GAME: Reconstruct Attack of the Clones!!

Anakin: We must go save my master Mango Kenobi!! I mean.. damnit! stupid mango..
Mango: (dances)
Anakin: HAHAHAH!!!
Padme: (grabs Mango and eats it)
Anakin: Oh good god! what have you done?! (cries)
QuiGon: not to worry. (throws in 6 more dancing mangos)
(cuts back to yoda and mace)
Yoda: Everyone around the mango create a congo line!!
(all of the Jedi Council dances in a congo line to La Cuca Rocha music)
Mango: (dances)

 

Owen: without C3P0 I will only have 5 droids.
QuiGon: Where are they!?!?1
Owen: Over there... d'oh
***
QuiGon: Better make that no droids
Owen: Without those droids we must rely on the vaporators for wealth... d'oh
***
QuiGon: Your vaporators seem to not work.

 

Owen: looks like all we have left is this whore house... d'oh.

All you need is love!

 

Padme: "Ani, there's a message from OB1, go check it, 'For I get MAD!"

Anakin: "Yes, my master."

(They go into the ship)

OB1: "Anakin, transmit this message to Coruscant. I've got Jeanette Fett and I'm going to bang her a lot. I've gone to Geonosis to give everyone a taste of her sweetness."

Padme: "What? Ani, we have to help him."

Anakin: "Why? He seems alright, he'll have fun."

Padme: "Lookit, that jedi ***k was supposed to be mine! You're still too young. If he's getting laid, it's gonna be with ME! Now take me to Geonosis, ya little slave bitch, 'fore I get MAD!"

Anakin: "As you wish."

 

::Resurrecting this topic from the dead::

Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis
PADME: Look, whatever happens, follow my lead!
ANAKIN: Why?
PADME: What?
ANAKIN: Why do you think we were assigned to protect her master?
PADME: We will not exceed our mandate, my very young apprentice.
ANAKIN: Protection is a job for security guards, master. Investigation is implied in our mandate.
PADME: We wi- What the ****? Who's messing with the ******* script? Oh well. Ani, do you think we have time, to...y'know...and still rescue Obi-Wan?
ANAKIN: Oh, ummm, don't you think we should resc?(cut off by Padmes dress being stuffed into his mouth...)
Lots of time later:
ANAKIN: I hope you die, you sick *******.
PADME: I'm not afraid to die. Unlike you, I've got a shot at heaven, whereas you just get to continually appear as a ghost!
ANAKIN: Big deal...waaaaaaaaait. Huh?
PADME: What I'm trying to say is, I love you.
ANAKIN: You loved me? And you never told me? All those times we ****** and you were holding back from me? You little !@$!@
PADME: (sounding like a frog) I truly, deeply l--need bathroom!
YODA: Anxious to see the senator in action we are. Join me in my bath, would you? Around the bubbles, a ducky create.
PADME: Oh my- PUT A TOWEL ON, YODA!!!!!!
ANAKIN: Whata bouta kiss?
PADME: Nevermind a kiss! We've got to...um...do aggressive negotiations.
YODA: Into the arena, go you must forward!
PADME&ANAKIN: What the?
YODA: Understand me you do not. Say again, I do: Go must into forwad, arena the you!
P&A: Huh???
YODA: fForward go arena you must, into the! And again, I say, Into arena you must forward the go! And finally, Arena you into forward go the you!
PADME: GET OUT OF MY CLOSE UP, YOU LITTLE MUPPET! (Kicks Yoda out of the cart)
YODA: Hurt, I am! Must me help do you!
P&A: ::groan::
ANAKIN: Where were we?

 

Padme: Lets head over to those huge clouds..I think its where the Geonosians smoke.
Anakin: Lucky Guess!
Padme: No actually I've been here before.
Anakin: Oh really?
Padme: Yea I had an orgy here once..
Anakin: WHAT did you say?!
Padme: I mean The natives are nasty buggers.
Anakin: Oh Okay! What are they like?
Padme: What you'd expect.
Anakin: Oh really? (blank face and then a long pause)
Padme: Okay.. they look like termites.
Anakin: I knew that.
(they land into the cloud of smoke, and then for some reason.. they know how to open the door that doesn't look like a door.)
Geonosian: Hello there. Would you like a tour of..
Anakin: DIE TERMITE SCUM!!! (anakin chops up the Geonosian for no reason)
Geonosian2: You bastard! You killed Bob!
G3: Yea he was officer of the month!!
G2: Come on guys lets get this pyscho!!
Anakin: BWAHAH!!! (chops them up with delight)
(several minutes later)
(they start a fire and cook some of the Geonosians to eat)
Padme: Taste just like Barbeque!!!

 

Droid factory

(anakin and padme walk in)
(instantly, Anakin is overwhelmed)

Anakin: Oh.. my... sweet molasses...
Padme: What?
Anakin: D-D-Dr... Droids... M-M-Millions of them (anakin starts breathing very fast)
Must... kill... all... ARGHHHHHHHH!!!
SpiritQuiGon: Oh... my... kill!
(anakin and quigon both go into a spin mode with their lightsaber's flashing in all directions.)
Anakin (on one droid): Die, die, die!!!
(they then begin slashing up machinery, Padme even joins in with a lightsaber she found somewhere, then they are captured, right after they nuke the whole factory)
***
Arena

Dooku: Obiwan, Anakin, Senator, we separists have decided to rejoin the republic unconditionally... (someone walks up to Dooku and whispers in his ear)
Dooku: They did what?!?!?! I have just been informed of your vandalism to our droid army. For this, we declare war on the republic.
ObiWan: What are you doing here?
Anakin: Rescuing you.
ObiWan: Good job... say, anakin, just how many droids did you kill?
Anakin: oh, you don't want to know.
...

 

Obi-wan: yes I do.
Anakin: No you- what the hell is that!?

*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...
*mango dances*
OB1&Ani: mmm... mango...

 

Dooku: Enough(shoots mango)
ObiWan: Now it's personal
...

 

Mango: Can you shoot a cloud? Can you kill a rainbow? Can you tell Anakin, "Hey, stop boinking padme,"? No! Such as Mango!

Dooku: Oh **** off! *shoots Mango again*

All you need is love!

 

(jango jumps down into the middle of the Trial room and points his gun at everyone)
Jango: Don't move all of you!
Dooku: Even me?
Jango: Yes even you!
Dooku: But you work for me you moron!
Jango: Oh yea.. well I'm still gonna burn a hole in your head!
Dooku: Well thats not gentlemen like!
Jango: Oh go blow a battle droid!
Dooku: ...........your sick.
Anakin: Eww!!! Jango has sex with battle droids!!
Jango: NO! thats not what i said!
Dooku: Yea Anakin is right you know.. takes one to know one!
Jango: Aww. sh**.. I'm..(hangs his head low)... gonna go grab a case of Whiskey. Call me when the war scene begins..
Dooku: Good.. and you stay in your room!
Jango: Bitch!
Dooku: Wussy!!
Padme: You are guys are total fruits!!
DookuAndJango: .....(angry face)
Padme,ObiwanAndAnakin: Not that theres anything wrong with that!!

 

Dooku: Now is the day Senator Amidala..
Nute: that you DIE!!!! BWAHAHAH!!
Dooku: No.. actually I was going to say.. that today is the day you get.. this.. box of Lucky Charms!
Padme: (confused) ohh.. ok.. (looks over to Anakin: WTF?)
Dooku: By your utter silence.. I'm assuming you have accepted my offer.. if you choose the Lucky Charms.. you stay alive with me.. and you must marry me.. and I can deal with you as I like.
Nute: HEY! that wasn't part of the deal! you promised me she would die today!
Dooku: I'm altering the deal! pray I don't alter it any further!!
Padme: You will never have my booty Dooku!
Dooku: (pissed off, but is very still and calm) How charming. I remember when I use to have you...
Anakin: Yea right.. HA! in your dreams Dooku!
Dooku: Actually yes.. I've had loads of dreams about the past. Anakin.. Experiences with Senator Amidala!! (lightning strikes creating a scary mood)
Anakin: (disgusted and disturbed look on his face) .......Padme.. how could you?
Padme: He had a cool lightsaber? what was I supposed to do?
Anakin: Umm..perhaps... not DOING HIM FOR A START!
(qui gons spirit appears in front of them)
Dooku: Ah yes.. Qui Gon.. its so nice to see you again, my old friend.
QuiGon: Yea yea.. cut the chatter bitch! What you doin talkin about my woman?!
Anakin: HUH?! Padme? Just how many Jedi did you sleep with before me?!
Padme: Right before we die.. I was ABOUT to tell you..
Anakin: Well.. you failed miserably!! EEEERR!!!!
Padme: Oh I love it when your pissed off!!
Dooku: Okay thats it..Padme? will you join me tonight for some Jawa stu?
Padme: Never!
Dooku: Damnit! Not even for a quickie?
QuiGOn: (force shoves dooku) The woman has made up her mind.. shes going with me! (qui gon grins, showing his big white teeth)
Anakin: (looks to qui gon in anger)

 

Anakin: Dooku, I'll kill you.
Obi-Wan: Anakin, wait, we'll fight him together (takes lightsaber and cuts anakin's arm off)
Anakin: Hey, why'd you do that?
Obi-Wan: Shhhhhhh. Quigon taught me that, if he thinks I'm on his side, he'll come for you. And then I kill him. Ooops, shouldn't have said that out loud, should I.
Dooku: I have you now.
QuiGon: Not if I can help it (throw's lightsaber, hitting Jango Fett and killing him)
Mace Windu: Hey, that was my part
QuiGon: I've altered the script, prey I don't alter it further.
MAce: Ok
QuiGon: That's it. (waves his hand)
Mace: What did you do? (looks at self seeing him wearing a clown costume. His lightsaber is now a rubber chicken)
JarJar: Uh-oh, big boomers
QuiGon: How did you get here?
Mace: Anakin, who are you talking to?
Anakin: I was talking to... him... (jarjar is nowhere to be seen)
Dooku: HHAHAHAHAHA
QuiGon: Shut up
Dooku: Make me
QuiGon: Okay, I will
(they get into a fight, ObiWan jumps in)
ObiWan: I'll get him master
QuiGon: No, (cuts ObiWan's handoff with his lightsaber)
ObiWan: Hey, what was that for?
QuiGon: Do I have to tell you?
...

 

*dooku charges*
Padme: WAIT! Dooku, dont you remember that time?
Dooku: Huh? Oh yeah...
Anakin: What?
Padme: Yeah, come here snowball...
Anakin: Snowball?
Padme: Yeah he likes to snowball.
Anakin: Whats Snowballing?
Padme: Well... (explains)
Anakin: AND YOU DID THAT!?
Padme: Well, he liked it...
Anakin: How many other guys have you...you know.
Padme: 36.
Anakin: WTF!? 36 including me!?
Padme: Oh... 37.
Obi-wan: *Slurping sound*
Anakin: SHUT UP!

All you need is love!

 

(suddenly out of nowhere!!)
(yoda and the clone troopers come crashing into the Arena.. and all hell breaks loose)
the Geonosians all fly away, the Jedi for no reason jump to certain death and stupidly get cornered by the Battle Droids)
Dooku: Ahhh sh**!!!!
Yoda: Fight early we will Dooku.. run away you will not!! The Darkside I sense in you!!
(Rocky theme plays)
Anakin: (grabs a random microphone out of nowhere) In the red corner we have the Battle Droids.. Count Dooku and Nute Gunray.. and in the Blue corner.. we have Master Yoda and the Clone Troopers, and a **** load of jedi!! who will win?!.. Round 1!!! FIGHT!!
(yoda uses force lightning on all of the battle droids knocking them all down)
Anakin: Come on you guys!! lets take out these Battle Droids!!
(all of the jedi turn on their lightsabers and destroy everything in their path)
(Suddenly c3p0 walks in switched around on another droid) (cough) bad comic relief (cough)
C3P0: HAHAH!!! I'm in such pain and agony its so funny!! watch me suffer!!!
(a random weird looking jedi runs up to c3p0)
Jedi: Hey I'm a weird looking jedi whose gonna push you over and smile about it! (force pushes c3p0 to the ground)
(suddenly everyone stops fighting, the clone troopers and everyone else all stare)
(there is a sudden silence)
Everyone: BWAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
(suddenly it started to snow....)
Yoda: Oh my.. Christmas time it is.. time of forgiving it should be. Sorry am I.. for being angry..
Dooku: I'm sorry I betrayed the Jedi order!!
and killed several hundreds of jedi knights.. (the clone troopers and the battle droids all cry and start to hug)
Padme: Come on everyone lets do some caroling!!
Everyone: Silent night.. holy night.. all is calm.. all is bright!
(but then suddenly!!....

 

Padme: *FLAAAAARRRRPPPP*

All you need is love!

 

Anakin(at the top of his lungs): WAIT!!!!!!!!
ObiWan: What is it?
Anakin: We can't just do a street fight like this. We need order.
Dooku: How so, young one?
QuiGon: I believe he is right.
Anakin: Well, we need knives and pistols and the such.
( they sit down and have a 30 minute discussion)
Nute Gunray: You idiot, when that kid yelled wait, all of the battle droids stopped fighting, then the jedi killed them all while they stared in aww. He was just wasting time.
Anakin: Correct you are (kills Gunray)
Dooku: AHAHAHAHAHAH, oh, that's a good one. I'll give you that.
...

 

(All of the jedi and dooku hijack one of the clone ships and go visit camino)

Taun-We: You again, I thought I told you to------
Dooku: HAHAHAHAHA.
(They run into the main room and have a party)
Padme: Hey guys, you know what would be the best fun of all?
All: What?
Padme: If we paid a visit to the senate.
All: Woohoo!!!
(They all go to coruscant, then they use high explosives to blow the door off of the senate floor)
ObiWan: HAHAHAHAH
(All the jedi, dooku, droids, clones run in and begin killing senators.)
(Yoda tells the clone carrier ship to fly into the city and begin shooting buildings)
...

 

Yoda: (his eyes staring like a madman) Now Podracing this is!!!! HEheherheer!!
QuiGon: Your alright Yoda.
Yoda: I sense a very bad disturbance..
All: What is it?
Yoda: Sequel there will be!!!
All: Why is that bad?
Yoda: We all have to wait 3 years!!
All: Whats this sh**??!
Yoda: PARTY in the senate we will yes!!!
(cuts to them hijacking all of the floating pods and racing across the Coruscant night sky)
Anakin: WOOHOO!!!! Lets destroy naboo guys!!
Obiwan: HAHA!! Good call my young padawan!!!
(cuts to Dooku meeting with Palpatine)
Dooku: the force is with us master..
Palpatine: you moron.. you destroyed everything.. and you caused the clone wars..
(suddenly all of the jedi and clones appear in front of Palpatine)
Anakin: I knew you were behind all of this Dooku!!!!!
Palpatine: Yes he is the evil one.. kill him.
Dooku: What?! i'll get you for this!!
(dooku flies away)
Anakin: What the?! he can fly?!
All: of course he can! hes Superman!!
Palpatine: Now lets go on to business Anakin.. I mean.. Darth Vader.

 

ObiWan: Anakin and I will get Dooku
Yoda: Okay, amuse ourselves, with this bounty-hunter ship of jango's, we will.
(Obi-Wan and Anakin fly away)
Mace: How did they fly, master Yoda?
Yoda: Force push I gave them, know about it they do not. Run out when they least expect it.
(Gets in Jango's ship and flies it like jet through the cuty. Shooting buildings, other speeders, and releasing seismic charges into the buildings.)
Yoda: HAHAHAHAHA
Mace: what about ObiWan and Anakin.
Yoda: Who?
Mace: Those guys
Yoda: Oh, they'll be fine. I have forseen it.
Mace: I thought you said that the darkside clouds all
Yoda: I did
Mace: But you just said that you saw the future
Yoda: So?
Mace: Whatever,... Lets go kill people
Yoda: First makes sense thing said you have
(they run through the crowded street killing people)
Vender: Want to buy some death sticks:
Yoda: Sure, give me 5000
Vender: Okay
Yoda: Here, you jedi, take these
(10 jedi come over and eat the death sticks. They all drop dead)
Yoda: AAAHAHAHAHA, look on their faces, you sould have seen
Mace: Master Yoda, look, bombs
Yoda: Waiting for what are you, throw them at people
Clone Commander: My forces have assembled
Yoda: Very good, concentrate all fire on nearest building, then nex nearest, then so on and so forth.
Droid Commander: Yoda, my forces have also assembled and are awaiting orders
Palpatine: Hey, you guys are supposed to listen to me
Yoda: Upshut Palpy (pulls out pistol and shoots him)
...

 

Palpatine: GAH! you haven't seen the last of me!! I'm on House Wives Choice tomorrow!!!
Mace: Your always on House Wives Choice foo!!! (bitch slaps Palps)
(cuts back to Dooku flying away like Superman with Anakin and Obiwan catching up)
Anakin: WOOHOO!!!
Obiwan: Now do you see why I don't flying!!
Anakin: What did you say?! go higher?!
Obiwan: NO!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!
(anakin turns the ship higher into the air)
Obiwan: I'm so gonna ****in kill you after this battle!!!!
Anakin: Don't say that master, your like a father to me.
Obiwan: And your like a mother to me..
Anakin: .....what?!
Obiwan: oops I mean.. umm...look over there! (bitch slaps anakin to sleep)
(suddenly obiwan sees Dooku stealing the dancing Mango)
Obiwan: BASTARD!! NOWS HES GONE TOO FAR!!!

 

Anakin: I'll get our mango
ObiWan: Good
Dooku: Goodbye (tosses mango into the ship's engines, the ship crashes making a huge crater)
Anakin: NOOOOOO!!!
ObiWan: He got away, and our mango is dead. I reckon he'll fly all the way back to Geonosis.

 

Everyone returns to Geonosis to get Dooku
PADME: 38...

39...

40...

41...
ANAKIN: Padme, what the **** you doin' girl???
PADME: Ani, I met four more Jedi.
ANAKIN: What??? What is it with you and Jedi?
PADME: Don't forget Sith. They're just plain naughty. 6 Sith, 33 Jedi, 1 very very lucky Senator, and you.
ANAKIN: Oh.
OBI-WAN: We must find Dooku, Anakin!
ANAKIN: Hang on, master, I'm being .... er...educated.
PADME: Be quiet Ani and I'll teach you how to ****!
ANAKIN: Whoa!
PADME: OMG, a Jedi I haven't met yet!

42!
ANAKIN: Wha? ::groans::

 

obi-wan: *slurp*
Anakin: SHUT-UP!

All you need is love!

 

(the Geonosians come out of their catacombs, seeing all of the clone troopers and jedi flying back)
Nute: Just what the hell is going on here?!
(dooku flys down to Nute Gunray)
Nute: Why are you wearing that blue suit.. wait a minute your not...
Dooku: Superman? Yes.
Nute: Oh boy I'm confused.
Anakin: Confuse this Gunray!! (chops poor Gunray up into shiscabob)
Obiwan: Okay Anakin we're back in the hangar scene.. now lets do it right this time.. eh? huh?! (looks over to see anakin already fighting Dooku)
Obiwan: This sucks!
Anakin: (gets zapped by dooku) ****!!
Obiwan: HAHA!! my turn!!
(jumps toward Dooku, but Dooku shocks him back)
Dooku: Sorry old friend.. its my turn.
(dooku is about to stab him when suddenlu Mace Windu, Yoda and 6 Clone Troopers come running in to save the day)
Dooku: I'm screwed!
Yoda: Hell yes you are!!
(now a complicating battle happens, the clone troopers begin to blast at dooku, who flips and blocks their laser blasts, while flipping around fighting Yoda and Mace Windu at the same time)
Mace: (grins) You like my podracing motha ****a?!
Dooku: (scared as sh**) umm take this!! (throws a thermal detatnator at Windu)
(but Windu blocks)
Clone: God.. this guy won't die!!
Dooku: Need you forget I'm Superman!
Yoda: No your not!!
Dooku: Okay maybe not.. but I can take ... (cuts up the clone troopers) ON... (battles Yoda and Windu, but force pushes windu out of the way) ALL.... (kicks yoda) OF...!! (is about to stab them all when suddenly Padme comes running in to save the day)
Dooku: (tired) *****N ***T GOD MOTHA ****ER!! When will this battle end??!!
Padme: Not until I have YOUR HEAD on my desk Dooku!!