Wash, DC Help and advice needed from the ladies in the group

Okay, I asked this girl out today but because her english isn't very good and my spanish isn't very good, I don't really know if she turned me down or if I just got confused, but if she turned me down I don't want to ask her again. She'll think that I can't take no for an answer. But if she was sayiong yes but meaning a different restaurant I might miss a really good oppportunity.

If anyone wants the background here it is...In the building I work in, there is this little cafe/store type place and there is an exceptionally attractive hispanic girl that just started working there. She always makes eye contact and smiles at everybody so I tried not to think too much of it when we exchanged looks/smiles however we've been exchanging glances and smiles even when I was on the other side of the store and yesterday when I walked up to the counter she asked me for my name and then told me hers. Now this morning, I strolled in for a second cup of coffee and when I did she propped her arms up on the counter and leaned closer to engage me in conversation...

R:Hey how are you doing this morning?
P:Good (smile gets bigger) how are you.
R:Great. Hey I was wondering if you'd like to join me for dinner this evening?
PNods and smiles)
R:Great what time do you get off? Maybe we can meet somewhere.
P:I'm sorry my english is limited. I can say some things , but (shrugs embarrassed look) I don't know...
Rfrustrated because ten seconds ago I was on top of the world and now I don't know if she even understood what I was asking) Would you like to get together for dinner?
PNow I'm not so sure but I thought she said "where?")
R:I was thinking something local, King Street Blues or Hamburger Hamlet (both of which serve alcohol)
P:No
R:My smile becomes more forced than natural. Oh okay (I start to walk away)
P:How old are you?
R:30..And you?
P:18
R:...Oh (nervous surprised look, I had guessed she was early twenties)

My first assumption was that she looked at me as a dirty old man. What didn't occur to me until I walked away was that she might have been saying no to those restaurants because they serve alcohol
and she didn't know if she could get in.

Advice please...

Roger

 

heh, you don't want my advice...

 

I think if you really like her you should be sure. It would be nice if you could find someone who speakes spanish to help with translation.I would be very clear to tell her you would like to go out on a date and ask if she is interested or not. It may risk rejection but at least you will know. I prefer an honest rejection to an I'm not sure what just happened scenario.
Now you have to understand this advice is comming from someone rejected more then accepted.

 

awww Sha, it is their loss!!! you are a wonderful person! *hug*

but yes I am all too familiar with the R word, which is why I didn't want to give advice.

 

Well, thanks for the advice. I do have a few friends that are fluent in spanish and may have one go down with me as a translator. Of course, if I get turned down in front of a buddy that will be even more embarrassing. I don't get rejected that often but its a real ego killer when I do. And well, some of you may have figured out by now that my ego is pretty big so that's a huge kill. On the other hand, my ego gives me the confidence that a lot of women find attractive so it's a trade off. I suppose if my ego got too thrashed though I could just ask out one of the law firm girls, (they hit on me quite a bit) but I don't really find them attractive.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice!

 

actually, I find egotistical guys to be a big turn off.

 

never fear rejection - yeah it make you feel silly at the time, but if you never ask you never get

Here's a problem though, if her english is not great (and neither is your spanish), then what would you talk about on a date ?

(trust me, I went out on a date with a Brazilian girl once, her english was better than my portugese, but it was painful)

So, my suggestion - go to get coffee on Monday with one of your spanish friends (preferably female), and get her to ask the girl out on a double date (you, hot-girl, your spanish speaking friend, and her partner). Then nothing can go wrong.

just my idea - I am shy too, and often have trouble asking girls out

please pop back and tell us how it goes.

malkie

 

Malkie, you don't strike me as shy...

 

erm, why not ?

oh, by the way, I am allowed to post in this thread, cause its for female responses ?

malkie

 

I don't know, you just seem really nice and outgoing.

And yes, you can post here.

 

Yes malkie it's actually open to everyone but I really wanted to hear from someone that could look at it from Patricia perspective, that's why I asked the ladies. Unfortunately most of my spanish speaking friends are male and all of them are older. The only female friend near that age that speaks good spanish is another girl that I'm kinda dating off and on and well that would just be weird, even for me.

I already considered this problem but I used to date a Guatemalan foriegn exchange student in high school. Her name was Elizabeth but she pronounced my name as "Rah-yer" and I quickly noticed there was no "juh" sounds in the spanish language. This is part of what caught me offgaurd, when I told Patricia my name she repeated "Roger" so I thought her english was probably pretty good.

Hey Liz, some girls do find an ego to be a turn off, but majority rules for now.

Thanks again for all the inputs and I will let you guys know.

 

Erm... 18?

*refrains from cracking jokes*



It's hard to give a perspective on what she might be thinking since it isn't clear what she actually said. Maybe you should just talk to her again and see what happens, but don't necessarily ask her out again. Maybe she'll bring it up, in which case you'll know she's interested. Or maybe when she sees you she'll run in the other direction... Heh. And Malkie does have a point about the language barrier. That can get quite uncomfortable.

 

DS how are things going?

 

Yes 18, go ahead make your jokes, but she's legal and I'm not taking Geritol yet.

When I walked in this morning she flashed a smile my way and when I eventually made my way to the counter she told me she was sleepy, etc., she is still talkative but my problem is that I am not. I'm usually pretty good at having something witty to say but with her...it's just different. The guy that works with me that is fluent in Es Spanol didn't come in today so that has been one set back so far. I'll let you know how it turns out when I figure it out.

 

heh heh. good luck Roger. I don't see anything wrong with dating someone younger. I'm all for it. As long as he's over 21.

 

Sorry, it's just that my little sister is a couple of months from being 18 so it's a little freaky!

 

yeah, so is my little sister! if she brought home a 30-year-old my parents would freak!

 

Stranger things have happened Just look at Hugh Heifner, he's ancient and his girlfriends are all ages 18-25. Unfortunately I'm not a wealthy pervert, that's the only difference that I can think of.

Some parents would freak out a bit but would they rather their daughter date someone working for minimum wage with no place of their own? There are advantages for younger girls that date older guys. I personally think that someone being successful and established would be a plus as long as the guy wasn't as old as her parents.

 

you have a point, but on the other hand, a lot of guys (and I'm not saying you) only go after younger women to make them feel like studs. they feel inadequate with themselves and need to make up for it by dating younger women. Kind of like how most men who drive convertibles are middle-aged. I rarely see a young guy driving one. It must be a mid life crisis thing. Seriously though, if you really like her then good luck. I'm all for people being happy.

sorry for the speech, I'm in a weird mood tonight...

 

SB, ya' know your not the first woman I've heard mention that convertable, middle aged guys thing. I don't drive a convertable but in defense of those guys that do, they would have probably liked to been able to affors that convertable when they were young studs but by the time they could afford it..well.

As for me, it's not really a matter of younger women making me feel like a stud it's just that when I see something I want I go after it. I've dated many women that were older than me, in fact I was even married to one. If anythng, older women make me feel better about myself and generally speaking, they are in a better financial state than I am much less the younger girls. As you've probably already figured out, the last thing I need is an ego boost so I can safely say that that is not the reason for me chasing after this 18 year old. The reason is quite simple, albeit shallow, she's a little hottie.

 

BTW Liz, do you need me to give you a ride next week? if so, we'll need to leave a little arly cause I usually stop and pick up Tim on my way also. let me know.

 

heh heh. well ok, it's shallow, but at least you admit it! and no, you do not need an ego booster. I know your ego is intact.

Oh, yes, if I go, I will definitely need a ride! thanks! I'll keep my mouth shut in the car.

 

Okay group, someone had asked for me to give them an update and here it is...

I assumed that Patricia had turned me down and I just continued on seeing her twice a day when I went down stairs to eat. We say hi, hola, etc. and I even threw in a 'que passa' this morning. But today at lunch something happened that could be nothing, but on the other hand it might be a good sign. Please advise again.

I walk up to the Patricia's counter and there is a male co-worker of hers there putting peoples lunch in sacks. Patricia looks at him and says,
"there's my boyfriend." {big smile}
{everybody smiles)
me: [extremely confused at this point because at first I thought she was telling ME that HE was her boyfriend}
coworker: congratulations
Patricia: I'm just kidding
coworker(to me): well she's not married
me (desperate for a response): yeah I know unfortunately I don't speak spanish very well.

The three of us exchange smiles and I go my own way completely taken off guard by the latest riddle. She was probably just being friendly and I wouldn't want to make to big of a deal out of it or she would think that I'm one of those weird desperate people that thinks that everyone who talks to them is ready to hop in the sack with them. BUT---I'm thinking if she had decided that there was absolutely no way she was interested in dating me, would she have even joked around about something like that?

I can't believe that I'm letting ANY woman get to me this much. It's been years since I spent this much time thinking about one woman (especially one that I have never even kissed) so apparently I like her more than I have admitted to myself yet. Anyway, your help would be appreciated.

darth

 

well, it's quite possible that she likes you. she's flirting anyway.

 

Sounds promising...

Have you seen her interact with other guys? Some gals flirt with all guys whether they're interested or not. (Though from what you've said about her, she doesn't seem like that type.) But anyway, if she doesn't joke like that with everyone then this is a good sign!