Before - Legends Healer Record of Qui-Gon Jinn -- ~~~ Updated 9/8~~~ Seriously, new post!

Age 16: Caught Kesselian flu while on mission, though, none of us know how he could possibly have done that, considering that virus has been extinct for about a hundred years...

Only Qui-Gon.

 

Looks like Yoda is still up to this old tricks. Its a wonder Qui survived to train Obi. And only Qui (well, maybe Obi) could contract some illness that's been extinct for thousands of years! Great job!

 

We'd love some more...

 

LOL!


SO thats why his nose is crooked...

 

You MUST update this! It's hysterical!

 

Yes, yes, to everyone you listen...

 

Black Scout Thanks!

hyperspace_police You know Yoda -- he's not the smallest Jedi in the Order without some consequences! Thanks for reading!

PadawanKaterina Thank you for reading! Working on encouraging my muse which is rather sporadic these days

Kelia Thank you!

Katielessar I'm glad you enjoyed it! Making people laugh is always fun

stormqueen874 Yep now you do! Thanks for reading!

Healer_Leona I'm glad it gave you a good laugh

Kylie_Jinn Of course! What kind of good Jedi wouldn't get into trouble?

dianethx The miracles of Force healing Thanks for reading! You know how much I value your comments!

Aya-Na_Bashu Yep only Qui-Gon

Jedi_Tigris Yoda ensured that he survived -- how we'll never know

DarthIshtar Ask and ye shall receive

KylieKenobi Yep! That's why

Magenta_Moonshadow One update coming right up!




Alrighty sorry for the long wait everyone but with all the crap that happened in my life last month, my humor muse took a vacation. She finally decided to come back enough for a short post Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!



Age 19: He?s lived longer than I thought already. Have to give him credit for something.
Age 19: Or not. Vibroblade wound to the side ? nearly bled to death on the lower streets of Coruscant. Ran afoul of a gang while attempting to rescue yet another pathetic life form.
Age 19: Tripped over his own feet down the stairs this time. Broken arm, toes and one pinky finger. How did he manage that?
Age 19: Clumsiness isn?t an issue as much as his cooking. Set fire to Master Dooku?s apartment by trying to make toast. Tried to stop said fire by using his robe and his bare hands. Insists that it wasn?t his fault and that the toaster jammed before he could get the bread up. Master Dooku looks about to burst a blood vessel in his neck. Gave him sedatives and treated burns on Qui-Gon?s hands.
Age 19: Burns getting infected. Master Dooku requesting more sedatives.
Age 19: Master Dooku began hyperventilating when we considered cutting off Padawan Jinn?s arm to heal the infection which has spread. Merely changed the boy?s medication first to see if that would help.
Age 19: Infection not responding to medication ? might have to resort to more drastic measures. Dooku resumed panicking.
Age 19: Infection finally clearing up ? found something that worked and not a moment too soon.
Age 20: Infection cleared completely and released from the ward only to be back five hours later. Yoda. Stairs. I hate my job.
Age 20: Amazingly enough he?s not here for himself this time but for his Master. Dooku got a rather nasty blaster wound to the stomach by protecting a senator from assassination. Bacta for Dooku ? for the next five days.
Age 20: I'm amazed this boy is still alive. More trauma -- got his toe stuck in the drain of the shower in his apartment. Best laugh I've had in a long time as he was still covered with suds. Extracted his foot by using cooking oil. Master Dooku requested more sedatives.
Age 20: Sedative shortage. Poor Master Dooku -- Poor me. I want to retire -- Force help me. Broken ribs for Qui-Gon. Got ran over by a speeder on his way out of the Temple with Knight Josel.
Age 20: Yoda. Stairs. I'm putting in a request for the Council to remove all stairs and replace them with ramps. Concussion this time.

 

Yoda. Stairs. I hate my job.

Age 20: Sedative shortage. Poor Master Dooku -- Poor me. I want to retire -- Force help me. Broken ribs for Qui-Gon. Got ran over by a speeder on his way out of the Temple with Knight Josel.

Age 20: Yoda. Stairs. I'm putting in a request for the Council to remove all stairs and replace them with ramps. Concussion this time.



Hey, Yoda tripped Qui 2 times in one year? I guess he must have been making up for the previous year. And the sedative shortage, lol! Does the healer really think ramps would help? I'm sure other things would happen...

Loved it! Really brightened up my day.

 

This is hilarious. I wonder how the record will look when he has a Padawan of his own. Am really enjoying this.

 

So;

Yoda + Stairs = Qui Gon visiting the healers



Loved the post

 

Man, I needed a good laugh, and here's one available! Great job, and I hope you update again soon!

KT

 

this is soo funny... at what age did he die again?? Is this going to be written up to that point??

can you pm me with updates? iF u cant its allright.

 

Of course he hates his job. WHen does QUi-gon learn how to drive?

 

I totally love this and the Obi-Wan Record as well. So brilliantly hilarious!! Great job!!

 

Age 20: Yoda. Stairs. I'm putting in a request for the Council to remove all stairs and replace them with ramps. Concussion this time.

Bravo! Bravo!

 

You never fail to make me laugh, even this early in the morning and knowing I have a full day ahead of me!

Age 19: He?s lived longer than I thought already. Have to give him credit for something.
Age 19: Or not. Vibroblade wound to the side ? nearly bled to death on the lower streets of Coruscant. Ran afoul of a gang while attempting to rescue yet another pathetic life form.

Well, it IS sort of a miracle that Qui-Gon lived to the ripe old age of 60! Stupid Sith!

Bravo on ANOTHER incredible post!

 

Oh my goodnes, I love these...

Needed to chuckle before the evil exam in Spanish...

Now, if the insturctor would only let me translate stuff like this....

Oh well,
Keep up the good work

 

This was hilarious. Loved that the healer keeps wondering why Qui's still alive. As for the stairs, maybe they should just get rid of Yoda and keep the stairs.

Poor Dooku. He keeps up on the tranquilizers and he's going to have to go to rehab!

Great job. Love it.

 

I just started reading this and the one about Obi. These are great!! I can't wait to see what trouble Qui gets in once Obi comes along.

 

i]Yoda. Stairs. I hate my job. [/i]



I'm sure Yoda is just misunderstood....

Loved the update!!

 

I don't know which to do laugh at how funny this is or cry for poor Qui-Gon.

This is the best laugh I've had in a long time. Good work.

 

Age 14: Fell through the roof of the Council Chambers on top of his own Master who was in the room giving a report at the time. Plexiglass cuts on his toes and on his face. Sedatives for Dooku. This boy will be lucky to reach age 15.
Age 15: Miracles do happen.

Indeed.

I don't think Yoda should be allowed around younglings. He's much more malignant than I expected.

In addition, the ramp idea is beginning to sound very sensible.

Beauuuttifull, mi'lady!

 

Jedi_Tigris Yep, Yoda was making up for the year before where Qui-Gon got out unscathed from his stick Glad we could put a smile on your face!

Indra Hrm, I wonder too Thanks for reading!

Black_Scout Thank you!

Killik_Swarm Well sorry it wasn't soon, but we hope you'll forgive us anyway as here's a new post!

KylieKenobi Qui-Gon was supposedly 60 when he died, though not sure if we'll stick to canon or not, though it might be easiest

DarthIshtar Thanks for reading!

LilyHobbitJedi Thank you!

DriftingThread Thanks!

VaderLVR64 Wow, lady, coming from you that's a huge compliment

Healer_Leona Yep, he's a silly man That's why we love him!

hyperspace_police Glad we could give you a laugh!

Dianethx You know that's harder than it sounds -- getting rid of Yoda Even Palpatine couldn't do that

Genimay Thanks for reading!

Kelia Tell that to poor Qui-Gon's bruised legs

Lea-El Glad we could make you laugh!

Fluff-Slayer Ramp is sensible eh ? We'll see




Forgive us all for the extreme delay in posting. My humor muse took a near permanent vacation and I somehow enticed her to return after Neon sent me her part of the post this weekend Thanks so much to everyone who voted for us in the awards!!


Age 21: Forget the ramps, they're just as dangerous. Knight Jinn, (Yes, I was just as shocked to find he managed to get promoted before the Council killed him.) He somehow fell down a ramp, in the Senate building, while visiting a friend there, and somehow managed to amass a mess of bruises. Nothing broken though, thankfully.

Age 21: Amusingly, here because of a bite wound, and it's not from any of the rabid animals he seems to court around the place. It is from the youngling Knight Jinn has so kindly delivered to us. Note my sarcasm. That darling child, beautiful though he may be, is a demon in angel skin. He's already bent the needles of any hypo we've tried to get near him to give him his vaccinations, and the kidling is only three.

Age 21: Tripped, but not on Master Yoda for once. Rather on a certain child he just brought back. Finally managed to get the kid's name from my apprentice. Xanatos Crion, of Telos. Force help us, I feel the kid will be a monster. As is, Qui-gon suffered more bruises to the now just fading ones from earlier.

Age 21: Master Yoda must have felt left out, as Qui-gon is back, due to being tripped by the troll. This really must be the year of falling.

Age 22: Temporarily went blind, unknown cause. Have a feeling it is linked to all the falling incidences of last year or else he caught sight of Xanatos again and the horror blinded him. He's fine now, though, as the blindness lasted only a week.

Age 22: Trying to decide, is Josel dangerous for Jinn, or is Jinn dangerous for Josel. Those two should not be together, they keep getting into trouble. Oh, and Callister made another infamous appearance, dragging them both back, rather beat up from their last mission together. How could they mess up a simple trade agreement? As is, Jinn suffered three broken ribs, two broken fingers on his left hand, and of course, broke his nose again. Josel had a blaster wound to the side and a broken right arm. Callister just wanted headache meds, lots of them.

Age 22: Xanatos has returned. The supposed darling has rebroken Qui-Gon?s fingers, though, Jinn refuses to tell me exactly how he could have done so. Have this feeling the knight is attached to the little demon. Have no idea why.

Age 23: Dooku has requested more sedatives, Callister has begged off more headache meds then is probably healthy for his species, Josel has been in bacta for a day now, and Jinn is locked in a soundproof room, along with being strapped to a bed by Force cuffs. And I can't say what happened, because Master Yoda warned me that it would be erased from the records the minute I did

 

This is a guilty pleasure. How can it be so funny and painfully tragic at the same time.

Love your work. Glad your muse is back.

Congratulation on your awards.