Story [Harry Potter] Survey Time- HUMOR!

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by LilyHobbitJedi, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    Title: Survey Time
    Author: LilyHobbitJedi
    Timeframe: After GOF
    Characters: Pretty much the entire HP crew at some point.
    Genre: Humor
    Summary: Have you ever taken one of those annoying surveys on the web? What will happen when the Harry Potter gang fills out one?
    AN: Alrighties, here's the next installment, I hope you like it!
    Disclaimer: I don?t own HP characters, or this survey. I?m just playing with them for awhile.

    PM List:


    Survey Time

    Chapter 7: Severus Snape

    Severus Snape glared. Then he glared, glared and glared some more. And all this glaring was at a piece of paper recently handed to him by the headmaster. He thought Dumbledore must be really off his rocker if he expected him to fill out some stupid survey. But the loony old man did. Grumbling and groaning the whole time, Snape decided that Dumbledore would find out if he didn't do it. So with a heavy heart Snape filled his quill and started.


    Are you left handed or right handed?: What does it really matter what hand I write with?

    Are you smart?: I can bottle fame and brew glory, what do you think?

    What's your middle name?: Squigulus

    How many personalities do you have?: I happen to always be a cruel and insensitive person, and
    I am proud of it!

    How many piercings do you have?: You mean those stupid pieces of metal that students like to get all over. I'm sorry but doing that is just ridiculous. Wait why did I even say sorry, you don't deserve it!

    Tattoos?: I don't want to talk about my tattoo thank you very much.

    Can you do a cartwheel?:I don't have time for foolish acrobatics.

    Do you have bangs?: Why does it matter?

    Do you have contact lenses?: You mean those stupid things Muggles put in their eyes? Of course not!

    Can you drive?: I prefer to apparate.

    What do you drive?: Look above you dingbat.

    Do you snore?: Is it any of your business whether I snore or not?

    Do you drool in your sleep?: I don't drool like a little imbecile.

    Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge?: I like flooing messages best.

    What languages do you know?: English and Bulgarian

    What's the best awards show?: I don't have time to be wasting it on trivial things such as award shows.

    Do you like onions?: Not particularily.

    Do you like cotton candy?: Albus, is this another of your favorite Muggle treats. Maybe I should write the name down...It could be his password soon.

    What instruments can you play?: I have no time to waste on music!

    What words do you overuse?: Is it really any of your business?

    What do you sleep in?: Do you really have to know?

    What's your bedtime?: Bedtimes are for students, though that Potter acts like he doesn't have one. Just like his dad.

    How many pillows do you have?: This must be the most ridiculous question I have ever heard?

    Do you like to dance?: NO!

    Do you like to sing?: I loathe music.

    Are you any good at it?:Do I really have to repeat myself?

    How many cds do you have?: Is this supposed to be some abbreviation for cauldrons? If so, I have 34 of them.

    How many times have you moved houses?: 4 times

    Do you like where you live?: A dark, dank dungeon, wouldn't be happier anywhere else.

    Do you like to finger-paint?: We are not little children here, ok Poter and his gang are, they should start finger-painting all the time?It would get them out of my way!

    Do u sleep with stuffed animals?: Ok I stand corrected, THIS IS THE MOST IDIOTIC QUESTION I HAVE EVER HEARD! I refuse to answer it!

    Do you sleep with socks on?: Who cares? It?s not some stupid contest!

    Are you ticklish?: Why would I tell anyone that?

    Are you shy?: Hrmph, I am not shy

    Do you talk to yourself?: Who's asking?

    Are you a morning person?: Of course.

    What's your favorite outfit?: Billowing black robes that intimidate those pathetic first years.

    Do you believe in ghosts?: :rolleyes: No I only live in a haunted castle and I don
  2. Jag4Me Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2008
    star 6
    PMSL!! Best one yet!!=D=
  3. Tatooine_Ghost Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2006
    star 4
  4. Obi-Gon_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2008
    star 1
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Poor Snape.

    I was supposed to be studying for a test when I was reading this and I started laughing...My family's probably wondering what in my history text book is so funny. [face_blush] Great job! These are hilarious :D
  5. SithGirl132 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2005
    star 4
    I was supposed to be doing homework, and then I read this...

    I love your surveys! They are all so true to the characters. Fantastic job and may I have a PM when you update?
  6. Jedi Gunny Yahtzee Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    May 20, 2008
    star 9
    Wow, your answers keep getting better and better. Nice job.
  7. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    How many cds do you have?: Is this supposed to be some abbreviation for cauldrons? If so, I have 34 of them

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That's pretty funny :D
  8. Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 4
    That was HILARIOUS! I could see Snape sneering and glaring the whole time, and could almost hear Rickman's voice behind the answers. I especially enjoyed the answers he gave going down the sheet one word at a time! And I don't understand why he wouldn't want to discuss tatoos! :p

    I knew he wouldn't rip it up, I mean what fun would that be? Unless of course it could magically mend itself, then tell Dumbledore!

    Awesome again!

    6669 [face_devil]
  9. Rogue...Jedi Administrator Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 7

    So how many questions did he actually answer... so very Snape-like :p
  10. Deciduous Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Those were great answers! [face_laugh]
  11. SilSolo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    lol this is hilarious! that is so Snape!
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