Story [Harry Potter] Survey Time- HUMOR!

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by LilyHobbitJedi, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    Title: Survey Time
    Author: LilyHobbitJedi
    Timeframe: After GOF
    Characters: Pretty much the entire HP crew at some point.
    Genre: Humor
    Summary: Have you ever taken one of those annoying surveys on the web? What will happen when the Harry Potter gang fills out one?
    AN: This story I started writing for fun back in 2003 during the long wait between Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix. It?s set during the summer between books 4 and 5, but really doesn?t follow the books in any way. It was a spur of the moment idea for a story when I was filling out one of those online surveys. I know the idea of having characters fill out a survey isn?t original, but I hope you all will enjoy this!

    Disclaimer: I don?t own HP characters, or this survey. I?m just playing with them for awhile.


    Survey Time

    Chapter 1: Harry Potter


    Harry Potter was once more back at the Dursleys for the summer. He was still quite traumatized about the events of the third task, and Harry supposed that was why the Dursleys were treating him a bit better. They still hated him, but now they didn't snap at him quite so often. Despite his worry Harry did his best to keep himself distracted.

    One day during this long summer, the Dursley family decided to go into London and get Dudley some new clothes. Dudley had lost very little weight due to his cheating his diet, so now the Dursleys had to tailor everything he wore. When his Uncle Vernon backed out of the drive Harry couldn't believe how lucky he was. His uncle had warned him to do nothing and not destroy the house, but now Harry could do what he really wanted to do. And now he walked over to Dudley's computer he noticed it was already on. He looked at the top of the sheet and saw the word survey. Looking over it, Harry printed it up and started filling it in.

    SURVEY

    Are you left handed or right handed?: Right

    Are you smart?: Not nearly as smart as Hermione.

    What's your middle name? : James

    How many personalities do you have?: This is a stupid question, one I believe.

    How many piercings do you have?: Guys shouldn't get piercings!

    Tattoos?: No tattoos, unless you count my lightning bolt shaped scar.

    Can you do a cartwheel?: Sort of.

    Do you have bangs?: Yes and they are always getting in the way.

    Do you have contact lenses?: I wish I did.

    Can you drive?: Not a car, but if you count flying a broom like the wizard?s version of car, then I can drive very well, thank you.

    What do you drive?: A Firebolt

    Do you snore?: No, but Neville does...really loudly.

    Do you drool in your sleep?: Er?yes

    Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: Lick envelopes?or use one of those fun wax seal things.

    What languages do you know?: English and I guess Parseltongue.

    What's the best awards show?: I almost never watch tv.

    Do you like onions?: Sure, they?re food.

    Do you like cotton candy?: Never had any. I was such a deprived child. Though cotton candy IS one of the things that made Dudley the fat pig he is today.

    What instruments can you play?: None, unless you count that funky little flute Hagrid gave me.

    What words do you overuse?: Er?umm. I guess I say "er" a lot.

    What do you sleep in?: My bed.

    What's your bedtime?: Pretty much when I want to.

    How many pillows do you have?: One at Hogwarts, one at the Dursleys.

    Do you like to dance?: No?but I was forced to once.

    Do you like to sing?: Not at all.

    Are you any good at it?: I sound like a mermaid above water.

    How many cds do you have?: None.

    How many times have you moved houses?: Hmm...twice I think. When I lived with my parents and where I live now, with the Dursleys.

    Do you like where you live?: No, I want to live with Sirius, or be at Hogwarts. Stupid Peter!!

    Is your room messy?: Kind of.

    Do you like to finger-paint?: Never have before.

    Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: Never had a stuffed animal, except a raggedy old teddy bear with one eye and one limb.

    Do you sleep with socks on?: Sometimes.
    Are you ticklish?:
  2. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

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  3. Rogue...Jedi Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 7
    [face_laugh] Quite entertaining, I'll have to make sure I come back and read the next ones :)
  4. DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    You Went To The Mall With?: Does Diagon Alley count?

    ROFL, and I don't know why. This was great.
  5. Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    [face_laugh]

    Very funny, Lily. :D

    What words do you overuse?: Er?umm. I guess I say "er" a lot.

    That's very true, you know, now that I think about it. :p
  6. NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Do you snore?: No, but Neville does...really loudly

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    This is great!! Very funny :D I also really liked the "need food now" bit. And I can sympathise about Oliver - getting up early sucks :p

    If you've got a PM list, please put me on it!!
  7. Onoto Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2004
    star 5
    There are so many good responses, but I think this one is my favorite:

    Do you believe in bigfoot?: Of course.

    Wonderful.[face_laugh]
  8. Lady Belligerent Grand Inquisitor of the EUC

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 7
    This is hysterical! If you do Ron's responses then please send me a PM.
  9. NickLitYouAFlame Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 27, 2007
    star 5
    Have you been close to death before?: Way too many times to count! Voldemort alone tried to kill me what? 4 times already, then there is Fluffy, my bucking broomstick, the troll, the car wreak in the Whomping Willow, the rogue bludger, Aragog's children, falling 50 feet from my broom, the dementors, and the tasks of the Triwizard tournament. It think that's about all of it, but I might have missed something.
    lol.
  10. Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 4
    Loved those answers he was giving! Especially the ?ever been close to death? one, had me cracking up! [face_laugh] I wonder what Ron will think of this? Somehow, I wouldn?t be surprised if the twins got a hold of this? If this continues, could you PM me when you update?

    --later--

    6669 [face_devil]
  11. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    JEDIGUNSHIP: This is pretty good!

    Thank you!

    Rogue...Jedi: Quite entertaining, I'll have to make sure I come back and read the next ones

    Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it.:)

    DarthIshtar: ROFL, and I don't know why. This was great.

    Thank you, glad you liked it.

    Idrelle_Miocovani: Very funny, Lily.

    Thanks!

    That's very true, you know, now that I think about it.

    Poor Harry, always at a loss for words...

    NYCitygurl: This is great!! Very funny I also really liked the "need food now" bit. And I can sympathise about Oliver - getting up early sucks

    Thank you, yes it sure does.

    If you've got a PM list, please put me on it!!

    I would be happy to pm you.

    Onoto: There are so many good responses, but I think this one is my favorite:

    Wonderful.


    Thank you so much!

    Jag4Me: This is hysterical! If you do Ron's responses then please send me a PM.

    Thank you, I sure will.:)

    NickLitYouAFlame: lol.

    I'm glad you liked it.

    Darth_Leia_6669: Loved those answers he was giving! Especially the ?ever been close to death? one, had me cracking up! I wonder what Ron will think of this? Somehow, I wouldn?t be surprised if the twins got a hold of this? If this continues, could you PM me when you update?

    I can promise that at some point the twins WILL get ahold of this, but not for awhile. Thank you, and I'll be happy to pm you.
  12. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    Title: Survey Time
    Author: LilyHobbitJedi
    Timeframe: After GOF
    Characters: Pretty much the entire HP crew at some point.
    Genre: Humor
    Summary: Have you ever taken one of those annoying surveys on the web? What will happen when the Harry Potter gang fills out one?
    AN: Here's Ron's answers, hope you enjoy this!
    Disclaimer: I don?t own HP characters, or this survey. I?m just playing with them for awhile.

    PM List:
    NyCitygurl
    Jag4Me
    Darth_Leia_6669


    If you would like to be removed/added to the list, please let me know.


    Survey Time

    Chapter 2: Ron Weasley



    It was early in the morning and Ron Weasley had just woken up. He was just kind of lying in his bed, because he knew that as soon as he went downstairs his mother would force him to do a million chores. But just as Ron's eyes were closing once more he heard a tapping on the window pane. Glancing up he saw Hedwig. Smiling he let her in and took off the piece of parchment Harry had sent.

    Ron,

    How are you? I'm ok, the Dursleys aren't treating me nearly as bad as usual. Anyway, what I?m writing you about is this survey I found on Dudley's computer. Copy the questions down and write your own answers and add it to mine. Then send it on.

    Harry

    ~~~~~

    SURVEY

    Are you left handed or right handed?: Left

    Are you smart?: Uh...sure I am.

    What's your middle name?: Bilius...horrible, isn?t it?

    How many personalities do you have?: I don't know

    How many piercings do you have?: None...my brother Bill does though.

    Tattoos?: Nope

    Can you do a cartwheel?: No

    Do you have bangs?: Yes

    Do you have contact lenses?: I have good vision! Unlike "blind as bat" Harry.

    Can you drive?: Yes I can, though I crash landed the one time I did.

    What do you drive?: Ford Anglia

    Do you snore?: *Blushes* Yes

    Do you drool in your sleep?: No, I don?t think so.

    Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: Lick em.

    What languages do you know?: English

    What's the best awards show?: What's an award show? Harry is that a Muggle thing?

    Do you like onions?: Nope.

    Do you like cotton candy?: Sounds good, whatever it is.

    What instruments can you play?: None.

    What words do you overuse?: I don't overuse words.

    What do you sleep in?: Pajamas

    What's your bedtime?: 9 bloody 30.

    How many pillows do you have?: 3

    Do you like to dance?: NO!!!

    Do you like to sing?: No

    Are you any good at it?: I think my singing is worse than Harry's.

    How many cds do you have?: What's a cd? Is that another Muggle thing?

    How many times have you moved houses?: Never have.

    Do you like where you live?: For the most part.

    Do you like to finger-paint?: Huh?

    Do u sleep with stuffed animals?: *Blushes* Yes

    Do you sleep with socks on?: Yep

    Are you ticklish?: Um...no?

    Are you shy?: Nope

    Do you talk to yourself?: Sometimes

    Are you a morning person?: No I'm not.

    What's your favorite outfit?: Anything that's new.

    Do you believe in ghosts?: Of course I do!

    Do you believe in bigfoot?: Yes, he's actually a really nice guy. Not a monster at all.

    What's your favorite feature?: My least favorite features are my hair and nose.

    What do you do when you're nervous?: Go really pale.

    Who's your role model?: Bill and Charlie. But not Percy...never Percy.

    What celebrities do you act like?: Huh? I don't act like those stupid celebrities. No offense Harry, you weren't included!

    THE LAST PERSON WHO:

    Called You?: Muggle thing?

    Slept In Your Bed?: Me

    Saw You Cry?: Mom

    Made You Cry?: George

    Spent The Night?: Harry

    At Your House:

    Shared A Drink With?: Pig

    You Went To The Movies with?: What on earth is a movie?

    You Went To The Mall With?: Is that ANOTHER Muggle thing!?

    Yelled At You?: Mum

    Sent You An Owl?: Harry

    Said They Were Gonna Kill You?: Gred and Forge.

    HAVE YOU EVER:

    Been To New York?: Where is that?

    Been To Florida?: Probably not since I don't even know where that is!

    California
  13. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 9
    PM list, please. This is a great idea! :D
  14. Lady Belligerent Grand Inquisitor of the EUC

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 7
    Really fun! But, who is Ron going to send it to?:)
  15. NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
  16. Rogue...Jedi Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 7
    Shared A Drink With?: Pig

    [face_laugh]

    Wow. Great job again!

    But, who is Ron going to send it to?

    Hermione :p


    Oh, and you can add me to the PM list as well, if its not a problem :)
  17. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    JEDIGUNSHIP: PM list, please. This is a great idea!

    I would be happy to, I'm glad you like it!

    Jag4Me:Really fun! But, who is Ron going to send it to?

    Hermione, of course. :D

    NYCitygurl: Awesome

    Thank you!

    Rogue...Jedi: Wow. Great job again!

    Thank you!

    Hermione

    You got it.

    Oh, and you can add me to the PM list as well, if its not a problem

    I would be happy to add you to the list.
  18. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    Title: Survey Time
    Author: LilyHobbitJedi
    Timeframe: After GOF
    Characters: Pretty much the entire HP crew at some point.
    Genre: Humor
    Summary: Have you ever taken one of those annoying surveys on the web? What will happen when the Harry Potter gang fills out one?
    AN: Alrighties, here's the next installment, I hope you like it!
    Disclaimer: I don?t own HP characters, or this survey. I?m just playing with them for awhile.

    PM List:
    NyCitygurl
    Jag4Me
    Darth_Leia_6669
    JEDIGUNSHIP
    Rogue?Jedi



    If you would like to be removed/added to the list, please let me know.


    Survey Time

    Chapter 3: Hermione Granger


    Hermione Granger was reading the note Ron Weasley had sent her. For one she was pretty annoyed, as she always ignored those stupid surveys on the web, and now her friends were sending it to her. She turned away from it in disgust.

    Twenty minutes passed and Hermione was now reading a book. Unfortunately she couldn't keep it out of her mind. She felt guilty for not doing the survey and there was a possibility it would be entertaining. So with a bit of annoyance, Hermione started filling it in.

    SURVEY

    Are you left handed or right handed?: I'm a righty thank you very much.

    Are you smart?: Well I would think that being called "know it all" qualifies as very smart.

    What's your middle name?: Jane

    How many personalities do you have?: I have one very distinctive personality.

    How many piercings do you have?: I refuse to puncture my skin for beauty.

    Tattoos?: No thanks

    Can you do a cartwheel?: Yes as a matter of fact...not very well though

    Do you have bangs?: Yes

    Do you have contact lenses?: No I can see perfectly fine

    Can you drive?: My dad did let me drive around a parking lot once. My mum wasn't pleased.

    What do you drive?: A station wagon?ugh!

    Do you snore?: No...Lavender does though

    Do you drool in your sleep?: Once I did

    Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: I use a sponge. Have you heard that there can be several microorganisms and even cockroach eggs in the glue for envelopes?

    What languages do you know?: 2: English and French. And I am learning Spanish right now.

    What's the best awards show?: Award shows are overrated and only a popularity contest. I never watch them.

    Do you like onions?: Not really

    Do you like cotton candy?: Of course...I did go to carnivals.

    What instruments can you play?: Trumpet, clarinet, and piano. Unfortunately I can only practice them during the summer.

    What words do you overuse?: Honestly I don't overuse words!! Ok maybe I do overuse "honestly"

    What do you sleep in?: My comfortable day bed.

    What's your bedtime?: Any time I feel like sleeping, which is early evening.

    How many pillows do you have?: 5

    Do you like to dance?: Yes I do as a matter of fact.

    Do you like to sing?: Sometimes

    Are you any good at it?: My mother says I am, but I disagree.

    How many cds do you have?: More than I can count...I am from a Muggle home!

    How many times have you moved houses?: 3 times I believe.

    Do you like where you live?: Very much.

    Do you like to finger-paint?: I did when I was 5.

    Do u sleep with stuffed animals?: Yes I do!

    Do you sleep with socks on?: No

    Are you ticklish?: Yes, very. This better not return to haunt me Ron, Harry!

    Are you shy?: Not usually.

    Do you talk to yourself?: No, I'm not like that Gollum from my favorite book trilogy.

    Are you a morning person?: Why yes I am.

    What's your favorite outfit?: My blue dress robes.

    Do you believe in ghosts?: Of course I do! They are real!

    Do you believe in bigfoot?: Bigfoot or Sasquatch as he is otherwise known is a real being.

    What's your favorite feature?: My newly improved teeth!

    What do you do when you're nervous?: Go to the library.

    Who's your role model?: Professor McGonagall

    What celebrities do you act like?: None that I know of. I'm an individual and proud of it.

    THE LAST PERSON WHO:

    Called You?: One of those an
  19. Lady Belligerent Grand Inquisitor of the EUC

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 7
    Honestly! I am guilty of overusing that word too! [face_laugh]
    =D= This is really fun Lily! I can't wait to see what Lupin has to say!
  20. NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: I use a sponge. Have you heard that there can be several microorganisms and even cockroach eggs in the glue for envelopes?

    [face_sick] I'm never licking an envelope again.

    Great post!
  21. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 9
    You're great at writing what a character would actually say in these kinds of situations. Good job! =D=
  22. Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 4
    Awesome job with the characterizations! Can't wait to see what Lupin has to say!

    --later--
    6669 [face_devil]
  23. Rogue...Jedi Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 7
    Great job, and again you nailed her character.

    Lupin should be great... and very different from the previous three :p

    And: Said They Were Gonna Kill You?: This weird person I met in an internet chat room. I think he will reconsider killing me when I hex him good!

    LOL! [face_laugh]
  24. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    Jag4Me: Honestly! I am guilty of overusing that word too!
    This is really fun Lily! I can't wait to see what Lupin has to say!


    I'm so glad you liked this, Lupin's response is coming soon.

    NYCitygurl: I'm never licking an envelope again.

    Yeah it grossed me out too when I heard that statistic. [face_sick]
    But I figured Hermione would know that kind of trivia.

    Great post!

    Thank you!

    JEDIGUNSHIP: You're great at writing what a character would actually say in these kinds of situations. Good job!

    Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed this!

    Darth_Leia_6669: Awesome job with the characterizations! Can't wait to see what Lupin has to say!

    Thank you so much, Lupin's answers are coming soon!

    Rogue...Jedi: Great job, and again you nailed her character.

    I'm so glad you think so.

    Lupin should be great... and very different from the previous three

    It is.

    LOL!

    :)
  25. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    Title: Survey Time
    Author: LilyHobbitJedi
    Timeframe: After GOF
    Characters: Pretty much the entire HP crew at some point.
    Genre: Humor
    Summary: Have you ever taken one of those annoying surveys on the web? What will happen when the Harry Potter gang fills out one?
    AN: Alrighties, here's the next installment, I hope you like it!
    Disclaimer: I don?t own HP characters, or this survey. I?m just playing with them for awhile.

    PM List:
    NyCitygurl
    Jag4Me
    Darth_Leia_6669
    JEDIGUNSHIP
    Rogue?Jedi


    If you would like to be removed/added to the list, please let me know.

    Survey Time

    Chapter 4: Remus Lupin



    Remus Lupin was resting one day when all of a sudden a spastic little owl started twittering around and ramming into the side of his head.

    Remus read the note and was surprised to find it was from Harry Potter's friend Hermione Granger. Reading what she said, and having nothing better to do, he started filling it out the curious survey.

    SURVEY

    Are you left handed or right handed?: Left

    Are you smart?: I was a professor at Hogwarts...And a prefect once upon a time!

    What's your middle name?: John

    How many personalities do you have?: Well there is the normal me?And the crazed monster me that shows up once a month.

    How many piercings do you have?: I'm allergic to silver, so I avoid all metals

    Tattoos?: The tools they use are silver!

    Can you do a cartwheel?: Used to.

    Do you have bangs?: Of course.

    Do you have contact lenses?: No

    Can you drive?: Since I am a werewolf I had to get Muggle jobs and one of them was a school bus driver

    What do you drive?: I drove a yellow bus

    Do you snore?: Yes

    Do you drool in your sleep?: When I'm in wolf form

    Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: I don't have a preference.

    What languages do you know?: English and I guess Dog

    What's the best awards show?: What is an award show?

    Do you like onions?: I love onions, except for the foul aftertaste.

    Do you like cotton candy?: Yes

    What instruments can you play?: The piano

    What words do you overuse?: None

    What do you sleep in?: A cage...or my bed, depends on the moon.

    What's your bedtime?: The time I feel like sleeping.

    How many pillows do you have?: One.

    Do you like to dance?: Yes...I can do a mean waltz.

    Do you like to sing?: Sometimes...at the moon.

    Are you any good at it?: Not really

    How many cds do you have?: A cd? I'm not sure what you mean.

    How many times have you moved houses?: More times than I can count on my hands.

    Do you like where you live?: It will suffice.

    Do you like to finger-paint?: No...had a bad memory with paint...that one time when Sirius and James attacked me with with a couple of gallons of whitewash, never painted since. And no I don't use my fingers, I prefer a brush.

    Do u sleep with stuffed animals?: Leave Wolfy out of this.

    Do you sleep with socks on?: Yes.

    Are you ticklish?: Not telling...Sirius would attack me if he knew.

    Are you shy?: Some say I am.

    Do you talk to yourself?: Not usually.

    Are you a morning person?: No, not really

    What's your favorite outfit?: I don't have a favorite

    Do you believe in ghosts?: Of course...This must be a Muggle survey.

    Do you believe in bigfoot?: Same as above.

    What's your favorite feature?: In what form?

    What do you do when you're nervous?: Um?You don't want to know!

    Who's your role model?: Dumbledore

    What celebrities do you act like?: I act like none I know.

    THE LAST PERSON WHO:

    Called You?: Called? You mean yell...That would be Sirius

    Slept In Your Bed?: Me

    Saw You Cry?: No clue

    Made You Cry?: Sirius and James, though I was laughing so hard it made me cry...Those were the days.

    Spent The Night?: Sirius

    At Your House: Technically I?m at Sirius? house.

    Shared A Drink With?: Sirius

    You Went To The Movies with?: Never been.

    You Went To The Mall With?: Never went to a mall.

    Yelled At You?: Sirius

    Sent You An Owl?: Hermione Granger, a bright pupil if I ever saw one
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