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Before - Legends Healing Hearts: OC with Yoda, drama, angst Updated 9/6 Completed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediKaren, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    Title: Healing Hearts
    Author: JediKaren
    Timeframe: prior to the Phantom Menace
    Characters: Yoda, SaraFire, and minor other characters.
    Genre: OC, drama, angst, H/C, pre-TPM
    Summary: Sarafire is a 12 year old trainee who has lost all hope to being a Jedi and has turn to self destruct herself. By an accident she attracts the attention, care, and admiration of Master Yoda, who helps her gain all she ever wanted.
    Disclaimer: GL gets all the credit for all star wars characters.

    Pm List:
    Gkilkenny
    Alasse_Earfalas
    earlybird-obi-wan
    Sabriel_Orion
    celine
    EGKenobi
    JediMasterAmanda
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    darshaassant
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    Please pm me or tell me in your comment if you want to be added.
     
  2. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    Sarafire was a clumsy, awkward girl, stumbling into adolescent hood. She was not a popular or liked girl for her long limbs that seemed to get everywhere, at the worst times, in the worst places. She was known to trip or be easily scared and would drop or break anything around her. Anything in her hands would be damaged beyond repair. While she was weak to moderator in the most skills of the Force, she had an unusual strength in telekinesis that was the cause behind all the accidents.

    It had been long known that troubled and strongly emotional children, generally around Sarafire?s age were prone to telekinetic outbursts that would send out a powerful wave of the Force through the room and cause everything to fall over and usually break. The teachers taught control of oneself and in the Force. Yet, no one knew why Sarafire was prone to them.

    To the average eye of a Jedi, she seemed well controlled enough. She was polite, quiet, and shy. In class she only talked when called on, never venturing anything else. Yet it was obvious she was smart and had a real flare for writing and expressing the exact point the teacher wanted the students to get. She, unfortunately, was a mastermind of mind control. The mind control she practiced was not the normal type that involved making people think something else by using the Force. She didn?t need the Force. She knew the act of acting and convincing everyone through words and actions that things were ok.

    But to the eye of someone who ventured to look deeper, she couldn?t be any more troubled or upset. She had learned to hate the world she lived it, the other students she studied with, and the person she was. In her eyes she could do nothing right. In truth, she was the center of teasing and cruel jokes that children tell another to gain popularity and push the weaker ones down. Each day seemed to be another battle in a war to wear her down. Kids took turns trying to scare her or trip her. Her knees and elbows were covered in bruises and bumps from the many falls. She had learned to keep her head down and never look at anyone in the eye, fearing to anger them or inspire malevolence plans.

    Jedi were taught by so called wiser Jedi that evil acts were wrong and hatred was forbidden, but those things still went on among the students. Sarafire didn?t want to blame the teachers for not interfering. She was too respectful of their superior wisdom to feel anything negative to them. She felt this was her fault and the pain she daily suffered was her punishment for failing in the Force. For the last year the self pain and doubt had grown to new heights as she started to realize she would never become a Jedi.

    She went from lesson to lesson, steadily performing worse as the months went by. At one point she was the head of her class, but she had dropped pass the half way point. She no longer cared for what the teachers taught. The lessons were designed to help the students become apprentices and ultimately become knights. So she argued with herself, why learn things she?ll never be able to do?


    The teachers didn?t see it this way and tried to push her further. They called on her more, gave her more work to do, scolded her more, and generally made her feel worse. Her grade reports were full of complaints about lack of contention, no will or drive, rarely turning in homework, and doing poorly on tests. Sarafire was desperately waiting for the day they would end this misery and cast her out of the temple.

    In the mean time the pain had gotten too much for her to handle so she turned to the only release of the internal pain the raged her soul. The pain that she carried had somehow made her feel numb, like she had lost the ability to feel anything other than pain and at times, the pain didn?t feel like pain. She had found a sharp, small razor blade in one of the shower stalls and had accidentally cut herself on the arm a year ago. She remembered ever so clearly watching tiny beads of red blood form and drip down her skin. The pain, she remember, was
     
  3. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004

    It is nice to read a story where Yoda actually takes the time to help
    an initiate.:cool:
    I wonder where he is taking her.[face_thinking]

    :cool:

     
  4. Alasse_Earfalas

    Alasse_Earfalas Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2008
    Aw, poor Sarafire!! :( I wonder what Yoda will do to help her?

    Wonderful story! PM me when you update!! =D=
     
  5. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Nice story and with Yoda helping will be a great one to follow (PM please)
     
  6. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    Thank you all very much for reading the story. I will start a pm list. Just let me know if you want to be added. Here is an update.

    Sarafire did not know the Jedi that slowly walked in front of her very well. It was mostly because Master Yoda did not know her well either. He was supposed to know every Jedi who roamed the halls of the Jedi Temple, yet she had managed to fall between the cracks of the numerous beings who lived, eat, slept, and studied together. Of course he made rounds through all the classes of the younglies, but her classes rarely found him. In truth, there were classes he visited more often, usually the best of the students. She was not envious of this fact, but merely understood there were too many of the Jedi for him to know and she had gone unnoticed until now.

    For the few times he did teach one of her Force or lightsaber classes, he seemed to not notice her. She was never called on by him and only talked to if she made a mistake. She was not the best or the worse in any of her classes, but when it came to the Force, she came in the last five. Even in telekinesis training, she had little control and a lot of power that earned her many saying about focusing her mind and calming her inner soul. She never really understood what he meant by it. She was able to get away with her confusion with careful acting of her mind and body. Until now, she was convinced she had fooled him along with the others that all was right with her.

    Sarafire wasn?t sure where she was going. Master Yoda was leading her down a hall she didn?t recognize until they stopped at one door. It was then a flash of memory rushed before her eyes.

    She must have been five years old when she last stood at this door. She was very small, skinny, and had shining blond hair. She was with several other children her age, who she dared to call friends. It was play hour and the children had decided to go on an adventure. She hadn?t been sure about leaving the playroom, but the teacher wasn?t there and the door was unlocked. The five children, counting her, had decided to explore more of the temple in a hall that they knew nothing about. It was said that Master Yoda lived at the end of the hall and many stories were spun about what his room looked like and what happened if one went into the room. Sarafire had been scared by the stories of monsters and objects so powerful in the Force that they could destroy you. She had argued against going, but she wasn?t able to convince the others. So off the five children went.

    The walk to the mysterious hall seemed to be a long one to the five year old Sarafire with her short legs. There were many stop along the way as the children were questioned by many knights and masters as to what they were doing. The children cheerfully answered that they were on an adventure to an unknown hall. Many of the Jedi smiled in a kind way to the small children and let them continued. Sarafire wondered why the Jedi didn?t send them back to the safe playroom instead of letting them risk their lives.

    Half an hour later the children reached to the final hall and looked down past the many stones. There was a simple metal door at the end with no title or carvings to indict who lived there. There was also no one in the hall. The children stood at the end of the hall, listening carefully for any monsters. For a moment there was nothing to hear until a clear, loud yell, followed by words the children did not recognize came from beyond the door. Poor Sarafire was scared by the sound and nearly fled back to the playroom. The other children were equally as scared, but they were trying very hard not to show it. With whispers, the children slowly crept up to the door, prepared to run of the monster were to suddenly jump out from behind the door. They had reached the door and were whispering about if they should open the door. After much arguing, which Sarafire lost again, it was decided that one brave boy press the button to open the door and reveal the monster. The young child was trembli
     
  7. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    loved that update with the memories of her and I am sure Yoda will help her
     
  8. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    Oh my she has a serious problem:eek:
    Lets hope Yoda can help her get some confidence back[face_dancing]

    interesting.[:D]
     
  9. Alasse_Earfalas

    Alasse_Earfalas Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2008
    Aaaaaaawwwwwww!!!!!! So lovely!!! [face_love] [:D] *happy tear*
     
  10. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    Again, thanks to all my three dedicated readers! Here's some more for ya:

    Sarafire spent the rest of the day in a great emotional turmoil. She was horribly mortified that the Grand Master of the Jedi Order had discovered her shameful secret. She humbly apologized to an angry math teacher, wilting under the teacher?s glare, wishing she could explain herself, but somehow she did not think the teacher would buy her excuse of being dragged away by the might and awe inspiring Master Yoda. Few students were ever invited in by the master himself and she did not think she was the type of person who deserved such a privilege.

    She was still very much convinced the master was working on getting her a ship that would flee her sorry soul out into the huge galaxy, far away from the noble minds of the Jedi. Sarafire blamed herself for this, knowing all too well she brought it upon herself. Once again her downfall was her clumsiness. If she had just been more careful of her sleeves, she would not be in this nerve wreaking position.

    It was strange to say that she was sorry to go when she knew this would be for the best. Despite all the nightmares, hours upon hours of crying, pain and suffering she endured for so many years, she was attached to the people and the building she called home. It was hard to imagine herself elsewhere, not studying to become a Jedi. She tried so hard to imagine just for a second herself as an actually Jedi Knight, but that picture was even more ellusive.

    ?Sarafire! Pay attention and answer my question!?

    Startled, she awoke from her daydreams and looked around the last class of the day, trying to understand what had happened. There was no concentration to be found when one knew one was about to be expelled. Luckily for her, she read ahead in the class and through Jedi listening exercises, she was able to recall the question about some distant planet and gave the correct question. The teacher squinted his eyes at her in deep suspicion and then made a journey to spy on what Sarafire was doing. Sarafire looked down and saw that she had been absent minded doodling on the notes that had been passed around.

    ?And I suppose you got the answer from your silly drawings??

    Sarafire blushed deeply, all too aware of the snickers the other kids made. The teacher gave her one last look of reproach and went back to the lesson. Sarafire tried to refrain from daydreaming about her future again, but the task was a hard one.

    Finally the ever long day ended and she was able to rush to her room, the only safe place she knew no one would tease, glare, or yell at her for another error. She dumped her bag on the floor, not caring in the slightest the mess she made. Her room was a nightmare with clothes, some clean, flung all over. Her bed was unmade, and stacks of papers were everywhere. She saw no use in cleaning. No one ever went into her room so no one cared about her lifestyle.

    She turned off the lights and grabbed the razor she kept hidden in a tiny lock box from underneath her bed. She found a strange peace in staring at the shiny, sharp blade. Here in her hands was the key to her sanity and holder of her pain. The day had been too much for her with the tears, fear, and anger at herself. She had been dying to get to her room, but the classes would not end. She was tempted to skip a class to cut, but she knew it would arouse unwanted attention.

    She felt the bitter sweet pain slice through her arm, travelling up her brain and flowing back down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she felt her emotions fade away. The pain in her arm made the pain in her soul go numb for a time, bringing her a kind of peace and relief. Her mind went blank as she focused on the physical pain, wishing she could stay this way forever. Minutes later, her nerves calmed down and the pain stopped. A frown of disappointment formed on her lips. The trouble with cutting was one cut never seemed to be enough, but she was scared to do it a second time in one session.

    She looked down at her scarred arm that was now had a
     
  11. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
     
  12. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
  13. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Great update. Love your character and her uncertainties.
     
  14. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004

    Sarafire is in need of help, and she is so alone.:_|

    Master Yoda has the right idea yet he should not leave her alone [face_shame_on_you]

    hopefully he is using the force to keep an eye on her.[face_hypnotized]

    You must give her a bit of happiness soon she deserves some.:D


    [:D]
     
  15. Alasse_Earfalas

    Alasse_Earfalas Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2008
    Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this story!!!!!!!!!

    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] *happy tear*
     
  16. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    Thank you all! I love this story too! Here's another chapter for ya

    She stood in front of the Jedi Council, shaking worse than ever before. Her left arm had no white bandage, but was naked and bleeding. She gripped the cuts tightly, but it made no difference. There was no way to hide the blood from the all knowing eyes.

    She was here to hear her fate. Her sentence would be delivered here. It was her ultimate doom. She could not go out peacefully, like a Jedi would. She was no Jedi. She stood there, her arm throbbing, and tears raining down her cheeks. She felt like she had committed a horrible crime and now she stood at the mercy of a judge, who knew no such mercy.

    ?Sarafire Sunn??

    Her voice trembled as she shakily confirmed the question asked by a tall, stern Jedi Master.

    ?Sarafire, you have been charged with failure of the Jedi Training and brought shame to the Order. It is the decision of the council that you be cast out forever.?

    The tears kept trailing down her flushed checks against her pale forehead. She felt lightheaded with shook and terror. She had failed and now she was gone. She was dead. She barely managed to inquire what would happen to her.

    ?Happen? Why haven?t you guessed? We do not let such pitiful failures of the Jedi wonder around the galaxy. No, that is not a punishment, but a reward. You will meet your doom here. Kneel and bow your worthless head.?

    She held on to her arm even tighter than before, ignore the burning pain. She couldn?t do this. She couldn?t die like this.

    ?I said kneel!?

    She nearly obeyed the order out of fear from the anger in his voice. She hated to be yelled at. She hated the anger the Jedi threw at her. She hated anger itself.

    ?If you will not kneel, then I will make you!?

    A fast, hard kick pounded into her back, causing her to fall on her knees and hands. Her pale hair draped over her head and shoulder, blocking out her vision. She found she couldn?t breathe or move.

    ?Prepare to die.?

    The blue lightsaber was activated and held over her head. She could see the shining light through the strands of her sweaty hair. The lightsaber was swung upward and then the blow came down on her. She felt the priecing blade start to burn the skin on her neck.


    ?Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!?

    Sarafire woke up to her screaming voice, crying out into the darkness of the room. Her breath was loud and came out in huge gasps. It took her several minutes to slow down her breathing and regain her mind.

    It was just a dream. I?m not going away yet and they wouldn?t kill me anyhow. It was just a bad dream.

    It made have been a dream, but the after effects of the dream were much worse. She was covered in a fine, smelling sweat that made her feel hot and gross. A fire of icy fear burned in her heart, slowly spreading to the rest of her soul. The darkness of the room was too dark and too frightening. She stumbled out of bed and turned the light on.

    She looked around the room, but there were no monster or murders. She sighed in semi-relief. Her hand began to scratch her left arm, but to her surprise her fingers grazed against something rough and unfamiliar. It was then she remembered the bandage and the scene before she went to bed. She had retired early, not carrying if she missed the evening meal. She just wanted to forget the sin she had committed.

    Sarafire knew she was wrong to yell at the Jedi Master, who possibly really did want to help her. Yet, she had her doubts about his ability to help. He could not possibly comprehend the situation she was in. She took her hand away from her arm and wiped the sweat off of her pale face.

    She curled up into a small, skinny ball, wrapping her comforting, soft blanket around her body. She found her only possession, a stuffed animal, and hugged it tightly. It was strange, but she found tremendous comfort and safety in the toy. As a child she slept with it every night, whispering her greatest fears and joys. The toy did not judge her or talk
     
  17. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Great story and update.=D= And let Yoda help her
     
  18. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Most artists did holo pictures or other mediums of art. Here was a real, oil based painting with the finest detailed scene of a child crying to its mother.

    Sarafire found the art intriguing. There was something about the young child in the way it?s failing arms reached for its distant, distracted mother attracted her. The child was not hurt or looked sick, but clearly it wanted attention. The mother was well dressed and busy with some activity Sarafire couldn?t fathom. She wondered why the mother was ignoring the begging child and why mothers would ignore their children.

    Maybe the child is like me and is not wanted. Maybe the mother can not hear the wails of this poor kid.

    ?Like the child you are.?


    I love art and I love painting, sometimes a picture can tell a story, just like the one Sarafire is looking at.[face_thinking]

    Great update.[:D]
     
  19. Alasse_Earfalas

    Alasse_Earfalas Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2008
    This was cool. I really liked the painting. :)

    Perhaps you culd pull some of Yoda's past into the story in order to help Sarafire? Also, why couldn't he sleep?

    I also like that she has a stuffed animal. It makes me feel better.

    :oops: I mean... um... [face_whistling] *didn't say ANYTHING...*
     
  20. Sabriel_Orion

    Sabriel_Orion Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 29, 2008
    Poor Sarafire. I feel so bad for her... :/ Please, let Yoda help her.

    And please, if you have a pm list, add me to it. :D
     
  21. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    lol you all are rather pushy for readers! Well I love you all anyhow and will give you another chapter.

    For the first time in a year, Sarafire was happy. She had woken up refreshed, rested, alert, and full of an emotion she couldn?t really understand: joy. She didn?t even need her morning shower to shake away the last bits of sleep from her mind and body, but the shower made her better. She ate more than usual, which was still practically nothing, but the food tasted better and her stomach was more receiving to the meal.

    Her day had a shine, a tint of hope that kept on. She found her classes interesting and her work worth the time to do. And she found herself doing something she had never done: volunteering to answer a question. She raised her hand a little beyond her head, trying hard to keep her rosy cheeks from showing. The teacher had been looking around for the usual people to call on and suddenly spotted Sarafire. The math teacher did a double take.

    ?Miss Sunn? Is something wrong??

    ?No, I just know the answer.?

    The teacher did a third look of total, unexpected and unbelievable surprise.

    ?You do? Then tell us Miss Sunn.?

    Sarafire smiled a tiny bit to herself, feeling her ego grow with joyous pride.

    ?It?s 42.?

    The teacher looked at the problem on the book and then at the data pad with the answers on it. Her eyebrows went up in shock.

    ?Well Miss Sunn, that is correct. Well done.?

    The whole class turned around to look at a blushing Sarafire who suddenly wished she could disappear.

    The rest of the day went much like her math class. Furthermore the day passed quickly which she was quite thankful for. She could hardly believe how good a day it was and wanted the day to hurry up before her luck and good mood ran out. She couldn?t dare to hope that luck would continue for much longer and she dreaded the moment it ended.

    Even dinner matched her day. The cafeteria was serving her favorite evening meal. She did not feel quite brave enough to sit with some kids she knew, but the glow inside of her kept her company.

    She retired to her room after dinner. She turned on the light and picked her way through the mess of her room to her bed, where she sat, holding her stuffed animal. She told the animal about her good day how strange she felt. She held the animal for a long time, wishing the toy could hug her back and complete the feeling inside of her. Then there was a knock on her door. She opened the door, half suspecting who she might find. Her guess was right.

    ?Um, hello Master Yoda.?

    The green, little Jedi had a small container in his hands. She saw that he wanted to come in and moved aside. He walked through her junk and to the bed, where he put down the container and signalled for her to join him. Sarafire walked over and sat down beside to container, wondering what it was for.

    ?Give me your arm. Let me check on it to see if you are healing.?

    She hesitantly reached her bandaged arm. She tried to tell herself that it was ok. She had not cut today and there was nothing new to hide, but she felt extremely uncomfortable letting him see the wounds again. He started to touch her wrist, but she jerked away out of a reaction she could not control. For a moment there was an awkward silence. She felt horrible. The fear, the pain, and the shame all rushed in, chasing away the wonderful mood she had been experiencing.

    ?Nothing to be afraid there is. I will not hurt you, I promise.?

    She swallowed and took a breath. She shakily gave her arm to him. He gently held her wrist and started to unwind the bandage. Scared to see her sin, she turned her head away as the thin scars were revealed. When he was done, she peaked past her shoulder to look. There were many scars on her arm and some of the newest wounds had not completely healed. The one she had done the day before was angry and red with infection. He gently passed one claw over the cut and she hissed in pain, unconsciously jerking back.

    ?Healing hurts, does it not??

    ?That?s not healing master, it?s infected and ouch!
     
  22. Sabriel_Orion

    Sabriel_Orion Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 29, 2008
    YES! I was looking forward to seeing more from this, and it didn't disappoint. :D

    Poor Sarafire is so confused, isn't she? I would be too, if I had gone through what she is. Keep up the good work, and I can't wait til the next part. (I read way to fast for my own good, I'm afraid, so this didn't take long to read. :/ )

    *hugs*
     
  23. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    yes, another nice update to your story.

    Nice to see young Sarafire with Yoda
     
  24. Alasse_Earfalas

    Alasse_Earfalas Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 6, 2008
    [face_love] :D [face_love] :D [face_love] :D [face_love] :D [face_love] :D

    Loved it!! Keep writing!! :)
     
  25. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    ?Healing hurts, does it not??

    ?That?s not healing master, it?s infected and ouch!?

    He had touched the wound one more time, inspecting it. He reached over and opened the container with one hand. A small bottle of what she recognized as healing cream floated to his awaiting hand. He took off the cap and applied some clear gel to the wound.

    ?Healing, but having trouble it is. It was not given proper care, so bad it went.?

    He put a small sticky bandage on the gel and wound before wrapping up her entire forearm with a new white, crisp roll.

    ?Infected, painful, sore, and angry you are, like your wound. But gel will not fix you. There are better methods to help you.?

    ?Like what??

    He put back the healing cream and looked at her with a serious face.

    ?Talking.?


    Yoda helps in many ways, very nice.[face_love]
     
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