Before Half Stranger (Obi/Qui) - - Updated 5/23

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Antigone, May 13, 2004.

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  1. Antigone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    EDIT: oops, wrong verson of the fic - not too different, but the editing...ugh, sorry. I think I changed everything that I wanted changed. Sorry!

    Hello there my fellow Board dwellers! I come bearing new ficcage. :) Hope you enjoy - and perhaps rest easy in the fact that I've got a bit more of this already finished, so more *will* come. :)

    This plot, or a variation rather, came to me after reading a line in one of LuvEwan's wonderful fics - Half Stranger. I can't remember the fic I saw it in, honestly, but those two words simply dictated a story line to me. And although, with the revisions I've made to the plot, you may have to mentally squint to make the title really fit the fic, I've opted to keep it for now, because, really without those two words, there would be no story. So, thank you L_E for unwittingly inspiring me. :)

    Again, I hope all who read enjoy - and, as always, I'd love to hear what you think of it. :)

    Author: Antigone
    Rating: PG-13
    Category: Obi Angst
    Timeframe: Obi is 18
    Warnings: none
    Summary: A single good deed earns Obi-Wan his own personal hell.

    _ - _ - _ -


    Midday in one of Coruscants? many clusters of shops held two opposite sensations for Obi-Wan Kenobi. The thriving area, particularly following a passage on one of the stiflingly small transports his master favored for missions, was a welcome reminder of the life which pulsed throughout the universe - something he had inevitably forgotten while cramped in a two chambered ship. The flip side of the figurative coin was that going from virtual isolation to complete immersion in the sea of the living could be rather overwhelming. It might be a standard week before the padawan had acclimated himself enough to fully drop his light mental shielding and sense everything around him without a blinding headache for his trouble.

    Obi-Wan leaned back against the speeder, sighing as the heat the metal had gathered diffused through his robes and seeped pleasantly into the muscles of his back. Out of the direct path of most pedestrians, he had little to do but act out his self-appointed position as guardian of the speeder. As Qui-Gon had not needed assistance in his quest for groceries and Obi-Wan had not particularly enjoyed the stifling quality of the interior of their speeder, the padawan had stationed himself on the outskirts of the pedestrian highway. He allowed the largely erratic emotions of the beings surrounding him to press against his light mental buffer, simply immersing himself in the life flowing around him.

    His idle observation of the throng was short lived, however, as a wail soon pierced the air. Straightening himself, Obi-Wan scanned the crowd, but it was not until a second desperate cry reached his ears that he found the source. A young boy, not a day over four years, his mouth opened in a pitiful frown, forehead creased and cheeks streaked with tears, was pushing a path through the walkway, against the flow of beings. Those around him, all but oblivious the tiny child that struggled through their legs, barely spared a glance.

    Moments after Obi-Wan began to walk toward the child, however, he was noticed. The boy was caught on the knee of a passerby and thrown backwards, toppling into the back of another?s legs. The being's knees gave under the impact and he stumbled forward. Quickly, he turned around and snatched the boy up by the collar of his tunic, suspending him at eye level. At the action, Obi-Wan sped his steps.

    ?Put him down.?

    The figured turned sharply toward the padawan, and at the jerk of the motion his hood slid fully from his head. The absence of covering revealed an unremarkable humanoid, save one feature - a scar which curved from the cleft of his chin to the lobe of his left ear.

    A cursory glance at what he correctly identified as Jedi and the human unceremoniously released the child, letting him fall painfully to the soiled ground. His eyes narrowed at the padawan, lingering a moment on the braid, but a smirk ghosted his pale lips. He raised his fingers
  2. jacen200015 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
    *Tag* :D ok i'll read now.


    Edit: Interesting.
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I liked the setup. I can only wonder where you are going to take this - the terror of the mother for a Jedi, the child's injuries, the humanoid with a smirk on his lips. They all could lead in different directions.

    Good job so far. Keep going.
  4. jedimommie2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2004
    star 2
    Great beginning! Waiting for more!!!
  5. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Yep yep, I agree! Great beginning. Interesting indeed about the mum's reaction to Obi. And the guy that picked up the kid.. ummm perchance further investigation will arise on him? Great work :D
  6. MY-T-Chewbacca Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2004
    star 1
    Very interesting. I can't wait to see where you take us with this one.
  7. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    The fact that anything I wrote could inspire, even partially, anything that you've wrote is just amazing. [face_shocked] Thanks for the mention in your intro. [face_love]

    And so far, this is amazing as well. Very, very intriguing, Antigone. ;) There are so many seemingly everday elements that have already been twisted into strange, even sinister. Obi-Wan's sudden exhaustion is definitely not a good sign! :(


    Great beginning and I can't wait for more! :D
  8. ca_tron Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 3
    *looks at the shiny metal object dangling in front of her*
    Oooooo. Pretty.
    *grabs on to it*
    *is now hooked to the story*
    Well, now that you got me, I have to keep reading. Great story so far. Can't wait to see what becomes of our dearest Obi.
  9. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Are you sure you didn't have a hidden camera following me around when I worked at Disneyland? When I was actually able to keep the little lost brat calm enough to not lash out at me, I couldn't understand a word it was saying.... "what's your name?...HDJHFHBBF...I'm sorry, what did you say? GDHEAJ"

    Great fic- I'm waiting for the proverbial ###to hit the fan.
  10. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Yeah, I'm hooked, too. Can't wait for more!
  11. Sticks-Solo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2001
    star 2
    Interesting

    Why do I already feel sorry for Obi?

    I'm hooked!
  12. Opal Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2003
    star 4
    This looks rather interesting. (It's very well written as well). I'm very curious to see where you take it.
  13. Antigone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    I'm so happy for the feedback - I was a bit worried that my long-ish absence would have left me readerless. Thank you guys!

    Just popping in to say that the next post will come on either Saturday or Sunday. With only four days left of school, so many of my teachers recognized this week as, naturally, the best time to assign 1000 word spanish essays, chem labs, english journals, religion papers, gym presentations (?!?) and the like, so I'll be a bit tied up until Friday - on which I plan to sleep from 3pm to 10am. So, I've got a good chunk of it viewer friendly, but it still needs a bit of polishing and adding onto, hence Saturday or Sunday.

    Just thought I'd give a heads up.

    And then I'll be doing the individual responses (or sooner as a procrastination tactic.)
  14. The_Hutt Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2004
    star 1
    Funny scene, with Obi and the kid. I know how he feels! What was with that stranger? Does he have nothing better to do than pick on kids and stare creepily (is that a word) at Jedi? I have a feeling he is going to be doing his creepy thing a little more in this story. And why is Obi-Wan suddenly so uncharacteristically tired? Is it anything of significance? Hmmm....well, good start! I like your interpretation of Qui-you made his exactly as I imagine him!
  15. Calantha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2002
    star 2
    Good start. Poor Obi-Wan, only trying to help. For some reason, the child made me think of Anakin, though that would be quite a coincidence. The galaxy's a big place.

    And good luck with your school work. :)
  16. Shadowlurker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2004
    Oh, this one looks good! Can't wait for more!
  17. LukesTheMan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2004
    star 3
    Looks good! I hope you post more soon.
  18. OBI-MAD Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2004
    Hi

    I'm new here and this is the first story I've replied to. Can I just say what an excellent start and I can't wait for more. Why did the woman act so strangely after just getting her son back, and who was the scary man.Can't wait for the next post.

    Ajxxxxxx
  19. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Awesome start! I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this, it looks promising. Hmm, Obi's exhaustion is suspicious... Post more soon!!
  20. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    Very nice start, can't wait for more!
  21. Vampi_Digitalwytch Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
    star 3
    Count me among the hooked and waiting patiently for the next installment.
  22. Antigone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    You guys are amazing.

    Jacen200015 :D I?m glad you think so.

    dianethx Or, perhaps, they could all converge into one?

    jedimommie2 Thank you! And here?s more.

    Kynstar Oh, I do think you?ll be seeing him again rather soon.

    MY-T-Chewbacca Thanks - I hope you enjoy the ride.

    LuvEwan You are far too kind, my dear - especially as you read the unedited version. :D But thank you. :)

    ca_tron You like shiny? *Throws pieces of tin foil* Ha ha! Is that all I have to do to keep readers around? :D Thanks Hon.

    Padawan Kitara [face_laugh] Such situations transcend planetary boundaries, I guess. And I don?t think you?ll be waiting too long.

    VaderLVR64 :D

    Sticks-Solo Feel sorry for Obi? Now, why ever would you do a thing like that? [face_devil]

    Opal Thank you! I hope you enjoy.

    The_Hutt All will be revealed - eventually. And, yes, I do believe that is a word. :D

    Calantha That it is. :) But I think Anakin is, right now, too busy tormenting his mother with midnight feedings and dirty diapers to be bothered with Obi-Wan. Hehe. Thank you.

    Shadowlurker Hope you enjoy!

    LukesTheMan Your wish is my command.

    OBI-MAD Welcome to the Boards! Aw! And you replied to my story first? Thank you! [face_love]

    KenobisGirl Thanks! Yes, it is suspicious, isn?t it? [face_thinking]

    AnakinsHeir Thank you!

    Vampi_Digitalwytch Wait no more.

    Post coming up.
  23. Antigone Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2002
    star 1
    ?Yes, sir.?

    The secretary took her finger from the intercom button. ?He?s ready for you, now.?

    Despite himself, Vican?s heart pounded uncomfortably. Their meeting was originally not to be for another two days, but the paranoia which had clutched him the past two hours was more than he could handle. Every step he took, he felt invisible eyes on him, appraising - condemning.

    He had made a grave error, of this Vican held no doubt. But he felt it best to reveal his blunder now, on his terms - or rather the nearest to his terms that could be achieved. Nothing in the last three years had truly been his. His thoughts, his words, his deeds, his life - it all belonged to his master. He belonged to his master.

    His master. The only being in the universe to whom Vican had ever yielded. To him, Vican was little more than a floundering imbecile. And, standing before him, Vican thoroughly felt - and, it always seemed, acted - the part.

    With a calming breath, Vican stood, compulsively smoothing his ebony tunic, and walked to the ornate, heavy wooden door with a forced air of confidence. Grasping the polished handle, he pulled it open and entered with his head held high.

    The plush carpet gently gave as he shifted his weight upon it. With the ease of practice, Vican slipped each hand into the other?s wide sleeve, leaned back slightly, resting upon one hip, and waited. The door clicked shut behind him.

    At the large desk centered in front of an entirely windowed backdrop sat his master, head bent, delicate stylus touched to the document before him. Minutes passed with only the scratching of pen tip to paper to be heard.

    Finally, without so much as a glance at Vican, the man spoke.

    ?You were seen.?

    Vican?s throbbing heart leapt to his throat, constricting his airway exponentially with each pulse. He tried to swallow, to wet his mouth, but the narrowing of his throat made it impossible and instead he gagged silently.

    ?Yes, Master,? he rasped after he at last sucked in a decent breath of air.

    Terror coursing through his veins, he watched his master push aside one sheet and slide a second into its place, continuing the elegant script upon it. Vican?s stomach clenched. He couldn?t breathe.

    ?Fix it.?

    - - -

    Obi-Wan walked in darkness along the cold stone wall, dragging his the tips of his fingers lightly against it in guidance - though he knew he did not need a guide. The air was damp and heavy with mildew. High pitched plops of water dripping could be heard in the distance.

    His touch meeting something soft and vaguely furry, Obi-Wan quickly withdrew his hand, rubbing it vigorously upon his coarse robes to rid it of any remnants. He continued walking, his boots scuffing softly against the worn-smooth floor, turning where appropriate in spite of the inky blackness before his eyes.

    A new sound had joined the plunking water - whimpering. Quickening his steps, the padawan followed the soft cries, speeding his pace further as they grew louder, more desperate. Around a final corner shone a light, cascading out of an open doorway and onto the opposite wall.

    A voice joined the whimpering.

    ?Obi-Wan.?

    The padawan broke into a run, gaze never leaving the lit entryway.

    ?Obi-Wan, wake up.?


    Peering out through sleep spiked lashes, Obi-Wan found his master bending over him, gently shaking him into wakefulness.

    ?Dinner, Obi.?

    Nodding sleepily, the padawan shifted, turning away from his master?s touch, and snuggled into the bulk of the sofa. Qui-Gon, concerned with his charge?s delay of an informal yet direct order, placed the back of one large hand against the boy?s forehead.

    Snapping his eyes open at the contact, Obi-Wan hurriedly spoke, ?I apologize, Master. I?m alright - just tired.?

    The hand withdrawn, Obi-Wan stood quickly, offering a sheepish smile in penance, and glanced at his meal setting already prepared with food and drink. Satisfied with both his padawan?s alertness and current temperature, Qui-Gon walked over t
  24. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Well, I don't like the sound of that. Fix it

    Fix it how? Kill off everyone who saw him including the child or is it only the Jedi that has his Master so upset? This is not good.

    I liked the hints of Force visions in his dreams (I'm assuming here). Poor kid - he's in for it!

    Good job. Keep going.
  25. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Good work! :) Why is Obi-Wan so tired ?
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