Saga Gone- Dark viggie

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Sep 14, 2004.

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  1. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Title: Gone

    Author obi_ew

    Genre: Angst

    Characters: Read and find out. [face_devil]

    Summary: A lone Jedi is hunted during the Purges.

    Disclaimer: I don't own them unfortunately. :(

    Thanks: To Shaindl for the beta work and title. [face_love]

    Note: Yeah it's been done before but my muse demanded I try my hand. ;)

    Gone


    His lungs burned, his chest heaving as he struggled to draw precious air. Limping into the dark and dingy alleyway, he took a furtive look around before allowing himself to slump against the side of the building nearest to him. Sweat trickled down his forehead, stinging eyes that already burned from a combination of fatigue and tears. The muscles in his legs ached, forcing him to slide down the wall so that he could sit with his back propped against the duracreet wall.

    Gone. Everything and everyone was gone. Wiped out by the newly self proclaimed Emperor and his right hand man. What Jedi had managed to escape the destruction of the Temple were now being hunted down like common criminals. The death marks on their heads were so large, every hired gun and bounty hunter in the galaxy was after them. It was only a matter of time before they were all brought down. If the mercenaries didn?t get them, the Emperor?s pet Jedi would.

    A sob caught in his throat as his thoughts once again dwelled on the former Jedi who had turned to the Darkside. The young man had once been the best and brightest of them. Now he hunted down and killed those who had loved and adored him without blinking an eye. He himself had been witness to the extent of the young man?s descent into madness only hours earlier.

    Watching from the ruins of what had once been the Jedi Temple, the black smoke suffocating him, he?d watched helplessly as the one time Jedi swept through the charred remains. A cruel half smile twisting his lips, his dead eyes had reflected the fires as he?d cut down anyone who?d dared cling to life. It hadn?t mattered how old or how young, as long as they were Jedi they were fair game for the glowing red blade.

    A keening wail echoed around him as he finally allowed himself to think about his own fallen apprentice. The boy had refused his order to run, deciding to make a stand by his master?s side. A two handed grip on his lightsaber, Anakin had been unable to block the reign of laser bolts fired from the clone soldiers. The boy?s anguished cry had screamed through their bond only to fall eerily silent only seconds later. He'd lost his own weapon among the ashes as the pain of a brutally severed bond tore through his mind and heart.

    Teeth clenched in a vain attempt to hold in his sobs, he wasn?t surprised to hear the steady approach of a pair of booted feet. Letting the back of his head rest against the wall, he watched as a shadow separated itself from the entrance of the alley. Through a blur of weary tears, he took in the black clothed figure that halted only inches from him. His death was inevitable. It had only been a matter of time before the fallen Jedi found him. Lifting his chin with a show of false bravado, he forced himself to stare into those cold eyes.

    He could remember a time when they had once burned with laughter and warmth. Now when he looked into their depths all he could see was death and an unbridled blood lust. How could it have come to this? He hadn?t even realized that he?d spoken that question aloud until it settled between them.

    "You know how," the smooth accented voice taunted him. "It all began with you and Jinn."

    "No. Master Qui-Gon is not responsible for what you?ve become. He did the best he could. It was your decision to turn against everything you?d been taught. You.."

    "Silence!"

    Although spoken in a sinister whisper, the word was fueled by so much rage it seemed to pin him against the wall. Eyes wide in his face, he drew back as the fallen Jedi crouched down in front of him. His tormentor was quick to smell the fear that radiated off of him. A frigid
  2. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Yeah, that's right, kill 'em all! Redrum! Redrum! Mwahahahahaha! 8-}

    Great job - loved how you kept us guessing who the Sith was. Any more killing of innocent Jedi in your future, hmm? :D

    Shaindl
  3. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Ohhhh evily and well done!!! Was pondering if the one was Xan and the evil one a bad Obi or not ;) hehehe I know how you love that! hehehe

    Great job!!! Loved how Xan's last words would haunt him!
  4. Phoenix_Reborn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2003
    star 4
    Xan!!! NO!!!! Why couldn't you kill Obi instead? :p

    Loved it OE- dark and angry and evil Obi...

    was he wearing leather? Absolutely loved it!
  5. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    AHHHHHHHH!!!!

    I actually went "Oh my God!" when I realised Xan had been Anakin's master.

    Dude, that was good. You need to kill characters more often. See what lovely works come out of killing people? :D

    But that part about the bond between Anakin and Xan dying painfully, that was sad. :(
  6. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    You actually killed someone?! [face_shocked] I can't believe it. :p

    You do love your Xan and Obi-Wan don't you? You killed Xan? Again, I can't believe it. I like Xan...

    This is VERY good. You always do amazing work though so it is no surprise. :D This is worthy of a bag of candy, but since you don't praticularly care for that you get a sticker. Sorry, I don't have any steaks so stickers will have to do! :) :p

    Amazingly fabulous job!
  7. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    [face_devil] I LOVED it! What does that say about me? Hmmm...Simply delicious. Dark Obi is mesmerizing, to say the least.


    "I forgive you little brother," Xanatos said softly, a sad smile curving his lips.

    "Keep your fake platitudes Xan," Obi-Wan snarled as he drove the glowing blade into the Jedi?s chest.

    The light gradually dimmed in the deep blue eyes, but the smile remained. A shiver traveled down the young Sith?s spine as he abruptly stood. Obi-Wan slowly backed away from the empty shell that had once housed his padawan brother?s spirit. The weight of the accusing stare soon became too much and he spun on his heel to rush from the alley, black robe flowing behind him.

    Xanatos last words and smile would haunt both his dreams and waking hours for the remainder of his days.


    Oh man, a dozen little plot bunnies just jumped into my head. Thanks a lot! Lovely, lovely viggie. You're so talented...I think I'm Yoda green with envy right now! But I still like ya'! :D
  8. Jedikma Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 4
    Nicely done o_e!

    The light gradually dimmed in the deep blue eyes, but the smile remained. A shiver traveled down the young Sith?s spine as he abruptly stood. Obi-Wan slowly backed away from the empty shell that had once housed his padawan brother?s spirit. The weight of the accusing stare soon became too much and he spun on his heel to rush from the alley, black robe flowing behind him.

    Xanatos last words and smile would haunt both his dreams and waking hours for the remainder of his days.


    I especially liked this ending. :)
  9. JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 4
    The only thing I can say is that I think you portray Dark Obi better than anyone. LOL. Great fic.
  10. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Oh, a dark and evil Obi-Wan. And you killed Xan. Wow, OE, you're killing everyone you like... who will be next???? LOL

    Great job. I didn't think it would be from Obi-Wan's POV with Xan as the dark one but I didn't really guess who it was at all!

    Loved it. You should kill off more Jedi... :D
  11. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Shaindl You're so vicious! Kill more Jedi? Well I still have three threads left. [face_thinking]

    Kynstar You suspected? :eek: Clever girl!

    Birdy Of course he was wearing black leather! Silly birdy! :p

    Jade Killing people could become a habit. [face_devil]

    VadersMistress I do love my Xaniwan. [face_love] :* Thank you for the kind words.

    VaderLVR I like you too! ;) Plot bunnies are good! Feed them well. :D

    Jedikma Thank you my dear! :)

    JediMaster_Jen [face_blush] Thank you! There's just something delicious about a dark Obi isn't there? [face_batting]

    Diane See! Jinn isn't the only one I kill off! :p

  12. KrystalBlaze Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2002
    star 5
    :_| :_|

    You have no idea how sad that was, do you? DO YOU?! You killed them both, really - Xan and Obi-Wan. :( WHY, I ask you, WHY? I mean, its bad enough Xan died in canon, do you have to murder him in fanfic?

    Truly beautiful fic, OE. I loved it. The sentiments were so lovely and heart-wrenching. Great job.

    "I forgive you little brother."

    *wails*

    -Krystal
  13. Bekah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 4
    You seem to have no problems with killing off Xan, OE. This isn't going to become a habit is it? I mean, it was Xan. :)

    Great vig, I enjoyed every moment of it. I thought at first that maybe you did a follow-up to Shaindl's vig concerning Dark Garen finding Obi-Wan. Boy was I wrong! Nice twist, Xan being Anakin's master and Obi-Wan being the one who turned. Obi does make a delicious dark Knight doesn't he? :)
  14. astroanna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2002
    star 4
    Oooooooooooo, great work, obi-ew! :)

    This one sent chills down my spine!

    I have to admit, though, it surprised me that you would write a dark Obi...you did it really well, though!

    Brava! :)
  15. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    EVIL!!!!

    Bad oe! Bad! Bad!

    I loved it. :p
  16. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    [face_love] I loved it. What a twisted world you weave.

    :D Great feelings in Xan of the losses and end. I always love a good dark Obi and you did it so well. :)

    Too bad about Xan though. he did go out like a jedi with acceptance and forgiveness. :D
  17. SenatorHermione Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 21, 2004
    star 1
    Dark and creepy, just like I like them! Perfect, though dark, portrayal of these two.
  18. Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2001
    star 5
    Oooo, that was great! I loved the twist of Obi turning to the darkside and Xanatos being the good guy. Excellent descriptions, too! Very well written. :)
  19. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    ohhh, I actually had not a clue until close to the end! :eek: You really do good death scenes oe.....*looks behind her nervously to make sure oe isn't stalking up* :p :D

    I really would like to see this taken on as a broader story .....

    *sends rabid plot bunny to nip oe's heels*
  20. CapNJaxWench Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2004
    star 1
    Now that was great! Very different and I loved it. Superb work.
  21. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Krystal I'm sorry! :( I normally don't like to kill Xan, but I hate killing Obi even more.

    Bekah No! I don't plan on killing him anytime in the near future. Bad Obi is very delicious! :*

    astro Hi stranger! :) Dark Obi is becoming more and more appealing.

    Red You only like it because I killed Xan! :p

    Altaira Dark Obi is very good! :D

    SenatorHermione [face_blush] Thank you! Glad it pleased and thanks for reading.

    Lonewolf89 Thank you reading and replying. I enjoyed your viggie also. :)

    flash No! * runs screaming from the rabid bunnies* [face_worried]

    CapNJaxWench Wow! Thank you for the kind words. [face_blush]

  22. Captain_Observant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2002
    star 2
    ooo..

    I really like the way you twisted everything (including my brain) up in this! Superbly done!!
  23. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    You're so funny :D I never quite know what you're going to do with these boys - but i'm never disappointed. Your Xan and Obi characterizations rule :)

    Right you were - like it I do.

    --shan

    Oh, and btw - I posted that hot little number for you ;)
  24. Master_Noi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 8, 2004
    star 4
    I've read your Destinies series and face and broken dreams. I have enjoyed how you write Xan each time.

    I really like Dark Obi.
  25. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Loved it- nice dark little twisty tale made my morning :)
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