Beyond Heaven Falls: A Jedi On Earth Fanfic Award Nom Complete!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Darth_Marrs, Jan 12, 2007.

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  1. dajohu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2006
    star 1
    I'm loving how all the characters are coming together. :) I'm still amazed at how you can bring such totally unrelated series and make them gel together. I can't wait for the next update. And yes I was first to post on both your stories last time... and I think this time too lol.

    -dajohu
  2. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Wonderful set up! I too love seeing all these different characters coming together, and you have done a masterful job with the military gathering for their briefings. It is quite easy to follow and the transitions are smooth. The way you are presenting this it just makes everyone together seem... right! Bravo =D=

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  3. LordInferno Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 1
    One question. When does Kyle get to Earth? Great chapter. I like seeing everything come together. Keep up the good work!

    I have a feeling my question will be answered in the next chapter or so.
  4. Talon_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2003
    star 4
    Great chapter and thanks for telling us the characters in it, it helps a lot since I have only seen a few Roswell episodes
  5. cibbler Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 30, 2006
    star 1
    Good chapter, I defenitely continue to enjoy this story. For me the big cast is a bonus and its amazing how you can weave so many different series into one story.

    You've also revived my interest in Roswell to a point where I'm wanting to get the Roswell DVD's.

    Forget about the name, Cibbler, Cobbler. I'll know its me, lol, I'm saying this in self intrest since I'm fairly sure I'll forget the double r in Marrs at one time or other..not to mention that these days half the time I write good luke in stead of good luck;)

  6. Diamond_Revelation Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2003
    star 3
    This is a really good crossover, you have made it seem completely normal for all of these characters to be in the same story. I am glad that Max and Isabelle are able to communicate with Siana it will be interesting to see what she can teach them about the ways of the force!

    Great chapter, looking forward to the next
  7. Darth_Shada Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2007
    Hi,

    Am from Spacebattles.com where your storyline was introduced. Have read the first storyline of yours Gods of Dark and Light. This story you have here, am very confused by this.

    Was kinda hoping to see a sequel to where the Imperial/Alliance galaxy enters the milky way and maybe pegasus and start kicking Ori asses.

    This story you have here no offense IS VERY CONFUSING.

    You have crossover elements from

    Stargate: SG-1
    Starwars
    Star Trek: the Original Series
    Star Trek: The Next Generation
    Star Trek: Voyager
    X-Files
    Roswell

    The above is way too many crossover elements, your first storyline Gods of Dark and Light SG-1/Starwars was a good crossover storyline, but this storyline IMHO is awful. Too many confusing elements. Stand-alone yes. Sequel NO.

    Not sure if you take any advice.

    There is a fellow over on Spacebattles.com called Skeet. Now he is a very good crossover fanfic writer. You should talk to him or at least read his stories and get an idea of what good crossover stories are like. Linking to other authors' stories or sites is not allowed in story threads.

    Review:
    0: Blacklist the author's website or board author's posts from
    1: Blacklist
    2: Do not Read
    3: Read at your own risk
    4: Needs improvement
    5: Good Storyline

    A: Too many confusing crossover elements

    B: Not a true sequel to Gods of Dark and Light (which btw earned a rating of 5/5)

    C: Too many jumping around and equally confusing mismash and too many elements.

    Good Crossover stories, needs to be interesting, flows good, immersive, believeable.

    Flaming is not allowed. Also, constructive criticism is not to be posted in story threads unless the author has specifically requested that readers do so.






  8. tjmitchem Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2006
    You're kidding, right? Why not let this story develop a bit before passing judgement. Darth_Marrs' writing is every bit as good as Skeet's stuff on SB. That's why I read both :)

    DMac-X
  9. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Darth_Shada,

    Welcome. It is true that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and you certainly have yours. But your post seems inflammatory to me with words such as 'awful', 'moronically stupid', and the suggestion that the author go somewhere else to "get an idea of what good crossover stories are like."

    If you don't like the story that is fine, that is your choice and your privilege. But what about it don't you like? What is confusing to you? [edited]

    You have suggested that Darth_Marrs has too many elements to his story. Yes, he has a lot of different elements from different series... but 3 of the sources are contemporary (SG-1, X-Files, and Roswell). The Voyager element is minor and focused on an event that is of a contemporary time with these other 3 shows. I for one am amazed at the way Darth_Marrs has weaved so many elements together, but have found it very easy to follow as he started each element separately then gradually has brought them together into one.

    I have personally not read Gods of Dark and Light, but Darth_Marrs has stated at the beginning of this fic that although it is meant as a sequel it can also be read as a stand alone.

    And I agree wholeheartedly with tjmitchem... let's give the story time to grow. Just my two credits.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  10. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Great chapter, and glad to see more characters introduced.

    Being someone not familiar at all with Roswell, and very little with Stargate, before reading this, I have to say that I don't think it's confusing at all. You explain the new characters very well, and give plenty of background info.
  11. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4


    Crossovers. Hmmmm. There's a really nice NBSG/Stargate one going on (slowly) on stardestroyer.net. Haven't read Space Battles. Probably won't. But one of the best crossovers I've read was a one posted at Stardestroyer.net that just went on forever, taking a SW/ST crossover down though whole generations. Sisko became a god, of all things, and Janeway an evil Sith Lord, and Palpatine put a grenade in Picard's crotch, and the guy pulled it off farely well. Just loved Seven of Nine and Mara Jade skipping through alternate realities to try and kill Janeway. Gotta love it.

    Those are good crossovers. Heck, there are quite a few good ones right here. There is this incredible superman/star wars crossover written by some supergenius you can see at http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/25633540/p1/?100.

    As for your comments, well, while I am honored that you appear to have signed into the Jedi Council Forums for the sole sake of making this one post; and I appreciate that you liked Gods of Dark and Light I... er [face_monkey] What were we talking about?

    Er, never mind. [face_cow]

    Thanks for reading!

    [Edited 2/5 by yours truly in an effort to rise above my baser instincts of "Hulk mad! Aarrrgh." When faced with situations like this, it takes a lot of self control not to sink down to that base level and have a little fun with a flaming poster. Until I find some self control, however, I'll thank VaderLVR64 and Jedi-2B for being awesome and reminding me.]
  12. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Just a reminder...

    Posts which flame another user will be edited. Constructive criticism is not allowed unless the writer has specially requested it from readers.


    And by the way, I really enjoyed the post! =D=
  13. PunkMaister Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 12, 2006
    star 1
    Wow I can't believe no more comments have been posted. Anyway as the previous and only poster after the last upsate said terrific job in bringing so many different groups together and most certainly looking forward to the next chapter..

    EDIT! Ooops my Bad I guess more comments were posted after all and sadly including some inflamatory ones from one that says is a member of Spacebattles which is were I was also introduced to your first story...

  14. TigerofRobare Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2006
    star 3
    Colonel Green? He must be verry long lived (alien tech?) to lead a war in the 2050's, or so. Great post though. I take it no Smallville, not that it would be out of place.

    Keep it coming. Keep up the excellent work!

    Thanks for the PM.
  15. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4
    dajohu?I?m loving your ability to always post first. Now THAT is amazing! =D= Thank you for reading, I?m glad your enjoying!

    Wyojedi?Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

    LordInferno?Ordinarily I don?t like to post spoilers or give definite answers, but ya?ll deserve this much. Kyle finally makes it to Earth in Chapter 13. The first person he meets on Earth is Teal?c. In case you forget the chapter number, the chapter title is ?A Jedi in Colorado?. I?m not much for subtlety, I guess. The truth is, there is so much going on that for me to hit my major characters, things get spread a bit.

    Plus Kyle needs to get close an personal with the Gao?uld as seen below.

    Talon-Kenobi?Yeah, I realized I was being a bit bullheaded leaving the D P off. I was just throwing too much at people.

    cibbler?Luke, Luck, it?s all good! Thanks, I love the big cast too. And I have to admit I?ve had a hard time not concentrating on the Roswell kids, just because I loved their characters so much. But this is still Force.net, and so SW HAS to play a major role, and I promise it will. There will be a Jedi/Sith duel in Part One of this story. And then things get interesting in Part II. At least as much as the end of GOD&L.

    Diamond Revelation?thank you. Communication is an issue for me. I hate it that SG-1 just dismissed the inherent difficulties of language that made the movie so fascinating. I understand why?the chapter with Siana learning English is actually one of the slower ones, to be honest, but it seems silly to have people from different planets, even humans, speaking the same language. But telepathy is another story. With their inherent powers and Siana?s own Force abilities, the Roswell kids can communicate as if born to the same language. Except for Michael. He's a bit slow with the powers.

    Darth Shada?I?ve already responded, but I did learn something about where your post is coming from, and I thank PunkMaister for telling me. I didn?t realize that my posting was being reported at SpaceBattles. A reader posted there to say the sequel to Gods of Dark and Light was up, and so you came expecting a straight SW/SG battle. If those were your expectations, I certainly understand your disappointment. At the end of GOD&L when I was talking about this story, I backed off calling it a direct sequel, because the further I got into it the more I realized it was a stand alone story.

    That said, I can tell you that Part 3, and Part 4 if it goes that long, will deal extensively, and in the end, exclusively, with a new Ori threat and Earth?s fight against that threat. So in that regard, it is a sequel. I just have a lot of fun with lots of other universes getting there, because the Earth that meets the Ori will be nothing like the Earth you and I know today.

    So, all in all, I am truly humbled that enough people enjoyed my writing to post updates about them in other sites. That is, in my mind at least, a great compliment. If that also means that past expectations are not met with this one, I can accept that. I wrote this and all fanfiction for me. This isn?t one of my novels that I have no hope of publishing but keep trying anyway because I?m a pessimistically optimistic idiot. There is no hope of fame or fortune. I?m writing this stuff because I just flat out love it. And I share it in the hopes others might as well.

    And for those who do like it, and then tell me so, I can?t thank you enough; because that makes me want to just keep churning the words out.

    Wow. I?m tired now.

    Tjmitchem?thanks for the defense. I?ve not read Skeet, though I find it funny that the story I originally referred to in my first response to Shada as being on Stardestroyer.net is actually posted on Spacebattles too! It?s called Derelict, and is a crossover between nBSG and Stargate. It?s stalled a little in posting, but what is out there is very enjoyable.

    WyoJedi?Thank you as well. I appreciate the support. I think Shada
  16. dajohu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2006
    star 1
    YAY, first post again! lol Anyway, I loved this update! Kyle whipping Goa'uld butt was great and I liked how he gave a better solution than Sam did. I never liked the thought of having to destroy your own ship to kill the enemy. Anyway, looking forward to the next one. :)

    -dajohu
  17. JediKage Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2006
    excellent update! hehehe i bet that the SGC will be shocked when Kyle comes knocking through the gate :D and they are gonna be shocked at what a Jedi can do [face_mischief]
  18. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Poor Kyle has to jump thru several hoops to get to Earth, doesn't he?

    You know, it didn't occur to me while betaing to question Sam's title as Doctor. But watching SG reruns lately, she's always called Major. So she is a doctor, too? As in PhD-type doctor?
  19. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4
    Yep. In episode one, she refers to herself as a theoretical astrophysicist. She's writing a book on wormholes and has published (a prerequisite of any Ph.D.) But because she's military she prefers to be referred to by rank. The only exception is when she is among scientific peers, where it is appopriate to use her academic title.
  20. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    Amazing update! Loved seeing Kyle kicking Goa'uld tail, and how calm he was in the face of Osiris' threats. Should be interesting to see them meet again.

    Darth Nihl... what a scene! You have his menacing, evil streak down to a science. And I loved the last line there. He takes such guilty pleasure in causing pain and destruction. Will be exciting watching him wreak havoc for our heroes.

    Great job!

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  21. LordInferno Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 1
    Nice update. Kyle against the Goa'uld. Darth Nihl on Earth... should prove interesting. As for when Kyle gets to Earth and meets Teal'c... In-deed. Oh, and the translator bean reminded me of the babelfish from Hitchhiker's.

    You may have done this intentionally or not, but the Spanish word for English is "Ingles" with an accent over the "e". However, the way you have it now works, because it would reflect the accent or the way a non-Spanish speaker would say it, especially one that doesn't speak much Spanish.
  22. DMac-X Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Nice Update! Why do I get this feeling that Kyle and Jack O'Neill would get along great? :)
  23. Kidan TFN EU Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2003
    star 5
    great post....


    and of course I have to wonder if Kyle can get the worms out of the head without killing the host.....after all, with the Force, all things are possible...
  24. TigerofRobare Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2006
    star 3
    Great post. A thought: are the stargates related to the Gree hypergates at all? They seem similar.

    I really have to feel sorry for all the Federal agents Darth Nihil is going to kill.
  25. PunkMaister Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 12, 2006
    star 1
    Wow what an awesome update that was!=D= It's really scary that the Goa'uld posses technology that can interdict SGverse hyperspace nothing short of the gravitational pull of a black hole and then some has been known to affect it!:eek: Did Anubis came accross some Vong ships by any chance and reverse engineered the tech from there?[face_thinking]


    No the hypergates though similar work fundamentally different as they do not create artificial wormholes to travel from point A to Point B but SWverse hyperspace instead and one is always at risk of being lost in hyperspace while in transit using the hypergates as well...

    But who knows given enough time such as the ones the Alteerans had the Gree could have come up with a true Stargate system of their own...:D

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