GAME: Reconstruct A New Hope! (humour)

They battle and mundi is killed by vader and the death stick guy runs away.



Then......

 

::The Deathstick Guy is being chased my Vader around the Death Star::

Vader: Come here you little twirp!!

::Being small and quicker, the DSG starts to gain distance on Vader. He turns a corner and goes into a room. Out of nowhere he pulls a cell phone out of his pocket::

DSG: Tank, I need a pick-up!!

::Just then Vader enters the room, lightsaber drawn::

Vader: Now my little friend, you will die!

::Suddenly, a random telephone rings next to the DSG. He picks up the phone, brings it up to his ear and is sucked into the phone::

Vader: ::shocked and outraged:: Hey that's not fair! He can't use references to another movie! Bad Form!

::Vader decides to take out his anger on the fighters outside. He sprints back to his fighter::

*Cut to space. Inside Biggs' cockpit*

::Biggs' begins his run down the Death Star trench. Suddenly then voice of Obi-wan is heard::

Obi-wan: Use the force, Luke

Biggs: What the hell is that?

Obi-wan: Oops, sorry, wrong cockpit. My bad

:istracted by Obi-wan's voice, Biggs' forgets about the trench and flys right into the wall and exploding::

*Cut to Luke's cockpit*

Luke: Well I guess I don't have to worry about those power converters...

Obi-wan: Use the force, Luke

Luke: Oh no! I know what you did to Biggs, get the heck outta here! ::starts waving his hands around as if being attacked by bees::

Suddenly at that moment, something so strange, so sinister, and so utterly horrible that it's effects would ripple through the galaxy happened.....

 

Imperial Officer: Lord Vader an urgent message from the Emperor!
(an uncomfortable silence ensues as they both stand motionless)
Vader: Get out! I am not going to kneel down in front of you again trooper.
(officer leaves shaking his head and saying aww shucks. Vader kneels and is greeted by a hologram of the emperor)
Vader: what is thy bidding, my master
Emperor: Just thought I would let you know that youd better get the Hell out of there before you die.
Vader: Oh no I won't die, instead of going out to "deal with the rebels" I faked an old leg injury and sent other pilots to die in my place.
Emperor: I'm not talking about that (Idly starts peeling a bananna) this station is going to be blown up.
Vader: Have you forseen this in the force?
Emperor: No, i just saw the "secret plans" posted on the internet, I stumbled upon them while checking out a "twilek site". Even though I don't know anything about engineering, it was pretty obvious to figure it out when the first thing you see when you call up the plans are a big circle with a shaft leading straight to the main reactor. I mean who designed this thing, an ewok on an out of control speeder bike could take this thing out.
( vader runs out of the room screaming, "we're all gonna die!", careening into joyous troopers who, upon seeing him distressed, start singing, "put on a happy face!")
Tarkin: *bringing vader up short as he climbs into his ship* Vader, I thought you weren't going, what with your game leg and all?
Vader: *in a british accent* I got better. Besides, I was just thinking you know, don't ask anyone to do anything you're not willing to do, right?
Tarkin: the battle is over vader, and besides we need you to sing bass on "we're your friends", I was thinking about broadcasting it to the rebels and patching things up.
Vader: I'll just go and protect the transmitter then! *roars off in ship*
Tarkin: Ohh well, No one can bring my mood down, *to communications officer* put me through to the rebels, I have a message for them.
Officer: What, how did you get here so fast, I mean Go ahead sir.
Tarkin: Attention rebels . . .

 

Tarkin: You have come here, because you see us as a bad guys. But actually, we are restoring peace and justice in the galaxy.

Luke: Why you big meany!

Rebel: Yea, go back to England!

Tarkin: Aw, come on now! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!

Luke: Happy?! HAPPY?!!! You going to blow up our main rebel planet!!

Tarkin: Blow it up?! Oh no, we have changed our ways.

*qui gon appears next to Luke*

QuiGon: I don't like it, its a set-up.

Luke: Maybe, but, what other choice do we have?

QuiGon: No Mister Luke!

Luke: Hes lead us this far Qui Gon. Hes been true to his word.

Tarkin: Good Tarkin.. always helps.

Luke: Lead the way Tarkin.

Tarkin: Aww.. now thats more like it! *Choir music is heard in the Rebels speakers* Let me show yall the true healing power!!!! *starts to chant* You got to BE free!! Aw yea!

Stormtroopers: *singing* Wowowowow yea!

Luke: I feel free!!!!!

Tarkin: Oh yea you do!!! Now come on in here!!! Let us show you the true light!!!!!

Luke: YAY!

*a couple of Tie fighters and Darth vaders ship coming flying towards Luke in the Trench run*

*out of nowhere Han Solo stupidly comes flying in*

Tarkin: Hello there Millenuim Falcon we are going to play some sweet sounds of gospel sounds of....

*Han Solo shuts it off*

Han: Why those sick... stupid... *tries to constrain himself* ...FRUITCAKES! They will pay for this treachery!!! RARRR!!!!!!!!! *It was in this moment, that Han Solo lost his mind, and very stupidly hit the lightspeed button 600 times; sending the Millenuim Falcon flying right through the Death Star*

*cuts back to Tarkins office*

Tarkin: What on Earth was that?!!!

Stormtrooper: *walks up to Tarkin with a plate* A smoke and a pancake perhaps?

Tarkin: Hmm......Yes! *eats*

*cuts back to Luke zooming right towards the main shaft*

Luke: Only one thing Old Ben would do if he were here. And he would...*and in this moment as well, Luke loses his mind; screaming outloud* ..BANZAI! *Luke slams his fists into the cockpit, causing his whole ship to start on fire* Uh Oh Not good.

*Lukes ship flies right into a open window in the Death Star, crashing his X Wing to crash right next to Tarkins room*

Tarkin: What in the name of Charles Dickens was that??!!!!

 

Luke then goes up to tarkin and annoys him the death.



Luke then runs out of the death star in a ship and then the death star BLEW UP

 

Han: Great shot kid that was one in a million!!

Luke: What are you talking about?! I didn't shoot anything!!

Han: True but you shot it nonetheless!

QuiGonspirit: Poor Tarkin, his sudden change from bad to good in this story was sure bizarre. I mean come on! A gospel singer?! What the heck?!

Luke: hehe yea that was pretty messed up.

Han: ...Now what are we gonna do to celebrate this most joyous event?!

Luke: Joyous?!

Han: Hey! Come on! Scoundrels can be joyous if they want to be!

Luke: Ha yea right! prove it!

All: Hmm.....

*....Then suddenly in all of their minds, something clicked, they knew the perfect place to party and celebrate this event.*

Ben: I'm bringing the whiskey!

Han: YEEHAW!

*they ditch Yavin 4 and they fly to Coruscant where they decide to party in that Night Club from Episode 2*

*They crash right inside, the room goes quiet*

QuiGon: *drunk* Sorry guys. This is our town now. *he pulls out a blaster and shoots a jukebox, which plays 1999 by Prince*

Ben: Now as Jedi Master. I order all of you to get down with your bad selves!!!

Crowd: YAY!!!

Luke: Ben, what does that mean?

Ben: What does what mean?

Luke: Get down with your badself.

Ben: I should?! Okay! I will! Gladly!! *ben begins to break dance, spinning on his head*

Luke: Whoa! Now I get it! Lets party!!

*suddenly Princess Leia enters the Club*

Leia: Hey! Now hold on one friggin second here!!

*the whole room goes quiet again*....