Colum, OH Hmmm...

Just found this quote at the top of a piece of fanfiction and I've never come across it before, but had to share...

A hypothetical paradox:
What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?
Tom Galloway

 

The stormtroopers beams deflect off of whatever they do have to hit, and bounce around, weakening the structure...the place starts to look like the bank in the first matrix, and it collapses, killing the red shirts.


Problem solved.

 

Ahh...but lest you forget that Enterprise security teams always have at least one crew member who either survives to kill all the badguys, or is captured so that the Enterprise can stage a rescue mission...thus killing all the badguys.

 

I didn't forget, I just have never cared about Star Trek enough to learn.

 

Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm rooting for the Stormtroopers. But you have to keep in mind that they were ultimately defeated by Ewoks and I just have to imagine that even the weakest red shirt has to be tougher then a teddy bear with a rock.

Still, I like Stormtroopers more, so I'm sticking with them.

Now, a few things I've always wondered:
Clone Troopers vs. Stormtroopers (I vote Clones.)
the Jedi Order vs. the Green Lantern Corp. (Sorry, but I've got to go with the Green Lanterns.)

 

I think that the Enterprise crew has the advantage. No matter your numbers, if you can't hit anything, your not going to win a battle. 5 security guys could take out 90 stormtroopers, and it would look like the battle on Geonosis after the Trade Fedration ship crashed into the ground. Lasers flying everywhere, but the only ones being hit would be the stormies.
But if you take the Stormtrooper Effect into consideration, since there is no protaganist present, the Stormtroopers would become more accurate. But even though they become more accurate, the security crew would always win since they can beam out at any second. Thus bringing the wrath of the Enterprise, or a bigger security force.

 

I have to side with the Enterprise security crew on this one. Red shirts, or Gold depending on what time period your looking at, have always been far more accurate than the Stormtroopers. I say this mainly because the Red shirts hit something 75% of the time and it's usually the bad guy.

 

But i think something needs to be said for the stormtrooper effect here. Even though the Red Shirts could beam out at any moment, why did they never beam out if they were captured. I would instead state that they have a higher percentage of having a protagonist beam IN, which would throw everything off...but really, if they were that important, why would the enterprise 5 of them up against a full battalion of stormtroopers?