Saga Hallowed Hearts - Missing Scene Challenge Response - Obi-Wan / Anakin vignette, TPM era

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Apr 2, 2007.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: Hallowed Hearts
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin
    Timeframe: TPM
    Summary: Anakin learns of Qui-Gon?s death.
    Notes: Written for the ?Missing Scene Challenge?

    A huge thank you to Gina for yet another stunning cover! [:D]

    [image=http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d117/MamaVader/HallowedHeartscopy.jpg]



    Hallowed Hearts


    ?Grief hallows hearts, even while it ages heads.?- Philip James Bailey

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Obi-Wan was sitting in a chair, his eyes staring out at nothing. Vaguely, he was aware of the buzz of conversations surrounding him, the hushed voices of those who do not know quite what to say. Some part of him wanted to put them at ease, to say something that would release them from what they saw as their duty.

    A bigger part of him, however, was struck silent by grief. Nothing he said would change things, and to be quite honest he could not work up much concern for the feelings of others at the moment. Let them hover around him, their faces etched with pity and uncertainty. He preferred to ignore them, to pretend that they did not exist.

    His life had changed in a moment with one swift movement of a crimson blade.

    Qui-Gon Jinn, the one constant presence in his life for more than a dozen years, was gone. Obi-Wan knew he must find a way to go on without his Master?s gentle wisdom, but at the moment that seemed an impossible thing. There could not possibly be life without Qui-Gon, not ever. Certainly not now.

    If Obi-Wan had ever acknowledged that one day his Master would not be at his side, he had imagined that day to be far in the future, too distant to be real.

    ?Obi-Wan.? With the whispered sound of his name he felt the gentle pressure of a slim hand on his shoulder. He turned burning eyes to the speaker, tried to assemble a smile on his face. Failed.

    ?Padmé,? he replied before he remembered. ?Your Majesty,? he corrected himself and started to stand, but the delicate hand on his shoulder was stronger than he suspected.

    ?No,? the young queen said firmly. ?Sit.? The stern expression on her face brooked no argument and in his weariness, he found no courage to do so.

    He nodded once and settled back into the chair.

    ?I?m?? She stopped and took a shuddering breath, shaking her head. ?I?m so sorry.?

    Obi-Wan closed his eyes, hoping desperately that she would offer no other words of sympathy. He was full up of useless platitudes, sick of the sound of the worthless words. Surprisingly, she remained silent. He risked a look at her and saw that she was sitting there with her shoulders hunched as if in pain, her head bowed. To his shock, he saw tears drop into her lap.

    Her genuine sorrow moved him as no words of comfort could have done and he reached out and took her hand in his. The simple touch soothed them both. A commotion from the doorway drew their eyes and Obi-Wan saw the boy, Anakin, being escorted toward him.

    Master?what have you asked of me?

    Anakin looked around him, took in the stiff faces, the soft voices, the sorrow that permeated the very air. Warily, his eyes went to Obi-Wan and the young man felt the weight of that blue stare as Anakin carefully studied the Jedi?s expression.

    Their eyes met. After a moment, something in Anakin?s expression shifted and the boy?s face became old?ancient?hopeless.

    Taking a step back, Anakin began to shake his head and Obi-Wan heard a soft, hissed ?No!? escape him.

    It was time to begin honoring his Master?s last request.

    Getting to his feet, Obi-Wan approached the boy, trying to ignore the way the boy flinched back from his outstretched hands. ?Anakin,? he said as gently as possible. It was clear that the boy already knew the terrible truth ? and it was just as obvious that he did not want it confirmed with Obi-Wan?s words.

    ?No!? Anakin cried out and Obi-Wan was aware of Padmé rising to her feet and walking toward the child.

    Anakin buried his face in her skirts. She had not changed her clothing and she still bore the marks of battle, a smudge of
  2. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    :_| :_| :_| :_|

    That was so heartbreaking!!

    I'm glad Obi-Wan and Padme were with Anakin when he learned about Qui's death. They're probably the only 2 who could bring him comfort.

    I absolutely loved the ending. How appropriate Obi and Anakin would help tend to Qui.

    Wonderful response to the challenge

    =D==D= =D= =D=
  3. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    :_| That was really sad! :_|
    Great work!!!
    Great description of Obi-Wan's and Anakin's feelings! =D=
  4. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Very sad. Poor both of them, to lose someone they cared about. I liked that Anakin was so uncertain but full of denial.

    This made me so sad...

    For just a moment, Anakin hesitated, and then he squared his shoulders and fell into step beside the Jedi. ?Where is he?? he asked in a whisper.

    ?They?re?? Obi-Wan felt something wild rise up in his throat, something that threatened to choke him. He took a deep breath. ?They?re preparing his body.?

    ?For what?? Anakin asked curiously.

    ?For the pyre,? Obi-Wan answered, struggling desperately to sound detached. Failing.


    Failing... :_|


    Great job.
  5. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Anakin?s eyes searched Obi-Wan?s for any hint of deception or faltering of purpose. After a long moment, Anakin nodded. ?Okay,? he said quietly, hanging his head.

    Obi-Wan got to his feet and was surprised to feel Anakin slip a sweaty little hand into his. He looked down at him, and they both tried to smile. They both failed, but somehow it was better in some inexplicable way. Together, they were stronger than they had been separately and they were just beginning to realize it.
    :_|

    Kim, what makes you so brilliant a writer? Whatever you eat or drink, I want some!

    This was - perfection. Man - I've run out of adjectives to describe your writing. It'll all be [face_love] =D= :_| from now on, I swear.
  6. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    *Lip wobbles*

    That was beautifully done, Kim.

    Unbidden, a protest rose up in Obi-Wan?s heart. Then, his Master?s gentle voice still echoing in his head, he nodded. ?Yes, he was.?

    I loved this part. Obi's small flash of jealousy, but Qui-Gon's memory making him push it down. So perfect.

    Wonderful job!
  7. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    :_| That was so sad! Lovely how Obi-Wan pulls himself out of his own grief to help Anakin. =D=
  8. Darth Muis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 4
    Great response to the challenge! And so quick!

    Beautiful descriptions and it would really fit in the movie; it's very in character. I especially like Obi-Wan's response to Padmé's reaction. Great job! =D=
  9. Gina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    That was so heartbreaking. :_| :_| Yet, as always, it was beautiful. You captured everyone's emotions so vividly. Bravo, K! =D=

  10. yodas_waiter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2006
    star 3
    Beautifully written. Heart-wrenching stuff yet at the same time heart warming =D=
  11. The Musical Jedi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 1999
    star 5
    So beautiful... I like the way you captured Anakin's responses, always a contridiction of themselves. I also enjoyed your view of Obi-Wan - Wanting to have Qui-Gon just for a moment longer. Very beautiful. [face_love]
  12. Bale Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 9, 2005
    star 4
    Wow! That was impressive. Sometimes we forget about the impact that Qui-Gon's death must have had in shaping Anakin into the man he became. You did a masterful job of capturing the heart-wrenching emotion of Qui-Gon's death.

    I also like the fact that you showed us this primarily from Obi-Wan's perspective. The way you wrote it, it could fit perfectly into TPM. It would have been too unfitting if this had been from Anakin's perspective.

    Great job, as always. :)
  13. BigE Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2002
    star 4
    I agree - this was beautifully written. Excellent.

    For an instant, Obi-Wan was angry, furious at his Master. He was being denied his own time to grieve and instead must turn his attentions and energies to this boy, this unknown child who had been thrust at him. It isn?t fair, Master.

    Then the boy?s sobs touched him and his anger fled, leaving only grief and weariness in its wake. No matter the injustice of it all, it wasn?t the boy?s fault. He had left behind everything he had ever known. Like Obi-Wan, the foundation of his life had been destroyed. Perhaps together, they could heal.

    It seemed a good enough legacy for his Master.

    The only one I can give.


    This was a nice touch, a point at which Obi-Wan moves from previously protesting the training of Anakin to now becoming determined to train him for his former Master's sake.
  14. Alley_Skywalker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2005
    star 4
    Obi-Wan got to his feet and was surprised to feel Anakin slip a sweaty little hand into his. He looked down at him, and they both tried to smile. They both failed, but somehow it was better in some inexplicable way. Together, they were stronger than they had been separately and they were just beginning to realize it.

    And they always were better off and stronger together!

    Such a nice missing scene=D=
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