Have you ever been in love? (Part IV)

Well, I thought it was about time for the fourth installment in this series. For those unfamiliar with the "Have you ever been in love?" threads, here's a quick history lesson:

The idea for this thread began when I posted "Relationships: Your Point of View" in April of '99. The thread was successful in that it was full of serious discussion, yet it remained mostly calm. The topic consisted of general discussion about relationships, including topics like friendship, homosexuality and of course, love.

After that one was deleted in a pruning, I posted a thread called "Have you ever been in love?". It was just as successful as "Relationships", but this time it focused purely on the topic of love. Unfortunately, the thread was also lost in a pruning. I posted a few spin-offs afterwards (including "Sex??? BAH!!!" and "The Greatest Love of All"), so I gained somewhat of a reputation as a "mushy poster".

Sometime later, Darth 47.1 posted a sequel to "Have you ever been in love?". It sank to the bottom a few weeks after it was posted, and it was also lost in a pruning (Do you sense a pattern here?). After that, I posted "Have you ever been in love? Part III -Going through Emotions". Thankfully, this one lasted for a long time, and was even more successful (both in the quality and quantity of the posts) than all the previous installments. But, when the JC moved to Snowboard a few months ago, the thread was lost. So, here's part IV. Let's just hope that this one doesn't die an early death.


Now on, to the topic: Love. Have you ever encountered it? Have your experiences with love been positive, negative or a little of both? Feel free to discuss anything relating to love in this thread.

As for me, I have never been in love. But I've always been interested in the topic of love, for some reason. I hope that someday I'll be able to experience it and understand it better.

 

Oh, heck yeah. I'm in love right now. No, it's not with anyone on this board.

 

I'm in love with Bender, Probot and a pop culture reference.

And a whole lot more, but I don't want to come across as a whore.

 

Yes I have, and I am right now. In fact I have a girlfriend and I love her a lot.

 

I am in love now in fact and nothing could ever make me stop loving Her.

Though, it has been very trying and these recent times especially, but no matter what happens I will love Her, even if things between Her and I do not work out.

She means everything to me, and She always shall. She is the meaning to my life and the purpose of my existence.

(Note: I capitalise the "H" in Her and the "S" in She out reverence... or insanity ).

 

I've been in "like" but not love.

 

Yes! Joyfully, thankfully, yes. I've been in love with my-now husband for almost 8 years now. Even when we don't particularly like the other's attitude at times, the "in love" part only grows stronger. I'm extremely, humbly grateful for it.

 

Yes, been married for 10 years. I love my husband more now than ever! You know when you're in love with the right person when the chemistry is right, you both can committ to each other, and seeking God's guidance doesn't hurt, either. His parents have been married over 30 years and mine more than 40.

 

I'm glad this thread is back, it has a cool history, Thanks for making a new one, fellow 'Son.'

I've been in love twice. I actually met the second person on this board, weird as that sounds (and it is weird, ;-)) It didn't work out. Some old-school members may remember. I don't talk a lot about her, and she doesn't come here anymore. I'm not the same person since we broke up, and I'm glad for it. I'll never get in a relationship like that again. It was very complicated and harrowing, but it failed because she and I lacked two things that make relationships work: trust and communication.

I get bitter about the break-up sometimes, but for the first time in my life I'm so glad to be have the freedom to do whatever I want. It's something I cherish every day. Though losing her was the most shattering experience of my life, I've learned from it and begun to take better care of myself. I truly believe that you have to have self-respect before you can have a successful relationship. You gotta believe you're worth being loved.

 

I honestly don't know. Since both of the times I thought I was in love didn't work out. I don't think I was at the point in my life with either of them to be able to love them unconditionally. And I don't think I was worthy of being loved at either time. But I hope that if I ever do fall in love that I will be a better person by then. Im trying.

 

I am interested to see how this thread holds up in the "New Golden Age" JC of younger folks. I have a good feeling it will work out fine.

Love. Wow. Big word, isn't it? Here's my take:

(please note, this is personal belief being stated) For me, the ultimate form of Love is the Death of Jesus Christ. The ultimate sacrifice for Love. God is Love. All other forms of love are a direct immitation of that act. That being said, it is easy to see why I am careful to use the word love.

I don't think babies, toddlers, kids or teenagers can possibly understand what real love it. I don't think many adults ever realy understand, either. Nothing to me is more sad than when a young person declares their "love" for someone when it is clearly lust. For me, love is not "that fuzzy feeling inside". It is a deep emotional commitment that lasts for eternity. I would even go so far to say that maybe it is unfair to declare love until it is gone. Only then could one really know if it was love.

Honestly, I don't even know if I truly love my parents. I hope so.

That's love as an emotion. Love as an act is something else entirely.

Unselfish sacrifice for the pure benefit of another is what real love is all about. That does not mean watching a movie your girlfriend wants to watch because she'll do you a favor later. To me, true love is not reciprocating. If there is reciprocation, then isn't one doing their part for that "love" in return. True love is done knowing that nothing will be given back in return. True love hurts terribly, but one knows it is right.

That being said, I "love" Natalie... *SIGH*...

 

Emuboy, that was an outstanding definition of love.

 

Thanks JGM. I've thought a lot about it. Too much, maybe.

Later, I'll post my encounters with what is likely to be false love.

 

I'm in love with Darth 47.1

 

You're welcome, SoK! I just thought that the time was right for another thread on the topic. I just hope it remains as calm and intelligent as the previous installments.

Oh, and I agree with JGM. Excellent post, Emuboy.

 

Before meeting my husband, I thought I was in love twice. One was a "comfortable" relationship, but after several months my eye wandered (I went away to college). We got back together and later we both found someone new.
The other was with a person "who met all of my requirements" for being the love of my life (smart, believed in God, moral, would make a good living, etc.). I convinced myself to "choose" to love him because he was "the one". It turned out I was fooling myself. I hurt him terribly because I had to break up suddenly, or never. It scares me that I could have "fooled" myself into marrying him. My husband is the one for me. I'm 34 now and met him at 21 1/2. Very happy am I!

 

I thought I would be one of those people who wouldn't find true love. When I'm with her, I have this undescribeable feeling, that it must only be defined as true love.

 

To put into simpler terms:

Lust is a WANT. It's not pure. You're not thinking totally abstractly about a relationship, instead, you're stuck in the shallow end of the relationship pool.

Love is a true commitment that you're willing to make, even if it is at your own expense. Love is pure and true. It's the thing that truly brings two people together and makes them stay together.

Lustful relationships are often temporary, but relationships filled with love and compassion and true commitment are almost guaranteed to last.

 

I thought I new what love was...something I was chasing that never seemed to slow down long enough for me to latch on. Then I stopped chasing it and lo' and behold if it didn't smack me upside the head!

I had a group of friends that got together to chat every once and a while. One night a friend brought in one of her friends. We got to know each other and became friends. One thing led to another and we fell in love.

It was something earth-shattering. Everything felt, looked, tasted differently. Been in love ever since

 

yes, I'm in love. It has it's ups and downs, but that's the same with all relationships. Nothing can be perfect all the time. The difference is I love her unconditionally, and I will always love her.

 

Right now, I am not in love. I'm not sure that I ever have been. I have had many fruitful relationships and just as many bad ones. I'm a young guy, I don't know myself very well, and so I don't know love.

I am seeing someone right now and I love to be around her, but it's too soon to say. We're both too young to know what we want in life (I'm only 19), so love isn't fair for us. Fun is fair, though.

Love is something that one learns.

 

Natalie Portman is my soul mate!

 

I've been in love before. Twice. About a year ago I met a great guy, and we became friends, and that turned into the purest, sweetest love I had ever experianced. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Now I don't think he ever loved me at all. In June, our relationship stopped. It just....stopped completely. There was no fight, no warning, no nothing. I talked to him one night, and then I had to go on a trip, I came back and I haven't heard from him since. That was 5 months ago. Now tell me if it's possible to really love somebody and then abandon them like that. The thing was, I really really loved him with all my heart and soul. I was ready to give up anything and everything for him. I still love him...somewhat. It just really hurts a lot.

But right when that was happening, I met another guy. I didn't think much of the friendship at first, but as time passed, and we talked more and more, I started to have feelings for him. He is the reason I survived what happened with the other guy. This was no "hey he's kinda cute, let's hook up" kind of thing. It was different. I felt like he really really cared about me and loved me, and I didn't want to let that go. I was very hesitant to accept that, because of what happened to me before though. But he was different than the last one. He says he loves me very much, and I believe him. He shows me how much every day. It's weird. I thought I was being loved before, but it was nothing like this. I'm still terrified that he's going to abandon me or that this is all a sham or something. He assures me that it isn't...but I'm still scared. When you go through what I did, it messes you up a lot.

So anyway, that's my story, and to answer the question, yes I have been in love, I am now and I plan to stay that way.

 

There's no way I've been in love. I've "liked a whole lot", but it's not love. Someday I'll be "in love", but not now. I've only had one really good, comfortable relationship. It wasn't love though, but that's okay. Because I know someday I'll find someone that I can love.

 

BMW3, she's mine, Ask anyone else around here.