HoJo Knights: The Next Violation

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jar Jar, Sep 10, 2002.

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  1. Jar Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 1998
    star 4
    (The setting is a nursing home on Hoth. Really it's not a nursing home so much as it's a nursing cave, and it has sign above it depicting the title in basic: Oldbie hole.)

    Yes, this is a home for oldbies. Many of them are beyond help as their sheer oldbieness has rendered them incapable of anything remotey resembling an active lifestyle. They can't speak, can't move, and can't swallow or eat. They rely on feeding tubes for their sustenance and bed pans for relief. All they do is stare blankly at the cave walls when awake or their eyes are closed when asleep. For many, the drool pouring from their open mouthes has formed moat-like pools around and on their beds.

    On one bed, far to the back and covered in dust and thick cobwebs is a computer. It's your average portable computer, but it's of a very old design and it technology is laughable by the modern standards enjoyed far, far away from this place. The computer has only one adornment on it, a piece of masking tape. Scrawled on that tape with a sharpee pen are the words:

    "Hi my name is Jar Jar Shtinks III, and I am a HoJo Knight!"

    The computer has sat there, undisturbed and covered in caked-on dust for countless years, just like the other residents of the oldbie hole. It has been a peaceful time and all the muscle atrophy aside, has been very relaxing.

    Then there is a tremor on the planet's surface followed by another and then another. Suddenly the cave begins to shake, not by much mind you, but it's enough to cause a few pictures to slip off their hangers, and one such picture smacks into the old computer..

    Suddenly an old Gungan materializes in the lobby of a long-abandoned and dilapidated Howard Johnson Hotel (HoJo), lying there asleep. After a short time the old man gets up and rubs his eyes, stretching and looking around. He puts on his glasses and looks around but still can't see well.

    "Hey Iam, you didn't pay the power bill and the lightsh are out again!" He half mumbles as his eyes adjust "If we don't pay the billsh we can't have guesh-!"

    The old gungan stops himself as he senses he is alone and there are not any life forms even remotely close. Panicked, he hobbles out into the street and begins looking around for anything, any sign of activity, but there is none.. Only condemed structures and abandoned landspeeders as far out as he can see. At the sight of this the Gungan begins to shake and he falls to his knees. Realizing what he is doing he tries to regain control, and after throughly saturating himself he manages to do so. Fortunately he had his depends on, or it would have been a real mess.

    "Concentrate!" The gungan says to himself as he begins to remember his training. "Ash Iam once shaid. "Fear ish not a HoJo thing.."

    He closes his eyes and begins reaching out with the force. It takes great effort, but he feels there are some lifeforms far away and they appear to be strong with the force and probably Jedi. He begins moving in that direction as quickly as he can.

    Meanwhile, inside a bar several miles away from the old, decrepit hotel...

    (This thread is what I hope will be the start of a new generation of HoJo Knights, a hopefully humourous fanfic group like the old one was. I want to start it up with both old and new members, so if you want to join take your place in the bar and the old gungan will arrive shortly.) ;)


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