Story [Harry Potter] We Didn't Mean to Do It (Fred & George Christmas short-story; takes place during DH)

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Book-Geek, Dec 22, 2012.

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  1. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    Mostly Cannon. Inspired by the Gred and Forge song from the Jingle Spells 3 CD (and a bit of the Tim Allen 'Santa Clause' movie). After accidentally stunning Santa and erasing his memory, the Weasley twins go on an adventure to deliver toys around the world. However, their adventure leads to something else for one twin.

    "We didn't mean to do it, there was actually nothing to it, we didn't mean to kill Santa Claus" ---Gred and Forge, "(We Didn't Mean to Kill) Santa Claus"

    Chapter One:

    All was peaceful, all was blessedly quiet that Christmas Eve night, despite the fact that the Wizarding World was at war.

    Everyone slept soundly, tucked in their own beds, hoping that Santa would come even though Voldemort was at large.

    And Santa did come. Except, he ran into a slight problem.

    Make that two slight problems.

    Two nearly identical, red-headed problems.

    Fred’s eyes snapped open around midnight. He sat bolt upright in bed, listening intently to the sounds coming above his head. He crawled out from under the quilts and tiptoed across the floor to his brother’s bed.

    “George!” Fred said in an urgent whisper as he shook his twin. “George, wake up!”

    “Wha, wha do’ya wan’?” George asked sleepily as he sat up.

    “You hear that?” Fred asked.

    “Very funny,” George said, narrowing his eyes as he pointed to where an ear used to be.

    “I’m not kidding,” Fred said. “There’s something on the roof.”

    “You sure you’re not just hearing the ghoul in the attic?” George asked, skeptical.

    “Our ghoul never sounds like footsteps,” Fred said. George’s eyes widened.

    “Death Eaters?” He asked.

    “I don’t know,” Fred said. “Let’s go check it out.”

    The twins quickly grabbed their bathrobes, pulled on their sneakers and grabbed their wands. They tiptoed quietly through the house, careful not to wake their parents or sister. They went out the front door and hid behind the shed, staring up at the roof.

    “You see it?” George said, his eyes widening as he saw the stout figure.

    “Really, they sent Goyle?” Fred said with a frown. “Guess they thought this would be too easy.”

    “They thought wrong!” George said with a mischievous smirk. “Stunners on three?”

    “One…” Fred said, raising his wand as he smirked as well.

    “Two…” George said as focused his wand on his target.

    “THREE! STUPEFY!” They yelled together, sending jets of red light towards the person on the roof. Instantly, the figure disappeared from the roof and they heard a ‘crunch’ as the body hit the snow.

    Pleased with themselves, the twins ran around the back of the house to where the Death Eater had fallen.

    Except, it wasn’t a Death Eater.

    Fred and George both paled as they looked at the unconscious man in the red suit with the long white beard, laying spread eagle in the thick snow.

    Simultaneously, the twins said,

    “Oh, *CENSOR*.”

    They had just Stupefied Santa Claus.
  2. Mira_Jade The NSWFF Manager With The Cape

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2004
    star 4
    *snicker fit*

    Only Fred and George would manage to land themselves in this particular pickle. [face_laugh] This looks to be like a lot of fun. =D=
  3. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    @Mira_Jade: Yep. Only Fred and George could get themselves into a mess like this.:D

    And, because I forgot to say this earlier, I don't own Harry Potter or the Weasley twins!
    Chapter Two:

    “We stunned Santa,” George said, panicked. “Oh, we’re on the Naughty List for sure this time.”

    “Forget about the Naughty List!” Fred said as he began to pace madly. “What are we going to do?”

    “I don’t know, I thought you were the smart twin! You’re supposed to know what to do!” George snapped.

    “Dude, I flunked Defense Against the Dark Arts. With Quirrel teaching,” Fred said calmly before yelling, “No, I’m not the smart twin!”

    “No need to yell, I’m not completely deaf. Yet!” George growled.

    Santa gave a low groan and the twins gave each other panicked looks.

    “Okay, don’t worry, we can fix this,” Fred said, giving George a smile. “Just do a small memory modification spell and tell him he slipped on the ice on the roof. All’s fixed.”

    “Yeah, okay, let’s do it,” George said.

    They stared at each other for a moment, then Fred said,

    “So, go on. Do the spell already.”

    George’s eyes widened.

    “I thought you knew how to do it!” He exclaimed.

    “Do I look like Hermione Granger to you?” Fred demanded. “No, I don’t know how to do it!”

    “Then why did you suggest it!” George snapped.

    “’Cause I thought you did!” Fred said.

    “Dude, I know the same amount of magic as you!” George said. He sighed. “We really should have finished that last year of Hogwarts.”

    “George. Don’t you ever say that again, or I’ll Bat-Bogey Hex you,” Fred said, his eyes narrowed. “Look, how hard can it be?” Fred said, grinning as he waved his wand wildly. “All you do is say ‘Obliviate’ and all’s-”

    The twins paled again as they looked over to see that Fred had accidentally succeeded in casting the spell. Their eyes widened as the spell hit the unconscious Father Christmas.

    “Uh…” Fred said, biting his lip. “Let’s hope it only erased the past five minutes.”

    That was when Santa sat up, looking around curiously.

    “Uh, Santa?” George said hesitantly.

    “Do you know who I am?” Santa asked the twins with wide, vacant eyes. “Are we friends?”

    The twins looked at each other with wide eyes again.

    “*BLEEP*!”

    “Is that my name?” Santa asked, tilting his head in confusion. “It doesn’t sound like a nice one.”

    “We Obliviated Santa’s entire memory,” Fred said, grabbing his hair with both hands. “What are we going to do?”

    “Oh, no, there is no ‘we’ in this one, Fred!” George said defensively. “This is all your fault!”

    “How does your thick skull come up with that?” Fred demanded with a glare.

    “You’re the one that did the Oblivation spell!” George snapped.

    “Well, you’re the one who suggested the—hey, where did he go?” Fred asked, looking around with his brow furrowed.

    There was no Santa Claus in sight. However, there was a red suit and black boots lying in the snow.

    “Uh, is Santa running around starkers?” George asked hesitantly as he picked up Santa’s hat from off the ground.

    “There’s no footprints,” Fred said as he held up Santa’s coat. “Weird that he disappeared. If he Disapparated, we’d have heard it, not to mention his clothes wouldn’t be here.”

    “Fred,” George said, a thought having just hit him. “What about all those kids who haven’t gotten presents delivered yet? Are they going to get their Christmas?”

    “You bet they’re getting Christmas, St. Georgy Boy,” Fred said determinedly with a smirk. “’Cause we’re going to give it to them.”

    George got the same smirk as his twin.

    “You better not pout, you better not cry, you better watch out, I’m telling you why. Gred and Forge Claus are coming to town.” George said, pulling the hat onto his head.
  4. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    Chapter Three:

    Fred and George climbed up to the top of the Burrow, where they found a big red sleigh with eight reindeer hooked up to it.

    “How the heck did we miss that?” George asked incredulously.

    “I have no idea,” Fred said as he started going through the sleigh’s contents. “Let’s just figure out how it works and where we’re going.”

    On the sleigh, they found a large sack of presents and a small piece of paper the size of the Marauder’s Map.

    “Wonder what this is,” Fred said as he began to unfold… and unfold… and unfold…

    “How many layers are there to this thing?” Fred grunted as he continued to unfold.

    The result was basically a large version of the Marauder’s Map that said where everyone in the world was. Each marker had to labels: one with a name, and the other being either ‘Naughty’ or ‘Nice’.

    “Hey, we somehow are still on the Nice List!” George said, grinning as he pointed at his and his brother’s names.

    “Now we just need to keep it that way,” Fred said. “Alright, this should tell us where to go. Now how do we get the reindeer to work?”

    “Let’s go get some of the roast from last night and give it to them!” George suggested as they sat in the seat of the sleigh.

    “What?” Fred said.

    “Well, that’s what Hagrid does with the Thestrals at Hogwarts,” George explained.

    “These guys are vegetarians,” Fred said.

    “What did they do to deserve that?” George asked. “Meat is great!”

    “Can’t say you’re wrong there,” Fred said. “Alright, how did it go in that rhyme again?”

    “Uh, on Rainbow Dasher, on Veela-dancer, on Strutter, and Richard Nixon! On Asteroid, on Stupid, On Dunder-head and Blizzard!” The twins shouted together.

    The reindeer each looked over their shoulder and raised an eyebrow, but shook their heads and took off anyway.

    “WOOHOO!!” The twins whooped as the sleigh rose into the air, flying away.

    “This is better than a broomstick!” Fred yelled.

    “Don’t be ridiculous!” George yelled back. “Broomsticks are the best!”

    Fred thought for a second.

    “Yeah, you’re right. Broomsticks top flying sleigh any old day!” He said.

    The reindeer glared over their shoulders again at that and snorted.

    The twins enjoyed themselves as they traveled around the world, dropping down chimneys and eating cookies.

    However, they did hit a few bumps.

    They got lost once and thought that they were in Antarctica when they were really in Alaska. Needless to say the Grizzly bears quickly told them that they were wrong. They also had to Stupefy a few dogs trying to attack, as well as a few other animals, some they later wondered would actually wake up from the Stunner. Then there were the talking toys they didn’t quite know how to turn off, try as they might. Those were the ones they quickly shoved under the tree and made a run for it.

    They also had to deal with the occasional kid waiting up to see Santa. In Tokyo, Japan, for instance…

    Fred landed with an ‘Oomph’ on the floor and quickly rolled out of the way so George didn’t land on him.

    “I think we’re getting the hang of this,” Fred said as George got up off the floor.

    “Yeah, haven’t landed on each other, fires, trees, presents or cats since we finished Africa,” George said, opening the sack of gifts.

    “What’s after Asia?” Fred asked as he reached into the bag.

    “Not sure, we’ll have to look at the…” George trailed off.

    “What?” Fred asked, looking up. George’s eyes were wide as he looked over Fred’s shoulder. Fred turned around and stood up.

    Standing at the room’s doorway were two young Japanese children, a girl about ten years old and a little boy about six.

    “Uh, hi!” Fred said with a wave. The two children stared at the twins in confusion. One began to speak in Japanese, then looked expectant for an answer.

    “I have no idea what you just said!” Fred said with a large smile on his face. “And you probably don’t have a clue what I’m saying, either. And that’s okay. We’ve got presents for you anyway.”

    The two children looked at each other and began to speak to each other in their native tongue.

    [Should we tell them we take English at school, Onee-Chan?] The little boy asked.

    [No, I don’t trust them,] The girl said to her little brother. [They don’t look like Santa. Plus they’re weirdoes. I mean, that one only has one ear.]

    “Yes, that’s right,” George said nodding with an idiotic smile, not having a clue what the kids were saying. “We’re leaving the presents! And eating the cookies! We’re Gred and Forge Claus tonight!”

    [They’re idiots, aren’t they?] The brother asked softly.

    The two watched as Fred and George stuck presents underneath the tree, tripping over the mats and low tables, cursing in the dark.

    [Yes, yes they are,] The girl said. She put her hands on her brother’s shoulders and gently pushed him down the hall. [Let’s go get Papa-San now. He’s got that large Samurai sword he can use on them…]

    [Maybe he’ll cut off the other’s ear, so that they’ll match,] The brother said.

    “Good-night!” Fred and George called after the children as they went down the hall.

    “They’re such cute kids,” Fred said. “Simply adorable.”

    “I know, and they must think we’re so awesome,” George said, grinning. “Well, this place is done, so let’s hit it.”

    As the twins flew over Japan a few minutes later, Fred yelled out with a wave,

    “Sayonara!”

    “Why are you yelling about cats?” George asked.

    “That’s a Siamese!” Fred explained.

    “That’s what’s on hamburger buns!”

    “No, you idiot, that’s sesame seeds!

    “I thought that was where Cookie Monster lived.”

    “That’s Sesame Street!”

    “Oh….”

    Australia was the last continent on their list. This surprisingly went well, except they did get a hitch-hiker who hopped in the sleigh when they weren’t looking.

    “FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN’S GREEN POLKA-DOTTED PANTS, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?” Fred yelled, pointing at the strange creature sitting in the corner of the sleigh, lazily munching on a carrot.

    When the reindeer skidded to a stop, the creature stood up on its four paws and gave them a look that clearly said “You’re out of carrots” and hopped out of the sleigh, going in search of more treats.

    Fred and George clung to each other as they watched the wombat saunter away into the outback, scarred for life.

    “We never mention this again,” George said once things had gotten quiet again.

    “Agreed.” Fred said, grabbing the reins and making the reindeer fly off before the creature could return.

    “So, where do we go now that we’re done?” George asked as they flew over the oceans.

    “Dunno,” Fred said, then looked at the reindeer. “But these guys do.”

    So the twins leaned back in the seat of the sleigh and fell asleep, letting the reindeer fly them to wherever it was they were going.

    When they woke up, they were in their own beds with Ginny banging on their door, telling them that they were going to open presents without them if they didn’t hurry up.

    For a while, Fred and George wondered if their Christmas Eve adventure was all just a dream.

    Until reality struck.
  5. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    Chapter Four:

    George laid in bed on Christmas Eve, staring up at the ceiling.

    Last year, he had gone on an amazing trip with Fred. His brother. His best friend. His twin. His other-half.

    And now he was gone.

    George sighed and climbed out of bed. His stomach felt uneasy and his heart ached. He felt like it was all just a bad dream… A dream he had been living for seven months now.

    George walked down the stairs of the Burrow. Just wandering aimlessly. Without purpose.

    That was him now: going places, doing things, all mindlessly. All robotic. All unfeeling, all uncaring.

    George sat down beside the dying fire in the living room, staring at the faintly glowing embers.

    “Why couldn’t it have been me?” He asked, taking the poker and jabbing at the cinders. “It should have been me.”

    “Don’t say that.”

    George jumped to his feet, wand out.

    “Who’s there?” He demanded, looking around in the darkness. He heard a deep chuckle and then a rotund person stepped out of the shadows. He wore a red suit with a matching hat and had a long white beard.

    “Someone who solemnly swears he’s up to no good,” The person said.

    George blinked.

    “Fred?” He whispered in amazement. “Fred, is that you?”

    “Yes, George, it’s me, though I go by another name now.”

    George fell backwards onto the couch.

    “What’s going on?” He demanded. “You can’t be my brother. You’re Santa Claus.”

    “Santa” chuckled as he sat beside George.

    “I have been and will always be your brother. And from now on, your brother will be me, Santa Claus.” He said.

    “Explain,” George said.

    Santa/Fred sighed.

    “I wasn’t supposed to live, you see,” He said. “In a way, I did die. Basically, I just got reincarnated. Or, at least, that’s how Twinkle describes it.”

    “Twinkle?” George questioned.

    “One of the elves at the North Pole,” Fred said. “She explained it to me: Jolly Old Saint Nick needs to be reincarnated every couple hundred years, to keep the spirit of Christmas alive and fresh. The one we Stupefied last Christmas was on his last year, we just helped him along. That’s partly why I got chosen. All I remember was being hit with Avada Kederva, and then there was this bright light. And I woke up as Father Christmas. I’m still me, I just now have a different job and a new body.”

    “A fat one at that,” George said with a snort.

    “Hey, remember who controls the Naughty and Nice list, now,” Fred reprimanded with a teasing look.

    “You’d put your own brother on the Naughty List?” George asked, now grinning.

    “Hey, I have greatly enjoyed personally delivering coal to ex-Death Eaters,” Fred said. Under the beard, he smirked. “Let’s just say, if you need coal, go to Malfoy Manor. They’re literally swimming in it.”

    George laughed. Then he had a thought.

    “So, does this mean you can come live with us again? Work in the shop? That kind of stuff?” He asked.

    Fred’s smile dropped.

    “Magic binds me to the North Pole except on Christmas Eve,” He said sadly. “Christmas is the only time we can see each other.”

    George’s heart hurt and sang at the same time.

    On one hand, he had his twin back.

    On the other hand, he couldn’t stay.

    “George, we look nothing alike now, but we’re always twins,” Fred said, almost as if reading his brother’s mind. Which he probably was. “As much as I wish we could be together forever, we just can’t. We both have to live separate lives.”

    “Mum was right,” George mumbled. “We can’t spend our entire lives joined at the hip.”

    “Mum’s always right,” Fred said. “Never forget that.”

    “Hard to forget,” George said with a smile. He paused and he ducked his head again. “It’s been horrible without you here. Mum cries all the time, everyone rarely smiles.”

    Fred nodded sadly.

    “I’m the same way. I miss you guys a lot,” He said. “And yet I get to see you all the time. You just can’t see me or interact with me.”

    “Fred? We can still see each other, right? On Christmas?” George asked

    “Of course,” Fred said. “Each and every Christmas. I’ll track you down and everything. Can’t run from me.”

    “I wouldn’t try.” George said. He hugged his brother, Santa Claus. “Love you, Fred.”

    “Love you, too, George,” Fred said, returning the hug. “Hey, before I forget, you need to find yourself a girl. Angelina likes you a lot, and you like her. Ask her out sometime.”

    “But she was your girlfriend,” George said, stunned. He ducked his head. “That’s why I never asked her out at school.”

    “Yeah, but like I said, she likes you. A lot,” Fred said. “She’s been beating herself up over it, too. Tell her I said I want you two to get together. That I want you two to be happy.”

    George smiled.

    “Thanks, Fred,” He said. “For everything.”

    “All part of the job,” Fred said with a wave. He stood up. “Now, you going to help me deliver presents and get me caught up on all the drama I missed or not?”

    George grinned and stood up.

    When the other members of the Weasley family, Harry and Hermione went to wake up George the following morning, they were surprised to see him sleeping with a smile on his face.

    A smile they had not seen since Fred’s death. And they were all happy to see it’s return.


    AN: My head cannon. I love it so.:D
  6. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    Merry Christmas Everyone!:D


    Epilogue: Five Christmases Later

    “Tori,” George whispered softly, gently shaking his sleeping four-year-old niece. “Tori, wake up.”

    “Huh?” Victoire Weasley mumbled as she sat up in bed, rubbing an eye. Her red-blond hair fell around her small shoulders perfectly, accenting her part-Veela ancestry. “Uncle George? What is it?”

    “I’ve got someone I want you to meet,” George said, picking up the small girl and setting her on his hip.

    Victoire’s brow furrowed as she looked around the roof, where George had Apparated to.

    “Why are we on the roof?” She asked.

    “You’ll see,” George said, wrapping her up in his coat.

    They waited in silence for several minutes then George whispered, “Do you hear that?”

    “Jingle bells?” Victoire said, straining her ears.

    “Yes,” George said. He pointed to the sky. “Now look there.”

    George grinned as Victoire’s eyes widened and her smile grew as she watched the flying sleigh pulled by reindeer flew through the sky, coming to land on the roof of the Burrow.

    “Uncle George, is that Santa?” Victoire asked in a whisper.

    “Well, let’s go find out,” George said. He set her down on the roof and held on tightly to her hand. The two made their way over to the man getting out of the sleigh.

    Santa Claus smiled at Victoire. His baby niece had grown so much over the past year, looking more like her mother every day. But of course, there was that Weasley air of mischief around her. And, of course, there was that red hair…

    “Ho ho ho,” He said. “There’s my favorite little girl. Top of the Nice list every year.”

    “Even when I break Mama’s vase by flying my broom?” Victoire asked hesitantly.

    “Even then,” Santa said. Victoire brightened.

    George knelt down to Victoire’s level.

    “Tori, this is someone very special. And not just to the world. He’s a very special member of our family,” He said.

    “Really?” Victoire asked, awed that she was related to Santa Claus.

    “Yes,” George said. He grinned up at his brother.

    “Victoire, meet your Uncle Fred.”
  7. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    I love this story! The beginning is so hilarious, and the end is so, so sweet [face_love]
  8. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    Thank you!:D
  9. Mira_Jade The NSWFF Manager With The Cape

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jun 29, 2004
    star 4
    Aww, what a sweet ending to a great fic. [face_love]
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