Before Healer Record of Qui-Gon Jinn -- ~~~ Updated 9/8~~~ Seriously, new post!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Layren, Jul 22, 2005.

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  1. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Title: A Healer's Record of Qui-Gon Jinn
    Author(s): Layren and Neon Star
    Category: Humor
    Rating: G
    Author's Note: We're back in action! For those of you who remember the original Healer record written with Charmisjess, due to lack of time and interest she has given the bunny back to the original author. Neon Star will be collaborating in her place, since she was the original author of the bunny :D We are huge feedback junkies! Feed us! :D





    Begin Healer Han'yaie's Record of Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn


    Full Name: Qui-Gon Edith Jinn
    Species: Human
    Gender: Male
    Homeworld: Classified
    Last Recorded Age: 60
    Height: 6'4"
    Weight: 215
    Eye color: Blue
    Hair color : Brown with gray streaks
    Age When Brought to the Temple: 9 standard months
    Reason for File: Purging system records of deceased patients.


    Start Record Conditions of subject

    Age subject came to Temple. Arrived safe and sound and in one piece. The last time he'd ever arrive at my office in one piece.

    Age One: Tripped over Master Yoda and broke his arm. The venerable Master has taken an instant dislike to this young one.

    Age 2: Bitten by poisonous plant.
    Age 2: Plant bite getting worse.
    Age 2: Near death. Gave him a shot to clear it up.
    Age 2: Recovering. Could not give second shot as was kicked several times. Broken knee. Have new nickname for him: Qui-Pain Jinn.
    Age 2: Fell out of a tree in the gardens and broke his leg. How in the Force did a two-year-old climb that high?
    Age 3: Fell on Master Yan Dooku. Minor scrapes and bruises.
    Age 3: Fell downstairs thanks to Master Yoda's gimmer stick. I've been telling him it's a health hazard for years.
    Age 3: Fell on top of Master Rhy'ul of the Jedi Council. Slight bump on the head where he should've had a concussion. Apparently this child is thicker headed than the rest in my experience.
    Age 4: Stomach flu. Treated easily.
    Age 4: Fell downstairs again, thanks to Yoda. I think the Master makes it a habit to trip the boy once a year. Broken left leg.
    Age 5: Shots. Tied him down to give them. Was bitten three times but eventually managed.
    Age 5: Came in demanding to know what a Sith was. I told him to ask Yoda. Yoda waved his gimmer stick at the two of us and said he would understand when he was older.
    Age 5: Bitten by stray animal he tried to bring home. Rash developing.
    Age 5: Rash clearing up.
    Age 5: Kidnapped while still sick. Brought back a new deadly disease and a stray cat with him.
    Age 5: Shots to get the disease out of his system. Two of the other healers have broken legs from Qui- Pain Jinn. Just how do they teach five-year-olds to kick that hard?
    Age 5: Disease finally gone but tripped down the stairs over Master Yoda again his first day out of the Healers. Demanded he was fine while he hopped on one leg.
    Age 5: Fell in the river and near drowned. Initiate Kyran Josel rescued him and the crèche Master dragged him to see me.
    Age 6: Treated for nightmares about near drowning. Give him medication and send him back to bed.
    Age 6: Poisoned by something in the gardens. Easily treated.
    Age 6: Master Yoda's yearly ritual of tripping the boy. Mild concussion.

    (Record continuation on next page.)



    Edited -- for timeline continuity purposes.
  2. lazykbys_left Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2005
    star 4
    Age 6: Master Yoda's yearly ritual of tripping the boy. Mild concussion.

    [face_laugh] Picking on someone his own size, was he?

    Looking forward to more!

    - lazy
  3. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    [face_laugh] I SO needed a good laugh today!
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Yay, reworked! Welcome back!
  5. Aya-Na_Bashu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2005
    star 2
    I now know where Obi-Wan gets it from. [face_laugh]
  6. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Age 5: Kidnapped while still sick. Brought back a new deadly disease and a stray cat with him.

    Can't forget the stray cat, eh? [face_laugh] Love it.
  7. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Hahahahahaha [face_laugh] This is great :D
  8. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    See what did I tell ya? His love for all lifeforms plant and animal alike would get the best of him. o_O

    [face_laugh]
  9. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    LOL. Qui Pain Jinn, indeed. The times he falls off/gets beaten up/ends up with diseases... [face_laugh]

    Lovely work, you two! =D=
  10. VadersMistress Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2004
    star 6
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I needed that! Thanks for the laughs!
  11. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Master Yoda is a secret Sith. We can tell by the records!!!! Good job.
  12. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    Brilliant! Oh, I'm coming over all nostalgic, and I think I shall cry. Oh well.
  13. Shadowolf Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2005
    star 2
    Oh my, Yoda really did have it in for young Qui-Pain...er Qui-Gon didn't he? No wonder those two never seemed to get along!

    Cute, Y'all, looking forward to more!
  14. corellian-jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 2
    Absolutely hilarious! And jeez, I knew Yoda used that gimmer stick for more sinister activities!

    For walking? As if - bah humbug!
  15. Black_Scout Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 10, 2003
    star 4
    Yey, I love these sorts of things they always make me laugh. great start.
  16. kateydidnt Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 4
    Yeah! glad you're back!
  17. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    ha ha! master yodas yearly ritual! demanding what a sith is! ha ha...

    this is so funny, I cant wait for more!

    absolutely delightful. thanks for the read!

    LOVE AND PEACE.
  18. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    lazykbys_left That is exactly what Yoda is doing ;)

    VaderLVR Glad we could help you out ;) Don't you need to reply to my pm about Anakin's record sometime this year ;)

    DarthIshtar Thank you! It's great to be back!

    Aya-Na_Bashu Yep, like Master, like padawan :D

    Commander_DWH Of course ! This is Qui-Gon we're talking about ;)

    lost_jedii Thanks!

    Kynstar Of course! You should know that by now ;)

    Princess_Arulmozhi More of those to come ;) THanks for reading! You know how much I admire your work! Your compliments mean a lot to me!

    VadersMistress Glad we could help :D

    Diane Now *there's* a good plot bunny :D Why don't you write it ;)

    Darksaber Nostalgic ? What for? Glad you liked it :)

    Shadowolf Yes Yoda did have it in for young Qui. Possibly that's why Qui-Gon is the rebel we know him as now ;)

    corellian-jedi Well it's obvious he doesn't need it for just walking :p I think it was just a portable device for whacking shins of unsuspecting padawans :p

    Black_Scout Glad we could make you laugh! Hope to do some more ;)

    kateydidnt Thanks! We're happy to be here too :D

    JOINME Glad you enjoyed it and welcome to the Forums!


    Sorry this new post is a bit short! It's been a rough week as my husband gave me his cold :p :)





    Age 7: Nasty case of flu. Hopefully he won?t give it to anyone else.
    Age 7: Spoke too soon. Senior Initiate Kyran Josel now afflicted. Quarantined the two in hopes of limiting contact with everyone else. I hope this season passes quickly.
    Age 7: Flu getting worse. Gave new medication.
    Age 7: Medication not working. Now I have it. Somebody shoot me with a blaster and put me out of my misery, please.
    Age 7: No one volunteered.
    Age 7: Finally both are released from my ward. Good riddance. Have named their section the Josel-Jinn Ward.
    Age 7: Depression with his friend Kyran off on his first mission. Assured him he was still loved and gave him medication to assist him to sleep.
    Age 7: Allergic reaction to the medication. Why me?
    Age 7: Amazingly not here for himself, but visiting Padawan Josel. Received a dirty look as I tried to take Kyran?s blood.
    Age 8: Will Yoda please stop tripping the boy? I am going to break that stick of his.
    Age 8: Broken fingers by getting two of them caught in a lift tube door. Even the building fixtures are out to get the kid.
    Age 8: Kidnapped. Rescued four days later. Arrived in my ward beaten, half-starved and dehydrated. This time I actually have sympathy for Qui-Pain Jinn.
    Age 8: Broken nose from running into a glass door. Sometimes I wonder about this kid.

    (Record continuation on the next page)





  19. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
  20. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] This is great! Love Yoda's yearly tripping ritual. There's another use for his stick! :p And the Josel-Jinn Ward.

    Great job! :D

    Could you pm me when you update?
  21. corellian-jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2005
    star 2
    Age 7: Depression with his friend Kyran off on his first mission. Assured him he was still loved and gave him medication to assist him to sleep.
    Age 7: Allergic reaction to the medication. Why me?


    [face_laugh] Sucks to be a healer! Josel-Jinn Ward. *snicker*

    Quite the laugh, do continue.
  22. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    Ha ha! great update!

    I really like the Healer too, he/she seems very long suffering.. :p

    'why me?' lol...

    Josel Jinn! ha ha! fantastic.

    can't wait for more!

    LOVE AND PEACE.

    p.s. thanks for the welcome.. :)
  23. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    <<Age 7: Medication not working. Now I have it. Somebody shoot me with a blaster and put me out of my misery, please.
    Age 7: No one volunteered.
    >>

    I could've sworn I reviewed this. I bet that Vinny the Blackhole ate it so that I'd be in trouble!

    Forgive me, please.

    Vagueness = humor.
    Bluntness = humor.
    V + B = H²


    Very nicely done. [face_laugh]
  24. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    It's back!!!!!!!! *Runs around before running into Qui-gon Jinn*

    Jon: [face_beatup]

    Jinn: [face_beatup]

    Ouch...

    So funny!
  25. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
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