GAME: Reconstruct Attack of the Clones!!

Dooku: I don't think so sweet cheeks!
Padme: Why does everyone keep saying that?!
(all of the jedi laying on the ground wounded are shown staring at Padmes ripped pants)
Padme: Oh right.. part of my pants got ripped off.. (rolls eyes) thats been happening all day...
Dooku: Well.. its time to see if your as good at fighting as you are in bed!!
Padme: Ugh!! thats the last straw!! (picks up anakins lightsaber)
(padme ignites the lightsaber)
(dooku and padme clash)
Dooku: Padme you disapoint me... Master Yoda holds you such high esteem.
Padme: I never did Yoda.. Oh wait yes I did.
Anakin: Oh for the love of..
Dooku: HA! Perhaps you could DO better?! HAHAH!!
Padme: Shut up Saruman!
Dooku: Oh crap.. Wait..umm no i'm not... i'm...
Padme: Dracula?
Dooku: Yes drac.. HEY!! (clashes lightsabers)
Padme: I'm tired of this sh** Dooku. Lets end it now.
Dooku: Alright.. Wheres Jango when I need him?!
(jango comes walking over)
Jango: Yes?
Dooku: I thought you were dead.
Jango: It was only a flesh wound!!
Dooku: I see...
Jango: HEY!! the battles over!! ****! what happened?!
Dooku: Never mind.. help me take care of her.
Jango: But Padme.. shes so hot! (waves: Hey)
Padme: (giggles)
Dooku: Yes yes. I know.. But..we must take her out.
Jango: Well.. a jobs a job.
Padme: HA! I got someone better than that!
Dooku: Oh yea? Who?!
Padme: Dancing Mango!
(dancing mango hops right in)
Mango: I'm so gonna OWN all of your asses!
Dooku: (gulps) Oh sh**!
(jango flys away)
Jango: Your on your own!
Padme: Get Jango, Mango!
Mango: Piece of cake!
(Mango dances LaCooKaratcha, Jango looks down and decides to join in in the dance)
Jango: This is fun!
Mango: HAHA!! fooled you!! (slices Jangos head off)

 

ANAKIN: Whoa whoa whoa: you did Jango, Saruman, AND Dracula!?!?!?!??!
PADME: Oh, yeah, you're right. 45.
ANAKIN: ::groans::
OBI-WAN: ::slurp::
ANAKIN: Shut Up!
DOOKU: Hea Ha! It's been me all along!
ANAKIN: Huh?
DOOKU: Surprise! ::Rips off clothes::
EVERYBODY: Ewwwwwwww!
PADME: Whoa, I don't remember that!
ANAKIN: What?!
DOOKU: Oops...um, here let me try again:
Surprise! I'm Barney!
YODA: Up Shut, you will Nosferatu! Barney, you are not!
DOOKU: Yes I am!
YODA: Not you are!
DOOKU: Yes I am!
YODA: Not you are!
DOOKU: Yes I am!
YODA: Not you are!
DOOKU: Yes I am!
YODA: Not you are!
ANAKIN: Shut Up! Now, Padme, what's this about you're pants?
PADME: Umm, they seem to have...come off! Oooo-oh, there goes my shirt....ummm...
ALL FORCE-USERS: Ummm... ::everyone has been waving their hands, using force to undress her::
PADME: ::giggles::
ALL FORCE USERS: :: put hands down::
PADME: hmmmmm.... :: waves hand, all force-users clothes drop::
ALL FORCE USERS: whoa...you're force sensitive??
PADME: No, I'm **** sensitive. Never underestimate the power of the motha ****a!
ALL FORCE USERS: Whoa...
PADME: Ok, everyone, line up!
ANAKIN: I'm first! I'm the chosen one!
PADME: I'm truly, deeply tired of you and that ******* phrase. And before I **** everyone else, I want you to know. Now get lost, little boy with a big lightsaber!
Next!
MANGO: I'm next!
PADME: Hmm..mango!
OBI-WAN: Anakin!
ANAKIN: Umm..not now, master!
OBI-WAN: Why not!
ANAKIN: Busy, master! Padme said I could have a turn. You're holding me back! Some day, I'll have the biggest lightsaber ever!

-------------

ANAKIN: Padme, will you become my knife? Will you bury me? Can I have your hand in a carriage?
PADME: WTF!!!?? Shut up AnakiN!
ANAKIN: You won't marry me?
PADME:No. Sorry, Luke and Leia can happen another time. I'm busy.
ANAKIN: But Pahahadme....puh-leeeeez (whiney voice)
PADME: No. I guess George will have to set up the story of another girl in three more movies for you.
ANAKIN: What???
PADME: Shut up, Anakin.
ANAKIN: Ok... ::force picks up Padme, puts her in the air::
ALL FORCE USERS: ::wave hands, bring her back down for more
ANAKIN: ::sniff:: nobody likes me!
PADME: Get in line, buster.

 

(6 hours later ..the orgy is finished)
(they all are shown sitting and laying around in the Hangar room)
Dooku: that was fun!
QuiGon: Hey! Get up everyone! We've got some explosions to do!!
Dooku: I'd better go everyone. See ya all later.
Anakin: Hey.. shouldn't we stop him?
Obiwan: Okay.. heres a good chance for a fight.. (Obiwan and Anakin drag themselves over to Dooku)
(dooku looks down at them)
Dooku: BAHAHAHAH!!!!! You have got to be joking!
Obiwan: Nope! (jumps up and drop kicks Dooku in the stomach)
(Anakin springs up, force grabs Dookus lightsaber and uses 2 lightsabers in one hand)
Dooku: Holy sh**!!!
ObiwanAndQuiGon: HAHAHAH!! Stupid Sith Bastard!!
(padme comes in)
Padme: Phew.. I'm tired.. hey! (yawns) You guys are still fighting?!
Dooku: Anakin.. don't kill me.. I have the Rubber Ducky of the Republic!!!
Anakin: WHAT!!? Where?!
Dooku: Right here. (pulls it out)
Yoda: (huge eyes and stares) Looking for that we have been.. for some time.
Anakin: (grabs it) So um what does it do?
Dooku: Its symbolism.. it doesn't have powers STUPID.
Anakin: Why you son of a.. (cuts up Dooku)
Yoda: HUH?! Kill him you weren't suppose to!!
Dooku: HA!! Fooled You!! that was my clone!!!! (runs into his ship which flies away)
QuiGon: HAHAHAH!!!!!! You guys are SO stupid!!
Yoda: Blind we are... Clones everywhere.. confused as hell I am.
Padme: So whats going on?!
Anakin: Agh! I wish I knew!
Obiwan: I have to admit.. without the clones it would not have been a victory.
Yoda: VICTORY?!! (kicks Obiwan in the crotch) VICTORY YOU SAY?!

 

Yoda: Master Obiwan.. NOT VICTORY!!! The shroud of the darkside has fallen.. Begun the clone war has... Going to hell we are in the next one.
Mace: HAHAH! You be kidding Yoda!!
Yoda: Kid you I do not.. Die in the next one you will.. its for certain.
Mace: SAY WHAT?!
Yoda: Hell.. Most of the Jedi died in this one.
Obiwan: Oh man..
Mace: Yo man.. wheres your apprentice?
Obiwan: Bangin Senator Amidala on Naboo.
Mace: I see...Damn I wish I was him right now.
Yoda: Me too..
Mace: I think we should keep a closer eye on the Senate..
Yoda: I agree!!!
(cuts to Dooku meeting up with Darth Sidious on Coruscant)
Dooku: The force is with us.. Master Sidious.
Sidious: Welcome home Lord Tyrannus.. I suspect you have those Death Star plans?
Dooku: Never heard of them.
Sidious: Curious.
Dooku: Yea.. in fact.. I believe I lost them..
Sidious: (stares at Dooku) Oh.. ok.. You have done well.. everything is going as planned.
Dooku: Actually it isn't.. I'm tired as hell.. let me rest.
Sidious: HEY! Come on Dooku! We were going to play tennis!
Dooku: But..
Sidious: You promised!
Dooku: Oh alright...
Sidious: Thats right bitch! and your gonna enjoy it too!
Dooku: (says to himself: I wish Yoda would've killed me.)
(cuts back to the Hangar)
Yoda: Sh**!! The ending its almost!!
(they all board the Republic Cruisers)
(cuts to Palpatine and everyone else watching the Clone Troopers boarding their ships on Coruscant)
(cuts to Padme and Anakin getting married on Naboo)
Padme: I have an idea I'm gonna divorce your ass in 3 years..
Anakin: First you wanna kill me.. now you wanna kiss me.. BLOW!
Padme: WHAT?!
Anakin: (grins) Give me some sugar baby.
(they are shown all dramatic like, and kiss, next to them are r2d2 and c3p0 all repaired.. oops.. should'nt have said that..)
(qui gon's spirit chops them up)
(shows Qui Gon looking at them getting married)
QuiGon: Aww...How sweet... (looks to the camera) But you know whats sweeter? (grins and puts on his sunglasses) I get to control the Clones!!! Oh yea baby!! DETOE-NATE!
(cuts back to Palpatine watching the clones in that tall building)
(it suddenly explodes)
Palpatine: Ah sh**!!
(cuts back to Qui Gon)
QuiGon: God I'll never get tired of this!! (Qui Gon wipes tear away)

The End.

 

The ending credits roll by, at the end all of the jedi come out and stand on the steps of the jede temple waving their hands. Then we hear Yoda say "Y'all come back now, ya' hear"