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South East Harrassment Policy

Discussion in 'South East Regional Discussion' started by Jedi Trace, Aug 10, 2008.

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  1. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Dec 15, 1999
    For those of you who haven't heard and don't venture into Comms, the mods recently handled a very serious sexual harassment case. Because of that, we have [link=] a new policy[/link] that we urge you to read. There's also a header link in case you can't find the thread in Comms and we're asking the CR's to post it on their chapter boards as well.

    We want you to feel safe when you're in these forums. Whether you're male or female, and whether the harassment is sexual or otherwise, please know that you can always talk to us if someone directs a comment your way or sends you a PM that crosses your personal line. Don't worry about how brief the comment is, or whether or not the person is also communicating with others. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, you have every right to speak up. Please let us know. You can contact me, any of the RSA's or a JC mod. We will investigate every complaint.

    Ways to spot harassment, courtesy of ophelia:

    (Although the examples below refer to "him" and "guys" and other male pronouns, remember that both males and females can be victims, and both males and females can be aggressors.)

    [blockquote]It's the ones who slowly get you to trust them, kind of, and then gradually build up your tolerance for more and more creepy behavior that become the stalkers from hell. Been there, done that, sadly, although I wasn't a target of the individual some people here have been discussing.

    Just in case we've got some people out there who think they have no right to complain until somebody's sending them 4-letter words and threatening to come to their houses, I'll point out some "little" things that you have every right to complain about:

    1) One-sided conversations in which the other person asks or demands a lot of information about you, but never says much about himself. Real friendship is reciprocal--people exchange information; they don't interrogate each other. The attention can seem flattering at first, but if you give away too much info about yourself, you could find yourself faced with an obsessed guy who can find you any time he wants, whether you want him to or not.

    2) Somebody who always wants to know where you're going, where you've been, or demands an explanation if you can't talk to him. Unless you're under 18 and it's your mom asking, the other person has no right even to ask.

    3) Somebody who continually tries to nag/beg/flatter you into doing something you've already said you don't want to do. Even if they're charming and funny about it, and you wonder if it might be a joke, you don't have to listen to someone continually asking for your phone number, or n00dz, or to describe what you're wearing, or anything else. If the guy really is charming and harmless, he'll stop asking the first time you say "No."

    4) Somebody who's sweet and fun until you give him an answer he doesn't want to hear--then he turns ugly. Just because you said or did something that made him mad does not mean you owe him anything. A genuine friend can accept "No, I don't like/want that" without feeling the need to punish you with accusations or insulting little jabs over PM or on the boards.

    5) Basically, anything that makes you feel like a first grader whose 5th grade "friend" is "asking" for your lunch money. Exploitation can be done with a smile, and one of the easiest ways to keep using people is to be nice to them in between taking stuff from them. This is not friendship, no matter how fun the other person is when he's not after you for something.[/blockquote]

    If you have any questions about this policy, feel free to ask here or in Comms.

    (Intro courtesy of JadeSolo.)
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