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Beyond - Legends Helpless Inside: A Dark Side Poem

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Deneveon, Jul 1, 2003.

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  1. Deneveon

    Deneveon Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    --


    HELPLESS INSIDE


    --


    Hello?are you there?
    Can you hear me speaking.
    Please?still there?
    Can you hear me screaming.
    I am lost, in my own nightmare
    Horrors I created myself.
    Will someone save me, take my hand.
    Before I drown, into this mess.

    But can?t I see it? I am lost!
    Forever condemned to this.
    I made the choice, long ago.
    Useless now, every wish.
    I know I am dead, and never again
    Can I taste true light.
    Yet I cannot cease to linger near,
    And pray for a savior by night.

    Will you help me?
    Perhaps, I am simply, lost!
    But wait?can you help me?
    You might be my hope after all.
    Where are you going?
    Please don?t leave.
    I seem restless, and horrid, and lacking of mercy?I know.
    But maybe you can find some humanity in me.

    Are you there?
    Please, listen to me.
    I am trapped in my prison of darkness.
    I was not what I seem to be
    Help me
    Please


    --

    --Den
     
    Deneveon, Jul 1, 2003
    #1
  2. AERYN_SUN

    AERYN_SUN Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2001
    Hello?are you there?
    Can you hear me speaking.
    Please?still there?
    Can you hear me screaming.
    I am lost, in my own nightmare

    Good poem, Den :D Loved the first stanza.

    ~aeryn
     
    AERYN_SUN, Jul 2, 2003
    #2
  3. tatooinewizard

    tatooinewizard Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 13, 2003
    Interesting take on what it feels like. I enjoyed it.
     
    tatooinewizard, Jul 2, 2003
    #3
  4. Deneveon

    Deneveon Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Thanks.

    --Den
     
    Deneveon, Jul 3, 2003
    #4
  5. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Wow!

    And I loved the first stanza. Has to be my fave part.

    But, oddly . . . makes me think of this:

    Hello
    Can you hear me?
    Am I getting through to you?
    Hello


    But maybe that's just me . . .

    Dana
     
    Dantana Skywalker, Jul 3, 2003
    #5
  6. duskwings

    duskwings Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Wow. Beautiful poem, Den, and a very interesting take on the Dark Side. I suppose it is a prison, after all, since very few come back from it, but I wonder how many Dark Jedi or Sith realize it? Hmm . . . very interesting. *starts looking pensive*

    Anyways, lovely poem. [face_love]

    -duskwings
     
    duskwings, Jul 3, 2003
    #6
  7. Deneveon

    Deneveon Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Dana: Thank youz, glad ya liked. :D

    duskwings: Yeah. This poem actually started as a depressing, morbid thing I wrote when I was feeling really pent up, then it kinda grew into something about the dark side. *shrugs* Go figure. Anyhoo, glad ya like it.

    --Denni
     
    Deneveon, Jul 4, 2003
    #7
  8. Deneveon

    Deneveon Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Upping...

    --Den
     
    Deneveon, Jul 20, 2003
    #8
  9. Mertroid

    Mertroid Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2002
    Wow! :D
    Greatly written. Yeah that first stanza just grabs your attention. A very powerful poem that is. Great work! :cool:
     
    Mertroid, Jul 20, 2003
    #9
  10. Deneveon

    Deneveon Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Thank you.

    --Den
     
    Deneveon, Aug 1, 2003
    #10
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