JCC Guys it's one of those threads

Not many, and I haven't watched much in the way of court shows in a very long time (sometimes I'll catch a few minutes of Judge Mathis since that airs directly after the morning local news here), but I can remember some pretty out there cases watching The People's Court when I was a kid.

 

I like that by the time she buys all the surveillance equipment, private detectives, and pays for all the fingerprint and DNA analysis his plan suggests, she could have bought a nigh unlimited supply of the best coffee available.

EDIT: Also, if we're going all out here, you may as well have suggested she hire a law firm to draw up the contract. It would be pretty stupid to do all that and then find it was non-binding for some reason at the very end.

 

seriously though, if you want to save yourself time and effort, the easiest solution is to poison the coffee.

 

This

 

Guys we've moved on from coffee to dead babies come on.

 

Brew the coffee out of aborted fetuses.

 

i still think poisoning the coffee (if he still drinks it) will solve all your problems.

 

SLG, you should move. Ask people you know if they know someone who's not crazy but looking for a roommate. Explain your situation and that you're looking to avoid it in the future.

 

On the day you move out, rearrange all of his furniture in his room, dumping coffee all over his bed fram and nail his door shut.

 

Update: possible miscarriage. Side eyeing my roomie.

 

Hilarious!

I'm sure this will provide plenty of material for his stand up.

 

Now it's time to leave tons of condoms around the house. fill the coffee pot with them.

 

Welllllll actually he used to steal my condoms, so I hid them all. Then this happened. I assumed he would...get his own.

 

Miscarriage or not, leave the room mate.

His behavior has been largely reprehensible by JCC standards. JCC standards are in the toilet. QED.

 

So pretty much all of this is your own fault. You're lucky they didn't have the baby, then sue you for child support.

 

Another update: girlfriend waited a few more weeks. Apparently she was drinking and partying throughout. Miscarriage finally happened.

Dumb *****.

 

Ughhhhhhh

 

I want to know how is it he stole your condoms, then when they were hidden didn't use any. Then got his gf pregnant and wondered aloud how in the hell did she get pregnant? Was he using the condoms for some other purpose?

 

Maybe he used the condoms he stole on his penis to prevent his sperm fertilising his girlfriends eggs. Then when he had no more condoms, they had sex and the girl got pregnant. Perhaps he wondered out loud how she got pregnant because he was practicing the withdrawal method and was unaware of the risks.

 

He didn't withdraw, he told my other roommate that he just...released inside completely every time. The explanation was "I didn't think anything would happen"

I cannot comprehend such stupidity.

 

Um you've been here long enough that you should at least be aware people can be that dumb.

 

If only there were a cautionary tale from the annals (tee hee) of the JCC... that of a Jedi kitten of indescribable origin...

 

they seem very suited to eachother.