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Saga HARRY POTTER AND THE DARK LORD OF THE SITH (HP/SW OT-era crossover) Completed 6/16 Survey up 6/19

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by TheProphetOfSullust, Jan 25, 2005.

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  1. TheProphetOfSullust

    TheProphetOfSullust Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2003
    Chapter 65.

    Harry was shocked. ?But I haven't even graduated myself??

    ?We can consider extenuating circumstances,? McGonagall smiled. ?And you can't deny that you have the practical experiences.?

    ?Harry!? Hermione looked at him. ?But that job is jinxed!?

    ?It was jinxed by Voldemort, who did that because Dumbledore refused to give it to him. I think with Voldemort's death, the magic would wear off.?

    ?If you don't like it, you can certainly leave after one year,? McGonagall said.

    ?Thereby keeping the curse intact,? Harry chuckled. ?Very well. But I don't think I'll be teaching them to fight with lightsabers,? he said quickly.

    ?I wouldn't ask you to,? McGonagall said. ?But then, in a few years, some people from this world might attend Hogwarts.?

    ?Maybe. And being at Hogwarts without Voldemort out for my hide will be something...?

    ?Thank you, Mr. Potter,? McGonagall said before departing. ?For everything.?

    Harry turned around, and watched the celebrations. He had his arm wrapped around Ginny's shoulders, gently squeezing them. He then let go, and approached Luke, who was standing aside from the rest, looking out into the forest. Ginny and Leia watched then from behind.

    Harry saw a flash of light, and raised his eyebrows. He looked at Luke, who nodded, indicating he saw it too. The ghost of Obi-wan Kenobi appeared in front of them.

    Obi-Wan's ghost was joined by Yoda, then a tall young man with curly blond hair that Harry recognized as being the young version of Anakin Skywalker, under that mask.

    A new ghost appeared. Dumbledore. Another. Sirius Black. A young man with dark hair and glasses, who looked like him?his father, James Potter. A red-haired woman with bright green eyes... and another one just like her, only with brighter hair and dressed in a jumpsuit rather than robes. Lily Potter and Mara Jade.

    The ghosts smiled at them, and Harry couldn't help but smile back. There was a magic here beyond any of them... the magic of people, from different worlds, who lived so long under the shadow of the dark lords and their followers, gathered to celebrate their new lives?lives free of oppression, hiding, threats to them and their loved ones?lives possible, thanks to the many thousands of people, some of whom did not live to see this, whose valiant efforts made sure that this day?the day that evil lost?would come.
     
  2. FORCEBlLADE

    FORCEBlLADE Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2003
    Alright first post. Nice little chapter there. Harry sees Dumbledore, Sirius, his parents and Mara Jade. That was emotional.
     
  3. SuperSaiyaMan12

    SuperSaiyaMan12 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2005
    Wow...nice ending. So...what's next? I'd like a PM for anything you write.
     
  4. Diamond_Revelation

    Diamond_Revelation Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Argh I missed a couple of chapters but I made it for the end! That was a great ending and its nice to think that they will be able to move back a forth between the two worlds!! I am glad Hermione and Wedge are going to marry!

    This has been a great story TheProphetOfSullust its been really nice to read a HP/SW crossover that isn't just a parody or silly humor! Great Job!
     
  5. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Sorry for jumping the gun. I didn't know what "penultimate" meant. Okay, now it's over, right?

    Can you PM me with anything else you write? This was faboulous (if long, but nothing wrong with that) and I'd like to see more.
     
  6. masterjedi343

    masterjedi343 Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2005
    =D= =D= excellent ending!! sad to see it end,this has been one of the best crossovers I've ever read!.PM me as well with anything else you write! :)
     
  7. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2005
    Awesome ending, Prophet!!

    May I ask for an epilogue? I certainly enjoyed this fic very much and I'm somewhat sad that it's now over.
     
  8. TigerofRobare

    TigerofRobare Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2006
    I meant perform, as in officiate. If you had Luke and Harry marry each other, that would be most--uh--unexpected.

    Great story!

    I don't think it's possible to say that too many times about this piece de resistance.

    How about it everyone, 2006 Summer Fanfic Award for Best Crossover: Harry Potter and the Dark Lord of the Sith.
     
  9. QUIGONSGAL

    QUIGONSGAL Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2005
    =D= =D= =D= =D= Great ending dude! I loved it. Now, all you have to do is write what happens when Harry goes to teach at Hogwarts. Hm, maybe the Solo twins will attend when they're old enough, it's a thought.

    Of course there's going to be Hermione and Wedge's kids, Harry's and Ginny's, Ron's and Jan's, and maybe even Luke's kids, should he ever meet someone.

    All those kids at Hogwarts...

    Kind of frightening, isn't it?

    MWAHAHAHAHA!
     
  10. jaina_clan_solo

    jaina_clan_solo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2005
    Wonderful ending! I like how you had the ghosts from both realities show up at the end.

    This has been a great read, I'm sorry to see it end.

    Thank you for sharing it with us.

    jcs
     
  11. TigerofRobare

    TigerofRobare Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2006
    I got a plot-bunny tingling with Quigonsgal's last post:

    The Solo twins have turned eleven and Han and Leia want them to learn both magic and the ways of the Force, so they are apprenticed to the incouragable Fred and George. The two sets of twins procede to prank their way across two galaxies.
     
  12. TheProphetOfSullust

    TheProphetOfSullust Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2003
    FORCEBILADE: Thank you. And it was supposed to be.

    SuperSaiyaMan12: Sure, I'll PM you.

    Diamond_Revelation: Glad you like it. There are many good crossovers out there, but most aren't finished. It took almost a year an a half for me. I put in a lot of time. Many people don't realize that a crossover must be longer than an average single-fandom story to work well.

    Exxaciel: You didn't? *shrugs* Well, you do now. Yes, it's the end. And I'll PM you. I might do a sequel for this, you know.

    masterjedi343: Thank you. No problem.

    Idrelle_Miocovani: The last chapter was a kind of epilogue. I know the feeling (for me, it was over a few months before, with only minor, mostly cosmetic changes coming afterwards).

    TigerofRobare: Yes, it would be. Not to mention a violation of TOS, and would get this story banned.

    OK... it was nominated for both Summer 2005 and Winter 2006, but lost both times. Third time's the charm, right?

    QUIGONSGAL: Thank you. And I might write just that... so, what Hogwarts houses the Solo kids would get in? I'd send Jaina to Slytherin.

    Who would Luke meet, now that Mara is dead? (and yes, she is) No, there will be no other clone. Any ideas?

    jaina_clan_solo: That was the idea. Thank you. I'm thrilled someone enjoyed my writing.

    Now, I would like ask you all for some feedback. Take a few minutes to answer some specific questions I have that would greatly help me improve my writing in the future, and also get a feel for what parts of the story people like. Please complete the following survey:

    Conclusion Survey


    Section 1. Story
    1.Did you like the story?
    2.What do you think of the premise?
    3.Is the plot believable?
    4.Is the pacing too fast, or too slow?
    5.Do the scenes flow nicely into one another?
    6.Was it easy to follow the separate storylines?
    7.Did you like how I made the original storylines fit in with canon material?
    8.Was the conclusion satisfactory? Should there have been more?
    9.Please give an overall, honest rating for this story, on a 1-10 scale.

    Section 2. Scenes

    10.What was your favorite scene?
    11.What was your least favorite scene?
    12.What parts of the story did you like the most (action, romance, HP characters learning about the new universe, etc)?
    13.What parts of the story did you like least?
    14.Did you like my original storylines? Are they believable?
    15.Are the scene breaks in the right places? Are there too many cliffhangers?
    16.What was your favorite cliffhanger?

    Section 3. Writing mechanics

    17.Does the story flow well? Is it easy to read?
    18.Do I have too many spelling and grammar errors?
    19.Do I use italics too much?
    20.Do I use ellipses too much?
    21.What do you think of my writing style?

    Section 4. Characterization

    22.Who was your favorite character?
    23.Who was your least favorite character?
    24.Are the SW canon characters believably written?
    25.Are the HP canon characters believably written?
    26.Are the original characters good characters? Do they add or retract?
    27.Overall, do the characters, as I wrote them, feel like the canon characters we know, or just some odd people with canon names slapped on them?

    Section 5. Action

    28.Were the space battles well-written?
    29.Were the ground combat scenes well written?
    30.Were the lightsaber duels well written?
    31.What dueld did you like best: First Harry/Mara, Hermione/Roganda, first Harry/Voldemort, second Harry/Mara (Mara under Imperius), Ron/Snape, or the final Death Star duel?
    32.What did you think of the combat between Hermione and Roganda (the only one with only wand magic on one side and Force and lightsaber on the other)?
    33.What did you think of the escape from Coruscant?
    34.What did you think of the fight Hermione and Wedge engaged in on Suran Minor?
    35.Overall, did you like reading the action sequences, or did you skip over them?

    Section 6. Romance
    36.Wedge/Hermione: appropriate, believable?
    37.Ron/Jan: appropriate, believable?
    38.Harr
     
  13. TheProphetOfSullust

    TheProphetOfSullust Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2003
    TigerofRobare: You got that in right as I was posting my stuff. Nice idea... Don't think it'll work. Besides, do you want Fred and George to learn the mind trick?
     
  14. JediPotter

    JediPotter Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Maybe it is time to do Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Jedi Acadamy
     
  15. Darth-Lutgerous

    Darth-Lutgerous Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 24, 2005
    I know it's been sometime since you've posted this questionnaire, but now that I have some free time, I'll answer it. :) I hope I can remember what happened earlier in the story (like in ANH and ESB)! [face_praying]


    Section 1. Story
    1.Did you like the story? Yes, I enjoyed the story and it is one of my favorites in fanfiction. It actually made me want to join the forums as a user and post my comments. :D
    2.What do you think of the premise? It was very strong. Details, main ideas, plot, etc. went together very well.
    3.Is the plot believable? For the most part, yes (according to the Harry Potter and Star Wars universes). But is the stories of Star Wars and Harry Potter believable? I wish they were.
    4.Is the pacing too fast, or too slow? The pacing was great, keeping me at the edge of my seat, especially during battles and crucial scenes.
    5.Do the scenes flow nicely into one another? Of course. I enjoyed the way you connected the scenes, even if it meant
    waiting for more updates to find if for example, Voldemort had killed Harry. I thought it read like a thriller, being very suspenseful, and even seemed like some of Dan Brown's works (The Da Vinci Code).
    6.Was it easy to follow the separate storylines? Yes. I liked your strategy, especially during ESB, in which you alternated chapters with the different storylines (Luke/Harry, Han/Leia/Ron, Hermione/Wedge).
    7.Did you like how I made the original storylines fit in with canon material? I didn't mind it. I do not really follow the EU storylines, but I was eager to learn more about Mara, Kyle, Jan, Thrawn, etc.
    8.Was the conclusion satisfactory? Should there have been more? The conclusion worked well, but it did seem like it was a bit excessive, especially since so many couples got together. I don't think that Voldemort would have picked a living being as a horcrux either. Maybe there should've been more deaths, like Rowling will surely have in Book 7. When it is published, you could even alter your story so that the conclusion is similar to Rowling's.
    9.Please give an overall, honest rating for this story, on a 1-10 scale. 9/10 It was a great read and kept me posting and reading for almost a year.

    Section 2. Scenes
    10.What was your favorite scene? I enjoyed many scenes from ANH, especially the first time Harry, Ron, and Hermione realized they were in another world and the Battle of Yavin. Hermione's time with Wedge in ESB, Harry and Luke's time with Yoda, Harry and Ron's time on Coruscant, and the final battles in RotJ were among my favorite scenes. I also really liked when Harry "awoke" from death and had that brief scene with Yoda, Ben, and Dumbledore through the force.
    11.What was your least favorite scene? I don't know. [face_thinking]
    12.What parts of the story did you like the most (action, romance, HP characters learning about the new universe, etc)? The action was fantastic and suspenseful (e.g. escape from the Death Star scenes in ANH, the Battles of Yavin, Hoth, Endor). I also enjoyed the interactions between Harry Potter characters and Star Wars characters.
    13.What parts of the story did you like least? Sometimes the romance scenes were the ones I liked the least. I wanted Hermione to end up with Ron. Too bad, but I think the development of Hermione and Wedge's relationship was really well done.
    14.Did you like my original storylines? Are they believable? Yes, you did an outstanding job creating believable storylines with the characters from both Harry Potter and Star Wars interacting. I have never read a fanfic that has accomplished this as well as you have.
    15.Are the scene breaks in the right places? Are there too many cliffhangers? You can never have too many cliffhangers, besides I enjoyed all of them because they kept me reading. [face_hypnotized] The scenes break in the right places and if it seems like you have too many, just remember that you were posting periodically and not i
     
  16. LordTarr

    LordTarr Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2005
    49.What would you rather have: a sequel, or a prequel exploring Lily's cloning and Snape meeting Roganda? Sequel of the HP and SW characters moving back and forth between the two worlds fighting evil.
    50.Would you like to have this story on your computer? If you do, PM me with an email address, and I'll send you a PDF file. Okay PM will be sent!
     
  17. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005

    (jaw drops at number of questions) Dang, Prophet, somebody wants feedback...
    Section 1. Story
    1.Did you like the story?
    Yes, very much.

    2.What do you think of the premise?
    There's really only two ways to do an HP/SW, and this is my preferred method, with the wizards going to GFFA

    3.Is the plot believable?
    What? You mean it's not canon? (faints)
    No, actually it's good.

    4.Is the pacing too fast, or too slow?
    Tendency to be a bit wordy, so if you could cut one or two of the filler scenes next time I'd be happy.

    5.Do the scenes flow nicely into one another?
    Great transitions.

    6.Was it easy to follow the separate storylines?
    When I actually managed to get on a read them, yes.

    7.Did you like how I made the original storylines fit in with canon material?
    Stunning job. Lucas would be proud.

    8.Was the conclusion satisfactory? Should there have been more?
    What else was there to do?

    9.Please give an overall, honest rating for this story, on a 1-10 scale.
    8.5- you kida dragged on there.


     
  18. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 2. Scenes
    10.What was your favorite scene?
    Anything on the Death Star.

    11.What was your least favorite scene?
    I'm not so much into the mushy stuff, but I s'pose it wan unavoidable.

    12.What parts of the story did you like the most (action, romance, HP characters learning about the new universe, etc)?
    The characters learning about one another's worlds and powers.

    13.What parts of the story did you like least?
    Didn't care as much for the Ron-threads

    14.Did you like my original storylines? Are they believable?
    Very believable. Are you sure you don't do this for a living?

    15.Are the scene breaks in the right places? Are there too many cliffhangers?
    Some scenes would have been better if they had been together, and you are VERY fond of cliffies.

    16.What was your favorite cliffhanger?
    Did you NOT see my reaction when I thought you'd killed Harry??? That wasn't nice! (Good recovery, though.)
     
  19. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 3. Writing mechanics
    17.Does the story flow well? Is it easy to read?
    Very wordy.

    18.Do I have too many spelling and grammar errors?
    A few, but I can deal. Some people leave out wntire words and it drives me nuts. I don't like to read Slangese, and this was definately not written in Slangese.

    19.Do I use italics too much?
    Not that I noticed. I use italics for stressed/foreign words, thoughts, and telepathy, so your use of them was similar to mine.

    20.Do I use ellipses too much?
    Use what?

    21.What do you think of my writing style?
    Like I said, wordy, but you flow well, have great descriptions and plots, write (mostly) full sentences and thoughts, and your use of characters is fantastic.
     
  20. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 4. Characterization
    22.Who was your favorite character?
    Harry

    23.Who was your least favorite character?
    Snape

    24.Are the SW canon characters believably written?
    25.Are the HP canon characters believably written?
    ^^^ to both- great job, but I think Luke was a tad flat. It was more about the HP people and their pairings than L/L/H and the others.

    26.Are the original characters good characters? Do they add or retract?
    I didn't nothice them so much, I'm afraid.

    27.Overall, do the characters, as I wrote them, feel like the canon characters we know, or just some odd people with canon names slapped on them?
    Wedge got some good development, and the rest are pretty true to form. I think your weakest person was Luke.
     
  21. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 5. Action
    28.Were the space battles well-written?
    I prefer reading lengthy dogfights in a book as opposed to online, but they were good. DS I was too long though.

    29.Were the ground combat scenes well written?
    Fabulous.

    30.Were the lightsaber duels well written?
    These were incredible.

    31.What dueld did you like best: First Harry/Mara, Hermione/Roganda, first Harry/Voldemort, second Harry/Mara (Mara under Imperius), Ron/Snape, or the final Death Star duel?
    Actually, I like the DS II duel and the fight on Endor with all the wizards and the funny broomstick.

    32.What did you think of the combat between Hermione and Roganda (the only one with only wand magic on one side and Force and lightsaber on the other)?
    I had no familiarity with Roganda before this story, but the duel was believable. Where's Roganda from, anyway (story, not homeworld)

    33.What did you think of the escape from Coruscant?
    Kind skipped that one, I think...

    34.What did you think of the fight Hermione and Wedge engaged in on Suran Minor?
    When was that?

    35.Overall, did you like reading the action sequences, or did you skip over them?
    Read most of the action scenes, but there were some that I skimmed.
     
  22. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 6. Romance
    36.Wedge/Hermione: appropriate, believable?
    Not one I would have called at first, but well done. I was kinda hoping for Hermione and Ron, actually.

    37.Ron/Jan: appropriate, believable?
    Worked out, but I wanted Ron/Hermione.

    38.Harry/Ginny: does it feel right? Do you like how I brought her in, and how I used her to further the plot?
    This was excellent and entirely appropriate. And she wasn't just stading around doing nothing- very good!

    39.Are the mentions of other romances misplaced? Should they be there at all? (I'm talking about Neville/Luna, Seamus/Parvati, Hannah/Terry, and Susan/Dean).
    Neville and Luna really ought to happen in HP 7. The others were good too.

    40.Snape/Roganda and Malfoy/Lavender: should it have been there? Does it add flavor or not?

    S/R yes, Lavender and Malfoy? Dear God, no!

    41.Overall, what do you think of my romance writing? Did you like reading these bits, or did you skip them?
    The few bits that I read were good, But I'm more inclined to skim and go "okay, so where's the funny stuff?"
     
  23. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 7. Development. The story went through many changes. I would like you to tell me what you think of each of the following:

    42.Originally, the story had Luke and Harry separating when they leave Dagobah, with Harry going to Nar Shaddaa to rescue Hermone. I changed that because 1)There was less weight to the Ron/Hermione conflict afterwards that way, and 2)It smacked too much of Harry/Hermione romance, which was never intended.
    Yeah, I liked this better.

    43.Mara was not always intended to be a clone of Harry's mother, but I changed that because otherwise, she would have been a loose end.
    That was a bit creepy. I'd have voted for twin sister hidden by the Dursleys, or something.

    44.Ron's story on Coruscant was originally intended to be much bigger, and include Ron getting involved with an underworld swoop gang, with intrigue, street fights, and romance with an OC, who would leave with Ron. It also included Ron nearly rescuing Harry (who was supposed to remain a prisoner until the battle at Endor), and, when failing, going mad and using Avada Kedavra on a group of Imperials he runs into. It appeared to be fun, but at that point, I read HBP, and knew I had to deal with Horcruxes... and then the idea of having Mara be one came to me, and I changed the story (besides, it got more Jan into it, and I really like Jan).
    Could have been interesting. Can you write up that as an alternate scene for me?

    45.At first, I planned to have both Harry and Ron forbit Ginny to go with them, and Ginny would sneak in the cargo compartment, and come out when they opened it to get the weapons. It would prompt a bit of humor, but then I made another change, that made that humor misplaced.
    I would have liked that. I love humor.

    46.I first had Mara live, by having dying Anakin absorbing Voldemort's essense, and taking it with him to the netherworld. Ultimately, I decided that that is too much a burden on Anakin.
    Eh, iffy. In a perfect world, Anakin and Mara would have lived. I would have liked that. I'm sure there's got to be another way to destroy the soul.

    47.Initially, Susan killed Snape with Avada Kedavra rather than a blaster. I thought it would be more ironic (it already was, since Susan was probably the last person Snape expected it from) if a Muggle weapon was used.
    Irony- gotta love it. I liked the blaster.

     
  24. Exxaciel

    Exxaciel Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Section 8. Miscellanea
    48.Did you like the way the three wizards were exploring the unfamiliar world?
    Heck yeah!

    49.What would you rather have: a sequel, or a prequel exploring Lily's cloning and Snape meeting Roganda?
    What, can't do both? I'd prefer a sequel.

    50.Would you like to have this story on your computer? If you do, PM me with an email address, and I'll send you a PDF file.
    No thanks. Appreciate the offer, though.

    Suggestion- have the sequel concern the SW people on Earth. You've got the need for secrecy and the possiblity of the magical community getting uncovered. That would be something to see, and I think you could pull it off well.

     
  25. leandrastar2000

    leandrastar2000 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 6, 2004
    I waited until this story was complete to read the whole thing. I prefer to read stories that way and then give my reaction to the author. Here are my answers to your survey questions and a couple of comments of my own at the end.

    Conclusion Survey

    Section 1. Story

    1.Did you like the story? Yes it was very interesting.

    2.What do you think of the premise? I have always liked crossover stories between series that I enjoy reading.

    3.Is the plot believable? Yes

    4.Is the pacing too fast, or too slow? Neither, I think it is just right.

    5.Do the scenes flow nicely into one another? Yes
    6.Was it easy to follow the separate storylines? Yes
    7.Did you like how I made the original storylines fit in with canon material? Yes

    8.Was the conclusion satisfactory? Should there have been more? I would like to see a sequel, but the way you ended this one is okay.

    9.Please give an overall, honest rating for this story, on a 1-10 scale. I would have to give it an eight.

    Section 2. Scenes

    10.What was your favorite scene? The scene where Ginny is telling her plan for going into the top hatch of the shield bunker on Endor and this is the conversation.
    ?Kid, your sister?s crazy,? Han commented.

    Ron groaned. ?Tell me something I don?t know.?

    ?This coming from someone who jumped off a Coruscant skyscraper, and took on an Imperial Star Destroyer in a ship that was ready to fall apart,? Jan mused.

    ?Oh, I?ve got to hear that story,? Han said.

    Ron blushed. ?I had no choice.?

    ?No one does crazy things by choice,? Jan said

    ?Sometimes I think Han does,? Leia said. Chewbacca voiced his agreement.

    ?Really, Princess? You?re not exactly the cautious type yourself.?

    This was a great scene and was just right for all the characters involved.

    11.What was your least favorite scene? I?m not all that fond of space battles.

    12.What parts of the story did you like the most (action, romance, HP characters learning about the new universe, etc)? The romance and the characters learning about each other?s worlds.

    13.What parts of the story did you like least? The space battles

    14.Did you like my original storylines? Are they believable? Yes to both questions.
    15.Are the scene breaks in the right places? Are there too many cliffhangers? I thought the story flowed well.
    16.What was your favorite cliffhanger? I didn?t really have a favorite.

    Section 3. Writing mechanics

    17.Does the story flow well? Is it easy to read? Yes
    18.Do I have too many spelling and grammar errors? It could use some cleaning up. You have some places were you have put spaces in the wrong places. You have places where you have left words out or left letters out of words. I would suggest typing your story in Microsoft Word or some other word processing program and then reading over a section before you post it to the site.

    19.Do I use italics too much? No

    20.Do I use ellipses too much? I don?t even know what an ellipse is.

    21.What do you think of my writing style? Great
    Section 4. Characterization

    22.Who was your favorite character? I have two actually. Harry and Luke of course.

    23.Who was your least favorite character? I have two here as well. I have never liked Snape, even in the books. I despise Roganda just as much.

    24.Are the SW canon characters believably written? For the most part.

    25.Are the HP canon characters believably written? For the most part.[/color
     
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