Story [Harry Potter] Are We...Canoodling? (Humor, Ron, Hermione, Harry)

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by FelsGoddess, Nov 4, 2011.

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  1. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    Title: Are We...Canoodling?
    Author: FelsGoddess
    Characters: Hermione, Ron and Harry
    Genre: Humor
    Summary: Ron stumbles upon fan fiction featuring Hermione and Draco. Hilarity ensues.
    Note 1: JC House Cup fic.
    Note 2: A portion of this fic was inspired by Tom Felton's appearance on Conan a few months ago.
    Note 3: No offense is meant towards anyone who follows these ships.

    Hermione squeezed her eyes closed as her entire body tingled. Warmth spread through her limbs, curling her toes and turning her into a pile of melted Bertie Botts Flavored Beans (cake and pudding flavored, of course). She knew what was coming and could not stop herself for no woman could stand up against Draco Malfoy when he wanted her. She leaned in, eyes glassy in lust as Draco ran a finger up her-

    ?HERMIONE!? Ron Weasley?s voice screeched through the flat. His tone indicated panic, shock and anger. It was something Hermione only heard lately when the Cannons were down (which happened almost every match).

    ?Honestly Ron! Do you really need to yell?? Hermione shot back in annoyance.

    ?You have to see this!? he responded, a trifle calmer.

    Hermione grumbled as she walked into her home office. She?d incorporated various Muggle items into her flat, including a computer with an internet connection. It?d taken some experimentation, but she?d finally been able to make the computer work around magic. It made it much easier to organize her research.

    Ron was seated at her computer with a look of utter shock on his face. His eyebrows had disappeared somewhere in his hair. The freckles on his face stood out against the pale skin. He pointed to the screen as he squeaked, ?Have you seen this??

    ?What??

    ?This? fan fiction?? Ron stuttered as he continued to point at the perplexing words on the screen.

    ?I?ve heard of fan fiction,? Hermione said vaguely. She didn?t understand what his issue was. While she?d never read any, she?d hardly entertained a thought about it. It wasn?t as if she followed Muggle movies and books very closely. She couldn?t imagine what was making him react so dramatically.

    ?It?s about us! Well, about you,? he squawked. ?You and?and Malfoy!?

    ?What?? Hermione asked with a gasp. That got her attention. She rushed over to the computer monitor and began to read.

    ?I hate that we have to hide our love, my darling,? Draco?s deep sexy voice crooned as he stroked a hand down Hermione?s tamed hair. She?d mastered the proper hair charming spells to guarantee that she never had to worry about frizzy hair again! ?Until Father dies, this is the only solution. Soon I will have control of the Ministry and be able to destroy his laws regarding Muggle-born and Pureblood relationships. Just keep up appearances as you have been, my pet.?

    ?Oh Draco! I will do whatever you say!? Hermione squealed. She kissed his rock hard chest. He?d perfected his muscles when he was in Azkaban two years ago for a crime he did not commit. His father had framed him. He?d never let the muscles soften, something the women in the wizarding world were grateful for. Hermione didn?t care if she had to put up with ridicule; Draco Malfoy was such a fantastic lover. If they saw the-


    Hermione shrieked, ?How did you find this??

    Ron blushed slightly, ?Well, I heard that Muggles Guggle- er Google- themselves from Harry and tried your name. This came up.?

    ?I-I can?t believe it,? Hermione said as she looked at the site. She nudged Ron out of the way so she could sit in the chair at the desk. She clicked on the link to go to the website?s fan fiction library. The list of pairings in the key at the left-hand side of the page made her groan. ?In what reality are Draco and I friends, let alone lovers??

    Ron shrugged as he pointed to another pairing, ?Look, it?s you and Snape!?

    ?Oh my God?? Hermione gasped. She looked at all of the pairings. She and Snape, Draco, Harry, Crabbe, Goyle, Lupin- even Ginny and Luna! ?I?m a harlot!?

    Ron chuckled at that, and then pointed to a banner leading to another website, ?Hey look at that. It?s us.?

    Hermione clicked on the link. They spent the
  2. Book-Geek Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    ROFL!!!!!!!!!!![face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I just love it when characters discover fanfiction! It's wonderful, FelsGoddess!
  3. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    It's a hoot. :p Thank you!
  4. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
  5. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] This is brilliant :D I can't pick a favorite 8-}
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