Beyond - Legends Halloween With the Skywalker/Solos (Four very special guests)

Maul loved Halloween.

It was the happiest day of the year for him; the only 24 hour period of time where no one judged him by his looks but instead placed him in the category of "trick-or-treaters." Those inane children. He would have his revenge upon them for ruining his holiday. Ah, the delicious evil of Halloween. Palpatine himself said it was the Sith's time to shine. Maul could have squealed with delight.

He sat in the mall, watching the workers, the children, the shoppers parade about in their costumes. Fools! They did not know the power of Halloween! They could not possibly know the sentimental meaning behind it! Day and night he slaved, for that sacred 24 hours of evil. Even the Rejects could not understand -- they never would. They were not devoted Sith apprentices.

The Food Court, as the refreshment area was so lovingly called, was filled to the brim with these people. Maul glanced over each one briefly, looking for the perfect specimens -- THERE! Three of them, awaiting their food from Chick-Fil-A. Maul clapped his hands together gleefully. He would find a way to crash the Skywalker/Solo party if it was the last thing he did, and these three odd men would help him do it.

The first was quite obviously the leader. He wore a red sweater with green stripes. Knives adored his fingers, and his skin had obviously been scarred very deeply. Maul frowned. The man could pass for a Sith Lord scarier than himself. He would have to discuss this with the man. The next specimen was very tall and broad, and wore a hockey mask. He moved in slow, almost retarded movements. Finally, the last one also wore a mask, but this one was white with red hair and covered his whole head. He wore an asylum suit. Maul was proud.

The three men, upon retrieving their food (after the knife-fingered man appeared to threaten the boy working there at Chick-Fil-A), planted themselves at a table not too far from Maul. Maul, therefore, was able to overhear what they were saying quite clearly.

The knife-fingered man rubbed his hands together. "Halloween. What a wonderful day! Wouldn't you agree, Michael?" he asked, jabbing the third man in the ribs with his elbow.

Michael nodded.

"And you, Jason? Wouldn't you agree?" the knife-fingered man prompted.

Jason scooped up his chicken sandwich. "MEAT!" It was then that Maul felt quite sorry for him, for as Jason attempted to bite the chicken sandwich, mayonaise smeared across his hockey mask.

Knife Fingers glared. "That wasn't cool, Jason."

"Eat your salad, Freddy," Michael said patiently. "I have a very interesting plan."

"Oh?" Freddy inquired eagerly. At Michael's silent chewing, he snapped, "Well, what is it?"

"I believe I might be of assistance," Maul spoke up. Three heads, one irritated, one oblivious, and one mildly interested, turned to look at him. Maul smiled and continued patiently. "You see, these people are throwing a party at their house...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maul had never been nervous before. Apprehensive, yes. Scared crapless, maybe. But nervous was not in the vocabulary of his life. He had thought he didn't believe in it -- until he realized that he was now in the company of three mass murderers, and waiting outside the Skywalker/Solo house. However, this was not the cause of his nervousness. The cause of his nervousness was the fact that they now sat in the middle of the rose garden of one very moody Sith Lord.

"If Vader doesn't kill us, Padmé will," Maul muttered.

"Who the hell is Padmé?" Freddy hissed. "And why do I have a thorn up my buttcheek?"

"Perhaps," Michael said sensibly, "if we moved out of the rose garden...." At Freddy and Maul's looks, he became swiftly silent.

"Flowers pretty," Jason said. He held a rose out to Maul. "Want one?"

"Oh no--"

"What is this?!" came a booming voice from the doorway of the house. "Wha?..." A beat. "MY ROSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Freddy, Maul, and Jason turned to flee in holy terror, but Michael stood up abruptly and squinted. "Vader? Dar

 

For the love of cheese puffs, Kady, I'm laughing too hard to breathe...

CHICK-FIL-A!!!!!! Gosh, I miss that place.

*ahem* Hope you weren't expecting something profound out of me.

Mel

 

LMAO!!!! Kady, that's great!! I almost feel sorry for poor Maul...

 

It's alive...IT'S ALIVE!!!!! YAY FOR S/S!!!!! Loved it, loved it!!

"Mr. Snuggles loves strange weird people!" Oh, Lawd...the gang's all here.

Should we expect to see any MORE of your sketchy movie characters in coming S/S installments, Kady? This fic has just been waiting to be written. Well, well done.

 

"OOPAH!" followed more voices.

"Hey, we're not Greek!"


Okay, I SERIOUSLY want to know who said that.


Love it, Kady dahling!!

 

I loved it! Great stuff, but why didn't this go in the regular S/S thread?

 

ROFLMFAOTMNL



IT IS GUUD.


Uppers.

 

That was freaking hilarious, Kady. Oh my gosh. Figures DV and MM would be friends.

 

High fives to Mel, Mina, and Me for getting colors for a day! WOOO!!! w00t!!! *FIVES*

 

Congrats, you three.

And thanks to everyone for the awesome feedback -- expect something special from Sebby soon.

 

Here is Sebulba2179's completion of the story, which ties in with our round robin, Old Skool With the Skywalker/Solos. Although this post focuses on LOTR characters, Sebby and I (the current orchestrators of this madness) have decided that since it fits in with the round robin, it would be no problem -- hopefully. Due to unfortunate circumstances, Sebbums wasn't able to post this himself, so I have taken up the duty -- enjoy, and be sure to direct the feedback in his direction.
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"Mr. Frodo, why are we all out trick-or-treating?"

"BECAUSE, Sam, Sauron shut off the hot water so we won't be able to take a nice hot bath until we come back with overflowing bags of candy."

"Yeah, but why couldn't he just send the nine out to rake in all his candy for him? I thought New Yorkers were supposed to have 'seen it all'."

"Because he's already got the nine out looking for Gollum, who, I might add, wouldn't have gotten lost in Yonkers if you hadn't scared him off."

Sam rolled his eyes and grumbled darkly under his breath, trudging along next to Frodo. Behind them, Merry and Pippin were arm in arm, skipping down Park Avenue and loudly singing "The Twelve Days of Halloween". "On the fifth day of Halloween, the Dark Lord gave to me, fiiive rings of dooooom...four skeletons, three witch brooms, two black crows, and an owl in a dead tree!"

"It's useless," Sam muttered to Frodo, jerking his thumb at the other two hobbits. "Every yuppie in Manhattan is going to hear this racket."

Relegating Sam's complaints to the back of his mind, Frodo edged his way to the front door of the next house. He banged on the door, finding to his exasperation that the only way to shut the other two up was to twap Pippin across the back of the head. As all four held their breath in anticipation, the door eased open...

"Trick or - "

"ELBERETH!!!" Sam hollered, dropping his bag of candy. Swiping Sting from Frodo's belt, he raised the sword in one hand and the other in a tight fist.

"Aww, not you again!" Peter Parker cried, slamming the door. Ostensibly he was retreating back into the house, but not one to be hindered, Sam bolted from the doorstep and dashed for the side door. His spidery curses and yells could no doubt be heard as far away as 125th Street.

"One of those two has to move to Dallas," Merry sighed.

"So what do we do now?" Pippin asked.

Shrugging, Frodo picked up Sam's discarded candy bag and held it aloft, grinning. "More for us," he said sprightly. Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he headed back down to the sidewalk and led Merry and Pippin to the next house.

**********

"How many rolls have we got left?" Aragorn called over his shoulder.

"Enough to T.P. the entire village," Boromir called from the back of Aragorn's van, where he was stacking up packages of toilet paper. They had been cruising through Brooklyn Heights for the past hour, pausing at the houses of city and school officials who had upset Sauron just a bit too much, and miring them in toilet paper. "You know, Aragorn, there's an easier way to do this."

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "NO, Boromir, you can't have the damn ring," he snapped.

"Who said anything about the damn ring? Just look for my lovestruck little brother and stuff some of this into his pockets. He'll never get away with it."

"Yeah, not till he blames you," Aragorn countered. "Okay, here's the Willoughby place."

"Who the hell is Willoughby?"

"Remember the twerp who thought Sam and Rosie were skipping school and sent the truant officer over to Sauron's? The Balrog took care of the TO, but Willoughby never took the hint, and he just got home from vacation in Virginia Beach."

"Which means he's watching taped Yankees-Red Sox games right now," Boromir grinned. "Pull 'er up!" With a grand flourish, he pulled down a bag of thin, coarse toilet paper and unwrapped it, pulling out three 60-yard rolls.

Aragorn stopped the van underneath a l

 

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too wonderful!!

 

*wipes away the tears*

Kades, Seb, that was priceless.

 

*claps hands wildly*

Encore! Encore!! That was so great. I love these guys.

 

ROTLFMAO

That was too funny, you two!!!

 

pretty funny
excellent for hallween