hire Synth onto the same case as or a parallel case to the detectives?. The pains I put myself through. :rolleyes:

    Perdition is indeed an old Republic war vessel. What was the name of the Ep. III wedges, anyway? I?ll look it up and make it so, since that?s the image I had anyway. :D

    I knew the Hellsing opener had another name, but for the life of me, I couldn?t remember what it was. Thanks. I rassled (that?s right, rassled) with the Firefly theme, but
     
  23. Forcefire

    Forcefire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2000
    Survey time, then.

    THE STORY

    -What did you enjoy about Galaxy Noir III? Be specific, if you would.

    All the character movement was quite nice. This crazy hunt for the rock shoved everybody into a new, interesting direction, which I appreciate

    -To match with above, what didn?t you enjoy about Galaxy Noir III? Be honest. I dare you. wink
    Hmm. I dunno. I felt like it maybe lost a skosh (a skosh) of energy after Hai-Soz bit it. That took, what, two sides out of the equationg (with Synth soon to follow)? Less players=hard to keep everything moving like gangbusters as they were before.

    -Were you ever bored? If so, when?
    Nah, don't think so.

    -Could you follow the plot easily enough? Were there any holes in said plot?
    I kept up with the plot just fine, thankyouverymuch.

    -Was the departure from murder mysteries good for this story? I plan to return to more traditional whodunits for the other Noir stories I have planned (at least 3), but did the change work here?
    A change never hurts if it's natural. This was in step with the characters' roles, though I can't help but feel things were a little stronger when the Force focus slipped out of the picture (Hai-Soz and so on, as opposed to chanting crazies.) Though, that could be personal love for the seedy showing through. I like the sort of heroes as Indiana Jones/everyone else as Belloq thing going on. ("So you see Mr. Diabet, there is nothing you can posess which I cannot take away.")

    Also three? That calls for breaking out the googly eyes. 8-}

    -Was the conclusion satisfying?
    Aw yeah, everybody got a chance to shine (as I noted earlier). And the Remy/Messuni relationship began. Awww.

    -How did you like or dislike it as a sequel?
    Quality sequel. Definitely not a retread in any sense of the word.

    THE HEROES

    -What were your thoughts on Jav Yonx as a co-main character?

    Jav got to have his moments, the best of which were opposite Synth (aside from the awesome rooftop mind control part). I liked him.

    -What about his partner in anti-crime, Remy Diabet?
    Remy had all sorts of stuff going on in this fic. Got some nice face time with the villains, hooked up with Messuni... Wash and Zoe! They're a little like Wash and Zoe, come to think of it. That's a compliment.

    -And your friend and mine, Messuni Roserain?
    Messuni was nice, took one for the team in there. Took several from the team. It was not a fun time to be Messuni this fic. Except with Remy. See previous awww.

    -What about the new relationship between Messuni and Remy? Any thoughts on where it could go from here (I have a few of my own, but can incorporate where possible)?
    Well, aside from some initial tenderness, we haven't seen a whole lot of them Together, so really the possibilities are vast. Nothing's springing to mind at the moment, but I look forward to seeing where it goes.

    -In this story, I took my first serious crack at writing Luke Skywalker (ignoring ?The Astoundingly Amazing, One and Only Boushh? for obvious reasons). Was my characterization good, bad, somewhere in between? Did he work in the fic?
    Luke, Luke, the Jedi man. I think you did a pretty nice job of portraying him.

    -There were some other lesser characters (The Sonar Man, Alias Sibul, Meih Diabet, Audrinna ?Audio? Jaxic). How do you feel about them?
    Best fic for Sonar yet. Very neat to draw him into the story more directly. Alias was obnoxious at times, but he was trying to be, so don't take that as criticism.

    THE VILLAINS

    -What?s your opinion concerning Nirug Lossk, our fiery Force adept cultist?

    Nirug had a cool bit going with the Emperor mind wipe deal. Good, formidable villain.

    -Taalos Amier, the Falleen collector, and his league of assassins? Is he worth meeting again?
    Evil Kenshin was neat in his hidden leviathan of crime stuff, and had assassins with cool names. Sure.

    -What are your thoughts on Synth Lydon?
    Synth is such a great villain for th
     
  24. Mjsullivan

    Mjsullivan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 8, 2003
    THE STORY

    -What did you enjoy about Galaxy Noir III? Be specific, if you would.

    Face, Face, Face
    . Where to begin! Honestly, you know I enjoy nearly every aspect of GN. But if I had to pick one particular part that I loved most, I love the humour and characters especially. Jav, Remy, Messuni, Synth, Sonar .... the whole gang are just a bunch of brilliance. I love the banter between them, and I really liked the way they meshed in this story.

    Remy and Messuni, well that's a given. You heard the forbidden word that I used for that one ;) But beyond that, you split up Remy and Jav just like you promised you would! Awesome! And it worked really well too, because you got Synth and Jav working together, which turned out to be a great lot of fun. In general, the characters were great, and they make me want to read more Galaxy Noir :D

    Ignoring your instructions, I'm now going to make broad and general statements about other aspects :p

    Pacing. Brilliant. There's not a dull moment in Galaxy Noir ever, even the times when things had the potential to be a little slow. Your characters saw to that, and your knack for cutting out the unimportant stuff keeps the story cracking along.

    Action. Also Brilliant. For the sheer volume of action in the story, it alone gets an honourable mention ;) But the way you write it and make it new and interesting with each different confrontation is what gives GN the edge here. Clap clap clap.



    -To match with above, what didn't you enjoy about Galaxy Noir III? Be honest. I dare you.

    Honestly? Really honestly? Not much :p

    If you're really going to make me say something here, how about this - on rare occasions, I found myself forgetting the various influences that characters had on the story. But to be frank, this was fixed up by my going back over the posts previous and refreshing really quick. Thats happened to me before on GN stories, and I think its just more a problem with my erratic memory than anything else :p In a detective story, you aren't supposed to remember all the bit characters anyway! So consider that your only criticism Face ;)

    Geez, I hope that doesn't feel like a cop out. I suppose I could mention one other thing, is that during the finale when Messuni was taking EcoNet away and nobly sacrificing herself, I thought it might have zipped by a bit quickly. She seemed to make the decision very quickly, and the others came across as a bit indifferent to it (until they got away from the station that is. Then Remy got more animated ;) ). But that is the absolute last thing, heheh.


    -Were you ever bored? If so, when?


    *Categorically answers no*


    -Could you follow the plot easily enough? Were there any holes in said plot?

    The plot in this GN was easy to follow and challenging enough to keep me engaged! Probably my favourite so far of the GN series, even though as you say it strayed from the murder mystery format somewhat. There was still ample stuff to keep us guessing and plenty of Noiresque twists and turns. If there were any holes, they sailed right by me without a hint of notice.


    -Was the departure from murder mysteries good for this story? I plan to return to more traditional whodunits for the other Noir stories I have planned (at least 3), but did the change work here?

    As I kinda mentioned, the format worked just fine here - the departure was brilliant in terms of character development and other such things, and there was still a good deal of detective stuff ;) Though the original whodunnit style is perfect for them, I must say - I am so looking forward to the other three Noir stories you've got in store :D


    -Was the conclusion satisfying?

    Most definitely - the bad guy got what he deserved and then ANOTHER bad guy got what he deserved. And who could forget the big explosion! :D All the loose ends were tied up well, and I was very satisfied with the result. This story really struck me as being a Star Wars story (well, that sounds weaker than what I mean). The vibe her
     
  25. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Thanks for doing the survey, Forcefire!

    Wow. The first time I typed that, I got a 1 for punctuation. That?s teh s uck. ;)

    My biggest regret with GNIII is the last act. As you mentioned, with Hai-soz dead and Amier laying low, things slowed down after I?d built them up. Not good. So, if I were to change anything about major about the plot, I would either cut out the return to Corellia bit, or have EcoNet lead more directly out of the power plant. And while Infieron?s background was fun to explore, I might put it earlier in the fic so it doesn?t break into our tension. And maybe have Mr. Zion posthumously report back to Amier as a Mysterious Shadow?.

    Sonar?s presence will only be felt more and more on the boards. He?s a fun character to work with, and deserves to be explored. As for Alias, I?d like to get beneath the? er, eccentric? persona some time.

    Cool. You can expect the Amier Corporation to return with a vengeance. But that?s a long long time away, so don?t get too excited just yet. :p

    In the beginning of Galaxy Noir, the detectives were finishing up a case of death by speeder, yes. This was in fact an allusion to a very early case idea in prewriting, when the story was still C.S.I. instead of Sam Spade. I ditched the official cops, largely because I didn?t want to research the detailed workings of CorSec. :p Another irony is that, in the next scene, Jav about gets run over by a speeder while fighting Wynt Tlach. Go figure.

    A good McGuffin for our detectives.

    That is a funny word. McGuffin. McGuffin. McGuffin.

    mjs: And thanks also to you for your input!

    I?m glad you liked seeing Jav and Synth in action together. We?ll be briefly seeing them when they were actually partners in the prequel, though I?m considering a reworking of the plot that will bring more impact and, as a bonus, have them on the same side longer.

    Those statements are actually the degree of specificity I was looking for. You told me exactly what aspects you liked. Thanks! [face_blush]

    I?m happy it still felt Noir. I tried my hardest to work in some mystery into this essentially basic ?race for the shiny thing? plot.

    Hehe - she's got a heart of gold and an exterior of ray shielding and durasteel armour.

    Great way to put it! Add some sort of spacey quantifier to gold and we?ve got quite the GFFA analogy. :D

    Hai-soz will not return from the dead (that would undermine the scene he went out in), but I think I?ll work a lot of the history alluded to in this story into the Azure/Indigo spinoff. So we?ll see when Hai-soz killed some of the Sonar Man?s ears, and when Taalos Amier apparently put Hai-soz back in his place. I hope.

    Well, Galaxy Grey counts toward the three GNs. Besides Galaxy Grey, there?s also Galaxy of Suspects (Jav and Remy?s first case together) and Galaxy Noir IV: Subtitle To Be Determined (bridging III and Grey). And For Hire and the spinoff I was just talking about in there somewhere. That?s probably it, but you never know when a bunny will strike. *clutches baseball bat to ward them off*
     
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