Saga Halloween Challenge: A Peaceful Meadow Picnic, in October

Title: A Peaceful Meadow Picnic, in October
Author: Knight_Dilettante
Characters: T'Riche, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi
Keywords: AU, also some non-trivial timeline tangles - just go with the flow and don't think about it too much
Notes: Written for the Halloween Challenge 2005 with the following simple rules -

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write the single worst opening sentence that you can possibly think of for a vignette. In other words, write a 1,000 word vignette with the worst opening sentence you can come up with.

Rules

1. Your entry must be received by October 29th. Contest will be judged and over by November 5.
2. Your entry must be exactly 1,000 words long and must have "Halloween Challenge" in the title so our indexers know to look over it. Please LINK YOUR STORY HERE IN THIS THREAD.
3. And finally, you must have fun.

MS Word says this is exactly 1000 words and who am I to argue with Bill?

And I did have fun despite having two earlier attempts at a worst sentence shot down by friends for not being bad enough. Tricky work actually... In any case, I hope any readers will have at least as much fun reading as I did writing.


A Peaceful Meadow Picnic, in October
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a gloriously sunny day, the centers of the daisies in the meadow looked almost brighter than the sun as they reflected its glowing rays, and T'Riche knew that today would be the day that she would find her one and only true love (the one who would love her with a constancy and abject devotion that would make their union legend), and on the heels of that thrilling thought she saw him cresting the hill at the opposite side of the herd. She nearly ran to him but reconsidered when she saw he was not alone.

And then the day went dark with her rage as she realized he was not only not alone but he had already betrayed their love. There was a woman with him - some boring colorless creature too slight to be physically attractive and too aloof to satisfy any man, particularly one as vibrant as he.

She was angry with a burning hatred whose flame was matched only by that of the burning embers of her tousled auburn hair. Slowly she worked her way closer to the couple, keeping herself hidden behind one of the slow fat shaaks. She knew, deep in her heart that, if her love looked her way, he would instantly realize his grave mistake and run to her. And she would welcome him with open arms, using the dagger in her sleeve to punish him for his treachery. But she wanted him to see the death of the other first. How else would he learn? She must teach him.

She sidled nearer until she could hear them talking. He was babbling some nonsense that was most certainly an attempt at flirting with the witch that had ensorcelled him. Tossing her red hair back again, she started to rise from her crouch so that she could use one of the throwing knives she always carried with her, so that she could practice on her own schedule, to rid the planet of the sorceress. The chirp of a comm-link stopped her.

"Yes Master?" Her beloved's voice was no longer flirtatious.

"Anakin, we've found the man who was behind the attempts on Senator Amidala." The sorceress was a Senator? That explained the sour face.

"Who, Master?"

"I'm triangulating on your position now. I'll be there in ten minutes. I'll explain everything when I get there." An interesting voice. She would think about that later, though.

"So, I can go back to Coruscant now?" The witch's voice was no more attractive than her form or face.

The rage welled up within T'Riche's soul, and suddenly the knife had flown from her hand and into the throat of the sorceress, stopping that awful voice in a thick red gurgle of disbelief.

"Padmé!' He grabbed at the body as it fell and began sobbing pathetic mewlings that turned her stomach. He didn't even notice as she came up behind him and stabbed into his spinal column between the third and fourth vertebra.

 

Oh wow, I wasn't expecting that!

Once she caught up with his head, she kissed the lips tenderly, and cradled him for a moment to reassure him of her lasting love.

What an image. A sociopath running lose in Naboo!

This was really great! I loved the way she stabbed them in the back to paralyze them and then explained the error of their ways.

 

Yeah, she's not a nice person!

Maybe she should have waited a few years and she and Vader could have had a grand old time, murdering and pillaging their way through the galaxy!

Very well done!

 

Where's the twitching eye smilie??

Wow girl...totally scary...spooky that's for sure! Wow and they never knew it was coming...all 3 of'em (and neither the troopers).

Great!!! Perfect Halloween viggie!!

 

Wow - that was twisted! I'd like to see her take down Palpatine. Great Halloween vig!

 

Holy smokes! She's worse than Asajj Ventress. Good entry for the challenge!

 

Yikes! Both Anakin and Padme die?



Great response to the challenge, but very creepy

 

Great job. Loved that she killed them all and was glad when she realized more would come. Creepy and scary! Loved it.

 

Oh that was good, KD. The description, especially involving the woman's mindset, was chilling.

 

Leona Indeed. She does seem a bit dangerous doesn't she? Just don't turn your back.

Anakins_Force Thanks! I like that kind of reaction. A sociopath running lose in Naboo! Well, it is Halloween.

VL Oh Gosh, you're right. A match made in... well somewhere. Actually, I think she's a bit too far gone for even Vader. But, Palpatine maybe. There could almost be a sequel in that. Maybe for Valentine's Day.

Kyn Where's the twitching eye smilie?? You say the sweetest things! Thanks!

DarthMousche I dunno, I kinda like the Valentines idea myself. But yeah, it might be cute if the Empire died out before it ever got started because Palpatine underestimated an obsessed fan.

Jedi-2B Thanks! I'm going to have to look into Ventress. She sounds like my kind of gal.

Kelia Yeah, sorry 'bout that. It's pretty much just her by the end there. Creepy was the aim so I guess I did right.

Diane I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the nudge.

LE Thanks! She does seem to be a bit over the edge doesn't she?

Thank you all very much for reading.

KD

 

Very good KD!