Beyond Heaven Falls: A Jedi On Earth Fanfic Award Nom Complete!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Darth_Marrs, Jan 12, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Glad you clued us in on how Max was injured. Loved the poignant scene between Jack and Sam, especially that last line.

    Very moving funeral scene for Isabel (though you didn't put the chapter/verse that the minister's words were quoted from).

    And yes, there's still hope for Daniel & Vala. ;)

    Sorry you missed out on the Crossover Award here, but a belated Congrats on winning it on the Saga boards.
  2. PunkMaister Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 12, 2006
    star 1
    Wow that was really poignant and to the point from start to finish awesome!=D=

    Now that the story is basically concluded and only the epilogue remains dare I ask will there ever be a follow up to this story at some point? Perhaps taking a 100 years or so after this event or more when the Multi-Galactic Alliance perhaps by a new order of Sith that are on the verge of learning the secrets of ascension and become the New Ori! [face_devil] If you ever do I would recomend Kheb as the site for the new Jedi academy in the Milky Way galaxy as it offers the same kind of Misticism that Yavin 4 offers back on the Corusca galaxy!;)
  3. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4
    Leilanijoy?Thank you, I?m glad it worked. It admit to putting some effort into trying to merge the Jedi and protestant ceremony.

    Dajohu?Thank you, I?m glad you?ve enjoyed it, and I hope you continue to enjoy Children of the Red Sun as well.

    LOBO?Thank you. And Daniel?least he?s consistent.

    VaderLVR64?Thank you. I appreciate you reading.

    TigerofRobare?Thanks!

    Jedi-2B?No problems. And for the record, folks, I cannot say enough about what a great job Jedi-2B has done as my Beta reader. Her suggestions have been spot-on almost without exception, and she has more than once kept me on task. It would not have been the same story without her.

    Thanks!!!![:D]

    PunkMaister?Hmmm, not a bad suggestion at all. Although I don?t specifically named Kheb as a Jedi world, there?s plenty of space that would allow it to be. Thanks!

  4. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4


    Epilogue: The Seeds of Forever


    Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
    Wednesday, August 5th, 7 CE


    McKay stepped through the shimmering gate a step behind Tess. The rest of the Commonwealth team followed. ?Chara, Zalenka, let?s go see what we have,? Rodney said.

    Almost immediately the lights in the city activated on their own accord as sensors detected life again in the long-abandoned city.

    Tess merely wandered aimlessly through the floor until she arrived at a spot that spoke to her of much activity in the past. ?Rodney,? she called. ?Here.?

    Rodney came without hesitation, and instantly started scrolling through information in the suddenly active screens. He and most of the research team were fluent in the Alteran language now, thanks to intensive study with Daniel Jackson, and he quickly saw what needed be done. ?The city?s reactivating across the board, but it?s about out of power. Zalenka, if I?m reading this right, and I?m pretty sure I am, the ZPM chamber is here,? he said, pointing to a map. ?Looks like two ZPMs are out and the third is failing. You have the new ones??

    ?Here!? the Chiss scientist called Chara said.

    ?Let?s load them up then and get this place moving,? Rodney said.

    Tess leaned over and kissed his ear. ?I love it when you play bossy,? she said.


    * * *

    Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy
    Saturday, November 20th, 9 CE

    ?Wraith fleet, this is Admiral Paul Emerson of the United Commonwealth Alliance ship Dakara. You are approaching a world under Commonwealth protection. Depart immediately or you will be fired upon.?

    The five Wraith hive ships and their escorts made no response, nor did Emerson expect them to. However, forms had to be followed. In the two years since the Commonwealth established its presence in the Pegasus galaxy, human worlds suffering for ages under Wraith culling had flocked to the Commonwealth banner for protection.

    In exchange for raw materials, food stuffs and personnel to train, the Commonwealth was glad enough to provide that protection to all. Except the Genii, of course, who proved they were as trustworthy as the Wraith. With all other worlds falling under Commonwealth protection, the Wraith fell hungrily into the Genii.

    ?This is Emerson to attack group,? the Admiral said. ?Europa and Io take point. Deploy primary weapons only after the Wraith have commenced firing. As far as we know these are their last hive ships. We?re not going to commit genocide against a race unless they leave us no choice.?

    The Wraith, starved of human prey after wiping out the Genii, themselves had no choice. They fired everything they had and swarmed their massive hive ships and smaller attack ships against the Commonwealth attack group of five Heavy Command Carriers.

    The carriers launched their fighters, and then fired their primary weapons.

    The Wraith shields were equal in strength to original generation ha?tak vessels. They could no more repel the fire of twin superlasers than they could a supernova. The five large hive ships expanded into clouds of vapor. Moments later the attack cruisers followed, while fleets of F-505 Eagles made quick work of the Wraith darts.

    ?We just exterminated a species,? Emerson said aloud after the last dart exploded. Then he groaned. ?I?m going to have to write one helluva report.?

    * * *

    Asuras Orbit, Pegasus Galaxy
    Wednesday, May 4th, 10 CE

    Siana Delun studied the creature named Oberoth before her carefully. Because of his synthetic nature, he had no presence in the Force. Instead she found herself studying his all-too-human body language.

    ?And you say to the Commonwealth that there can be no co-existence between humans and Replicators?? she asked.

    Oberoth raised his chin. ?None,? he said with finality. ?Your ancestors tried to obliterate us, but we rose from the ashes. Never again will we allow that threat to exist.?

    They sat alone aboard the newly commissioned Commonwealth cruiser Lantea, one of the new Pegasus-class
  5. Ultima_1 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2001
    star 5
    Wow, this was a very impressive ending. I love how you showed that the stability created by the Commonwealth would endure for so long.

    I'm guessing that the timeline change resulted in Kirk's middle name changing? I suppose after everything that happened, Kyle would become a pretty popular name.
  6. Talon_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2003
    star 4
    Congrats a brillant story. It was a great read. It would be great if you let me know when Last of the Jedi starts.

    Thanks!
  7. dajohu Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2006
    star 1
    An awesome conclusion to an awesome story... sometimes I wonder how you do it. :D I am eagerly awaiting this next story you mentioned, good luck and keep up the good work. :)

    -dajohu
  8. leilanijoy Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2008
    What a great ending to this story! I loved how you showed the different generations overcoming the threats that came their way.
  9. L0B0 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2008
    star 2
    I can hardly find the words to summarize my thoughts on this extraordinary story. It is among the most original --- and in terms of subject matter, certainly the most thorough sci-fi fanfic that I have ever read.

    This isn't merely epic - it's practically universal.


    When I first posted a reply to this thread, I remember thinking that this was going to be something special, and that is exactly what it has turned out to be. The entire story was very gratifying from start to finish, and although it is a shame that we have finally reached the conclusion I am very pleased by the ending and I am glad that I was here to enjoy it.



    I think that you should be very proud of yourself for creating this, Marrs.
    This is exactly why I spend time on this board - for a few minutes at a time, I can slip out of reality and experience something which is more hopeful than that which I would know otherwise.

    Thank you for taking the time to share this story with us. I had a lot of fun reading it.




    Bravo =D==D==D==D==D=

  10. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Wraith? Check. Replicators? Check. Borg? Check. Yep, all is taken care of, so the old-timers can finally have their rest.

    I remember questioning Kirk's middle name, and the idea that he changed it because of Kyle Katarn never occurred to me until Ultima mentioned it above. LOL!

    It's been a pleasure betaing for you, D_M. I'm still bowled over by what an intricate masterpiece you've woven here. Be sure to let me know when you start posting your new story (tho I know I'm already a couple stories behind on reading.) See ya later!
  11. TigerofRobare Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2006
    star 3
    I'd give a hemisphere of my brain to write like you.

    A Jedi Master/Antaran living for over 1000 years? I'd bet that even force-sensatives who haven't been trained at all could sense them from light years away.

    That was an awesome novel.
  12. PunkMaister Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 12, 2006
    star 1
    I know this story is concluded but if anyone can come up with a rendering of how a 23rd century commonwealth dreadnought look like plz post it! I will patiently await 'till Marrs comes up with a sequel to this awesome story at some point...
  13. Jedi_Aurelan_Carter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2007
    star 1
    Marrs...If I had a hat, I'd take it off to you...That was an awesome conclusion, and I find myself wanting more even though the story is complete...=D= =D= =D=

    I loved the tidy way you took care of the various bad guys in the universe...especially the Borg :D
    Please let me know when you are posting on the story you mentioned...

    Once again...=D=
  14. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    The prime minister of the Commonwealth, flanked by the grandmaster of the Jedi order and dozens of Jedi and dignitaries, burst around the corner just in time to see five Jedi robes fall lightly to the floor of the park in front of the statues built to honor them.

    Sianee Ostelun walked forward, her eyes moist, as she knelt between the robes. She knew why they did what they did, and could not bring herself to be angry over it, but still she felt a deep sadness. She knew the previous day when the five oldest human Jedi stepped into her office and invited her to a day of meditation that something was going to happen, but she had no idea it would be this.

    Her greatest teachers, and the greatest Jedi, had chosen this day to ascend. If she had more knowledge of the pre-Commonwealth Era, however, she might have guessed. For this was January 25, the 1250th year anniversary of Doomsday, which was the first day they had used both their Antaran power and the Force together. It was the first day of their path to becoming Jedi, and today was the first day of their path to something greater.

    ?Goodbye, my friends,? she said as she looked up into the sky.


    The perfect ending to such an amazing story! Please PM me when you start posting your newest story.



    =D=
  15. PunkMaister Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 12, 2006
    star 1
    Well I bid everyone goodbye it's been fun to read both Gods of Dark and Light and it's stand alone "Sequel" Heaven falls up 'till the time another really good X-over pops along of similar caliber as these 2 I will not be returning here. I would love with Marrs permision to convert both GOD&L and HF to PDF format.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.