Before - Legends Healer Record of Qui-Gon Jinn -- ~~~ Updated 9/8~~~ Seriously, new post!

Title: A Healer's Record of Qui-Gon Jinn
Author(s): Layren and Neon Star
Category: Humor
Rating: G
Author's Note: We're back in action! For those of you who remember the original Healer record written with Charmisjess, due to lack of time and interest she has given the bunny back to the original author. Neon Star will be collaborating in her place, since she was the original author of the bunny We are huge feedback junkies! Feed us!





Begin Healer Han'yaie's Record of Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn


Full Name: Qui-Gon Edith Jinn
Species: Human
Gender: Male
Homeworld: Classified
Last Recorded Age: 60
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 215
Eye color: Blue
Hair color : Brown with gray streaks
Age When Brought to the Temple: 9 standard months
Reason for File: Purging system records of deceased patients.


Start Record Conditions of subject

Age subject came to Temple. Arrived safe and sound and in one piece. The last time he'd ever arrive at my office in one piece.

Age One: Tripped over Master Yoda and broke his arm. The venerable Master has taken an instant dislike to this young one.

Age 2: Bitten by poisonous plant.
Age 2: Plant bite getting worse.
Age 2: Near death. Gave him a shot to clear it up.
Age 2: Recovering. Could not give second shot as was kicked several times. Broken knee. Have new nickname for him: Qui-Pain Jinn.
Age 2: Fell out of a tree in the gardens and broke his leg. How in the Force did a two-year-old climb that high?
Age 3: Fell on Master Yan Dooku. Minor scrapes and bruises.
Age 3: Fell downstairs thanks to Master Yoda's gimmer stick. I've been telling him it's a health hazard for years.
Age 3: Fell on top of Master Rhy'ul of the Jedi Council. Slight bump on the head where he should've had a concussion. Apparently this child is thicker headed than the rest in my experience.
Age 4: Stomach flu. Treated easily.
Age 4: Fell downstairs again, thanks to Yoda. I think the Master makes it a habit to trip the boy once a year. Broken left leg.
Age 5: Shots. Tied him down to give them. Was bitten three times but eventually managed.
Age 5: Came in demanding to know what a Sith was. I told him to ask Yoda. Yoda waved his gimmer stick at the two of us and said he would understand when he was older.
Age 5: Bitten by stray animal he tried to bring home. Rash developing.
Age 5: Rash clearing up.
Age 5: Kidnapped while still sick. Brought back a new deadly disease and a stray cat with him.
Age 5: Shots to get the disease out of his system. Two of the other healers have broken legs from Qui- Pain Jinn. Just how do they teach five-year-olds to kick that hard?
Age 5: Disease finally gone but tripped down the stairs over Master Yoda again his first day out of the Healers. Demanded he was fine while he hopped on one leg.
Age 5: Fell in the river and near drowned. Initiate Kyran Josel rescued him and the crèche Master dragged him to see me.
Age 6: Treated for nightmares about near drowning. Give him medication and send him back to bed.
Age 6: Poisoned by something in the gardens. Easily treated.
Age 6: Master Yoda's yearly ritual of tripping the boy. Mild concussion.

(Record continuation on next page.)



Edited -- for timeline continuity purposes.

 

Age 6: Master Yoda's yearly ritual of tripping the boy. Mild concussion.

Picking on someone his own size, was he?

Looking forward to more!

- lazy

 

I SO needed a good laugh today!

 

Yay, reworked! Welcome back!

 

I now know where Obi-Wan gets it from.

 

Age 5: Kidnapped while still sick. Brought back a new deadly disease and a stray cat with him.

Can't forget the stray cat, eh? Love it.

 

Hahahahahaha This is great

 

See what did I tell ya? His love for all lifeforms plant and animal alike would get the best of him.

 

LOL. Qui Pain Jinn, indeed. The times he falls off/gets beaten up/ends up with diseases...

Lovely work, you two!

 

I needed that! Thanks for the laughs!

 

Master Yoda is a secret Sith. We can tell by the records!!!! Good job.

 

Brilliant! Oh, I'm coming over all nostalgic, and I think I shall cry. Oh well.

 

Oh my, Yoda really did have it in for young Qui-Pain...er Qui-Gon didn't he? No wonder those two never seemed to get along!

Cute, Y'all, looking forward to more!

 

Absolutely hilarious! And jeez, I knew Yoda used that gimmer stick for more sinister activities!

For walking? As if - bah humbug!

 

Yey, I love these sorts of things they always make me laugh. great start.

 

Yeah! glad you're back!

 

ha ha! master yodas yearly ritual! demanding what a sith is! ha ha...

this is so funny, I cant wait for more!

absolutely delightful. thanks for the read!

LOVE AND PEACE.

 

lazykbys_left That is exactly what Yoda is doing

VaderLVR Glad we could help you out Don't you need to reply to my pm about Anakin's record sometime this year

DarthIshtar Thank you! It's great to be back!

Aya-Na_Bashu Yep, like Master, like padawan

Commander_DWH Of course ! This is Qui-Gon we're talking about

lost_jedii Thanks!

Kynstar Of course! You should know that by now

Princess_Arulmozhi More of those to come THanks for reading! You know how much I admire your work! Your compliments mean a lot to me!

VadersMistress Glad we could help

Diane Now *there's* a good plot bunny Why don't you write it

Darksaber Nostalgic ? What for? Glad you liked it

Shadowolf Yes Yoda did have it in for young Qui. Possibly that's why Qui-Gon is the rebel we know him as now

corellian-jedi Well it's obvious he doesn't need it for just walking I think it was just a portable device for whacking shins of unsuspecting padawans

Black_Scout Glad we could make you laugh! Hope to do some more

kateydidnt Thanks! We're happy to be here too

JOINME Glad you enjoyed it and welcome to the Forums!


Sorry this new post is a bit short! It's been a rough week as my husband gave me his cold





Age 7: Nasty case of flu. Hopefully he won?t give it to anyone else.
Age 7: Spoke too soon. Senior Initiate Kyran Josel now afflicted. Quarantined the two in hopes of limiting contact with everyone else. I hope this season passes quickly.
Age 7: Flu getting worse. Gave new medication.
Age 7: Medication not working. Now I have it. Somebody shoot me with a blaster and put me out of my misery, please.
Age 7: No one volunteered.
Age 7: Finally both are released from my ward. Good riddance. Have named their section the Josel-Jinn Ward.
Age 7: Depression with his friend Kyran off on his first mission. Assured him he was still loved and gave him medication to assist him to sleep.
Age 7: Allergic reaction to the medication. Why me?
Age 7: Amazingly not here for himself, but visiting Padawan Josel. Received a dirty look as I tried to take Kyran?s blood.
Age 8: Will Yoda please stop tripping the boy? I am going to break that stick of his.
Age 8: Broken fingers by getting two of them caught in a lift tube door. Even the building fixtures are out to get the kid.
Age 8: Kidnapped. Rescued four days later. Arrived in my ward beaten, half-starved and dehydrated. This time I actually have sympathy for Qui-Pain Jinn.
Age 8: Broken nose from running into a glass door. Sometimes I wonder about this kid.

(Record continuation on the next page)

 

Josel-Jinn! HEHEEE!

 

This is great! Love Yoda's yearly tripping ritual. There's another use for his stick! And the Josel-Jinn Ward.

Great job!

Could you pm me when you update?

 

Age 7: Depression with his friend Kyran off on his first mission. Assured him he was still loved and gave him medication to assist him to sleep.
Age 7: Allergic reaction to the medication. Why me?

Sucks to be a healer! Josel-Jinn Ward. *snicker*

Quite the laugh, do continue.

 

Ha ha! great update!

I really like the Healer too, he/she seems very long suffering..

'why me?' lol...

Josel Jinn! ha ha! fantastic.

can't wait for more!

LOVE AND PEACE.

p.s. thanks for the welcome..

 

<<Age 7: Medication not working. Now I have it. Somebody shoot me with a blaster and put me out of my misery, please.
Age 7: No one volunteered. >>

I could've sworn I reviewed this. I bet that Vinny the Blackhole ate it so that I'd be in trouble!

Forgive me, please.

Vagueness = humor.
Bluntness = humor.
V + B = H²

Very nicely done.

 

It's back!!!!!!!! *Runs around before running into Qui-gon Jinn*

Jon:

Jinn:

Ouch...

So funny!

 

Please post soon