Saga Gray - outline for OC Clone Wars/Purge fic, angsty/despairish, comments please!

Like the topic says - it's an idea. An idea that has gone through perhaps millions of forms to get here. Tell me what you think of it!

Title: Gray
Author(s): FalCarani (that's me) with input from friends, maybe you guys too!
Timeframe: Before/During/After Clone Wars
Characters: Fal Carani (OC), Depa Billaba and the council, Dooku, Ventress, others
Genre: Angst. Big Time. But not in the normal whiny-teenage-boy way: This is mature angst. Sort of.
Quick summary: Oh, the horror!
Slightly less quick summary: The origins of Fal Carani, my favorite OC to date. Since I'm new here, the only one you guys have met. The proper word here is "angst."
Notes: This isn't my first fanfic, but it's the first I'm putting out in public. Lol. Constructive criticism is not only welcomed, but encouraged. Be nice, but be firm! Maybe I'm being a little out-of-style doing it this way... but I want it to be right.

Fal Carani's beginnings as a Jedi were unremarkable. He was discovered early in life by Jedi scouts and brought to Coruscant for training. He was always questioning his masters, on several occasions challenging even Yoda for an answer. The nature of his questions however gave them pause, for many strayed into the realm of the Dark Side, causing several masters to whisper that perhaps Fal should no longer be trained. After several sessions of debate and seeking an answer in the Force, the council decided that it would be best to let him stay, under supervision. Against the Council's better judgment, though, Depa Billaba took him as a Padawan. The problem with this was not that Depa was a poor master or Fal a poor student - to the contrary, they both excelled at every task - but, Depa was a master of Juyo and Vaapad, by far the most volatile forms of lightsaber combat. The control of Mace Windu and the serenity of Depa were up to the task by the Council's reckoning, but Fal's explosive spirit would be in grave danger if he were to slip for only a moment during battle. Depa insisted, however, and Mace concurred. At the early age of 8, Fal was to be trained by Depa Billaba.
Fal was not an incredibly popular Padawan around the Temple. His constant questions and obvious innate skill with a lightsaber made many of them feel inferior. Before long, several younglings, most of them older than him, banded together to let him know how they felt. They felt that numbers would make them more intimidating, along with the staffs they brandished. Fal was not amused and launched a flurry of attacks that laid the most of them out on the floor. Not having even had a chance to speak, the remaining younglings ran off. The explosion of anger that had come from Fal just before he attacked sent a shockwave throughout the Temple that every Force-sensitive in the building could feel. When Depa and Yoda arrived only moments later, Fal both appeared and felt in the Force that nothing had occurred, though everyone knew to the contrary.
Following the youngling 'incident,' Depa began to concentrate on Fal's mind-conditioning abilities that she sensed within him. Before long, Fal was able to successfully hide his thoughts entirely from anyone around him, which Depa thought she might have been foolish in nurturing, but decided it would be for the better in the end, as long as he stayed with the light. Fal even said that given time he could fool himself. He would not realize what this could mean until much later.
Fal, ever the advanced student, passed his trials at age 17. He instantly distanced himself from the Jedi in general, only occasionally contacting his Master, since as far as he was concerned she was the only Jedi he could trust, since her Vaapad gave her the ability to understand the dark. Fal spent most of his time wandering, observing the galaxy as a whole and in small parts, drifting from population centers to the most remote planets, and even attempting to investigate the Unknown Regions. In his travels he came to the conclusion that his hunches had been right, that there were no ?sides? to the Force: it was only a medium, to be inter