Happy Canada Day!!!

Discussion in 'Albuquerque, NM' started by Wook, Jul 1, 2005.

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  1. Wook Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2002
    star 4
    Yeah, July 4th is a few days away, but today we take the time to appreciate our northern neighbors & those with proud Canadian heritage (CaptCanuck,Hayden...*sigh* SO HAWT =P~)...sorry, umm, so in honor of this day I give to you:

    FUN FACTS ABOUT CANADA (*YES - THIS IS A JOKE*)

    * Canada was originally populated by peoples loyal to Britain and dumb people who just got lost.

    * Canada is still technically owned by England and has to dance for them when commanded.

    * That happens usually three times a year.

    * The border between U.S. and Canada is the longest unprotected border in the world. There are plans to mine it, set up video cameras all along it, and not tell Canada for a new Fox special called When Americans Are B@stards.

    * It is rumored Canada has its own military. Their most powerful weapon is the telephone with which they can call America and say, "Help! We're being invaded, eh!"

    * Canadians are almost as genetically similar to humans as the chimpanzee.

    * Was originally called Cana, but, since everyone there said, "I live in Cana, duuuuh," the name Canada eventually stuck.

    * For the same reasons, it will eventually be known as Canadada.

    * Their national symbol is the most evil of leafs, the Maple Leaf, a.k.a. Satan's Palm.

    * In a fight between Aquaman and a maple leaf... actually, a maple leaf is even too lame for Aquaman. Our national symbol, the bald eagle, would whup Aquaman's @ss, though.

    * Canadians pretend to be peaceful, but more Canadians are murdered in Canada every year than any other country.

    * Canada modeled their currency after ours just to annoy us when we accidentally get useless Canadian trinkets in change instead of hard American currency.

    * Canada has a picture of a queen on their money to show their contempt for democracy.

    * A large minority of Canadians speak French, and they boss around the rest of the Canadians. Bossed around by French-speaking people - that's so pathetic I can't even imagine it.

    * Canadians think they are superior to Americans. The rational basis for this is unknown.

    * Canada holds up a sham democracy to try and be accepted by the civilized world, but in fact all real decisions are made by their moose overlord.

    * It's a myth that the normal way a Canadian says "about" is so that it rhymes with "boot". It just happens that a lot of Canadians are retarded.

    * The northern area of Canada is technically God-forsaken. If anyone there has a prayer, he or she first has to mail it to an American priest for God to hear it.

    * Most of the prayers involve hockey and are promptly ignored.

    * If a Canadian ever tries to express an opinion about America, hit him on the head with a rolled up newspaper while shouting, "No!" You have to catch them in the act or they'll never learn.

    * Canada has gone its entire history without doing anything of note, something almost unheard of for a country its size.

    * Canada has become an entry point for terrorist which has caused Canada's boring index to decrease slightly.

    * Canada has no known industry. It's believed all their income comes from sales of syrup and hockey tickets.

    * Canadians have universal healthcare. The way they afford it is making people wait so long that most die before seeing a doctor.

    * Canadians are completely harmless, but don't assume someone who is wearing a hockey mask is Canadian. The people at Crystal Lake made that mistake and, well, it was messy.

    * Canadians don't have any nuclear missiles because we decided they are not mature enough for them. Maybe when they?re older.

    * Canadians have national gun registration. While solving no crime, the excessive amount of money the initiative has taken has foiled Canada's evil schemes to make mutant snow monkeys.

    * If ever attacked by a Canadian... well... beat the crap out of him. What? You can't take a Canadian? What kind of pansy are you?

    * This list would be classified as a hate crime in Canada.

    * Actually, most Canadians who read this list would just say,
  2. skyra Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 9, 2001
    star 3
    Those are some great ones Wook! And, Happy Canada Day to our fine Canadian Mos Alba folks and of course to Hayden!! Oh, also William Shatner, and Michael J. Fox.
  3. Wook Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2002
    star 4
    They weren't mine...so don't hate me, Capt Canuck!

    so to make up for that rude injustice:

    *clears throat*

    O Canada!
    Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.

    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!

    From far and wide,
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


    [:D]=D=

    Other fine Canadians - Dan Aykroyd, Sarah McLachlan, Shania Twain, BareNaked Ladies, Pamela Anderson, Avril Lavigne
  4. ObeyTheFist Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2004
    star 4
    Canada is the home of the greatest teen show int he world - Degrassi JH! I just put the DVDs on my netflix list!
  5. Commander_Clem Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2005
    star 4
    C eh N eh D eh! Capt Canuck....So, what do happy Canadians do? Butter tarts and Molson? Curling?
  6. Capt_Canuck Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 1
    I did have some Molson, mmmmm Molson , once I escaped from work.. Then as if a present, UPS delivered 2 hockey jerseys to me. An old school nucks Jersey and a Sweet Pro Weight Bert Jersey.

    As for the Frogs... Umm I mean the French Canadians.. They are about as useless as the actual french.. Ribbit... Ribbit..

    As for the Maple Leafs.. Yes they are truly evil. Damn Toronto Maple Leafs!!!!

    [face_dancing]
  7. Qui-Gon-Matt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 2005
    star 4
    I'm drinking a 12 pack of Moosehead tonight in honor of my Canadian brothers.
  8. propgeek1701 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2005
    star 3
    All these years, I've been pronouncing it Canadia. Is that wrong?

    -pg
  9. Commander_Clem Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2005
    star 4
    C eh N eh D eh...Canada..
  10. ObeyTheFist Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2004
    star 4
    did anyone else watch the Simply Canadian special on VH1 last night?
  11. Wook Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2002
    star 4
    nope...was it funny?
  12. ObeyTheFist Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2004
    star 4
    actually it was hilarous! they had a bunch of canadian comedians comentating on it so it was great... the honored the Simply Canadainan Police - the Quebec language police, never knew there was such a thing.

    did you know that they put a government limit on how much brian adams could be played on the radio at one point?
  13. Wook Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2002
    star 4
    I believe that one. Bryan Adams is evilllll.....

    Just found this quote from my fav Canadian:
    <---- ;)


    "Bryan Adams,pro or con?

    "Con.Celine Dion-con.We apologize for them."
  14. bobasparxx Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 3
    My family migrated from Russia/Europe and settled in Toronto/Windsor in 1912. How I ended up in California is beyond me. Them crazy Canadians.

    I spent my Summer at my Grandmas house back in 85'. I remember going to see Back to the Future and The Goonies out there. They play O' Cananda at the fricken theater before the movie starts! I didnt know what to do...should I take my hat off, or put my right hand over my heart? I just stood there with a blank look at the screen like the rest of the Canadians. But when I saw The Goonies, I didn't stand. I always sat in the front row. I thought to myself, hey I'm from AMERICA...were untouchable! I looked back at the audience, and everyone was giving me evil looks.

    I can narrate that Summer like an episode of The Wonder Years.
  15. bobasparxx Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 3
    Oh yeah, something good that came out of Canada-Kids in the Hall! "I am going to crush you!"
  16. Wook Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2002
    star 4
    that was a great show! How come I never see reruns of that?
  17. bobasparxx Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2003
    star 3
    It used to come on Comedy Central late at night. Not sure if it still does.
  18. ObeyTheFist Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2004
    star 4
    no not anymore but you can see 2 of the Kids in the Hall in the upcoming movie: Sky High - with Bruce Campbell.

    Another good thing from Canada - Michael J. Fox! and You Can't Do that on Television! Jim Carrey!

    and boba - I would of given you evil looks if you had done that during the US national athenme
  19. Capt_Canuck Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 1
    Thanks for mentioning the Kids in the Hall.. I am gonna be up most of the night watching the Season 1 and Season 2 DVDs. And while doing so, wondering which one of my co-workers is which character.. like the Chicken Lady.. etc :)



    Off to the Fridge for some Coffee Crisp and Molson...
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