Grudge Match 19 Jul 05 Harry Potter vs Anakin Skywalker

Discussion in 'Jacksonville, NC' started by jkg_vader, Jul 19, 2005.

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Grudge Match 19 Jul 05 Harry Potter vs Anakin Skywalker

Poll closed Mar 25, 2012.
Young Harry Potter 6 vote(s) 100.0%
Young Anakin Skywalker 0 vote(s) 0.0%
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  1. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    OK, so in Honor of the newest Harry Potter book that just came out, I give you Harry vs. Anni:


    The Scenario

    "Excuse me?"

    The blond-haired boy, working inside the repulsor's access port on his podracer, takes his head out to look around. The desert sands are empty. He goes back to work.

    "I say, up here!"

    He looks up, and gets a shock. There is a human boy, about twelve standard years old and dressed in a scarlet robe, hovering over his head on a broomstick with the name "Nimbus 2000" written across it. "Wizards! How do you do that?"

    The other lad shrugs. "Magic. Listen, I wonder if you can help me. My name's Harry."

    "I'm Anakin." Fusing one last connection, he climbs out of the access port.

    "Well, Anakin, I'm not supposed to be on this planet. Draco Malfoy pulled a prank on me with an Apparition spell. Made a Portkey out of the Golden Snitch during a Quidditch match. Now I have to get the Snitch back if I'm ever to return to Hogwarts."

    Anakin hops into the pod resting on the ground. "You must be from another planet. You aren't making any sense."

    Harry breathes a sigh. "I need to find a small golden ball with wings on it. It floats."

    "Oh, so that's what it was. I used it to replace the blown levitator coil in my podracer." Anakin powers up, and his pod rises off the ground. "It works! Now I'm sure to win the big race. Yippee!"

    "What?" shouts Harry, before choking on the cloud of dust from Anakin's receding podracer. "You little git, come back with that Golden Snitch!" He draws his wand, and spurs his broom into pursuit.

    So, Dave, which wiz kid will wind up the Golden Boy today?

    Anakin Skywalker

    vs.

    Harry Potter

    The Commentary

    DAVE: Anakin Skywalker does not impress me. Sure, he won an important pod race, but so what? That was, by his own admission, the first and only time he ever finished a race! Sounds like a pretty crappy record to me. Harry Potter, on the other hand, is a proven winner. Apart from one instance in which nearby Dementors caused him to faint, Harry has never failed to capture the Golden Snitch for his team at this point. Not only has Harry racked up the Quidditch wins, he also outmaneuvered a dangerous Hungarian dragon during an international magic tournament. Needless to say, this tournament was eventually won by... you guessed it... Harry Potter. So let's review, shall we?

    Anakin Skywalker - One win, many losses
    Harry Potter - One loss, many wins

    Putting Harry in a situation where he needs to acquire the Golden Snitch means the outcome is certain. This is simply what Harry does best. He may be in perpetual trouble in Potions class, and he may not have the gifts for Divination, but when he mounts his world-class broomstick, he is unbeatable.

    The fact that the Snitch is currently a component of Anakin's pod makes no difference. Harry can use any number of spells to stop Skywalker. Following that, he can just reach in and take the Snitch, and I guarantee you that puny Skywalker won't have a whole lot of say in the matter.

    At the end of the day, Potter will be safely returned to Hogwarts, while Ani will have to console himself with the theme song of his red-haired namesake: "The sun(s) will come out... tomorrow..."

    SHANE: It's apt that you mentioned a red-headed stepchild, Dave, since I'll be beating you like one now.

    Using taunting nicknames against Anakin may make you feel better, but he's too mentally tough to be affected. Slavery will do that for you. Name-calling seems more likely to wound the puny, bespectacled Harry, as we've seen more than once in his books. Indeed, given the reputation of British boarding schools, I'm surprised he hasn't suffered far worse from Hogwarts's bully-boys, although Harry Potter and the Knockwurst of Molestation probably wouldn't sell well in the children's department.

    Now, Harry's usually superb at catching the Golden Snitch, but that's when it isn't moving at 600 miles per hour. A podracer can do that, while Harry's broomstick gives out at a quarter of that speed. Sure, Harry can
  2. eddie-wan-kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2003
    star 4
    Hmmm, actually tougher than I expected. Young Anakin doesnt know how to use the Force at that point so I guess Harry has the advantage. Now, older Ep II and III Anakin would destroy Harry. Cant chant a spell when your windpipe is being crushed. But since we are talking about their little boy years, I guess I will give the nod to Harry.
  3. Entropy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2002
    star 4
    Nawww. Anakin would just whine about how Dumbledore was holding him back, while Harry laid the smack down.
  4. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Gotta go with Harry...and I think even older Harry could take on Older Anakin. Especially since Harry is getting the hang of Non-Verbal spells (crushed windpipe not a factor...). Plus, look at what's happened whenever Harry got pissed Off, he did Magic without even meaning to (he blew up his Aunt Marge, Dudley in the Snake tank, regrowing his hair, etc).

    Little Anni doesn't stand a chance...plus he did save Jar Jar, and that is unforgivable. [face_shame_on_you]

    Take away Harry's Wand and Broom stick, and Darth Vader (pre-Mustafar) could take him, but Anakin? Never.
  5. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    LOL!!!! [face_laugh] =D=
  6. eddie-wan-kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2003
    star 4
    Good point about the Non-Verbals, j9. Lol, I remember the first time I saw Prisoner of Azcaban when Harry blew up the hateful aunt. I said "Whoa! Harry's goin dark side on her ass!!"
  7. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    LOL, yeah I thought the same thing. We are a bunch of nerds, aren't we?
  8. Jedi_Master_Kel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2002
    star 3
    Yes, YOU are a bunch of nerds! :)
  9. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    "Pot this is Kettle, over." 8-}
  10. eddie-wan-kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2003
    star 4
    I wear my nerd badge quite proudly, thank you very much. ;)
  11. beafet Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2001
    star 5
    [image=http://www.durbnpoisn.com/images/faces/pot-kettle.gif]

    [face_plain]
  12. Jedi_Master_Kel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2002
    star 3
    Nice pic.

    I hate to say this, but I think Harry would beat 9 yr old Annie.

    Oh well.

    JMK
  13. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    Yeah, I think that's the general consensus. Luv the pic beafet.
  14. JediRiff FanForce CR Rocky Mount NC US

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2002
    star 5
    Yep. Harry. However, again, Episode III Ani would rip Harry a new one.
  15. jkg_vader Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    I disagree...now I think Ep:III Darth Vader (pre-mustafar) would rip Harry a new one. This is because Darth Vader is cool, but Anakin is a whiney, annoying little b*tch.
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