Before "Hallucinations" For the Fan Fiction Contest [Updated March 29] Obi and Qui HUMOR!! Now Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Padawan_Jess_Kenobi, Mar 16, 2003.

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  1. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Title: Hallucinations
    Author: Padawan_Jess_Kenobi
    Notes: This is for the fan fiction Contest


    Obi-Wan was grudgingly walking to his room, when his Master called him over. "Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, "do you think you could an errand for me in the city? I am out of that tea that I really like and I was wondering if you would go get it for me."

    Obi-Wan craned his neck so he could properly look at his tall Master, "But Master, I was just about to go do my homewo-" A sudden thought struck him. If he did his Master's little errand, then that would put off hi homework for a while. He had tons of astromath homework that he would rather not deal with at the moment, "I mean, I will be delighted to go to the city Master! Anything for my much-loved wonderful Master!" He called off as he skipped into the other room to grab his robe.

    Qui-Gon shook his head, and when Obi-Wan came back, he deposited a few extra credits into the outstretched hand, thinking that that was the reason for his padawan's unexplainable merriment.

    Obi-Wan took the credits and shoved them into his pocket, feeling pretty happy at that moment. He called out a goodbye, and rushed out the door, slamming it unintentionally behind him.

    Qui-Gon rolled his eyes, Teenagers. he thought to himself. He then turned to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator unit. "I wonder if that little termite I live with has left any food at all in this place," Qui-Gon muttered to himself, referring to how Obi-Wan had the tendency to eat a rather large amount of food in an abnormally small period of time. "If I know Obi-Wan, then he will buy some food with that extra money I gave him." Qui-Gon was talking to himself as he pulled out a couple vegetables from the near- empty refrigerator unit. "Just as I suspected," he mumbled to himself, "he left all the semi-healthy food, and ate all the junk food." He took a seat on the couch and pulled out his favorite book. He munched on the carrot, and started to read.

    Obi-Wan strolled through the halls off the Jedi Temple, feeling proud of himself that he was being trusted to go to the city by himself. And he was also pretty happy that he was able to procrastinate on his homework. He exited the Temple, and called over an air taxi.

    Obi-Wan looked out of the rather large window, and into the sky of Coruscant. It was a bright sunny day, and rays of light bathed the city below. The taxi came to a stop in front of a store. He had been there so many times with his Master, he could have gotten there with his eyes closed. The shop was called "Rogeerto's Shop for Tea and More."

    Obi-Wan paid the driver, careful to leave an adequate tip. He got out of the air taxi and began to walk toward the shop. He noticed a couple Twile'k females stop to look and giggle at him. He winked at them, laughing softly as one fell off the bike she was riding.

    He pushed open the door, hearing the primitive bell on top of the door chime, announcing someone was entering the shop. Obi-Wan was immediately surrounded by a chubby human man, presumably the owner of the store. He seemed to bounce around the young padawan, who was feeling quite dizzy at the moment.

    "Why hello, my young Boy!" The man called out in a thick voice. "What can I do to help you?" He moved around a little bit more, bouncing around the young padawan. Obi-Wan's sea blue eyes followed the movements involuntarily.

    Soon he could not take it anymore, and roughly put a hand on the man's porky shoulder. "Stop it!" He commanded loudly, holding the man down. "I can find what I need by myself, thank you."

    He scurried away into the tea section, not feeling so jovial anymore. "Just find the tea, buy something for yourself, and go." He muttered through clenched teeth. He scanned the shelves until he came across the correct tea his Master was looking for. "Extra Herb Revolutionary Lemon-Raspberry Tea" Obi-Wan made a face, he hated this stuff, and couldn't see why his Master liked it so much.

    Holding the tea package in one hand, he set out around the store to look for something chea
  2. SHADOW13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2003
    star 1
    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    especially the end
  3. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Thanks Shadow!! :D I'm working on a post soon. :D
  4. MYSTIC_KNIGHT Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 4
    hehehe. I like it. It´s funny.
  5. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    OUCH! WHACK! Right into the wall! HA! Fun story, Jess! Is there more?


    Obi
  6. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    MYSTIC_KNIGHT: Thanks!

    Obi the Kid:Ha ha! Thanks! Yup, there is more! Thanks for reading
  7. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    LOL! Good one Jess! :) Poor Obi!
  8. MYSTIC_KNIGHT Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 4
  9. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Jemmiah: Thanks! Poor Obi indeed. [face_devil]

    MYTIC_KNIGHTL I appreciate your enthusiasm. Here's the next (short) post.







    "Pardon me Monsieur" Obi-Wan said as he rubbed his now bruised head, and then walked off in the opposite direction. He looked at his wrist, and made himself see a chronowatch. "Egad!" he exclaimed loudly, hitting himself on his red-head dramatically. "Quiggy-Wiggy is going to kill me if I don't get home soon!"

    He called over an air taxi, and hopped in. The driver was the same one that had escorted him before, do Obi-Wan tapped him on the shoulder. "So, this is what you do for a living?"

    The man looked back, "Well, this is my secondary job. I need to support my wife. We are having a new child soon, and I'm working on to jobs to get the money."

    Obi-Wan leaned back in the furnished seat, "Ah, I see. And how is you wife taking your pregnancy?"

    The driver's voice came confused for a moment, "she is taking her pregnancy well, and is very happy."

    Obi-Wan waved his hand around in the air as if pushing the statement aside. "Ah yes, my dear man, I'm sure she would take it fine. But how is she taking your pregnancy? It must be quite a shock, eh old chap?"

    The man turned his head around sharply, but then remembered he was the one driving, and turned back around. "Er, sir, I'm not pregnant. I am a man, sir."

    Obi-Wan barely moved from his position, "Well, you look pregnant! Look at that stomach, it?s the size of Naboo!"

    The driver looked down at his flat, extremely skinny form. "Sir, I am not fat."

    Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and took another look at the man's stomach. "No, you're right, you are not, and one day banthas will run around joyfully singing and proposing wedding rings to mynocks.

    The driver kept quiet, until they had reached the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan handed him some paper, but it was not Republic Credits. "Sir," the driver said, starting to get upset, "this is not money."

    Obi-Wann got out of the taxi, but then stuck his head through the open window. "Sure, sure, old chap, first you tell me you're not pregnant, then you're not fat, and now you are accusing me of lying and giving you fake money! I am appalled my good man. Good day." He drew his head back, managing to hit his skull on the top of the vehicle.

    Obi-Wan set of at a leisurely pace, and took out the box of candies from a spot on his belt. He picked out a yellow colored one, and popped it into his mouth, savoring the rich, yet strange taste. His boot his something on the ground, and Obi-Wan bent down to look at it? and promptly let out a piercing scream, and pointed at the object in horror.

    Soon, the Coruscant Police had rushed over to the young Jedi, who was still pointing, frozen, at the object. "What's the matter, son?" a skinny, elderly man asked.

    "S?sn?snake! Snake! Snake!" Obi-Wan jumped up in terror.

    The Police Officer bent down to examines the "snake." "Son, that's just a piece of string!" Obi-Wan let out another cry, which pierced the air loudly.

    "That's not a piece of string! It?s a s?sn?snake! Snake! Snake!"

    The Officer rubbed his forehead, feeling a strong migraine coming on. "I repeat, it is just a piece of string, nothing to worry about."

    "I am a Jedi, and I demand that you disintegrate that snake! Now!"

    "?Son." The Police Officer argued. What kind of a nutcase was this Jedi?

    "First of all, I am not your son, second of all, destroy that sithly snake before it spreads its reign of insurmountable terror all over Coruscant!"

    The Officer had decided to give up on arguing. "How do you propose I destroy this, 'snake'?"

    "Blast it. Blast it, please!" Obi-Wan let out a yelp, and all the people that were crowded around him backed away a little.

    The Officer groaned, and took out his blaster. He turned it on low, and aimed it towards the 'snake.' A red beam came out of the front of the weapon, and the string now lay in a black, charred appearance.

    Obi-Wan let out a woop, and jumped up in excitement. "Thank you! What is your name,
  10. Neon Star Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 2000
    star 5
    :eek: He...he... Ai!

    Okay, Obi cut his braid off... :eek: Getting over shock...

    Excellent work, Padawan! Your work is imporving with every step, and your talent is constant. :) Rather funny, heh, with Obi seeing all those things, and talking British I believe? Heh, looks like your love of the language has spread, eh? ;) Though I could be wrong.. Very funny so far, and you have to feel sorry for poor Obi, once he finds out what he's done. Heh, will be looking forward to more. :)
  11. SHADOW13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2003
    star 1
    LOL

    I nearly started crying with laughter

    I wanna know what happens next
  12. MYSTIC_KNIGHT Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2002
    star 4
  13. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Master: Excellent work, Padawan! Your work is imporving with every step, and your talent is constant. Rather funny, heh, with Obi seeing all those things, and talking British I believe? Heh, looks like your love of the language has spread, eh? Though I could be wrong.. Very funny so far, and you have to feel sorry for poor Obi, once he finds out what he's done. Heh, will be looking forward to more. [face_love] Thank you, Master! Yea, Obi is going to be quite surprised when he finds out he cut off his own braid... ;) Thank you for the kind words. :)

    SHADOW13: Lol. Glad you fuond it funny!

    MYSTIC_KNIGHT: Thanks for reading!!
    Ok guys, this is the last part. I must admit that this is definately *not* one of my favorite stories I have ever written. :( Oh well...





    Obi-Wan now walked through the corridors of the Temple, taking a couple minutes to stop and stare at all the Knights. He finally found himself outside the doors to his quarters. He entered the door code, and strode casually into the room. Qui-Gon heard him enter, and stood up from his position on the couch, and eyed his padawan.

    There was something? different about him. Something Qui-Gon couldn't quite put his finger on. He looked at Obi-Wan's face. He looked the same, yet his face had a somewhat? drunken look to it. Qui-Gon's couldn't contemplate this much further, as it was at that moment that Obi-Wan ran across the room and gave him a huge hug. "Quiggy-Qiggy!" Obi-Wan exclaimed loudly, squeezing all the air out of his Master's lungs.

    Qui-Gon mouth dropped open slightly. Quiggy-Wiggy? What was wrong with Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan sank onto the floor, craning his head up dramatically. "You're so tall, Quiggy! I may need a ladder to look at you!" he then moved his head even further backwards, and promptly fell over. Qui-Gon leaned down and picked up his apprentice.

    "What's wrong, Obi-Wan? What did you have? What did you drink?"

    Obi-Wan giggled loudly, and started playing with Qui-Gon's long brown hair. "I almost got attacked by a snake today. A snake was on my head, on the ground. Wanna candy?"

    Qui-Gon's face remained impassive. "No. I want to know if you are drunk or not, and what happened." What was wrong with his apprentice? Qui-Gon wondered. He might have thoughts of killing the boy if he did not 'fess up soon. "And since when did you have an accent like that?"

    But Obi-Wan only giggled, and slapped Qui-Gon across the face, muttering "bad girl." "I tell y'all what happen, after ya eat da candy, mah dawg." And he pulled out the brightly decorated box, and held it out to his Master.

    Mah dawg? He must be worse off than I had originally thought But Qui-Gon took the candy, and put one in his mouth. It seemed eating it would be the only way that Obi-Wan would tell him what happened. His head started to spin a little, and his mind felt different. But it was wonderful! What was his question before? Qui-Gon giggled, who cared? He helped Obi-Wan up. "You alright, Obi-Wobi?"

    "I'm good. Peace." Obi-Wan looked up at his Master's head, and screamed once again. "Snakes! On your head! On your head!"

    Qui-Gon held a piece of his hair in front of him, and also let out a shriek. "Get it off, get it off!"

    Obi-Wan took out his lightsaber. "Now, hold still?" and he disgustingly held his Master hair in one hand. He swung the lightsaber around, and about five inches of hair fell off Qui-Gon's head onto the floor. Qui-Gon hugged his padawan, and stroked his head. "Good paddywan, you saved your Master's life. Good padd-paddy-wan."

    The doorbell rung loudly, and Obi-Wan slithered across the floor to open the door. Master Yoda stood at the doorway, looking solemn as always. Obi-Wan let out a shrill laugh. "Green trolly had no pants on! No clothes? green troll looks like Yaddle, only more balder-er. Short stubby legs, ewwwww, green ears, shake that booty, trolly!"

    Master Yoda's eyes opened widely in shock. "What saying are you, Padawan Kenobi?"

    Obi-Qan fell face first onto the
  14. SHADOW13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2003
    star 1
    I've done it I've got 100 posts before April!

    LOL, I almost choked to death on a serbert lemon 'cause i was laughing so much. LOL
  15. mad4dos Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 1
    very very funny (almost droped my laptop it was so funny) keepit up (is there any more ? if not sequal maybe ?)
    mad4dos
  16. lou146 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2003
    this was great, i have just finished reading it and i was choking up with laughter
    i hope theres a kind of sequel, please
  17. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Heh lost track of this story for a little while! 8-}

    SHADOW13: Congradualtions at getting 100 posts before April! :cool:LOL, I almost choked to death on a serbert lemon 'cause i was laughing so much. LOL Glad it was that funny, and glad you didn't die, unless I never would have gotten your review! 8-} 8-}

    mad4dos: very very funny (almost droped my laptop it was so funny) keepit up (is there any more ? if not sequal maybe ?) Thanks! :D Sorry, there is no more. See, this fic was for the fan fiction contest, and you can have no more than 6 posts. I had other ideas, but there was o way I could have fit them in another three posts, and absolutely no way I could have donw it by the deadline. :( But perhaps I may start a sequel on this... :D

    lou146: First off, I have to say this, I love ( [face_love]) your icon!!! :D this was great, i have just finished reading it and i was choking up with laughter I'm always glad when my stories amuse people so. :)
    i hope theres a kind of sequel, please Perhaps there may be a sequel, since I've gotten a couple requests on it. Thank you sincerily for reading! :)
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