Beyond - Legends Get Off Her - Luke S. and Ben S.

Get Off Her!

By: Noel

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, but I like to write about it.
Summary: Luke gives Ben the Talk.


Mara was looking forward to taking a nap that afternoon. It had been a long, trying day and she needed some rest. 'If only Luke were here.' He would sooth her tension away with a massage or possibly more. But alas, he wasn't due home until tomorrow.

She was getting old and knew it. It seemed like yesterday that Ben was born. He would be seventeen soon. Seventeen. Where did the time go? It was funny though. While the birth of her son seemed like yesterday, the end of the Vong war seemed like ages ago. Time passed differently for different people and experience altered perceptions.

She opened the door to the Skywalker home and was greeted by Artoo. "Hi little guy. Is Ben home yet?" She knew he had been out with some his friends today while she was teaching.

Artoo replied that he was. Mara went to the kitchen to make a cup of hot chocolate. Luke had converted her to the drink years ago. It warmed her and nearly all of her tension left. She decided to just nap on the couch since dinner had to be made soon and if she went to her bed she would never be able to get up.

Walking over to the couch she spotted Ben's jacket and boots. 'Ben, how many times have I told you not to just throw things on the floor as soon as you walk in the door?' She picked up the jacket for what was probably the millionth time in Ben's life and went to his room to hang it back up in his closet, also for the millionth time.

Her hand was almost on the doorknob when she paused. There were soft sounds coming from the room. It sounded suspiciously like there was someone else in the room with him. She took a deep breath, prayed to all the gods in the universe that she wouldn't find what she thought she would find, and opened the door.

"Ben Skywalker! Get off her this instant!" It wasn't as bad as she feared, but it was still bad. Her 'innocent' little boy had a girl in his room and they were lying on the bed in the middle of a serious kissing session. Thankfully no clothing had been removed.

Ben looked up at her in horror at being caught. The girl, who Mara recognized as Kari Wyn, scrambled out from under him. "Hi, Mrs. Skywalker. You're looking nice today," Kari improvised. "Did you get you hair cut again? It looks lovely. Umm..I gotta go now." She practically ran from the room. "It was nice seeing you again. Bye." Mara heard the front door closing.

Now she was alone with her son. 'Why? Why did this have to happen today?' Ben was now standing in front of her. Enunciating very carefully she said, "What was that?"

He put up his hands in a very Solo gesture, "Mom, we were just studying."

"Studying what? Her tonsils? I came home hoping to relax and what do I get? You know you're not allowed to have girls in your room. Especially when we're not here." Ben was silent. "Well? What do you have to say?"

"How was I supposed to know you'd be home before dinnertime?" Ben mentally smacked himself. 'Idiot. You just told her that you knowingly broke the rules.'

She was amazed she hadn't throttled her boy yet. "Since for some reason your father loves you and wants you to have a future I'm going to forget you said that."

Knowing she had to calm down to talk sense to Ben she took another deep breath. Now more calm and rational, she sat down on the bed and looked at her blue-eyed wonder. "Is there anything that we need to discuss?"

"What? No!" Ben looked terrified.

Undaunted, Mara continued, "How far has this thing with Kari gone?"

"There's nothing," Ben sputtered. "It's not a 'thing'."

"All I know is that I came home to my son tongue wrestling with a girl like there's not going to be a tomorrow. I want to know what's going on with you."

"I'm not going to discuss my sex life with my mother."

By the time Mara came back to Courscant and reality Ben had fled the apartment. 'Sex Life??!!'

~~~~~~~~~~

After much useless pleading with his wife Luke consented to have a 'talk' with h

 

LOL! That was great! I loved the part where Ben shocks Mara by mentioning his "sex life"! Very cute and realistic, although I hope my son doesn't say anything like that to me!

Jae Angel

 

He he he....that was really cute!! Loved the HI references! I wonder if they'll ever do that in the books....Luke giving Ben 'the talk', I mean...Anyway, I loved it! I hope I never catch my future children like Mara caught Ben!!

~JMJ

 

spare me the lecture about 'protective hull plating.'

Loved this!!!!!!!!!!!

We don't have a lot of Ben Skywalker here methinks...

 

Narundi: Thanks. I sure hope he doesn?t say anything like that.

JMJ: I?m glad you liked the HI stuff. I just love that show.

C3SoloPO: No, we don?t have a lot of Ben Skywalker stuff. But that?s ok, he?s still new.

 

*snort*

That was cute!

 

Uh oh. It's The Talk! Wonderful fic, joy_noel. Loved the way you wrote Ben. AKA the typical teenager.

 

I thought i reconised the plot!!I think it was the oldest one(of the sons) got caught making out with a girl on his bed, by his mum, and the dad (he's on this battleship, that has this Jet thingy on it) gets a call from her, and he pushes the handle and the ship the sound barrier, or something like that.That was so funny, it totally works for Star Wars.

nina

 

*clamps hand over mouth so her laughter does not wake everyone in the house up*

That was funny. Poor Mara, walking into that and then having her teenager son say that. Hehee.

I read this off your website. I am glad I now get to comment on it.

 

I remember this at the yahoo boards, and I still think it's funny.

You know you're not allowed to have girls in your room. Especially when we're not here."

What's not especially funny is that I have delivered this exact same quote to my sons!

 

LOL This is hilarious!!!! 'nuff said. lol Great job!
Exact quote Jedi-2B? Uh...enough said right? lol

 

Awesome job on that joy_noel! That was absolutely hilarious!!

*LtJS*

 

"Since for some reason your father loves you and wants you to have a future I'm going to forget you said that."

You go Mara!

*scans it quickly*

Oh boy......

I'm really not looking forword to the "talk".

*grimaces*

 

Jedi Master Kobe: Thank you. I like thinking of Ben being typical. His parents certainly aren?t typical.

Nina: I love taking things from pop culture and working them into the GFFA.

JM: Oh, cool! You read it from my site. I?ve been meaning to post my stuff here too for awhile now. Glad you liked it.

 

That was so good!!!

 

Good use of the Home Improvement episode. I loved the image of Mara baking How are the mighty fallen

"Studying what? Her tonsils? Classic.

I've been through this experience three times - it's beginning to get like deja vu! But I think it's a case of what comes around goes around

Great story!

 

Ben did the smart thing when he made that remark - activated his hyperdrive and got out of there like a hawkbat out of hell. Maybe this could be the template to similar stories. As in Han and Leia having this talk with their children, or even Tionne having this talk with Tahiri, since they're relationship is practically mother and daughter.

 

That was umm... funny sorry early morning doesn't agree with me. Oh I loved it Ben... Studying her tonsils, only Mara.

 

Definitely caught the Home Improvement parallels.

YubYub and TG- Protecting fangirls from hormonally gifted fanboys since 2002

 

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh Ben!!! Learn some tact! Wait... he's a teenage boy....

too great!!!!

 

'And when you do drive it you want to think about protective hull plating.' Brilliant! LOL! Very nice fic...

Anna

 

I just got that hull plateing. Hey we have plenty of tact... we just don't use it all the time.

 

OMG LMAO! I almost fell of my chair! LOL

Studying what? Her tonsils? OMG that was funny!

great story! VERY enjoyable!