Glove of Vader rewrite fanfic Chapter 1

"Oh my, this is most distressing," C-3PO moaned as Alliance technicians removed his golden covering. Underneath, he was nothing but struts, servos and wires.
The protocol droid's counterpart, R2-D2, watched the proceedings. The squat droid had already gone through his own "skin-change" and now had a green body with white panels. He crooned in encouragement to Threepio.
"I know it doesn't hurt, you overturned garbage recepticle. It's just not right. I won't be myself anymore. It's.....disturbing."
Artoo twittered a question.
"No, I don't think you look wonderful." Threepio answered, annoyed that Artoo seemed to be enjoying this.
Artoo blooped and bleeped, reminding Threepio that at least he wouldn't be mistaken for C-3PX anymore. "Oh please don't remind me of that awful droid," C-3PO groaned. C-3PX had been an assassin droid designed to look like a golden protocol droid very similar to C-3PO. The two counterparts had run afoul of him when Threepio had been blamed for some of 3PX's actions some years before.
The techs had completed removing C-3PO's covering. Artoo emitted a series of high pitched bleeps. "Oh, grow up!" 3PO snapped. "I didn't laugh at you when you went through this indignity."
The now-green astromech droid beeped and twittered. "Now, what is that supposed to mean?" the now 'naked' droid demanded sourly. "'Reminds you of when we first met'? We met in our initial service to the Antilles family. There is nothing about this to remind you of that." R2-D2 warbled. "Naked?" C-3PO exclaimed. "When we first met? I think not."
Artoo warbled something else. "Oh no you don't," Threepio said angrily. "Do not start up on that 'built by Master Luke's father' nonsense again! If I had been built by Darth Vader, I would know about it." The techs sent each other questioning looks, then shrugged and smiled. "On top of that, I was built one hundred and seventeen years ago. Master Luke's father wasn't even alive then. Honestly! I don not know where you come up with these stories. I suppose next you'll be telling me the one about the time where I supposedly led a droid rebellion, or the one where you saved a planet by switching your pilot's weapons over to torpedoes when he was pointed at an engine core. What utter nonsense!"
The techs began to install Threepio with the shell of a shiny red protocol droid. "Red just isn't my color," he groaned in dismay.
The astromech droid blooped a query.
"Why, gold is obviously," C-3PO rudely answered. "As well it should be. With a silver leg of course."
Luke Skywalker walked into the workshop as the techs finished up C-3PO's new covering. "Great job, guys" Luke said to the techs. "No Imperial would ever suspect they were actually looking at the famous R2-D2 and C-3PO."
"Thank you, Commander," one of the techs replied. "As of now, there is no more R2-D2 or C-3PO." Threepio moaned. The tech ignored him. "Say hello to R2-B4 and TK-69." Artoo twittered excitedly while Threepio shook his head in despair.
"If I may say so, Sir, I've never had any desire to visit the Imperial Military Academy, and I am not thrilled to give up my own skin to do so. Are there no actual spy droids available for this mission?"
"Why Threepio!" Luke feigned shock. "You two are actual spy droids."
"We are?!" Threepio asked, surprised.
"Of course. Two of the best spy droids the Allian...excuse me...the New Republic has. Who were the spies who brought the plans for the Death Star from the Tantive IV to the Alliance? What spies infiltrated Jabba the Hutt's palace to help rescue rebel hero Han Solo? What spies wandered around the Death Star itself while it was on security alert and helped their companions escape from there? Why, Threepio, how can you doubt you are a spy droid?"
"In most of those instances, Master Luke, it was R2-D2, mostly, who did all of the actual illicit activities. Perhaps it would be best if I were to remain behind this time."
Luke put his arm over C-3PO's shoulder. "Well, then,

 

What needs to be added;
-A more conventional hiding place for Ken; I don't think he can be written out entirely, but it'd be nice if he had a normal life.
-The Moffs are military men. They shouldn't just swallow the Prophets' hocus-pocus.
-A scene establishing the Isard-Zorba link.

What needs to be removed;
-One eye each from Triclops and Trioculus!
-The "mofference."
-Zorba's hair- Hutts look stupid with padawan braids!
-You've already removed the Mount Yoda base, so why not have them end up where XWRS started?

 

Originally posted by Opie Wan Cannoli:
What needs to be added;
-A more conventional hiding place for Ken; I don't think he can be written out entirely, but it'd be nice if he had a normal life.
If I include him, I probably will also include a lost city. What were your idea?

-A scene establishing Isard-Zorba link.
I'm still wondering how she got him to go after Trioculus/Prophets.

What needs to be removed;
-One eye each from Triclops and Trioculus!
The name Trioculus wouldn't make much sense then, besides I kinda like his third eye. Triclops, on the other hand, if I keep the character, I can change his name and get rid of the extra eye.

-The "mofference."
-Zorba's hair- Hutts look stupid with padawan braids!
Those almost went without saying.

-You've already removed the Mount Yoda base, so why not have them end up where XWRS started?
Maybe, but Rogue Squadron doesn't start for another year and a half after this story. And for the record, I haven't gotten rid of Mount Yoda, I got rid of Yavin 4. I will get rid of Dagobah, it just hasn't happened yet.

 

Top!

 

I'll post a little more, but if I get no responses, I guess nobody's interested and I'll stop posting.

On the city-world Imperial Center, known elsewhere as Coruscant, deep within the bowels of the city, far away from windows and other distractions, two figures watch the hologram of Kadann making his prophecy. "...The Glove of Darth Vader!" the hologram finished then disappeared. The man, standing in a gray Commander's uniform, turned to the sitting woman, dressed in the distinctive red uniform of the head of Imperial Security.
"I notice that he kept using the masculine pornoun in regards to this new leader," the man said.
Ysanne Isard nodded subtly. Her eyes, one fiery red, the other icy blue, flashed dangerously. "Kadann is using the Imperial dislike of women in positions of authority against me. It is the only weapon he truly has. The moffs and fleet commanders are not interested in prophecy, they care only about who has the power to hold the Empire together. They will not follow somebdoy just because he has some glove."
"The words of the Prophets used to carry some weight...."
Isard laughed chillingly. "Back when Palpatine fed them what to say. Everybody knows that. They claim that they predicted the destruction of both Death Stars, but were unable to tell anybody since the Death Stars were classified at the highest levels. Laughable revisionist history. The Prophets have no actual ability with the Dark Side. Any acolyte of the Emperor's who actually had any measure of power whatsoever has disappeared into the Core. Just like most of your fellow Guardsmen, Tierce. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
Grodin Tierce shook his head, maintaining a perfect poker face. Changing the subject, he asked. "What if somebody with power claims to have Vader's glove?"
"You mean the Grand Moffs. Oh they will try that. The Grand Moffs are in a perfect position to take advantage of that prophecy, especially with what I know they have up their sleeves. But their power is not as great as they think. I will be making sure that the Committee, the Prophets and the Rebels with their ridiculous SPIN are so busy interfering with each other, that I'll be free to crush my opponents before they even know I was aware of them."

******

He was angry. Very angry indeed. Life hadn't been so terribly bad in prison before. Though he had lost all his money and power, he was still his son's father, which had meant something here. True, his son had been the one who had taken his power and put him in prison, but that was what sons do. He had been feared and respected because of who his son was. A son may put his father in prison, but if anybody else were to mess with the father, heavens help them. But now the other prisoners laughed at him, derided him. He had lost all influence. They said his son was dead. He couldn't believe it, but nobody would have been brave enough to mess with him if his son had indeed still been alive.
He had a new determination to get out of this place, then make the killers of his son pay. He may have hated his son, but he was the only being in the galaxy who had to right to kill him. Family watches out for its own. Plus, his son's killers had made this past year a hell. Hutts may not know anything of love, but they certainly know revenge.....

 

ITS AAAAAA-LLLLIIIIIIVE!!

Have you considered a fake third eye for the Trioculus impersonator? Sorry, the name doesn't make sense anyway...even Palpy wouldn't name a kid after his disfigurement.(Then again, look at what Leia named her youngest...)

 

Is anybody actually reading this other than Opie Wan? (I'm glad one person's enjoying it, but I don't want to keep wasting bandwidth if nobody is really interested)

 

Hey no! Keep going.

It's a dirty, nasty job, but someone has to do it.

Perhaps Trioculus should have a scar across his forehead... or a 'sith tatoo' in the shape of an eye - symbolising his supposed Force powers, etc....

-McEwok

 

...or maybe he's a mutant with three eyes. If I get rid of his stupid attitude about his third eye making him superior, would you guys be more willing to except it?

Some more....

C-3PO was extraordinarily glad that he wasn't an organic being at the moment. If he had been, whatever meal he would have consumed last would be forcing its way back up his would-be throat post-haste. The 'escape pod' which was barelling down towards Carida was never meant for organic use and thus lacked such niceties as life support, dampened inertia, or indepedent gravity. Thus he and R2-D2 felt the full effects of the meteorite's spinning. The pod was also too small for one human sized organic to fit comfortably, much less two droids. The two of them were jammed tightly together, unable to move. The only advantage to this transport was that there were no portals, so Threepio didn't have to see the planet's surface looming up at them, getting closer and closer too fast for comfort.
With a jolt, the droids felt the meteorite pod hit the planet's upper atmosphere. "Oh no," Threepio wailed. "I'm sure they forgot to install heat shielding! We're doomed." Artoo blatted in response.
"Don't tell me to shut up, you overweight glob of grease!" the protocol droid replied. The astromech bleeped. "I don't care if I've used that one before," C-3PO retorted. "It still applies."
Despite Threepio's fears, the pod had indeed been installed with heat shielding and plunged safely down through the atmosphere. The insides of the pod shaked, shivered and rattled as it was buffeted by the atmosphere and wind on the way down. At every stage, the red droid bemoaned some new doom that would claim the pair. But the New Republic technicians had known what they were doing, and a short while before the pod crashed into the planet, a set of microrepulsors activated, slowing their descent enough that when they did impact, they bounced roughly a few times, instead of smashing open against the landscape.
When the meteorite pod finally came to rest on its side and C-3PO wondered how they would get out, a hatched opened on the side below them, unceremoniously dumping the two droids out. It took the pair several minutes to get disentangled from each other. They had scarcely succeeded in doing that and moving away from the pod, when, with about as much noise as a shed collapsing, the pod fell to pieces.
C-3PO looked around to see if anybody noticed the noises. They were in the middle of a hilly region riddled with holes and craters. There was a river off to the right, but no sign of anybody else around. R2-D2 pointed out that if somebody was around to hear that, they certainly wouldn't have failed to notice the meteorite crashing into the planet.
"Well, I suppose that's true," Threepio conceded, "But how did they manage to put us down where we wouldn't be noticed?"
Artoo told him. "Wargames zone!" Threepio cried. "What if there were a wargame going on?! What if there IS a wargame going on right now?!" Artoo explained that with the gathering of dignitaries occuring at the Military Citadel, all training and wargames have been postponed. "Well I'm certainly glad of that!" C-3PO exclaimed.
The astromech droid began trundling off in a direction. "Where are you going?" Threepio snapped. Artoo beeped and warbled. "What makes you think there are settlements in that direction?" The squat droid responded with a series of electronic noises. "I know they installed you with maps, but how do you know that you're headed south? And no, you were not right on Tatooine. You never found a settlement, only Jawas. Which I found first as I recall." Artoo ignored him and continued to trundle along. Threepio looked around, and deciding that one direction was as good as any other, followed along.
The way was tough going, especially for R2-D2, having to move around rocks, craters, and pieces of shrapnel that littered the zone. He beeped and warbled in what sounded like a whine. "Yes, I know you miss your rocket boosters," C-3PO replied. Over the years, the astromech

 

Many hours later, the terrain didn't look any different. "Are you sure you know where we're going, you hyperactive mess of circuits?" Threepio demanded. R2-D2 blatted a raspberry in response. "How completely typical," Threepio muttered. A few ridges later, C-3PO thought he saw a line further on that might be a fence, and a dark spot in the middle of the fence straight ahead that might be a gatehouse. "At last," Threepio moaned.
As they approached the gatehouse, for that was indeed what it was, a stormtrooper came out of it and aimed his blaster rifle at them. "Oh dear," C-3PO said, stopping and raising his arms.
"Come closer," the radio-sounding voice came from the trooper. The two droids approached. When they got close enough, the trooper commanded them to halt. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I'm terribly sorry," Threepio said, "But we were told to report to Lieutenant Starkiller, and my counterpart was dead certain that he was to be found in the wargames zone. I should have known better than to listen to him, I really should, but anyway, we got terribly turned around in there and have only now finally found our way out."
"There haven't been any wargames in several days," the trooper said, unconvinced.
"I know. We've been out there for days. As I said, we were horribly lost, all due to this bucket of bolts!" Threepio kicked his companion.
"No need for that," the trooper reprimanded. "You stay here. I'll check to see if this Lieutenant Starkiller knows anything..."
"Is there a problem here, Cadet?" a firm sounding voice sounded. The stormtrooper turned, obviously surprised, to find an Imperial major standing behind him. Nearby, parked beyond the fence, an open-topped landspeeder was parked. The stormtrooper quickly lowered his weapon.
"Sir! These two droids just came in out of the wargames zone, alone. I thought they might be spies."
The major gave the two droids an appraising look. "Our enemies must be getting desperate if they'd send these as spies, Cadet."
"Sir!" the trooper acknowledged.
"And did you think that these droids just dropped out of the sky? As far as I'm aware, Cadet, we are still capable of detecting ships landing upon Carida. Is there a change I should know about, Cadet?"
"Sir, no sir!"
"Then I shouldn't think that these are spies," the major said. "If I were you, Cadet, I'd be more concerned about the fact that if Ihad been a spy, you'd be dead now." He turned from the trooper. "Protocol droid!"
"Yes, sir?" Threepio replied.
"Were you performing under orders of somebody with a ranking of major or higher?"
"No sir, he was a lieutenant, I believe," Threepio lied.
"Good," the major said. "I am requisitioning your services. I have need of you. If your lieutenant has a problem with that, he can take it up with me."
"Yes sir."
"Cadet, put the astro-droid in the speeder and return to your post."
"Sir!" the Cadet moved to respond. Soon, the droids were ensconced in the speeder, going full speed to the Military Citadel.

Major Davin Felth never really thought he'd ever return to Carida, where he started his career in the Imperial military. But he really wouldn't have believed he'd be here in the company of the two droids who started him down the road as a Rebel. Not that either of them was aware of their role in his turning. He looked over at the protocol droid in his red skin, blissfully unaware of how he had affected the galaxy around him. Felth had never seen the droid in person before, so the red wasn't too unusal. All that the stormtroopers on Tatooine had known was that they were looking for a rolling droid and a humanoid one. After they had caught up to the Jawas they had learned more of course. Then they had blown those Jawas away. That had disturbed him, but not so much as the killing of the human couple. It was those deaths, and that of another Jawa in Mos Eisley, that had convinced Felth to aid the Rebellion as an inside agent, and he had been so for the past five long years.
"Don't worry, you two," he said over the sound of the speeder's engines. "I'm y

 

...somewhere that I can buy quality lightsaber hilts from. I don't want working ones, only hilts that I can affix a dowel rod to easily and remove again. I need somewhere that either is in the UK or will ship to the UK. Could you also give any experience you may have eith the suppliers as I don't want to send money or card details off to some crook. Website shops would be nice.
Also, does anyone know where I can download some high-quality .wav files of lightsaber and sithsaber (Maul's double-ended saber) sound effects?

 

Hellbore,

here's some VERY high quality sabers sold in the UK. They also come in less expensive kit form: http://www.darthsworkshop.fsnet.co.uk/main.htm http://www.darthsworkshop.fsnet.co.uk/main.htm

Here's some sounds for ya: http://theforce.net/theater/postproduction/soundfx/soundfx03.shtml http://theforce.net/theater/postproduction/soundfx/soundfx03.shtml

peace

 

Cheers, man. Shame the price is high for the aluminium models, but the look excellent. I particularly like the fact that you can have custom designs built. Do you have experience of buying from this guy? Is he reliable?

 

Park Sabers are probably the best known. Even the Ranch hired him to make Mara Jade's lightsaber on the cover of Insider magazine.
http://www.parksabers.com http://www.parksabers.com

Azeem
TFN FanFilms

 

I've seen the parksabers. Very nice and cheaper than the UK guy. But do they ship to the UK. I couldn't see anything about it on their site. Can I write to them or E-mail them about it?