Beyond - Legends give me purpose a tale of a Jedi/ son of kulamaand who has no clue to where he is in life) au (j/tk)

Give me purpose?(The reason there are few sentences in this fiction is because that is how the sons of kulamaand talk with little punctuation) (Note: the only part of this story I own are the sons of kulamaand and the characters that are not owned/ published)

Where am I in life?, I am a son of kulamaand and a Jedi my people have exiled me, the Jedi call me a traitor there is only one person I can trust in the Jedi?jacen and one son of kulamaand? kuttut these where my thoughts whenever the Jedi children hurled there frustration at me via the force I refrained from using my tutt at them (it?s similar to a lightsaber except it can hurl the blade part like a javelin)
The Jedi hate me because of my ability to trick the brain into feeling immense amount of pain on a targeted life form a rare son of kulamaand gift, the son of kulamaand hate me because I was a Jedi
There is a son of kulamaand poem that goes I walk a lonely path on the avenue of lost souls I walk alone, the force is the only one who walks beside me when I breed my child will be better then me (my species has a extremely fast pace of evolution (one ?update? per generation)) so, anyways where was I o right wait? I didn?t give you my name it is to tell you the truth I don?t know what to call me any more well my given name is tuntut or ?tun? for short it all started when I was 13 I was raised by my mother and father (my father hates me now) (my mother died) then Luke skywalker came and using a Jedi mind trick took me away this convinced my people that the Jedi where nothing but trouble (we don?t believe in evil we use both the light and dark side of the force) I was of the same class of the solo twins I never really thought much about Jedi friends, I still dreamed about kuttut, (at that point we were engaged). As time went by I realized that I was a better swordsman then the rest of the Jedi I used the unorthodox I could cause them to collapse for a few seconds and then fall down on them with a deadly slash. Soon I was able to beat Luke in a duel I was an apprentice to holocrons, that of mace windu the best Jedi swordsman ever he knew when to fight and how to fight I also learned from a holocron of Aayla Secura, she was a master of stealth but that?s beside the point now. This is my story, on my holocron if you reading this then that means you are my heir, the new high warrior priest. Now lets get back to the timeline?

Fin? of chapter 1a

 

dose any one have any sugestions

 

any one... fine i guess i'll have to be patient till i die

 

jedijethro, you've written an interesting piece, but you might want to consider a beta to help you clean up your work.

For example? you have:

If I were betaing for you, I'd make it look something like this:

Now, I'm not quite certain what you mean by "?the son of kulamaand hate me because I was a Jedi[" because it seems like a contradiction in comparison with "?I can trust in the Jedi?jacen and one son of kulamaand."

I'm not sure if I'm simply misreading it or whatnot, but that's what I saw.

If you'd like a beta, check the Beta Reader Index.

KT

 

i found a beta! ill get this cleaned up as fast as the millenium falcon