Before - Legends Heart of Darkness/Short Story/OCs

Title: Heart of Darkness
Length: Short Story
Characters: OCs
Note: A big thank-you to Trimaj for coming up with the title.

Disclaimer: This isn't my universe, I'm just visiting. All references to Star Wars or characters/things/places related to Star Wars are solely the property of George Lucas.

One arm slung over the back of the chair, I work the piece of nerf steak out from between my teeth, ignoring the rowdy bunch around me. I take my time, enjoying the impatience sizzling in the blood of several of my crew. I slowly finish and slip the small dagger back into it?s sheath at my left hip after wiping it off on someone?s trouser leg. The sheath, an intricate nerf hide, holds three identical daggers which, when aimed well -as per usual- cut through most clothing and pierce deep into the skin, leaving death behind. Sadly, with this method, one always has to expend a little energy to retrieve the weapon. But a simple hand gesture wasn?t too much. After all, I am rather fond of my toys.

Looking up from my musings, I find myself interrupted by two of my men who strong-arm a third into my presence. Looking at him lazily, I note his rugged handsomeness, the mud caking his clothing, his several-inches-long hair streaming with rainwater, the blondness nearly all brown from the wet and mud. The two crew members finally come just before me and drop the man to his knees. I watch him for seven long minutes, noting how his chest, shoulders and stomach move with each deep breath. I raise an eyebrow at the mess on the deck and sigh slightly. Then I wait, just curious enough about him to see what he will do. Finally, the man looks up at me with sharp dark blue eyes alive with anger. He hates me. Of course he does. But I revel in it. It almost makes my red lips curve. I glare witheringly at one of the crew who brought in this man and command that he tell me why I have been disturbed. Something in me enjoys the fact that his voice trembles as he tells me that the new prisoner was caught trying to aid another in escaping.

I stand, the simple action making everyone in the room nervous. With precise steps, I walk to within two feet of the prisoner and stop, glaring with fury down at him. With a steely voice I tell the two crewmen to lift the prisoner to his feet and they do so. As he stands there, I take from my belt two sets of long, sharp claws. I wait until I see the fear flickering behind the prisoner?s eyes to put them on, each one fitting perfectly. They were, after all, my own design. As soon as I finish putting them on, I click them together, enjoying the sound they make. Almost celebratory. I then caress the prisoner?s cheek with the back of those on my left hand, smiling coldly as he flinches. He looks away, closing his eyes and bracing himself for the inevitable, making me laugh heartily. At the sound, he looks up, surprise changing his features momentarily. I stop suddenly and swipe one set of claws across his right cheek, making him gasp and wince as they simply draw a little blood. Blood. Such a beautiful shade. The exact same color of lipstick I wear. I slowly draw one of the claws off of my right index finger and run it over the streaks on his face. Bringing it to my mouth, I taste and savor. And sigh. It?s been too long since I?ve enjoyed myself. I replace the claw and hook them underneath the top of his shirt, then rip it all the way down to the hem. Well-formed, just as I expected.*

A body like his would make a good addition to the crew. Oh well.

Without hesitation, I ram the claws of my left hand through his chest and behind his rib cage, through his lungs. Curling them, I can feel his beating heart, now bleeding. Dying. I close my eyes and sigh, delighting in the sensation. His screams fill the air and I scream as well, joining his death cries with my own triumphant ones. As blood builds in his throat and begins to dribble from his lips, he coughs and his eyes roll back in his head. I look down at him, now emotionless as I withdraw my clawed hands, leaving him slumped but still held upright by the two

 

First person, and with no dialogue yet? Interesting choices, but I'm intrigued. I'll be keeping up.

 

Wow! This is looking intense. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

 

Great story Love!! very dark, Bit Sadistic. extreamly entertaining.

 

Really good beginning, and the whole situation is intriguing. I like how you have it from a personal view, nice job.

 

Whoa! Intense!

Without hesitation, I ram the claws of my left hand through his chest and behind his rib cage, through his lungs. Curling them, I can feel his beating heart, now bleeding. Dying. I close my eyes and sigh, delighting in the sensation. His screams fill the air and I scream as well, joining his death cries with my own triumphant ones. As blood builds in his throat and begins to dribble from his lips, he coughs and his eyes roll back in his head. I look down at him, now emotionless as I withdraw my clawed hands, leaving him slumped but still held upright by the two crew members. Sighing with satisfaction I command them to remove this piece of space junk and clean up quickly. I don?t like getting my clothes dirty.

Wow. Could you PM when you update please?

 

I think...

*looks gloomily at the mountain of university books next to her!*

... I want to be on that PM list as well.

*needs a break from duties NOW and THEN!*

Please, can you put me on your PM list?

 

Hey, Typo. I'm glad to intrigue you. Such a rare thing that is. I'm glad you find my choices interesting. Writing first person is my favorite way to write, so if I ever do more, it will probably follow suit.

Kev! So glad you could post. Intensity, in my opinion, usually makes a story more interesting.

Sadistic, Kahn? Just a bit, yes.

Thrawn1786! It's a nice surprise to see you here! I'm glad you like the beginning. I don't know why I stopped where I did, but that's all that came to me at that moment. Probably a good thing.

I will most certainly do so, VaderLVR64. I was told that not many people would be reading my work as I'm a new face around here. Thank-you for doing so.


AzureAngel2! I'm glad to give you something to get you away from your studies once in a while! Hopefully this will prove worth it.




I'm not sure when the next bit will be up, but I am working on it as I type this.

 

well, looks like you're a hit miss swan. told ya!

anyways, you know quite well what i think of this, amazing descriptives. can't wait for more.

oh, and a PM would be most appreciated.

EDIT:

stupid typo.

 

See I told you, we were nice over here and that you'd get readers Interesting beginning!

 

Wow!! This is really good. I'm VERY interested to know more about this character. You've built him/her up for being a bad guy (or at least a very tough and somewhat sadistic one) veyr nicely, with good (but not too much) detail.

If you're creating a PM list, I'd like to be on it

 

Bit of adivce, sis: When Trim says you're good, you're good.

Absolutely amazing. Terribly creepy.

I slowly finish and slip the small dagger back into it?s sheath at my left hip after wiping it off on someone?s trouser leg.

Someone? Whoever this person is, they must be extremely sure of themselves to do something like that?

After all, I am rather fond of my toys.

Ah, aren?t we all? In this case, though, that might not be the best thing for the crew?

He hates me. Of course he does. But I revel in it.

Ok? did I say this was creepy?

Blood. Such a beautiful shade. The exact same color of lipstick I wear.

Remind me not to get on your bad side, Swannie?

I slowly draw one of the claws off of my right index finger and run it over the streaks on his face. Bringing it to my mouth, I taste and savor. And sigh. It?s been too long since I?ve enjoyed myself.

Enjoyed herself? ENJOYED HERSELF?!

Curling them, I can feel his beating heart, now bleeding.

One thing to say: Ewwwwwwwwww.

I don?t like getting my clothes dirty.

Somebody hide me!

Very well-written, sis. When can we expect more?

 

Whoa, gruesome! I'm intrigued...is this totally OC's or are there some usual characters? And what time period is it? Sorry, questions, questions!

I was drawn to this because of the title, I just finished reading Heart of Darkness recently, and then the imagery drew me in. The main character reminds me much of a pre-light/Luke Mara...and the man that she killed, at first I thought he might be Obi, with the blond/brown hair and blue eyes, but I'm guessing now he's not... ...poor guy.

when more?

 

Trimaj: Thanks for your help and support Trim. You really should post more of yours and link them in your siggy. I'll be sure to send you a pm, my bro. Although you'll like as not get it before I post.

Layren: Yep, you're right. The people here are definitely nice. And a big THANK-YOU for offering to be me beta! Much appreciated (and accepted)! There is still much to learn.

NYCitygurl: Thank-you! It's good to read all the positive responses from people. Still can't believe I actually posted some of my writing. I suppose due to all the requests I've gotten, this means I will definitely be creating a pm list for updates.

Handmaiden_Rabe: First of all, yes, I know you prefer Allie, but wanted to make sure people knew I didn't skip over my little sister! It's funny how differently the words 'amazing' and 'creepy' make me feel. The one happy and the other mischievous. Don't worry, there will be more of both in this story. And yeah *Laughs* Not the best thing for the crew. Somewhat... dispensable... You could never get on my bad side. I'm glad you like the lipstick line. WHEN?! Uhm... next time? Sorry, but I've got to keep you all in suspense for now. I've no idea when the next bit will be ready. I can only hope that everyone enjoys it as much as the first.

Luminara_Kenobi: Yep, totally OC's, that way I can mold them in whichever way I prefer. Time period? I thought 'Before the Saga' answered that! Oi! Yeah, after I wrote this and posted it, someone pointed out that this particular title had already been used. They suggested I change it but I decided against doing so. I'm very attached to my name, so naturally, my story is attached to its name too. More will come later. I'm not sure when exactly, but there WILL be more.

 

I meant time period as in Kotor or closer to TPM, and I don't think the name needs to be changed.

 

post more of them you say? i have nothing more to post at the moment. i'm also not much for links in sigs, takes up too much room.

*hugs back* i realized that sometime after i posted that miss swan. *shrugs* ah well, still wanna know when it's posted and all that though.

 

Very intriguing. You have my attention with such a great beginning. I look forward to reading more, please put me on your PM list.

 

Luminara_Kenobi: Now that kind of time period I'll have to think on. To be honest, I'm not sure if that will even play a part in my story (as in, I don't think you'll be able to tell). And thanks for letting me know you don't think the name needs changing.

Trimaj: Bro, you and I should work on making our rpg characters into a story. That'd be cool. Or I might just do it myself if you don't want to. I enjoy them very very much!

renjishi: Thank-you for reading my story and for the support of your post! I look forward to seeing if people enjoyed it or not. And I'll be sure to send you a pm when the next part is up.

 

Wow, that's just evil...evil! I don't read alot of fan fiction, but I really enjoyed this one. PM me or post in the Geriatric Ward when you have more done!

 

Crash_Davis: Thank-you! I am very glad you enjoyed it! I will definitely put you on the pm list. Make sure to tell Burt not to drive after eating green jell-o!

 

Swanee! So cruel. Bring it girl!

 

Jada: Thank-you! I hope that the next post is worth the reading as well.

 

A lovely and dark story.

 

Darth_Gangrenous: Thank-you bro! I'm so very happy you like what you have read.

 

wow swan that was intence im gona add this to my faves and come back to it lots please do the world a favour and dont stop writing